Can Lixi look at me alone?

Only eight thousand today

I'll give Lixi a bath tomorrow.

Actually, I didn't do anything really bad, did I?

Volume 1 Crychic! !! !! : Chapter 74 Shiina Tatsuki's Confession (5000 words)

Shiina Tatsuki, who hadn't slept all night, sat in the classroom, listening to the teacher's lecture as usual.

But the empty desk beside her constantly drew her attention.

There should be a girl sitting here who's always secretly watching her.

She took a deep breath, trying to focus her attention on the teacher, but she couldn't concentrate no matter what she did.

"Lixi-chan? What's wrong?"

She turned her head and looked towards the back door with surprise... hoping to see a pink figure there.

But she failed.

It's okay... Yuzuki, Yuzuki usually doesn't come over until noon.

She comforted herself, not knowing how many times she had taken out her phone since they parted yesterday, opened the pinned contact on Line, hoping to see a few words of abuse directed at her.

But nothing.

Just like the seat next to me, there was nothing there.

It's okay, Yuzuki doesn't want to see me today. It's okay, tomorrow, Yuzuki is so gentle... she'll definitely...

Riki took out her lunchbox, wanting to share it with Yuzuki. But Yuzuki…

Never mind, tomorrow. The monthly festival will start tomorrow…

I go home alone, take a shower, space out, make lunch for the next day, lie in bed, and glance at my phone every now and then, hoping to see what Jieyue has sent... even if it's just changing the blue unread message to the gray read message.

It's okay, it's okay if Yuzuki doesn't want to see her today. Tomorrow, Yuzuki, tomorrow...

I got up and went into the classroom.

Today... Yuzuki will be at school, right...? She doesn't even check Line... It's really worrying. I wonder how she's feeling... It's been a bit cold lately, I hope she doesn't catch a cold.

With that thought in mind, Li Xi opened Line again, wanting to see... after all...

Hmm, still unread.

It's okay, noon...

It's okay... School's not over yet...

…It's alright, Yuzuki will definitely come tomorrow.

She stood in the bedroom, looking in the direction of Yuzuki's house.

Tomorrow, tomorrow…

Will there be a tomorrow? She scrolled through the chat history, looking at the messages from Yuzuki to Lixi-chan.

Only past chat logs prove that Jieyue existed.

"I'm sorry, Yuzuki... I'm so sorry..."

She looked at the blue unread mark next to her message and deleted every single word she had just typed in the chat box.

Doing these things... will make Yuzuki think she's a nuisance.

Lixi, who was completely distracted from the lesson, didn't hear the bell ring and sat blankly in her seat staring at her phone.

"I miss you so much, I'm sorry. I didn't care about the lamp that much. I should have told Yuzuki that day, I should have gone to be with Yuzuki... I'm sorry. I've always been taken care of by Yuzuki, but I still thought... it was me taking care of Yuzuki..."

It was all my ridiculous pride back then, for the sake of...

It proves that I was the one who took care of Yuzuki while ignoring her shivering from the cold... Things are beyond repair... It's all my fault. I've been enjoying Yuzuki's care all along, but I've disappointed her time and time again..."

She deleted them one by one.

After coughing for a while with her mouth covered, the pale-faced black-haired girl put away her phone.

Because that's not the case at all.

She... isn't like that.

So gentle, so kind to everyone… how could she not like her? How could she… possibly want to hurt her?

But...why?

"How could you possibly like a loser like me?"

She didn't open the lunchbox; she wanted to wait for Yuzuki to arrive before eating with her.

A few glistening tears appeared in her purple eyes as she remembered the lunchbox that Jieyue had brought that day.

That was an extraordinary bento box that Lixi had never seen before. It contained twelve dishes, six meat and six vegetable... and all of them were made by Jieyue's own hands through her hard work.

The lunchbox contained a large portion of fried rice and a bowl of soup.

How could she not know how much heartfelt care the girl had poured into that bento box?

Why do I, a useless person who can't do anything right, deserve your care?

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

That day, she knew that firmly refusing Xiangzi's request to share Jieyue's lunchbox would make Jieyue even happier.

Because it was a special gift from Yuzuki to me, but why...?

Because... Yuzuki likes me.

But... why did you fall in love with me?

She couldn't believe that someone like her could be liked.

From the very beginning, from the moment she saw that Yuzuki was truly loved by everyone.

It's clear now; Yuzuki and she are from two different worlds.

She tried her best to prove to others that she was not an appendage of Maki Shiina.

And Yuzuki... is more outstanding than her older sister, even more...

Every time Lixi sees her, she feels happy and warm...

Like insects that die in the sun.

She wanted to escape the sunlight; she was afraid that one day she would be unable to leave its warmth.

Because she didn't believe that Yuzuki, who was loved by everyone, would fall in love with her.

She couldn't find a reason to believe this fairy tale.

It's okay, anyway... Yuzuki will leave me someday. So let's just let her start hating me from now on...

"Hmm, what would you like to eat?"

She shared the most precious things she had ever possessed with others. She was even willing to listen to their opinions…

Then relay these shameless demands to the sun…

She was forgiven.

Why forgive me? Staying away from me, rejecting me, hating me… wouldn't that be the best choice for you?

Why... why would someone as useless and unlikable as me be liked by someone as gentle as you?

No, haven't I told you many times already? Haven't I... said it many times already?

Anyway… your "likes" and all that, it must have been just a random excuse… just to comfort me, to comfort trash like me who came up with such an excuse…

Deng...and Mu, they are both better than me, countless times better than me...Why, why do you still want to stay by my side and care about me?

Don't come near me.

She said this to Yuzuki.

But I like Riki-chan.

Yuzuki hugged her tightly.

Getting this close will cause you to get hurt.

She warned Yuzuki, but Yuzuki rubbed against her shoulder dismissively.

It's okay, I'm not afraid of getting hurt.

So she... hurt Yuzuki time and time again. Without any ulterior motive... just for her own laughable pride, just because of her own cowardice...

Because she didn't believe that Yuzuki would like her.

Yuzuki never forced her to fall in love with him, and Yuzuki always made sacrifices for her...

Even if I rejected her, even if I rejected her once before, even if I rejected Yuzuki's feelings once... wouldn't Yuzuki be less pained? Would Yuzuki still stay by my side?! No, we can still maintain a safe distance, and I can see her every day?

Why would you fall in love with someone as cowardly and useless as me?

She leaned against the wall, watching her classmates return to their seats one by one, and listened to the school bell ring, ending the lunch break.

Yuzuki didn't come, nor did she open the lunchbox.

Feeling her hungry stomach protesting, Lixi suddenly wanted to laugh.

She knew... Yuzuki wouldn't want to see her like this. Yuzuki was kind, liked her very much... and even only had eyes for her... Yuzuki would never let her torture herself like this.

But she insisted on doing it, on doing what Yuzuki didn't want her to do, and on saying what Yuzuki didn't want to hear.

Because she wanted Yuzuki to leave her.

Because she both feared and longed for the warm sunshine.

But it's okay, I succeeded, didn't I? Yuzuki is now completely gone from me…

Ha ha…

Why, why can't I laugh?

Why do I feel so sad?

No, haven't we always wanted Yuzuki to do this?

Lixi gently stroked the teeth marks on her neck.

Even now, she can almost see the despair in Yuzuki's eyes that day, and feel her warm teeth and tongue touching her skin, yet she can't bear to bite her.

I like you.

I like you so much... Yuzuki...

But I... am just a useless person who can't do anything right, yet still wants to prove myself to everyone.

"Lixi-chan? Don't do that... it will make me sad if I see it."

The end of the month...?

She knew it was her imagination, but she still... raised her head.

Yes, the seat next to me was empty, and the entire classroom was empty.

Looks like school's over...

The black-haired girl, who covered her mouth and silently wept in the empty classroom, understood Yuzuki's feelings.

Will she come?

On the day of the end of the month, she must have been just like I am now, waiting for me, waiting for me to come…

But, but even now, all the students have left the school, and the security guard is about to close the gate... and he still hasn't come.

She didn't care how ridiculous or pathetic her expression looked. Looking at the blood-red sunset outside the window, Lixi suddenly had an idea.

stay here.

How about staying here until tomorrow instead of leaving the school?

The end of the month might come tonight... after all, today isn't over yet.