They are still close to me today despite their negative feelings

"You've already broken up with him, and you're still here pressuring Qingxue? Are you even a man?!"

Upon hearing these words, Ma Hang deflated like a punctured balloon. The burly man, standing at 1.8 meters tall, slumped onto the sofa, looking utterly dejected.

"What did he mean by saying that?"

"...You, you really think we've broken up?"

His eyes were like those of an abandoned dog, filled with disbelief and despair.

"It's not just my opinion. We've really broken up."

Ling Qingxue said softly.

"I'm sorry, Ma Hang. You're a very good person. And I really liked you once."

"However, it is indeed no longer appropriate for us now."

"And please don't treat Ning Ruoyu so rudely. He's been by my side all this time—at least for me right now, he's more important than you!"

As Ling Qingxue said this, her eyes welled up with tears.

……

Ma Hang left.

This burly man stumbled back as if he were drunk, and from a distance he looked hunched over, not at all like the once spirited basketball team captain.

So, dating is a fucking scourge.

I've actually seen him like this many times. I sometimes get this feeling when customers leave the store—many of them are my customers.

Now, as an outsider, I somewhat understand why the store manager once jokingly said I would be punished.

"Thank you, Ning Ruoyu. If it weren't for you, I might not have had the courage to confess my feelings tonight." Ling Qingxue's eyes were still red as she sat close to me.

"Thanks to you, I have the courage—you will always be by my side from now on, right?"

She said it like a devil's whisper.

Considering her sincere remarks just now, and the atmosphere here...

In this situation, I feel that if I don't say "yes," I'm not a real man.

I am young and vigorous.

“Ling Qingxue! Ma Hang told me… Hey? Ning Ruoyu? What are you doing here too?”

I have insufficient Qi and blood.

At the door, An Yu waved in this direction, then looked puzzled.

Beside me, Ling Qingxue's smile became even brighter.

[Next chapter preview: I got confessed to by another boy.]

How disgusting, how nauseating, it's filthy filth.

But who's going to give you bodies, you idiots?

I still don't realize that I've ever liked anyone.

Interlude: An angelic smile on a devil's face

[February 15, 20**, Sunny]

Today is New Year's Day!

My mom said she's going to introduce me to two people.

Mom said that from today onwards, our lives will undergo a huge change.

I asked my mom, "Does that mean we won't have to see those people's uncomfortable looks anymore during the New Year?"

I don't like those aunties and uncles. When they eat during the New Year, they always say hurtful things with a seemingly kind but actually cold look in their eyes.

The uncles' and aunts' eyes weren't cold, but they were even more terrifying. The way they looked at my mother felt like a big bad wolf eyeing a little white rabbit—hot, sticky, and disgusting.

My mother didn't answer; she hugged me and started crying. I knew I had said the wrong thing.

I laughed and said I was just joking, and that I was really looking forward to tomorrow. My mother finally breathed a sigh of relief.

...It turns out that you can't just casually talk about what other people think.

October 25, 20**, Sunny

...I got confessed to by another boy.

Looking at that person's nervous yet expectant expression, I couldn't understand it.

Some people, who have just entered junior high school, say they like each other just because they've been in the same class for a while.

Ultimately, what does it feel like to like this emotion?

[May 3, 20**, Cloudy]

My friend asked me to check what the guy she met online looks like.

Although I couldn't understand the act of developing feelings for someone just by looking at a screen, I still agreed.

However, she specifically emphasized this to me.

"Ling Qingxue, you can just peek secretly, but please don't show your face—you're too beautiful, I'm afraid the other person will fall for you."

"After all, so many people at school have already confessed their feelings to you!"

Am I pretty? I never know. Every time I look in the mirror.

From childhood to adulthood, I have always been observant of people's expressions and paid special attention to their eyes.

I hate the look in my eyes.

Unlike that cheerful guy, my eyes make me uncomfortable.

Is a girl with such a gloomy and numb look considered pretty?

...If judging whether something is good or not is simply based on the number of people who confess their feelings to it, then perhaps...

Or perhaps it's just because I appear to be prey they can use to show off and hunt?

I might really be a little abnormal.

—That boy, it seems, was the one who confessed his feelings to me when he first started junior high school.

[August 5, 20**, Rain]

That friend and that guy are together now.

As if he had forgotten me, the boy tried his best to ignore my presence every time he saw me.

But I could still notice that his gaze was longingly drifting towards my thighs and chest.

I don't know why, but seeing that look of desperate restraint in my eyes made me feel a little hot.

We came back from the mall together today, and my friend left first. We shared an umbrella.

I deliberately pressed my body against him and gently rubbed my body against his arm.

—That expression of him desperately trying to look serious was really amusing.

[November 19, 20**, Sunny]

When my friend came looking for that guy, we quickly separated.

Afraid of being discovered by her friends, yet yearning to be touched by me. That look in her eyes is truly heartwarming.

But no, kissing or anything like that.

You're so dirty!

I just like the look of unrequited love on your face.

Looking at her friend's eyes full of love and the boy's lustful gaze.

I don't think I'll be bored tonight even if I'm alone in my room.

[March 16, 20**, Cloudy]

Awesome.

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!

My friend broke up with that guy. When he told her he had someone else he liked, the look in my friend's eyes—the look of someone watching the thing they loved betray them and shatter.

Ah~~

I almost didn't even make it to the restroom!

I want it so badly, I want so much more~ so much more and more~?

I must be crazy.

But it doesn't matter if I go crazy~

I want that look of despair in their eyes. As long as I can see that look, I don't care what else matters.

[March 17, 20**, Sunny]

Not at all.

I no longer have that feeling with that boy.

When I saw the look in his eyes that showed he loved me with all his heart.

How disgusting, how nauseating, it's filthy filth.

When he said that we could finally be together openly and that we could finally kiss.

I really can't take it anymore.

Disgusting guy. That disgusting look of pure bliss.

vomit.

I left.

[June 3, 20**, Sunny]

From then on, I had a lot of fun for the remaining two years of junior high school.

Seeing those boys struggling because more beautiful girls like them, either succumbing to temptation or running away from it all—those expressions are really delicious.

Especially those honest guys who are dating for the first time—they're so interesting.

Whether it's the patience to reject someone after flirting, the stubbornness to break up with your partner, or the resentment of wanting to take things further after a breakup only to be pushed away by me.

—And finally, in the end, I saw the despair of seeing me intimate with another boy.

Ah, it's so great to be a student at this school!

But who's going to give you bodies, you idiots?

Whether it's the mouth, the chest, or... I don't want to get dirty.

All you need to do is show a passionate, immoral, desperate, and heartbroken look in your eyes.

All I need is this.

If you keep your whole body intact, you can get a better price in the marriage market later, right? You horny monkey who doesn't even know this much is incredibly stupid.

[December 10, 20**, Rain]

High school was more boring than I had imagined.

The things coming from Lucheng, with their tiers and rankings, are utterly disgusting.

A fool who only knows how to eat, a stutterer who only knows how to tinker with a broken instrument, and a fierce tomboy.

These three guys actually became part of the first tier? Are they blind? Or are their brains all stuck in holes like bananas?

...There were some interesting things too.

There's a monkey on campus who makes no attempt to hide his desires; he's foolish and arrogant. While playing with him isn't very interesting, I don't dislike his lustful gaze.

Let's play with this one for now until more interesting toys come along!

[January 3, 20**, Sunny]