I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

never come back.

Ch463. From now on, we only have each other

【The preciousness of life.】

Chitose Toyokawa recalled a poem her mother had read to her when she was a child: "Raise a dog when your child is born... When the child grows into a young adult, the dog will use its own death to teach the child the value of life."

But the reality is often not like this.

You may not always have a dog at home, and it may not be a dog that teaches children the value of life.

"Eh?"

After Toyokawa Shoko announced the verdict, she turned her head away and didn't want to look at Chitose's reaction.

She had already imagined Chitose's expression but was too afraid to face the reality.

It's just like not daring to face the reality of one's mother's death.

In confusion and bewilderment, Qiansui's pupils instantly became blurred.

She wavered her finger, pointing at Xiangzi and then at herself:

"Xiao Xiang, don't play tricks on me. This joke... isn't funny at all."

"..."

"Is this really not a joke?"

"..."

Woo.

Only when she said the words "My mother has passed away" did Shoko Toyokawa completely accept this reality.

"Wow... I also hope this is a joke..."

She didn't cry on the way to the hospital, and she held back her tears when she saw her mother's remains. She didn't cry when she returned home and saw Qiansui.

But now she could no longer control her emotions.

"Mom is gone... I... I didn't even have the chance to call her by her nickname a few more times..."

"Why bother with etiquette... Calling you mom one more time is calling you mom one less time..."

Xiangzi collapsed on the ground, covering his face and sobbing weakly.

The night light flickered a few times, and the windows outside were hit by raindrops. Tonight, her crying was drowned out by the sound of rain.

"Mom... is she really gone? How could this happen... How could this happen..."

Chitose stood there blankly, and when Xiangzi's crying filled the entire room, she knelt down with a plop.

"How could it be... It's impossible. I saw her this morning. This morning... My mother even hugged me in her arms this morning—"

With his hands tightly hugging his shoulders, Chitose Toyokawa looked even more devastated than Shoko.

Her hands reached out to grab the air, as if trying to keep her mother who had left.

"Woo woo...years old..."

Xiangzi really didn't want to see Qiansui like this, but her expression was clearly even more miserable than Qiansui's.

"Where is Mommy now? Where is Mommy? Where did you hide Mommy? Why are you telling me now?"

"Mom is in the hospital, I don't dare take you there... Xiaosui... Xiaosui? Xiaosui, are you okay? Don't scare me!"

Chitose Toyokawa fell silent instantly. When Shoko Toyokawa used all her strength to look up at Chitose, she saw that the other person was looking at her with empty eyes.

What kind of eyes were those? Empty and hopeless, without a trace of emotion at all.

"Xiao Xiang..."

This sound is more like a cry than a call.

"I'm here, Xiaosui, don't be afraid, I will always be with you." Moving his knees, Xiangzi stepped forward and hugged Qiansui.

"I..." Pale tears fell, and Qiansui spoke weakly, "Will we no longer have a mother in the future?"

"..."

[Yes, we will not have a mother in the future.]

Thinking of this, Toyokawa Shoko stopped crying, and she suddenly felt numb inside.

"From now on, it's just us—what should we do? What should we do without our mother?"

"I don't know either... Xiang... Wuuwuwu, I miss my mother so much, I really miss her so much."

"Don't cry, don't cry, sister is still here."

Shoko Toyokawa hugged Chitose Toyokawa while crying. They huddled together and cried, and their tears mixed together to form their longing for their mother.

“We don’t have a mother anymore… We don’t have a mother anymore…”

"We, do we still have each other? Xiaoxiang, I still have you, right? Will you leave me?"

"I will always be with you. After mother passes away, I will definitely take good care of you in her place."

"Ugh."

The room was warm, but their hearts were chilled. They hid in the corner of the bedroom, the floor-length curtains half-draped over them transformed into white linen clothes.

The chill spread from the soles of her feet to her heart, and gradually Qiansui stopped crying and hugged Xiangzi even tighter.

Xiangzi was really sad to see his sister's appearance, but he was no longer able to comfort her.

Even though the wind and rain outside the window stirred the atmosphere inside the room, the only thing that could break the whimpering of the storm was each other's slight breathing.

I don’t know how much time has passed. In the past, their mother would tell them to go to bed at this time.

But today their mother passed away, and there would be no one to urge them to go to bed or turn off the lights for them.

Before I knew it, I realized that the good night we said to each other yesterday was actually the last time we said goodbye to each other at night in this life.

"Xiao Sui... I'm so cold."

Toyokawa Shoko's lips were pale.

"Then if I hold you, will you feel better?"

[No, Xiaosui, I'm even colder.]

Today, Shoko Toyokawa realized the value of life.

The so-called preciousness of life is the warmth that her hands feel.

What everyone said about warmth and cold is right. This temperature difference is the preciousness of life.

"Wow... I'm so cold, I'm so cold..."

Xiao Sui's body was so hot, and the mother's body I touched today was so cold. The more I hugged her, the more I got frostbitten from the shocking cold.

Being alive is warm, without a doubt. This warmth means being able to see my mother, talk to her, play with her, and act coquettishly with her... all these possibilities are still there.

But death is cold and raw.

This sense of ice means that Mizuho Toyokawa's world has ended and all possibilities no longer exist.

What Toyokawa Shoko felt was the warmth of this "possibility".

"Xiao Sui, we will all be fine from now on... wuwuwu..."

My sister's mental state had just improved a little, but my mother had another accident.

He kept comforting Chitose for fear that she would be upset, but in fact, Toyokawa Shoko was the one who was upset.

Living and dying. The difference in temperature is as great as the difference in possibilities and distance between them. Shoko's mother, Mizuho Toyokawa, finally taught her a lesson... Her mother taught her this.

"But I don't want to learn this... Please, Mom, come back..."

They washed, they changed their clothes, they kept silent until bedtime.

The orange light of the night lamp was the last thing that could make Xiangzi feel warm - no, at least she was still young.

"People are so fragile, year old."

"Hmm... wuwu..."

"Are you still sad?"

"I, I didn't, I..."

Chitose Toyokawa is trembling, how could Shoko Toyokawa not notice it?

But she was powerless, she couldn't even comfort herself.

"It's okay, mom is gone...my sister is still here."

She wiped the tears from Qiansui's face and said weakly:

"And...Xiao Sui..."

"You must never leave me."

Ch464. Her sorrow, her taking advantage of the situation

Her departure was never just a simple departure.

Human beings are insignificant, so insignificant that the life and death of an individual has a very small impact on the human race as a whole in most cases.

But people are complex and huge. Sometimes they are so complex that the death of just one person can change the fate and lives of countless people.

So, since death has so many consequences, is there any way to prevent people from dying?

Chitose’s answer is: We have no other choice except the system.

Mizuho Toyokawa is gone, leaving behind countless influences that have further altered the Toyokawa residence in ways both profound and subtle. That’s how it is.

"Xiaoxiang, Xiaoxiang, we have to go to school."

Before the morning light sneaked into the bedroom, Qiansui's weak call had already sounded in Xiangzi's ears.

"But...it's still early..."

Toyokawa Shoko answered her sister in a daze. Just as she changed her mind and was about to go back to sleep, she heard her sister's aggrieved whisper:

"Mom won't be having breakfast with us today, and I can't stay at the table and chat with her anymore. I, I want to go to school early."

"..."

Shoko Toyokawa's eyes widened, and she suddenly lost all sleepiness.

Sleep is wonderful. A chance to escape from it all, but reality will eventually set in.

When reality hits you in the face, believe me, you will be so shocked that you won't be able to sleep!

"Okay, let's... go have breakfast."

Xiangzi, who lost his mother, held the hand of Qiansui, who also lost his mother, in a daze.

They quickly washed and prepared to attend a family breakfast without their mother.

How sad.

……

How sad.

"Fortunately, my sister's condition is stable. She has gotten much better after these years of recuperation."

Those pills, which are larger than soybeans and fish oil capsules, are essential medicines that Chitose Toyokawa has to take after meals every day over the years.

Year after year of steady recovery barely made her less soft, as if the shadow of the past had let her go and forgiven Xiangzi.

But, is this really the case?

Chitose looked too haggard today, so Xiangzi refused to let him come to class. His father and grandfather didn't say much about it, as he wasn't in the best condition either.

I hope this doesn’t dampen my youth…

"Xiaoxiang, I'm sorry. Are you feeling okay?"

"Um... Mu, thank you for your concern."