I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

You, a fool like Ms. Nagasaki, are worthy enough to compete with me?

Qiansui sat on Su Shi's chair, quietly waiting for the little guy to come out.

That's the way it is.

……

My name is Ichinose Suyo. I thought I would spend another night alone without my parents. If a beautiful older sister hadn't suddenly visited me, I would have almost believed it.

After taking a shower and changing clothes, Su Shi came out wrapped in a bath towel.

She stood there pretty, looking as delicious as a piece of raw scallop that had been dipped in sauce by itself.

Without a second thought, she walked out of the bathroom and met Noshiro Chitose's kind gaze.

"Have you finished washing? Go to bed now..."

"Ah...Okay..."

Su Shi was as drowsy as an alcohol lamp, but when he walked to the door and was about to wipe his hair, he stopped.

"What's wrong? Are you worried that no one will be with you after I leave?"

"Ah."

"Very frankly, I'll accompany you today and I won't go back."

Qiansui took the towel and wiped Su Shi's head, while also comforting him.

"You don't need to worry about your mother. I took good care of her before I left. Just sleep peacefully."

"Huh? Okay!"

What a reliable elder sister...really, really, really more reliable than my mom.

Nagasaki Suyo is still naive and doesn't understand what price this encounter will cost her in the future.

So Xiao Sushi’s life was “invaded”.

……

Suze's room is neither too big nor too small, and they were able to make room for their daughter in such a crowded house. One can imagine how much love the Ichinose couple has for Suze.

If it weren't for various reasons, who would be willing to abandon their daughter?

But this cannot be an excuse for them to ignore Su Shi.

Noshiro Chitose gently covered Su Shi with the small quilt. The other was curled up in the corner of the bed in her furry pajamas, looking at Chitose from time to time with her sparkling blue eyes.

"Little Sushi, what's wrong?"

"I was thinking... I'm a lot like you before? What does that mean?"

"Don't use your honorifics, just call me by my name."

Chitose pinched Ichinose Suyo's chubby little face.

"What I mean is that you and I are very similar. When I was your age, I was already prepared to take care of my sister alone. And Su Shi was also prepared to stay at home and sleep alone, right? Su Shi is very strong."

"Enlightenment? Such an abstract word... How many times can a person have enlightenment in their life?"

"This..."

Noshiro Chitose wanted to say more words, but she was suddenly speechless.

Yeah, enlightenment...

How many times in life will I hug her?

Ch75. The so-called "bad woman" awakening

The most frightening thing is the careless words of children. Children always say things that make adults feel really hurt.

It was midnight and Chitose Noshiro still couldn't fall asleep. The pressure that had been accumulating for a long time was still brewing.

In fact, the problem that has troubled Qiansui has always been very simple.

So-called... the troubles outside of the simulation that Takamatsu Touma, Shiina Tateki, Toyokawa Shoko, Nagasaki Motoyo, and Haizuka Kyomoto brought her...

The constant self-hypnosis, the struggle with conscience, the constant adaptation within the so-called simulation...

They are all just constant internal consumption around one problem.

That question is:

If I had chosen to go with the flow, without any evil intentions, and just acted like a bad person… I could have just tried to help these girls as much as possible. Even if I died suddenly, it wouldn't have been a bad result!

"You can clearly let the system set a rule that automatically kills you at a certain point! Why do you have to be the bad woman yourself?"

Yes... There is no need for her to take this extra step, but why can she set the script on behalf of Chitose when she is struggling in the difficult times?

Lying on Su Shi's bed, Noshiro Chitose had no desire to sleep.

She got out of bed and curled up in the corner, her twenty-six-year-old body housing a confused sixteen-year-old soul.

In the moonlight, you can clearly see the handsome profile of the cute child.

Noshiro Chitose was still thinking hard about all this.

"If there's an answer...it's probably that tanking won't solve all this."

A simulation of a bad game, throwing away all the self-blame and internal friction, just keeping one's good original intention and continuing the simulation... sounds good, doesn't it?

No, not at all...

If you just rely on luck and find that you don't need to exert any "determination" to complete the simulation, your tolerance will reach its limit.

A person who chooses to give others a lifelong regret, yet is not prepared to have his or her own conscience condemned...

Since a person has chosen to simulate time and time again in exchange for life, he only wants to passively simulate instead of actively controlling everything, without the awareness of "controlling his own destiny"...

Then this person's life would be over.

Becoming a captive of the system, repeatedly insisting that I am a good person and that it is only the system that has problems, and trying to adapt to everything...

How can they become qualified bad women?

The pressure that had been squeezing for a long time reached its peak at this moment.

"What do you think a so-called bad woman is? From the very beginning, she's decided to become a hyena-like creature, sacrificing her own kindness to save her own life. And yet she still holds such ridiculous ideas as 'it's okay to just go with the flow,' 'it's okay not to actively do bad things,' 'it's okay to pretend to do good things and then accidentally discover she's actually done something terrible that will have a huge impact on a girl's life.' Do such people even deserve to be called bad women?"

No, in other words, is this kind of person worthy of using the simulated method of changing his fate?

Noshiro Chitose walked into the bathroom and whispered a scolding to herself in the mirror.

"From the very beginning, I was destined to be a bad woman..."

"Isn't it enough that you can represent Qiansui? You're still hesitant and upset!"

Then why don’t you go kneel down and cry in front of Mini Takamatsu Deng, Alcohol Takamatsu Deng, and the small fry Shiina Riki!

Having not recovered from the third simulation, why would he hesitate before the fourth simulation?

Who are you being sorry for? You are being sorry for yourself the most!

The so-called bad woman, the so-called person who can properly complete the "lifelong regret"...

Absolutely not! Absolutely not! After the fact, I suddenly realized that my life had completely changed! Like facing those idiots in the simulation and being panicked and not knowing how to respond!

These people...are not qualified to be lifelong regret simulators.

Is it worthy of being called a one-on-many main attack when someone is pressed against the wall?

True simulator adaptors are truly bad women! They should be prepared to play with others.

If there is no such awareness, the process of hunting for longevity is nothing more than self-indulgence and self-hypnosis of hypocritical people.

The simulation is fake, but your own experience is real... You are the only one in the world who knows what life is like in the simulation... You are the only one who can listen to your own pain.

"I can replace Chitose! I'm not that kind of idiot who fails..."

There is no way out.

If at this point you're still feeling sad or confused before taking the plunge, then you're truly an idiot, Chitose Noshiro!

"No, it's too hot here... I need to go out for a walk."

She pulled on her windbreaker, opened the door and left. Chitose Noshiro left a small gap in the house, after all, she didn't have the key to the Ichinose house.

The streets were quiet, but Noshiro Chitose was not afraid at all.

She knew that as long as she was still breathing, she had the strength and means to keep herself safe.

It's still very hot.

So Qiansui led the way with one hand and put the windbreaker over his shoulders.

“Is there anyone else who has a system?”

She murmured to the moon, which appeared too early.

"Is anyone else running a simulation that they'll regret for the rest of their lives?"

The moon cannot respond to anyone who speaks to it. That is the moon.

If those people really exist, what do they think?

Does this create a false sense of self-worth? For example, "This simulation is just to make other people's lives better, but if I suddenly die, I can't be blamed for it, right? None of these mistakes were intentional. I'm still a good person."

Or let the system have a setting of [simulating for 100 days and then dying]?

It can alleviate the psychological burden of the simulated person to a great extent, and then what?

Then what…

"Since you're doing something out of your own greed, you're not a good person to begin with. And you're hiding and covering up, giving yourself all sorts of excuses to evade the psychological burden..."

Within the scarlet pupils, three circles of golden light swayed with Qiansui's steps.

Noshiro Chitose sighed, her face expressionless.

"nausea."

You hypocritical scum, aren't you still so hypocritical no matter how you pretend?

Without awareness, you dare to mess up the lives of the characters in the simulation, and dare to venture into the simulator stage...

How can a coward who can't even control other people's life scripts have the qualifications to call herself a bad woman?

Having decided to satisfy one's own selfish desires, if one continues the simulation, one must be prepared to become a real bad woman.

Otherwise, just pack up your things and go to the hospital to wait for death.

Do unenlightened bastards deserve infinite life and endless treasures in this world?

Chitose Noshiro put on her clothes and walked to a street stall to buy a row of Demon Slayer sake.

She took a taxi to the small pier where the lights fell into the sea, and listened quietly to the wind bringing the distant wails.

"Those wails can be anyone's, but not yours... Noshiro Chitose."

Chitose bit the straw of the Demon Slayer Wine, took just one sip, and then threw all the Demon Slayer Wine into the sea.

"I swear, no matter how painful it is, I will have the heart to do it. I will bear all the guilt by myself."

The remaining wine can be regarded as food for the alcohol lamp, even though she does not exist in this world.

Qiansui can't drink too much, otherwise it will affect the simulation on the next day.

Also, alcohol will affect her senses. If she just acts like a bad woman when she is drunk, that would be too sad!

"Since I've chosen to continue the simulation, I must be a real bad woman."

Become a bad woman who can manipulate the system and control the lives of the characters in the simulation.

You can feel sad and painful about your own actions, but no matter how painful it is, you must stab the other party with a bayonet.

Those who are enlightened are always happy. I hope on behalf of Qiansui that I will not suffer again in the future.

She slowly walked back to the Ichinose house, washed up quickly, and then lay back down on Su Shi's bed.

That's the way it is.

Ch76. I will always be with you