Nobita's Time Heist

Chapter 220: I think it's a meeting of radishes.

"I said it a long time ago, I knew it was a stupid thing to do, so why did I keep pushing myself to do it? Isn't this just digging my own grave?!"

“When we accepted the surrender of those two thousand Han people, there was no turning back! The emperor of the Han Dynasty always wanted to destroy us, but he just hadn’t found an opportunity. Once he had an excuse, he would pounce on us without hesitation. Like sheep chewing grass, he would devour us.”

"The Han Dynasty has fallen, and the current emperor is the new emperor."

"That's still the same! He hasn't fought any wars since becoming emperor, and he hasn't lost a single soldier. I heard that he's brought in a full 300,000 troops this time, specifically to wipe us out. It would have been fine before, but now that we've occupied Shuofang County, they're definitely going to fight us to the death! Think about it, everyone, what happened to us last time we provoked the people of the Central Plains?!"

"We were chased all the way to our ancestral mountain, almost leading to the extermination of our clan! Have you all forgotten all of this?"

"Last time, with only eight hundred people, our clan was almost wiped out. This time... they've mobilized one hundred thousand people in one go. How are we supposed to deal with that?"

The hero of one race is often the devil of another.

The Marquis of Champion, a figure seemingly descended from heaven, rendered great service to the Han Dynasty, but also became a nightmare in the eyes of the Xiongnu. The mere mention of his name would instantly silence the cries of children.

Adding to this, this guy had an exceptionally short lifespan; he crippled the Xiongnu and died just a few years later, as if he had come to earth with this mission. Such a legendary figure made the Xiongnu, who revered military might, both respect and fear him. It was probably thanks to his impressive military achievements that peace was maintained on the border for a hundred years.

A century has passed, and times have changed, but his name and its awe-inspiring power remain. Most tribal leaders opposed the idea of ​​opposing the ancient empire of the Central Plains. But now, it's too late for regrets. You've captured the city, and they're determined to fight you to the death. Before their army is fully assembled, you'd better think about what to do next!

"We must not confront them head-on. Before the Xin Dynasty's army arrives, we need to plunder this place as much as possible! This time, we will not take any gold or silver treasures. Instead, we should take as many pots, pans, and other utensils as we cannot make. Once everything is ready, we will immediately withdraw from Shuofang County, return to the grasslands we are familiar with, pack our belongings, and migrate again."

"After this uproar, the new dynasty will certainly not provide us with the opportunity to trade again... Therefore, we must collect all these daily utensils on this trip."

"The Han people's battle formations are too strong, but they are not as flexible as ours. If we are determined to flee deep into the grasslands, we should have time. In order to avoid being retaliated against by the new dynasty, we must stay away from the Central Plains for the next three to fifty years, until time diminishes the impact of this matter. This is the best strategy to preserve our entire race and all of us!"

History is like a constant cycle. Although times and technologies differ, human nature remains largely the same. When faced with similar choices, people often make remarkably similar decisions.

To the Xiongnu at present, the Han people are like the Trisolarans. They possess super-high technology that the Xiongnu cannot comprehend—absolute discipline. This discipline allows the Han army to form well-trained strategic groups, charging forward in one fell swoop, directly scattering the Xiongnu who were fighting individually, leaving them with no way to break through.

One trick is fresh, eat all over the sky.

Even after a century, the Xiongnu still hadn't found a solution to this tactic. Their loose tribal organization meant they were destined to be unable to train an army that could rival the Han cavalry. These tribes might occasionally unite because of a person or event, but this unity was never sustainable; once that person or event was over, they would fall apart again.

Therefore, escapism gained the upper hand.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

After everyone had finished expressing their opinions, Wu Zhuliu slowly stood up. In fact, considering his age, his physical condition had passed its peak and was beginning to decline. However, the muscular physique he had developed in his youth, the animal skin coat draped over his shoulders, and the gleaming white necklace of animal teeth around his thick neck still gave him a rather dignified appearance.

"That man and that army from a hundred years ago are long gone. They lie buried underground like our ancestors. Now, we are facing a completely different enemy."

Wu Zhuliu peered over one by one, and those he forced to look into either lowered their heads or looked away.

“Three hundred thousand…that sounds daunting, but just imagine how enormous such a massive force would be, consuming an astonishing amount of military supplies and provisions. If they were to wage war against us, every day the battlefield remained deadlocked would mean another day of wasted resources. In the long run, they would be the first to give out.”

"Are you still planning to drag this out indefinitely? Do we have the resources?" a strategist advocating for exile immediately spoke up. "Even if we gathered all the steppe men over fifteen years old who could ride horses and shoot arrows, we wouldn't have eight thousand men. Besides, not all tribes are willing to die with us."

"The best course of action is to grab some loot and run before the main army arrives."

"Yeah yeah!"

……

Compared to centralized power, the Xiongnu primarily operated on a system of independent warfare. Although Wuzhuliu was known as the "Chanyu," the attitude of his tribes towards him was far less respectful than that of subjects towards the emperor in the Central Plains. He even had to shout angrily to barely quell the chattering discussions.

"Enough! Stop making a racket! Before I came here, I thought you were men of the grasslands, but now I see... you're not even as good as women who guard the house!"

Uzhuliu slammed his hand on the mahogany table that he had stolen from someone's house and roared, "Did I say I wanted a head-on war? You brainless idiots, let me finish what I have to say!"

Dissatisfied voices still rose from the crowd: "If two armies are facing each other, how can they not engage in direct combat?"

"Compared to them, we are faster and more agile. Although we are short-handed, we don't need to engage them in direct combat. We can simply advance along the border and harass the enemy. Just like now... we have occupied Shuofang County. We will first seize their food, clothing, and shelter, and then run away. After a while, we will come back and make sure they are at our disposal. They will be exhausted from running around, but they will gain nothing!"

"It would be a tremendous challenge to command an army of 300,000 men. Our small numbers, however, make us perfect for a lightly armed raid. Once their supplies run out, they'll be forced to retreat in disgrace. At that point, won't the many counties to the north become our playground?"

A strategy that sounds easy often requires a series of intricate tactics to execute.

Using the northern border as a dividing line, they waged guerrilla warfare with rapid advances and retreats, never striking the vital points but effectively harassing the enemy. Relying on the advantage of fast horses, they wore down the enemy's logistics, thus winning the battle without a fight.

But... if there's just one mistake, or if any link in the chain goes wrong, it's all over.

Most of the Xiongnu tribes were still observing. With their current manpower, if Wuzhuliu and the new army encountered each other even once and failed to escape in time, they would basically be crushed. This was a battle with no room for error, a battle fraught with both risk and difficulty.

Not all of his subordinates were fools, and naturally some of them raised the same question, only to be met with a sneer from Wuzhuliu.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

"A dog that bites won't bark at you before it opens its mouth; it will just bite silently."

He narrowed his eyes and sneered, "Just you wait and see."

"That new emperor is a complete incompetent fool who can't do anything right!"

Chapter 221: Bite Hard!

Wuzhuliu had already seen through Wang Mang's true nature. Even though the two were thousands of miles apart and he didn't even know whether the other was fat or thin, he still dared to make this judgment.

Weapons will rust if they are not sharpened, and the same principle applies to armies. The armies of the Central Plains have been inactive for a hundred years and have not engaged in any large-scale wars. It is impossible for them to possess the invincible fighting power they once had.

Not long ago, news of Wang Mang's usurpation of the Han throne reached his ears along with the biting north wind.

People from the Central Plains have always been very particular about what they say. This new emperor's empire was "usurped," not conquered. Whether a sword rusted for a hundred years can still kill is questionable.

Wang Mang himself realized this, and his mobilization of 300,000 troops in one fell swoop, displaying a show of no return, was a sign of his insecurity. Like a fierce-looking but cowardly wild dog barking incessantly at an opponent it is not confident in, it attempts to intimidate the opponent with its sheer force and make them submit.

Unfortunately, this tactic proved remarkably effective against the Xiongnu, who were already terrified of defeat. Even when the Chanyu (Xiongnu ruler) rallied his troops, only a little over a thousand men followed. Subtracting the elderly, women, and children, only a few hundred were truly capable fighters. They could easily capture Shuofang County, but any further advance made them hesitant. While they understood Wang Mang's true nature, from a tactical perspective, this was akin to dancing on a knife's edge; one wrong move and they would face total annihilation.

……

The conference concluded, and after a morning of heated debate, nothing was accomplished to finalize the operational strategy. However, a consensus was reached: after securing this victory, the immediate retreat to the grasslands was necessary. Whether further military action would be taken depended entirely on subsequent developments.

In the unattended yurt, Ujuliu no longer needed to keep his eyes wide open to intimidate the tribal chief. He let out a long sigh, turned around, and seemed to have shrunk in size. A cold wind blew outside; no matter how advanced the tent technology of this era, it was still drafty. He rubbed his hands together, paced around, and warmed the backs of his hands over the campfire.

The flames flickered and crackled, and the sparks were blown away by the wind, which made him feel somewhat uneasy.

“Wang Mang… ha… Wang Mang, you have gone too far. Even when the Han Dynasty was so powerful, it never did such a thing to us.”

Recalling that day, humiliation, like a small snake, burrowed into his veins. As a human being, a man of the grasslands, he couldn't understand why everyone was willing to swallow this humiliation. As he thought about it, he unconsciously clenched his fists, wishing he could punch that rough, old face.

……

Just then, a noticeably unusual gust of wind entered the tent, instantly alerting the old hunter from the grasslands.

"who?!"

Almost instantly, his seemingly massive body unleashed tremendous explosive power. Wu Zhuliu drew his short dagger, his arm straightening. The hilt of this dagger was carved from flesh and bone, having been with him since childhood. He had honed his throwing knife skills to such an extent that he could accurately pierce a rabbit's skull with a single throw from horseback. However, this time, just as his body turned around, his feet suddenly seemed nailed to the ground, unable to move, and his upper body remained stuck in place.

"Don't be so nervous... We don't intend to kill you, but don't shout." Da Xiong, having removed his [Invisibility Cloak], was now holding the [Stopping Machine]. Just to be safe, he first went around to Wu Zhuliu's back and took the dagger from his hand—after all, this machine only controlled the lower body, and if he went to the front and someone threw a knife at him, it would be a loss.

"They said your name is 'Shanyu', right?" Da Xiong, unaware of the situation, thought it was a person's name. "I came here today because I want to talk to you."

"I have nothing to discuss with sorcerers." Wu Zhuliu was quite defiant, turning his head away. "If you want my blood, take it!"

Da Xiong was quite surprised to find such an unyielding person; the courage of the Hun leader far exceeded his expectations. For the purpose of negotiation, Da Xiong deliberately chose the "Stopping Machine," a tool that could have a huge deterrent effect on ancient people.

Their legs, which were perfectly fine before, suddenly became immobile, as if detached from their bodies and becoming an independent part of them. Even a modern person would be terrified by such an experience. They assumed the Xiongnu king would worship them like gods, making things much easier afterward—simply a matter of coaxing and deceiving him into withdrawing his troops.

Unexpectedly, this fellow turned out to be a cynic who cursed and complained. The overly supernatural power had the opposite effect on him.

So, what to do next?

……

"Why?" Before Nobita could come up with a suitable and appropriate solution, Shizuka, moved by what she had seen and heard along the way, spoke first, "You and the Han people have been living in peace for almost a hundred years. These hundred years should be the hundred years with the most abundant resources and food for you, right? This city was built to commemorate the peace between the two races! A hundred years is enough to prove that this peace can continue!"

A ruined village, a gray earth, a silent sky.

A pair of hands hanging limply at his sides.

The stench of death pressed down on the young girl's heart, growing heavier and heavier until it almost suffocated her. Her human compassion brought tears to her eyes, and she cried out, "Why did you start this war?"

……

"Heh..." Wuzhuliu scoffed, "Going through life and death together, and you even brought your woman along?"

“She’s not my woman.” Da Xiong walked up to him, looked up, and stared calmly at the beast-like man. “Entering this tent isn’t exactly a matter of life and death. Everyone outside this tent is fast asleep. No matter what happens, they won’t wake up.”

“But you didn’t kill me.” Wu Zhuliu shook her head confidently, her gaze sweeping over the glasses perched on Da Xiong’s nose, a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

"Not yet." Nobita pulled out the "Integrity Tape" from his pocket. "If you don't want to answer her, I can help you."

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

"You Central Plains people always have this kind of pity that I can't understand... Isn't it tiring to live like this? Hmm?" Wuzhuliu sneered, his eyes lowered, his jaw muscles visibly tensing, and anger immediately rose to his eyebrows. "Go ask your emperor!"

"Wait a minute." Asur sensed something was wrong. "You mean, Wang Mang struck first?"

"However, the intelligence we received is that you did not agree to submit to the new dynasty, and instead launched a rebellion, occupying Shuofang County. Only then did the new dynasty send troops..."

"Quite a few women, huh?" Ujuru seemed to have assumed the relationship between Da Xiong and the two girls, making a sarcastic remark before coldly adding, "Kid, have you ever been beaten up since you were a kid?"

This question came to the right person! In just ten seconds, Nobita recalled all his grudges with Gian and Suneo, essentially reviewing over a thousand episodes of Doraemon. He suddenly realized that these two had probably beaten him up more times than he remembered. Was it because they always seemed to be at a loss for how to proceed or introduce new gadgets?

"Of course you've been beaten up. You look like you deserve to be punched."

"If that person beats you up every day, that's not all. One day, he pees on you..."

"Would you bite off his thing while he's taking off his pants?"

Chapter 222: Submission to the Slave

Strictly speaking, Gian never peed on Nobita's face, but Nobita definitely did do it.

Because Shizuka casually mentioned wanting to be a flight attendant in the future, Nobita became incredibly excited and begged Doraemon to bring out an airplane so he could experience being a captain. Actually, at that time he had never been on a plane before and didn't know the specifics of being on one—at least during a flight, the captain's duties were quite demanding, and there was absolutely no time to chat with the flight attendants.

Regardless, Doraemon still brought out a flight simulator that 22nd-century kids use to play flight attendant games.

It can fly by pedaling, and although it looks a bit shabby, it can easily circle the town. Compared to the bamboo dragonfly, this gadget feels more like a bicycle, and in the futuristic world, it could be considered a fitness and weight loss product.

Interestingly, Nobita, who thought he couldn't ride a bicycle, became quite skilled once he got the hang of it. He even set up "Nobita Flying Company" on an empty lot, truly experiencing the life of a captain. However, his good fortune didn't last long. To escape his mother's pursuit, Gian suddenly hijacked the plane, staging a real aerial heist that forced Nobita to keep driving around town in circles.

However, Nobita hadn't gone to the toilet since the beginning, and eventually he was so full that his face turned red and he was seeing stars, to the point where he couldn't care less about anything else.

In a sense, the fact that he could still play with someone even after they peed on his face shows that Gian is quite magnanimous...

……

After ensuring he wouldn't make any sudden movements, Nobita released his restraints, but the muzzle of his gun, which he had instantly stuck to, remained pointed at Ujuliu. If Ujuliu made any move, Nobita's American-style Iaijutsu speed would be enough to pin him to the ground with a single shot.

Although Wuzhuliu didn't know what was in his hand, he knew it was a warning. He sneered, groped for something in the thick, warm leather coat, and angrily threw it to the ground.

Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a jade seal.

"The seal of the new Xiongnu Chanyu..." Shizuka picked up the seal, examined it for a moment, and asked, puzzled, "What's wrong with this seal?"

"North of the Great Wall is our territory. South of the Great Wall is the territory of the Central Plains emperors... This has been the agreement since ancient times."

"That old bastard broke the agreement, sending his men with a pile of dazzling gold and silver treasures, but replacing the 'Xiongnu Chanyu Seal' that the King of Han gave us with this piece of junk!"

This time, Asur was completely bewildered, not understanding the logic behind it. All they did was replace the seal; was it really worth getting so worked up, even to the point of starting a war, over a jade seal that wasn't even the size of a palm?

Having fought with the Central Plains people for a long time, the originally unrestrained Xiongnu people on the grasslands also picked up some bureaucratic airs and began to learn the ways of the Han people, although it was still only a rudimentary form, it was indeed beginning to take shape. In Han Dynasty culture, "玺" (xi) and "章" (zhang) were both seals, but they had a clear hierarchy. The jade seal represented the supreme crystallization of royal power and the imperial system. If you held a high position and possessed this material, you could legitimately plunder the people of the world.

To obtain the Imperial Seal of the State, Wang Mang was willing to break ties with his aunt. If one had to argue, there were plenty of jades available; casting a better one for the new dynasty wouldn't have been impossible. But he wanted the original. Only it had witnessed over two hundred years of legitimate rule under the Han dynasty; only by possessing it could the people of the land truly submit to this new king.

Of course, the premise is that you are the right material. In history, some people have briefly obtained the Imperial Seal, but in the end it was useless. In the right hands, it is a key to unlocking the highest power; but in the wrong hands, it is like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings, just a source of desire.

Getting back to the point, what truly angered Wuzhuliu was the imbalance between the two.

A century ago, when the Xiongnu declared their submission to the Han Dynasty, the Han emperor bestowed upon them a "Xiongnu Chanyu Seal," a seal of equal rank to the Imperial Seal of the State—both being "seals"—a testament to their sincerity. The message was: with the Great Wall as the border, north of the Great Wall, since you have yielded, we also acknowledge you, Chanyu, as the supreme ruler of the Xiongnu; from now on, let's each live in peace.

Peace is always won through war; this has been true thousands of years ago, and it will be true thousands of years from now.

The Xiongnu people, having received the imperial seal, felt they hadn't lost anything. From then on, they moved with the water and grass, recuperating and enjoying a period of peace. Later, the Han emperor designated Shuofang Commandery as a trading post for friendly exchanges between the two peoples. The Xiongnu people used sheep as currency to exchange for iron tools for daily use with the Han people, and their lives became leisurely and peaceful.

until today.

……

Knowing what Wang Mang had done, Da Xiong sighed helplessly. Having come this far, he realized that this guy had a particular desire to be everyone's father, as if he needed to trample everyone underfoot to demonstrate his greatness. This proactive provocation of the enemy's foreign policy seemed more like he couldn't wait for war to break out.

Shizuka also felt guilty, and her voice wasn't as clear as before. She could only do her last bit of effort to salvage peace, "Even so... even so, starting a war is still a bit..."

“There are others as well,” Wuzhuliu sneered. “Take a look for yourselves.”

Having said that, he pulled out a decree from his robes, almost torn to shreds, and tossed it to the crowd. Asur caught it, opened it, and after reading only a few lines, gave him a "Are you kidding me?" look. He rubbed his eyes, examined it repeatedly, especially the imperial seal at the end, before confirming that it was indeed from Wang Mang's court.

"This...this is just too absurd!" The girl shook her head in disbelief, her face filled with astonishment. "How could an emperor do such a thing?"

"What does it say?"

"They said... they wanted to change 'Xiongnu Chanyu' to 'Jiangnu Fuyu'. Simply put, it means 'surrendered slaves will forever submit'."

If his previous policies had some semblance of logic, they could be explained by the fact that he genuinely wanted to do something for the world, but his lack of experience led him to make things worse. However, at this moment, Da Xiong simply couldn't understand what that guy was thinking. Their spy robots were only capable of gathering intelligence domestically; who would have thought that even with the country riddled with problems, this guy could still cause so much trouble abroad?

The term "Xiongnu" was already not a good one, but at least it had been used for hundreds of years, and people accepted it. Now, even that is no longer acceptable! It has to be "surrendered slaves," and it has to be "submitted to." This title instantly ignited the already precarious diplomatic relations.