Umamusume's days are numbered

Why would someone take a steel pipe to argue with their friend?

Just as the outstanding students were about to catch their breath, the door to the confessional was opened again.

"Sorry to bother you. I'm not religious, I just wanted a place to talk. May I come in?"

That gentle and refined voice...

That gentle tone...

Carp leaping over the Dragon Gate! It's carp leaping over the Dragon Gate!

Episode 296 The Outside World

I've seen some YouTubers complain about "excellent qualities" online.

These bloggers often live a secluded life, spending their days sitting in front of their computers broadcasting live. Some even don't appear on camera in person, instead using 2D or 3D virtual avatars. They don't have the typical, respectable jobs that most people would expect, and they rarely leave their homes, yet they are often not short of money; while not exactly extravagant, they certainly spend lavishly.

One day, one of these bloggers' mothers couldn't take it anymore. She had a deep conversation with her daughter, in which the daughter explained to her mother that she was just a blogger, not a drug dealer or a scammer.

This is what being considered excellent these days feels like—the awkwardness of being discovered by someone you know to be a VTuber and livestreaming.

The only saving grace was that the carp leaping over the dragon gate didn't seem to recognize itself.

"Sorry to bother you. I'm not religious, I just wanted a place to talk. May I come in?"

Do I even have the right to refuse? Excellent qualities desperately want to refuse the chance to leap over the dragon gate, but she can't.

Thankfully, my voice was processed and relayed by a simultaneous interpreter. It would be strange if the person sitting on the other side of the confessional could recognize me.

With excellent manners, he cleared his throat and began to speak in as steady a voice as possible.

"Is there anything you wish to repent for?"

"I confess... I had inappropriate thoughts about my friend..."

Ah, this. Excellent Quality didn't even feel shocked. Rather, she had already noticed the wolf-like look in Platinum's eyes—the way the carp leaping over the dragon gate looked at Platinum was like seeing fruit about to be picked gradually ripening, revealing a joy of harvest.

"Excellent quality" doesn't seem to mind. Look at McQueen and the Emperor of the East Sea, they're always exchanging glances, especially Zhou, Silent Suzuka, and Grasshopper's love triangle, which was all the rage at Treson Academy. For a while, their fanfiction was at the top of the anonymous forums. It's just normal pursuing someone, and "excellent quality" didn't object to that deep-voiced tent brother from before, did he?

"Although this is rare, it is not forbidden." So, it is a good thing that excellent qualities have been used to guide Platinum away from the clutches of Rudolf's symbolism. "I think it is a great thing to bravely face one's own desires."

Go confess your love to Platinum and rescue her from her misery!

As if finally finding a pillar, the carp leaping over the dragon gate excitedly cried out, "So that's how it is... so having such thoughts wasn't wrong... so even the gods support me!"

"I knew it, I knew it! Now I can do it without worry—I'm going to kill that little bitch!"

···Um?

"Hehe... I've always treated her, my travel companion and school teacher, with the utmost respect. I even thought we'd become good friends... but this is how she treats her friends... hehehe..."

Even though one cannot see the face of the carp leaping over the dragon gate through the barrier, one's excellent qualities cannot help but feel a chill run down one's spine.

"Trying to steal my most beloved treasure from me? What an arrogant fellow, huh. Looks like this childish game of friendship can end here. One by one, you clowns jump out from the middle trying to intercept me—Ibuki Maikaku, and the astronomer, you're nothing but mosquitoes... no, you're nothing but cockroaches! You're the cancer of the earth! Platinum is my treasure, mine, mine! Even if Gold Gun Sixty tries to take it from me, I'll make her pay the price!"

"I have no more doubts, for the gods are on my side, hehe. For the purity of Earth, I will now wage a final holy war... hehehe..."

Then, the familiar, piercing sound of metal scraping against the ground reached her ears again—of course she was familiar with it, she had just heard it before!

Do you all carry weapons with you? What kind of fashion trend is this?

And that inappropriate thought you're referring to is murderous intent towards astronomers?!

"No, wait for me."

Just as the carp was about to leap over the dragon gate and rise with murderous intent, Excellent Quality quickly stopped her.

"This is a recording, this is a recording, this is a recording..." The phrase "excellent manners" kept repeating to himself, and he no longer cared about his appearance. His "excellent manners" were trembling like a sieve.

"Well... I think it's better not to resort to violence in some situations. Think about it, if you act impulsively, you'll face legal consequences."

"Do you still have a crush on someone? Do you still have unfulfilled life goals? Do you still have so many things to do? Life is so long, don't ruin it because of a momentary impulse... Don't stoop to their level. Since we're friends, what can't we talk about?"

"Ah, right, that's how it is." Carp Leaping Over the Dragon Gate slapped his head as if he had just realized something. "Look at me, I was too impatient, to the point that I lost my mind."

"—In a situation like this, an accident is easier than murder, right? Once it's thrown into the sea, it's very difficult to find again. Luckily, Uncle He has some connections in the Chinese gangs here in America…maybe he can buy a life for a reasonable price…"

With a sinister smile, completely ignoring the earnest pleas for him to stay, Li Yuelongmen pushed open the door to the confessional and walked out.

At this point, the person with excellent qualities was completely at a loss. Should they call the police? But the "Leap Over the Dragon Gate" hadn't been put into practice yet; there was still room for salvage. Should they just stand by and watch someone die? That was definitely out of the question, but they couldn't leave right now.

Come to think of it, I was only gone for a short while, how did the outside world become like this? Am I crazy or has the world gone crazy?

Oh right, the phone... the phone! Tell Platinum and the astronomer about this. If we tell Platinum, the situation will be under control... Platinum will definitely listen to Li Yuelong! Forget about recording the show or not, he quickly took out his phone to send a message to the astronomer.

Just as Excellent Quality was sending the message, the door to the confessional was pushed open again.

"Hello, hello, I have something I want to confess... Hmm? Why is my phone ringing? It's a message from Excellent Quality."

"Run...what does that mean?"

I was speechless with amazement. So it was you who walked in this time!

Episode 297 A Frenzied Ride

The astronomer had just pushed open the door to the confessional when he heard his phone ring with the sound of a message being received.

"It's news about outstanding qualities... What does 'run' mean?"

The astronomer glanced at his phone, then at the confessional, and decided to believe Excellent Quality's words: "Um... excuse me, I suddenly remembered I have something to take care of at home."

What ultimately convinced the astronomers to run was the machete lying in the corner of the confessional... It was the one the carp had forgotten to take with it when it leaped over the dragon gate, and it had become part of the confessional's decoration.

It looks pretty scary. Since the excellent qualities told me to run, then I'll run.

"Hey, wait a minute—I'm excellent..." The "excellent quality" was truly anxious. I'm telling you to escape the Dragon Gate, not to escape the confessional! How could this whole situation be so perfectly orchestrated!

With such excellent manners, he didn't even have time to worry about whether the show was still being recorded. He stretched out his arm through the small window, trying to grab the astronomer, while shouting his own name.

Stop running! I'm the epitome of excellence, I'm right here! Right now, the only safe place might be the confessional!

Unfortunately, astronomers' reliance on exceptional qualities far exceeded their expectations. Before she could even shout, the astronomer had already vanished without a trace.

"Damn it... this... this!"

She quickly tried to message the astronomer—but to her horror, she discovered that she couldn't retract her arm that was sticking out of the small window. Her right arm was stuck.

Why now of all times? With excellent manners, she placed her phone on the table, grabbed her right sleeve with her left hand, and tried desperately to pull her right hand back. But it was as if her sleeve had been snagged by something; no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't pull her hand back.

At this critical juncture of life and death, the door to the confessional was pushed open again—there were an unusually large number of visitors today.

"Um, hello, is anyone there?"

It's Platinum's voice! Excellent quality is overjoyed; finally, a character capable of stopping this farce has arrived!

"I have some secrets I've kept buried in my heart that I want to confide in... Uh? Hello?"

Upon entering, Platinum first noticed a large, gleaming machete in the corner, followed by a wildly waving arm protruding from the small window at the back. Although it was only one arm, although it was daytime, and although this was a church, the sheer force of that arm's movement gave Platinum a chilling sense of Silent Hill amidst the sweltering heat.

Having been reborn as a human twice in his life, what hasn't Platinum seen?

She had never seen such a scene before.

"It's me! It's me!" Excellent quality shouted immediately, "It's me, Platinum! My hand is stuck!"

In a state of panic, it's difficult for people to make rational decisions. For example, the person with excellent manners just now could have easily dialed the astronomer's number with one hand instead of first pulling their hand back. And now, the person with excellent manners should first say that they are here, instead of repeatedly saying "It's me, it's me."

Humans are prone to making mistakes under pressure and in critical moments.

"...Excellent qualities?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Excellent Quality was overjoyed. She never expected that Platinum could recognize her even through the electronic voice and with only one arm. Her IQ was ten times that of Poetry Drama. "It's me! I am Excellent Quality! Please save me! I have something very serious to tell you!"

Standing in the position of superior qualities, Platinum is nowhere to be seen, and at this moment, Platinum is already showing a look of disdain.

"I didn't expect to encounter this kind of thing in the United States. Is it because there are too many Japanese people in Hawaii, or is it because the whole world is learning advanced technologies?"

"Let's not use those old scam techniques anymore, especially in a place like this. You responded to just mentioning someone's name? You have some nerve."

The person with excellent qualities almost cried: "No, I really am someone with excellent qualities, would I lie to you?"

"---Alright, if you really are of excellent quality." Platinum held up her phone. "I've dialed the number for 'Excellent Quality.' If you really are of excellent quality, you'll definitely be able to answer my call, right?"

Excellent Quality breathed a sigh of relief. No matter what, Platinum hadn't run out immediately, so he still had a chance to argue... no, to explain. Besides, he was the real Excellent Quality; what was wrong with answering a phone call?

Sure enough, the phone on the table started vibrating—she had deliberately put her phone on silent mode for filming, so Bai Jin wouldn't hear it ringing outside. But that didn't matter; as long as she answered the phone, everything would be alright…

*Thud.* With a sound that shattered the heart of the person with excellent qualities, the person awkwardly picked up the phone with their left hand, which was not used to it. As a result, the phone slipped from their hand as if it had slipped, fell to the ground with a crisp sound, and slid a short distance on the marble floor before coming to a stop.

Such a short distance, a distance that normally only requires bending down to pick up the phone again—that's something that people with excellent manners can't do now.

Because her right hand was stuck in the small window!

Whether it was bad luck or sheer carelessness... in short, it only takes one bad day to ruin a person. This statement truly captures the essence of excellent character.

It doesn't take a day; it can be destroyed in an instant.

Because of his excellent qualities, he had already heard the sound of Platinum closing the door.

The long-awaited phone call finally ended, right before the eyes of the excellent and desperate young man.

Immediately afterwards, a message popped up on his phone—a message from Platinum.

[File Transfer Assistant]: Teacher Necha, where are you? You have no idea what I just encountered.

[File Transfer Assistant]: I encountered a guy who impersonated you to scam people in a church!

Excellent qualities sadly close their eyes.

Honey, the scammer you're talking about is me.

Now things are really messed up. Forget about calling Platinum or astronomers, they can't even call the police.

The phone vibrated again. With excellent manners, I opened my eyes.

[File Transfer Assistant]: Strange, how come Ali and the astronomer are nowhere to be found after we just left the church? Professor Necha, please reply, what's wrong with me now?

A liberated and relieved smile appeared on the face of the person with excellent qualities. It was a symbol of self-abandonment.

I'm sorry, astronomer, I really wanted to save you, but I've done everything I could. Now it's up to you whether you're lucky enough to survive.

(Eight more chapters to go)

Episode 298: Those who frequently dispose of bodies know...

The sea is as bright as transparent blue glass, and the sand is as white as snow. A small church sits on the beach, where a warm breeze gently blows, accompanied by the occasional cry of seagulls.

What a leisurely and carefree scene—besides excellent qualities.

The small door to the confessional was pushed open again.

"Hello, this place is currently under renovation and we are no longer offering psychological counseling services." With his right hand still wedged in the small window, he lazily leaned on the table. "Or could you help me call the police?"

I'm so frustrated, whatever.

"Hello... uh, Sister?" The first thing the visitor saw was a gleaming machete in the corner, followed by an arm sticking out through a small window. The bizarre scene and the terrifying situation were arguably the strangest sights witnessed in Hawaii in the last twenty years, a rather advanced form of performance art.

Through the protruding half-arm, the visitor also determined the gender of the person inside. Such a thin arm could only belong to a woman or a child.

"Ah, it's you." Excellent qualities snapped her out of her daze. That deep voice, that sexy vibrato, that powerful sway as she sat down... wasn't that the fashion designer who was just talking about her boyfriend?

Why are you back again? Did you just have a fight with your boyfriend? But right now, Excellent Quality really wasn't in the mood to talk to this young couple. She sighed and was about to shoo him away when the person's next words made Excellent Quality's eyes widen.

"Sister...I...I just saw someone commit a crime!"

···ah?

"It was a girl who attacked another girl! On a deserted beach, a girl with white highlights in her bangs and a camera hanging around her neck was hit hard on the head with a steel bar by another person. She fell to the ground, thrashed a few times, and then lay still!"

Ahhhhh, astronomers ahhhhh!

With exceptional skill, she leaped up like a carp, but the barrier was unexpectedly strong. Even though she was prepared to destroy it, her right hand still couldn't break free.

How did you manage to leap over the dragon gate so quickly?! What amazing execution ability! Why didn't you use that ability to conquer the platinum trophy?

Is it still salvageable? Is it still salvageable? I advised the carp leaping over the dragon gate not to commit violence. Did the carp leaping over the dragon gate kill the astronomer or just knock him unconscious?