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Enviable

Who can change me? Why isn't anyone here? Where am I worse than you...? I'm not sunny enough, not energetic enough.

But am I not pretty enough? I look good when I smile...

"Class monitor, you've all praised me so much I'm blushing..."

"This is the real you, what's there to be ashamed of?"

It's so real it makes me envious to the point of jealousy...

"Hey, so what's bothering you, Ya-jie? Tell me about it!"

His foxy eyes stared at her intently.

"..."

Chen Yajie opened her mouth several times, but hesitated to speak.

"Actually, it's nothing... After hearing what the class monitor said, it doesn't seem like a big deal..."

If I am really as good as the class monitor says, then it seems reasonable for Lin Mo to do what he did.

She even said she wanted to be his star or something... such misleading words... it's definitely her fault for making Lin Mo misunderstand. She'll explain it to him tomorrow...

Tell me about it~

"It's hard to say..."

"Okay~ Alright."

Hu Yu'en rolled over in a huff, "Fine, I won't say then. Looks like I'm just too incompetent..."

"The class monitor is great, but this isn't my own business... so it's hard to say."

Hu Yu'en pursed her lips, closed her eyes, and her thoughts were complicated.

You have a strong sense of principle, Ya Jie. Even though you're so weak, you're so clear-headed and have such a firm bottom line when it comes to matters concerning him...

But if you tell me, I might tell you it was all a prank, and don't be fooled.

But you won't tell me, you won't tell me anything.

All I can let you know is that Lin Mo is not as simple as you think.

Once you start thinking about that agonizing ambiguity, you'll suffer just as much as I have.

When you become as cunning as I am, when you, like me, have to consider friendship and the annoying obsession with ambiguity...

Then I'll come pick you up again and tell you that we're the same kind of people, both ignorant of that alluring ambiguity, both struggling.

You have no idea how much I wanted him to praise me again.

So you'll find out soon enough.

"Class monitor~ You're so nice~" Chen Yajie nudged her from behind, "Goodnight~"

"Good night."

...

"Lin Mo, goodnight?"

I didn't play games tonight; I just chatted on the phone with Ranjiang for ages. Unfortunately, this emotionless girl is really bad at chatting.

Lin Mo didn't want her to be too bored, so he suggested she watch cartoons while chatting with him.

This was clearly a mistake. Ranbao was getting more and more engrossed in watching cartoons, but holding the phone and listening to Shin-chan's voice on the other end, Lin Mo couldn't hold back any longer and started to feel sleepy.

Ran Bao immediately asked him if he wanted to say goodnight; the word "sleep" had been replaced by the more intimate "goodnight."

"I want to hear your voice a little longer. It's so beautiful, I love listening to it." Lin Mo rested his head on his hand, pondering. Li Qingran didn't seem much different from usual.

At least when we're alone together.

"Yes, I like your voice too..."

"It sounds nice, I love listening to it."

Ranbao, you copied my homework again! Don't try to hook me up with this anymore!

"Shin-chan! You didn't take Shiro for a walk again..." The sound of Misae scolding Shin-chan from the cartoon came through the phone again.

"Lin Mo, would you like to take me for a walk?"

"..."

Ranbao, that statement is a bit ambiguous in the cartoon. Do you want to take it back? I'll pretend I didn't hear it.

"Holding hands?"

“Hold the rope,” Li Qingran replied.

You've gone too far, Ranbao. How about being a pure love warrior?

Listen to me, don't be like Fengbao, she has lost the ability to be self-disciplined.

“Xiaobai is Xiaoxin’s family. Family members take walks together.” Li Qingran emphasized, “Taking a walk means being family.”

"Lin Mo, how many family members will I have?"

His heart skipped a beat when he heard those words.

When asked about his family members, Lin Mo dared not answer with either "how many babies he had" or "how many beautiful young girls he had."

He felt that Ran Bao was asking about the latter, but perhaps she only vaguely sensed a similar aura about Chen Yajie... so she asked that question.

The vinegar flavor, though not explicitly mentioned in the tone of voice, was pervasive and sour.

Chapter 60 Feet in Rain Boots

"Family...we're definitely closer than the two of us..."

Vague answer

Lin Mo cleared his mind, but still couldn't bring himself to have an honest conversation with her.

Ran Bao is no longer someone who can be fooled with just a few words. Even if Lin Mo explained things to her now, she's still a little girl who doesn't even understand what love is.

How could I possibly tell her that everything is like wings or something?

Li Qingran doesn't need comforting; she needs an outburst, a catharsis, but she needs to actively find an outlet for that catharsis herself.

It could be tomorrow, it could be the day after tomorrow, it could be graduation.

We can only take it slowly.

"Um..."

Li Qingran remained silent, with only the sound of the animated film playing like a narration.

"Bear-shaped cookies~ Chocolate cookies~"

"Action Kamen! Beep beep beep beep..."

"A family should be happy together!"

"..."

The cartoon was turned off, and the receiver emitted a mournful static sound. The girl seemed to collapse onto the bed with a thud; the sound alone conveyed a sense of helplessness.

"Lin Mo, I don't know."

"I'm sleepy."

She said two sentences in a row, then suppressed all her worries.

The desire to confide was merely the beginning; the courage to continue questioning was lost.

She feared that her questioning would become a burden to Lin Mo, especially since she had made the promise first; she wanted to make Lin Mo happy, to prevent Lin Mo from suffering, to keep Lin Mo from feeling tired...

But this made her unhappy. She didn't know if Lin Mo was happy, nor did she understand what lay beyond family, or why things were so strange between family members.

Shin-chan is clearly happy, Hiroshi is clearly happy, and Misae is clearly happy...

How strange, she felt so strange. She felt this was wrong, this wouldn't do, what would happen...?

What would happen? She didn't know. The cartoons didn't say, she hadn't seen it in fairy tales, and her textbooks only contained formulas. No one had told her whether there should be other girls in a family... Lin Mo wouldn't tell her either.

She only had a vague feeling that Ya Jie would probably be similar to her, just like her...

Becoming an adult is so difficult.

The anticipation for the future has lessened, replaced by greater anxiety.

But since Lin Mo didn't say he was unhappy, she shouldn't ask.

As long as Lin Mo is happy, that's enough. It's good to see him every day...

She should belong to Lin Mo; Lin Mo shouldn't belong to her.

Li Qingran turned on her phone's camera and forced a smile at Lin Mo.

Good night, and good morning tomorrow.

Goodnight, Ranbao.

The call ended.

This was her little scheme; she wanted Lin Mo to fall asleep remembering her face, to dream of her all night long.

Because sleeping will take away his day.

At night, she was obsessed with everything about Lin Mo; she was extremely greedy.

The girl lay on her side, hugging a doll. The blankets barely covered her lower abdomen, and large expanses of her porcelain-white skin touched the breeze seeping through the crack in the door.

If Lin Mo were here, he would definitely make sure she got dressed.

But she slept alone and felt very lonely.

The wind was much like Lin Mo; it came so fast, bursting into her tattered world in a flash.

Being caressed by the wind felt like Lin Mo gently stroking her; without clothes to obstruct the way, they were intimately intertwined without any restraint.

The wind is violent when it's strong, and gentle when it's weak.

The girl stroked the dog's head and unconsciously moved closer.

She pursed her pink lips slightly and gently touched the mouth of the puppy toy. Ever since the day before yesterday, she and Lin Mo had been kissing the puppy like this every time they said goodnight.

For her, this was probably a kind of practice, with the hope that it could become a reality someday.

With more practice, Li Qingran couldn't help but have a thought...

If Lin Mo were a doll, I could be held in her arms like this without any problem, kissed and hugged however she wanted...

Of course not.

Just hearing his goodnight before bed and his good morning when I wake up is such a happy thing, so very happy.

She couldn't bring herself to indulge her greed...

That's all we can do. Let the wind rage and blow away our greed, leaving our tenderness and affection for the first time we say good morning to him tomorrow.

...

"Good morning~"

Jiang Wanfeng got up very early today and barged straight into Lin Mo's room, blushing as she knelt down next to his pillow.

Her expression wasn't exactly one of disgust, but with her cute little tiger teeth showing, she was probably still quite reluctant to gently wake Lin Mo up.

"Fuck."

Lin Mo woke up with a start, his ears itchy. He was fantasizing again, imagining Feng Bao turning into a delicate little maid.

He opened his eyes and saw it was still that awful childhood sweetheart, yelling at him to get up in a high-pitched voice, pouting with a face that begged him to punch her.

"Jiang Wanfeng, what are you doing?"

"Hmph, you haven't gone to school with me for two days."

Jiang Wanfeng raised her chin arrogantly, and from Lin Mo's angle looking up, he could see her alluring, snow-white neck.

He's probably fantasizing about pulling back the covers when he's not looking...