I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

I feel a little depressed for no reason.

Why am I so bored?

Noshiro Chitose raised her head, and the floating clouds in the sky answered her question.

I don't know.

That's the way it is.

Ch111. There is really a bowl of ginseng chicken soup in the refrigerator

In Nagasaki House, in Su Shi's bedroom.

Su Shi, who was feeling sleepy in the afternoon and wanted to take a nap, slowly opened his eyes. The eye mask had been slid to the side of the pillow at some point during his sleep.

She just opened her eyes, but her body didn't move at all.

The azure eyes lost their luster and turned into a hollow gray-blue.

Su Shi just lay on the bed like this. If there were someone else around, they would definitely not be able to detect Su Shi's breathing.

She seemed like an empty body without a soul.

【Chitose Noshiro has died.】

Chitose Noshiro died...

Chitose Noshiro...she's dead.

"call--"

She did nothing wrong, but it still happened.

"No, this time... I did it wrong... I made so many mistakes..."

Su Shi's voice was intermittent, as if it did not come from his throat but floated from the distant horizon.

Her lips were dry and her face was sticky and covered with tears. The quilt, sheets, and eye mask were all soaked with sweat and tears.

It was like the clothes I wore on the day I disbanded the band in my dream, all soaked.

That time, she killed Crychic with her own hands.

No, that's not important anymore.

Crychic, it doesn't matter...

Who is more important, Chitose Noshiro or Crychic?

"I can't choose... I have none of them... nothing, nothing, nothing at all."

Su Shi struggled to get up from the bed, mumbling unconsciously from time to time.

Her eyelids drooped weakly as she saw the warm sun outside the window.

The world was so warm that even her body became warm.

There were a few moments when she thought about jumping off and ending it all.

"But...if I jump, I'll never be able to recall anything about Chitose..."

In her dream, she has a stepmother, but in reality, she has nothing.

"Why... Mom... forgive me... I really, really didn't mean to say that that day..."

The memories are so sweet. My mother’s face has become a little blurry in my later dreams.

In the future of her dream, she lived alone for many years.

My mother rarely comes home since my mother passed away. She seems to be numbing her nerves with alcohol and work.

As soon as she got home, her mother would lock herself in her room and cry.

She might also like Chitose Noshiro very much.

She might consider Chitose as her sister, or she might consider Chitose as her family member——

Just like myself.

Whenever her mother came home and cried, Su Shi would cry too. The two of them would often hug each other and cry on the sofa.

This was one of the few times she and her mother spent time together. Crying together.

Su Shi lowered his head and dragged his body to the sofa.

The dream is over.

The slippers in reality are not the rabbit-ear slippers given by my mother when I was 18 years old, and there are no such beautiful and warm decorations in the bedroom and living room in reality.

Even if... I can't wake up.

Su Shi felt herself crying again. This time she cried for no apparent reason. Even she herself only realized that her eyes... were crying alone after she noticed the water stains on the ground.

"Even if... I can't wake up, it's okay."

After waking up, I realized that I had never had a stepmother.

Rather than losing the love you never had... perhaps never having been loved is more painful.

No, Sushi does not fall into either of these categories.

She juggled them all, after all…

Su Shi had never received such love, but at the same time, she had received such love but also lost such love.

The house was so cold that the falling tears turned into cold rain.

"Letter... Yes, I want to write down the letter my mother wrote to me..."

Her limbs suddenly gained unprecedented power, which seemed to be the last bit of strength in her body.

After all, crying is a physical activity, and she didn't even know how long she cried after falling asleep.

He kicked over his schoolbag to find the paper, and rummaged through the desk to get the pen.

Nagasaki Suyo bent over the desk, trying her best to recall the letter her mother left behind.

She had read that letter over and over again in her dreams tirelessly countless times, and she was so familiar with it that she could write it down from memory even with her eyes closed.

The pen was shaking, no, it was Su Shi's arm that was shaking.

She had to hold her trembling arm with her other hand, but she couldn't wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes...

Tears dripped onto the paper, but Su Shi had no time to care about them.

“Writing…it hurts…but I still have to write…”

Mom, I was wrong...I'm sorry.

I spoke harshly that day... I'm really sorry...

I was ignorant and only wanted love, but I never gave you the love in return... I'm sorry...

Mom, will you forgive me...if, if you really exist...

I beg you not to forgive me... I really regret losing my temper that day... Please forgive a little girl's rebellion. She really felt bad...

Su Shi wrote so quickly that his pen ran out of ink.

But she still wrote, writing numbly, writing stiffly, writing completely tirelessly—

She just wanted to write...

She changed to a pencil, but she pressed too hard and the tip broke, so she had to use a fountain pen to finish the writing.

Nagasaki Suyo held aloft her masterpiece...a letter from her mother copied using three different pens.

That was the only thing in the real world that could bring peace of mind to Su Shi... Her spiritual sustenance was gone, leaving only these words.

"Mother…"

Su Shi exhausted his last bit of strength and collapsed to the ground sobbing.

She fell asleep, but it was a painful sleep with her brows furrowed.

……

This time, Su Shi slept until midnight.

She wandered around the house in confusion, and went to the terrace several times, wanting to jump down.

But all of them stopped because of the pain in my heart.

"Perhaps Chitose Noshiro also exists in this world... I can't die, I have to find her..."

I want to cherish her, I want to cherish the person I want to cherish, even if this person doesn’t know me.

After many years, the shadow of Crychic finally no longer shrouds Su Shi's heart, because a larger and darker cloud has replaced all the previous haze.

Su Shi had cried herself into silence, and while she fell into a coma, she had a series of short but vicious nightmares.

My overall condition became worse and worse, and not having eaten for a whole day... made it even worse.

Walking barefoot on the floor, there were still tear stains on some sections of the road that had not been wiped clean. Su Shi felt uncomfortable just by looking at it.

The water stains reflected her face.

But when she saw her own face, Nagasaki Suyo felt sick.

She finally reached the refrigerator and rested against the door for a while before she regained her strength enough to open it.

The door opened gently, and the halo of light from the refrigerator stimulated Su Shi's eyes.

She covered her fragile eyes with her hands, and when she looked at the refrigerator again, her pupils began to tremble uncontrollably.

"Ah...ah!"

There really is a bowl of ginseng chicken soup in the refrigerator.

It lay quietly in the casserole, with only a crack showing, which made Su Shi extremely nervous.

"Mom... woo woo woo..."

Ch112. School starts! Hanegaoka Girls' School!

“Picture books…they’re so pretty.”

Chitose purchased a batch of light novels.

She didn't know if she wanted to see them, she just wanted to buy them.

The last time she read a light novel was in elementary school. At that time, her mother often bought her extracurricular books, but she stopped reading them after her parents passed away.

Now that she is well off, she really wants to buy some books.

However, when she went to the bookstore or searched online, she found that the series of books she had read had been completed.

Time flies. She is already a high school student.

Chitose Noshiro closed the book and got off the tram.

Today is April 6th, and school has started.

April…well, Your Lie in April.

The weather was just right when the spring semester started. I don’t know what blessing it was, but the first day of school was sunnier than any of the previous days.

The eternal sunlight paints a light golden carpet at the entrance of Yugaoka Girls' School.

Lesbians and students walked in groups of three or four, and no one knew which of them would still fall asleep holding each other's hands late at night.

The small feet wrapped in dark green tube socks stepped into the school gate, and Noshiro Chitose finally returned to her loyal Yugaoka.

While it was impossible that she had been here, it was also impossible that she had not been here.

The school uniforms of Yugaoka are changed every year, and the colors of the uniforms of the senior grades are better looking than those of the junior grades...at least that's what Chitose thinks.

"The skirt is so short! Maybe that nefarious student council president came up with this idea just to make things easier for himself?"

Salsasa——

A gentle breeze blew the girl's skirt and also blew the petals of the cherry tree beside her.

A few petals drifted away with the wind, lingering in the sky, and they began to fall, just like some people's lives.