Can Lixi look at me alone?

Yes, it was written when she was a child.

She recognized each of the toys here.

"Remember? You used to love this doll the most... and you wouldn't let me hold it. Every time, you'd grab this doll and say, 'This is...'"

"This was given to me by Xiao Mu and Xiao Xiang."

As Yuzuki blurted out, she looked at the doll playing the role of her daughter and gently rubbed the 'daughter's' head.

"That's right, that's right, you said that before... I didn't expect it to be the same now."

The angel took her hand.

"So why bother liking Li Xi? Didn't I already tell you? Li Xi isn't..."

"Whether it is or not, it doesn't matter anymore. Lixi... likes the lamp. That has nothing to do with me. I... should leave them."

The angel tapped her head with a hint of exasperation.

"Is that all? But Yuzuki has given so much, doesn't she want something in return?"

The pink-haired girl looked at her blue and white striped outfit.

"I've already paid the price... I'm not a normal person. I'm just... pretending to be a normal person."

She accepted the doll from the angel.

For some reason, she couldn't recall the faces of her childhood playmates at all; to her, the angel's features were just a black hole.

Is this right?

No… she remembered that the angel had a lovely face.

Just as she was pondering what angels actually looked like, the angel patted her arm.

"Yuzuki, do you really want to leave like this?"

Should I just leave like this...? But what else can I do if I don't leave?

If she had to choose between hurting Xiaodeng or hurting Lixi, she would rather hurt herself.

Anyway… she also

Not a normal person...

The angel covered her eyes.

"Yuzuki... that's a bit too aloof."

Taking the blame for others' mistakes and shouldering so much responsibility on your own... that's what makes a saint.

But the angel wished even more that she could fall and become a mortal.

When Yuzuki saw the light again, she could clearly see the angel's features.

She stayed where she was.

The face in front of her was exactly the same as Li Xi's, even the location of her beauty mark was identical.

She recognized the face so well that she was startled.

"Yuzuki, you've said it before, haven't you? You've said it many times, haven't you?"

Seeing Yuzuki's surprised expression, she leaned closer to her. Their noses touched.

"Lixi-chan, you're my angel...?? You still remember those words, right?"

After saying that, the angel lifted Yuzuki's chin and kissed her.

Perhaps his lips, which had just been intimate with the lamp, brushed against hers, and an unparalleled rage surged into her mind in an instant.

Why, why are you treating me like this? Am I a concubine in your eyes? A prostitute?

She forcefully pushed Lixi away, and the blue and white hospital gown she was wearing was replaced with the dress she wore to practice today.

Caught off guard and pushed to the ground, Li Xi slowly stood up...

"Yatsuki..."

I...I'm...in the hospital?

The pink-haired girl looked around, not understanding why Li Xi was standing in front of her.

"Why is Lixi here with me? Shouldn't you be taking care of Deng?"

Oh no... I need to control my emotions...

The pent-up grievances and resentment that had been building up for who knows how long finally found an opportunity to be released. Realizing that there were only the two of them in the ward, and that she would never involve anyone else, Yuzuki clutched her head, trying her best to control her emotions.

But she kept seeing images of herself and Lixi... walking hand in hand on the street, sleeping in each other's arms under the covers.

These...memories she cherished, these memories she considered happy, were being altered.

She saw Lixi leading Deng into the practice room, chatting and laughing; she saw Lixi and Deng showering together; she saw Lixi and Deng getting into the same bed… she even saw them doing…

Why…

No…that’s not how it is…

But why...?

She personally made bento boxes for Lixi, made candy for Deng so that she could sing freely so that Lixi could get closer to Deng, endured Xiangzi's enthusiasm that she found disgusting, and also had to maintain contact with Su Shi...

She helped Lixi maintain the band simply because she wanted Lixi to feel happy.

But how did Lixi treat her?

Why, why do I keep ignoring her?

Why keep pretending she doesn't exist?!

If you don't love me, why didn't you just reject me from the beginning?

if…

"If from the very beginning... Lixi didn't like me... why, why did she push me away that day?! Wouldn't it have been better if she had just let me die alone?!"

The pent-up explosives, after being set up by Lixi, were successfully detonated by a few sparks from the angel's brush after Lixi installed the fuse.

Having been grabbed by the collar, Li Xi stumbled and nearly knelt on the ground. She mustered her courage and looked at Jie Yue's beautiful face, which was already somewhat distorted.

"I...no, I've never hated Yuzuki..."

The pink-haired girl was no longer listening. She forcefully tore at Lixi's clothes, and the drummer, unable to resist, fell onto her hospital bed.

Yuzuki's features were twisted with jealousy and contorted with rage.

She choked back tears as she looked at Lixi, who offered no resistance and whose skin was exposed.

"Answer me...why, why did you push me away that day?! Why, after giving me a reason to live, did you cruelly take her away from me?! Tell me, you..."

Suddenly clutching her chest and gasping for breath, Yuzuki trembled and huddled under the covers. The girl's face was as pale as paper, making Lixi want to... give her a hug.

I want to hold her, I want to kiss her... I want to tell her... that I care about her.

But it's too late.

Having finally realized his own feelings, Riki no longer had the courage to even approach Kizuki.

Only the girl's weak breathing could be heard in the room. The two were so close, yet it felt as if they were at opposite ends of the earth.

"Lixi..."

A few minutes, or tens of seconds later?

Lixi didn't know, but she heard Yuzuki's call... This time she would respond.

"I'm here."

Yes... you're here, why... why weren't you here before?

Tears blurred her vision, and the girl, letting her tears flow freely without any burden, slowly sat up.

Do you think Li Xi was born?

Volume 1 Crychic! : Chapter 72 Giving Up

"Lixi...why, why are you doing this to me? What is it about me that I lack compared to Deng? Can you tell me? I give up, I surrender...please? Please, tell me why..."

Still wondering why, Yuzuki felt herself enveloped by a familiar scent, a familiar temperature, and a familiar softness.

Is that so?

At that moment, Lixi hugged her.

but…

too late.

It's already too late.

Lixi-chan…why, why are you hugging me at this time? Do you think you can still use me? Do you want to continue to squander my feelings?

Yes! That's right... It must be like that, it must be like that...!

Lixi, who had taken the initiative to hug her, felt a tearing pain in her neck, but she did not let go of her arms.

The pain caused by his own fear to Akari and Yuzuki far exceeded the physical wounds they suffered.

"I'm sorry... Yuzuki."

She wanted to make Yuzuki vent her anger on her in this way, and wanted to make amends afterward.

But she... still underestimated Yuzuki's feelings for her.

Unable to sense any resistance, the pink-haired girl released her lips and teeth, gently licking the blood from the wound on her neck.

she…

It hurts.

My heart hurts... Seeing Lixi hurts me... My heart aches terribly.

She wanted to tell herself that she didn't care about Lixi at all, that she didn't care what Lixi would do, but she couldn't.

She could clearly feel the throbbing pain with each heartbeat, and she had to accept the reality.

Even now, she still cares a lot about the person in front of her.

"Yuzuki...I..."

I like you, I... don't want you and me to be apart... let's go back to how things were before, okay?

But the words that came out of my mouth turned into…

As Yuzuki tenderly licked her wounds, she heard that familiar voice utter the words that filled her with the utmost despair.

"I'm not worthy... Yuzuki, you can find someone else to like..."

I've only ever hurt the people I like, so what right do I have to demand love from others?

But the next moment, she was violently pinned to the bed by the crazed Yuzuki…

Did I... say something wrong again?

I'm sorry, Yuzuki. I'll leave, I'll go... I... don't deserve your love.

Mutsumi

The lamp, the plain world... they are all more worthy of your affection than I am.

"What do you mean, 'I'll just find someone else to like?'"

She felt another sharp pain in her neck, but not as intense as before. Perhaps it was because Yuzuki was too weak...

Unable to bite down, Yuzuki lifted her head and looked directly at the delicate features that she had tried countless times to maintain this ambiguous distance from.

"What...what do you mean? What exactly do you mean? Is this all my affection and love means to you—something you can just switch partners with?! Do you see me as some kind of stepdaughter you can sleep with however you want?!"

Yuzuki's almost desperate questioning made the person waiting outside the door shrug in fear...

She never imagined that Yuzuki would treat someone like this one day. She must have made a very serious mistake to make Yuzuki so angry...