Toyokawa Shoko doesn't want to become a witch

I must have disappointed Xiaoxiang.

"—What happened to the lamp just now?"

Ai Yin ran to Deng's side, took her hand, and looked solemnly into Deng's eyes.

"Has something unexpected happened?"

"Maybe I saw it wrong."

The lamp shook its head.

"It would be better to hurry up and go to the abandoned amusement park; Lixi is probably already waiting there."

"That's true, we'd better speed things up a bit."

Su Shi also came back, arms crossed over her chest, highlighting her beautiful figure that was completely unlike that of a first-year high school girl.

Unusually, her smile wasn't her usual flawless one; she seemed somewhat helpless.

"Yeah." Deng nodded.

The group turned around and slowly disappeared into the distance at the end of the street.

===========

Xiangzi huddled behind the mailbox, sweating profusely, his heart pounding.

If she were recognized by the lights here... would she be able to maintain a normal mindset? Of course not, there's absolutely no way she could.

"That was close..."

Xiangzi wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.

She sensed something was wrong the moment she saw the light and stopped walking, so she immediately found the nearest cover to hide.

As she heard the footsteps of the lamp getting closer and closer, her heart began to beat faster and faster.

Just now, the lamp was less than five meters away from her. She moved a few steps to hide in the lamp's blind spot.

Deng's intuition was so sharp that even though Xiangzi had already anticipated finding a place to hide, Deng made eye contact with Xiangzi for a fleeting moment.

His amber gaze pierced through the tens of meters, completely breaching Xiangzi's carefully laid defenses.

In her heart and mind, all the memories of "Gao Songdeng" appeared before Xiangzi's eyes like keywords entered into a search engine, playing out the memories despite her resistance.

First and foremost, there was the rain, the mud, the broken cell phones, the pine forest, and those clown-like, absurd one-man shows.

Xiangzi's pupils contracted and then dilated in an instant. She was panting, her head was down, and her emotions gradually calmed down, but at the same time, she slowly sank down.

That was a reaction to PTSD. For Xiangzi, the lamp was a nightmare, but it was more than just a nightmare.

"This is really bad luck."

This phrase seems to have recently become Xiangzi's catchphrase.

She sighed and stood up, using the mailbox as a support.

He didn’t know how long it took to calm himself down. The moment Xiangzi stood up, he experienced a bout of orthostatic hypotension. His vision went black, and his legs felt numb. He had never felt the sensation of blood flowing through his veins so clearly before. Xiangzi could almost see the blood rushing between his veins.

With one hand covering his eyes and the other supporting himself on the mailbox, Xiangzi stood there for a while to catch his breath before limping along the path the lamp had taken.

Their destination was the same—the tram station.

Avoiding the lights is actually quite easy.

Along the way, Xiangzi thought many times that she could simply find a place to sit for a while to avoid it. Even earlier, she could have stayed at school and gone back to touch the school's piano before the club activities started, thus avoiding the time difference. Or she could have walked directly to the next tram stop, thus avoiding the space difference.

Xiangzi had countless ways to avoid running into them, but his legs still inexplicably followed them.

The distance between the two sides was maintained at a level where Xiangzi could see the light but also find cover in time, a distance that was neither too close nor too far.

Xiangzi couldn't understand why he was acting crazy.

She hadn't seen a lamp in so long, the kind of light that makes you look at someone intently.

She simply wanted to look at the lights more, even just her back view, so that her mind wouldn't be filled with those terrible, self-deceiving memories.

Are all self-deceiving memories really that bad?

Xiangzi thought of something else.

Ultimately, what does the name "Gao Song Deng" mean to him?

It is God, it is light.

This is the most fitting adjective Xiangzi could think of.

The lamp once became the light that illuminated the whole world when Xiangzi was in his most desperate moment.

When the world was shrouded in darkness, the first ray of light shining in from outside was the most important thing to Xiangzi.

But that light was fake; she wasn't the real Takamatsu Teng, but a figment of her imagination.

Born from Xiangzi's fantasy, the lamp is gentle, brave, generous, and almost perfect. It is the one Xiangzi most longed for, the tall pine lamp that bravely sings out their innermost feelings.

Xiangzi once thought that a lamp should be this kind of person.

That's why she tried so hard to persuade Deng to form Crychic, to help Deng overcome her fear of expressing herself, and to tell her to keep her wishes to herself and make them when the time is right.

That's why she liked the lamp that sang loudly at the celebration party-style live performance.

So dazzling, like the stars in the sky.

The lamp on the stage was the real lamp that Xiangzi always believed in.

Xiangzi believed that the lamp could gradually take off the stage, revealing its charm that could only be displayed on stage, and become part of the meaning behind the name "Gaosong Lamp".

Xiangzi had this expectation, and he nurtured this expectation into...

If only it had been a real lamp that caught up with us that day.

But the truth is, on that rainy afternoon, Deng didn't chase after Xiangzi to stop her. She was still immersed in her own world, and everyone was immersed in their own world for a long time, including Xiangzi, especially Xiangzi.

Therefore, it was all just my own fantasy.

Xiangzi knew she couldn't blame her fantasies on the lamp, but the contrast between the two lamps was too stark for her. She had to admit that she wanted to see the lamp of her fantasies more than the one she was now leaving with Aine and Suze...

But, but.

Xiangzi stopped and closed his eyes.

She found that she had no way to distinguish the two lights.

The lamp that Xiangzi rescued on the bridge; the lamp that took Xiangzi home and showed her his treasured bandage; the lamp that bravely conveyed his inner cry on stage for the first time; the lamp that chased after Xiangzi on that rainy day to stop him from leaving; the lamp that stayed with Xiangzi when she was at her most vulnerable; the lamp that insisted on dragging him to see Morfonica's performance...

They must be one person.

Xiangzi thought of it.

She felt her feet were less numb, so she quickened her pace.

A lamp is just a lamp; to Xiangzi, there is no difference. They are all things of the past.

Everything is in the past, and it's impossible to go back to the way things were.

She had things she needed to figure out, and she had decided to be ruthless.

We must forget them all.

If you've promised to forget, then don't dwell on it anymore. Just like that accidental killing that day, that church incident—the past is the past.

My weakness should have been buried six feet deep long ago.

Now, even if I floor the gas pedal, I'll still charge straight ahead.

A slender figure moved through the crowd, across streets, past traffic lights, across station platforms, across train carriages, across the platform of the destination station, past traffic lights with different backgrounds, and across different streets.

Finally, Xiangzi stopped at the entrance of CiRCLE.

It was clear that Wakaba Mutsu had been waiting for a long time.

"Whatever Xiang plans to do, I will agree."

Before he could even speak, Mu spoke first.

"Once you start, there's no turning back."

“I know,” Mu said softly. “I’ve always known, because…”

"Xiang feels like he's about to break down."

The Tale of Nirvana: Staying True to One's Heart: Chapter 111, Wakaba Mutsumi: By Your Side (Part 2)

From a young age, Ruoye Mu was praised by her relatives and friends for being an obedient and well-behaved child.

My mother has always been very proud of this.

My mother said that when she first started learning piano, the girl next door, Toyokawa, cried and made a fuss, but our little Mu was the best-behaved. She could do everything the teacher asked her to do perfectly.

It was the same when she was learning ballet. Other girls would cry when their toes hurt, but Xiao Mu was very strong. She would grit her teeth and not say a word, which her mother could see clearly.

So Mu never cries or makes a fuss; she does whatever her parents tell her to do.

She became the "other people's child" in everyone's eyes.

On the other hand, the neighbor's child, Xiangzi, didn't have such a good reputation back then.

In that villa district where the wealthy lived, Xiangzi was a notorious troublemaker. Despite being a young lady from a wealthy family, she would run out of the house all day, leading a large group of children to wander around and play, returning home covered in dirt.

It is said that one year, this family went on vacation to Ryukyu. The eldest daughter of the family went missing for a whole day. When they were finally found, they discovered that she had run into the forest to look at the stars with the daughter of the fisherman who hosted them. The one leading the way was the eldest daughter herself.

This story spread throughout the social circle of wealthy women; Mu heard it from her mother when she was chatting.

She had also seen it with her own eyes from her upstairs window: blue hair swaying in the air like jellyfish, followed by a group of small jellyfish of various colors, walking past Mu's door.

It was Halloween, and the little jellyfish, dressed in bizarre costumes, knocked on Mu's door.

"trick or treat!"

Xiao Xiao Xiang reached out his hand to Sen Mina, who opened the door.

"Trick or treat!"

The children behind Xiao Xiaoxiang also raised their hands.

Superstar Senmina smiled knowingly and took out the candy she had prepared beforehand, placing it into the candy basket in Xiao Xiaoxiang's hand.

Xiao Xiaoxiang looked up and met the gaze of Xiao Xiaomu, who was peeking out of the window.

It was well past bedtime at home, and Mu should be in bed right now. She didn't know why she was sticking her head out to look at Xiangzi.

Sparks flew between their gazes in the air.

Xiangzi probably saw something in Mu's eyes, lowered his head, and said to Mori Minami, who was blocking the doorway:

"Auntie, can I invite Mu to come out and play together?"

Mori Minami's expression immediately changed, turning into that of a greenish cucumber.

"Xiao Mu has an extracurricular class tomorrow morning, so she should go to bed early and not disturb her."

"But......"

"There are no 'buts,' just go and have fun."

And so, Xiao Xiaoxiang was turned away.

Looking at the distant figures of the little jellyfish, Xiao Mu felt a little empty inside for the first time. But just as her empty heart was about to drift off to sleep, Mu discovered that someone was knocking on her window.

knock knock.

Mu opened her eyes, rubbed the corners of her eyes, and walked to the window.

"Hey, Xiao Mu."

Mu couldn't believe what she was seeing.

The huge full moon was mostly occupied by a figure. Xiangzi was hanging outside the window, standing on a ladder held up by several children. His chubby face was beaming with an unrestrained smile.

That figure is still deeply etched in Mu's heart.

"Want to celebrate Halloween with us?"

......

As children get older, being well-behaved is no longer a sufficient criterion for judging them.