I want to become a Kamen Rider

"I'm rarely at school, my attendance is practically like a holiday, how would I know what happened between you and Yui Yuigahama?"

Why do you think Yuihama is like that?

"Yukinoshita can hardly be called gentle, although that child is indeed very soft-hearted."

"..."

Hikigaya was silent.

Just then, the sound of an engine, growing louder as it approached, broke the silence and pierced through the rain.

A girl riding an electric scooter appeared downstairs and stopped by the roadside outside the activity room window. The girl was wearing a bright yellow raincoat, which looked like a small bright spot in the gray rain scene.

She took off her helmet, revealing a cool and pretty face. Holding two folding umbrellas, she looked up and waved vigorously towards the window of the activity room. Contrary to her appearance, a big smile bloomed on her face, and her clear voice pierced through the rain: "Master! Master! I've come to pick you up!"

"Okay, someone's here to pick me up."

Fan Kang walked to the window and waved to the girl downstairs. The girl's smile instantly became even brighter, as if it had been illuminated.

"Your girlfriend?"

"My apprentice."

"Cleverly using the name of master and disciple."

"Whatever you say."

Fan Kang went out, leaving Hachiman alone.

He wanted to wait until the rain stopped, but a few minutes later, the door to the activity room was pushed open again.

The boy who had gone out earlier returned and took out an umbrella. Judging from its style, it should be one of the umbrellas brought by the girl who came to pick him up.

Fan Kang began to chant, recalling the quotes of Hachiman Hikigaya from his memory.

"'Saying I hate something only makes me hate my own immaturity, why I couldn't distinguish between gentleness and favoritism. So I built a high wall called hate, just to protect my wounded self. If I could, I would also want to possess the real thing, but I don't want to get hurt again. I am negative and escapist, but I still retain a sliver of idealism.'"

"you……"

"The idea that everyone helps each other, succeeds together, and is happy together is just an ideal. In reality, for every person who is happy, someone else will be abandoned; for every person who is glamorous, someone else will be covered in mud."

The man handed him the umbrella.

"I really like the way Hachiman looks when he's struggling with these things."

"Sorry, I already have a Totsuka."

"That's not what I meant. I'm glad to see that people can still be depressed and sad for half a day over things like 'she likes me but she doesn't like me,' 'I should like her but I shouldn't like her.'"

If someone else had said these words, it would have sounded sarcastic, but the young man before me spoke with envy, appreciation, gratitude, and contentment, without a trace of mockery.

"Isn't this the most awkward thing?"

The boy smiled, but for a moment he seemed to be in a daze; in Hachiman Hikigaya's eyes, he looked covered in mud.

"But I like watching this."

……

……

In the hospital corridor filled with the smell of disinfectant, Higashijima Tanzaburo leaned against the wall and took a deep breath of the long-lost air of freedom.

"Finally discharged from the hospital."

Even though it was raining outside, it didn't dampen his spirits. He had recovered long ago, but because he recovered so quickly, the hospital insisted that he stay in the hospital for observation for a while longer.

As he stretched his somewhat stiff arm, the old-fashioned cell phone in his pocket vibrated at that very moment.

"Hello?...Yeah, I just came out...Really, no need, you don't need to pick me up!"

Before the other person could say anything more, he simply pressed the hang-up button, put his phone back in his pocket, and went to the payment counter.

The people at the front of the line left one after another, and the nurse on duty was busy organizing documents.

"Hello, I'm here to settle my hospital bill, bed 17."

The nurse glanced up at him, her fingers tapping a few lines on the keyboard, the screen light reflecting on her face. "Mr. Dongdao, is that right?" she asked calmly. "Your bill has been settled."

"Is it settled?"

Higashijima Tanzaburo was clearly taken aback, his unshaven face filled with confusion, and he subconsciously touched his empty wallet.

"who……?"

"A young gentleman came to hand it in yesterday evening. His signature... uh, he wrote it a bit fast, so it's hard to read. It looks like Chinese characters, but there's no hiragana?"

"I see, foreign kid..."

Chapter 54 I Ask My Heart [5/6]

That night.

Fan Kang was dreaming.

He rarely dreams because he is always fighting, constantly fighting, endlessly fighting, so every time he falls asleep he is so exhausted that there is no room for dreams to intrude.

But things are different recently. Most of the enemies that could be wiped out have been wiped out, and those that haven't been wiped out yet are hiding in the shadows, not daring to show their faces. Just as there is natural selection in nature, there is also "empty self selection" for the many dark forces in this era that should have been a chaotic dance of demons.

Those with backbone who aspire to great things rarely see the sun rise tomorrow. Only those who truly understand the value of standing alone before the wheels of time and forcefully bringing them to a halt have a chance of survival.

Normally, he could sweep through three to seven Shocker bases a day, and on the day he fought the longest, he swept through eleven. But recently, he hasn't found a single Shocker base for several days. Thanks to the astute and pragmatic nature of those beings in the shadows, he has gained a brief respite.

So, the overpowered knight, too exhausted to think about anything else, dreamed.

He dreamed of his former self.

The background is... the thirteenth year of the Calamity Era, the day the giant beast breached the city.

The charred ruins pierced the leaden-gray sky, billowing with ominous smoke. The unburnt skeletons of the buildings resembled the bones of a colossal beast, their twisted steel bars revealing grotesque fractures. The air was thick with the acrid smell of burning, blood, and an even deeper despair. The wind whipped up the ashes, like black snow, silently settling on the cracked earth and the congealed pools of blood.

In the center of this desolate ruin stood a boy.

The boy from back then, the one he hated most—that good-for-nothing, arrogant, lazy boy—stood atop the ruins and looked at him.

Blood and tears streamed from his eyes.

Even if Mizutani Migen had put in the most effort to get close to him, he probably wouldn't see this boy as his master, but rather as someone else with a different appearance.

Because her master was never confused or doubtful; he was a hero who was, in the truest sense, invincible before the monstrous beast brought by the meteorite from outer space that destroyed everything.

But the boy in front of me is not.

Have you fulfilled your wish?

He asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"To be loved".

It's utterly ridiculous that the man who now wields unparalleled power to sweep across the world once had only one wish: to be loved, to be liked, and to be needed.

Fan Kang told him, just like reporting on his work:

"Yes, I've accomplished it. Some people love me, some admire me, some yearn for me, and some long to become me."

"Is the person they fell in love with you?"

"...This is who I am now."

The boy chuckled and shook his head.

"That's not you. You're just 'playing' a hero. Even if you're a superb hero and do a better job than the real hero, it's still not you. The real you is like me, who is afraid of fighting and doesn't want to fight. You're just a pathetic creature who craves to do nothing but be loved, cared for, and loved."

"..."

"You've never changed. You've always been afraid of fighting, dreaded fighting, and resisted fighting. Even if you keep throwing punches, even if you reach the pinnacle, you're still the same person. Don't you find it ironic that someone who's afraid of fighting gets the belt and becomes the hero who has to keep fighting and fighting forever?"

Fan Kang had no intention of retaliating.

A person can be ruthless enough to even hurt their past self, but he didn't want to do that because his past self was already pitiful enough.

He sighed, then spoke, his voice clear and deep, strong enough to pierce the wind above the ruins:

"I have averted many tragedies and saved countless people to the best of my ability. In terms of my deeds, I have a clear conscience. Even if there are occasional setbacks or misfortunes, they are the best solutions obtained after weighing various factors."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

The boy burst into laughter, as if he had heard the funniest joke in the world.

"Yes, when judging a person, we always judge by their deeds, not their intentions. You are indeed a hero now, a hero who has averted countless tragedies and saved countless lives. But who is standing in front of you now? It is yourself."

The boy burst into laughter.

When others judge you, they judge you by your actions. But when you judge yourself, do you not examine your own conscience?

His voice was like a poisoned dagger, stabbing viciously.

"Don't you feel sorry for yourself? Some people like you, but you can't reciprocate; some people hate you, but you can't argue with them; some people slander you, but you have to let it go and be a decent person. You have to make many sacrifices. In the end, after all you've given and worked so hard, you can't even tolerate the smallest hobby that has been magnified and fostered by others."

As he spoke, the snickers turned into roars.

"Even so, having gone this far, what have you accomplished? What have you gained? Is there really any point in continuing? Let the world be destroyed. After all, what you've lost can never be recovered. It's something that can't be made up for or salvaged by going back to the past."

He couldn't answer any of the questions posed to him, nor could he provide any response.

But he could answer only the last question.

Regarding what was gained.

"I have become a Kamen Rider."

"Congratulations, your wish has finally come true, but what's the price?"

"..."

"You knew perfectly well that if you continued down this path, you would still end up with nothing, nothing but the name of that Kamen Rider. Even if you made it to the end, you would still die... But even so, you still did it?"

Even so, I still did it.

Dreams are a continuation of reality. This dream is that day in history, the day the giant beast broke through the city, the day countless lives were lost. But, there is one difference.

He placed his hand on his waist; this was just a dream, yet the belt had appeared on his body.

That's something that only responds to the right heart.

"what are you up to?"

"fighting."

"This is just a dream."

Day after day, day after day, day after day, he fought endlessly. He did not cry when he was misunderstood. He did not cry when he was reborn and given the chance to rewrite his destiny.

When the drop of water slid down his face, his thought wasn't "I actually cried," but rather... "So, I can cry too."

The boy, tears streaming down his face, placed his hand on his waist.

This sound shattered the gloom of the nightmare, and it also shattered the last questioning of my former self:

Even if this is just a dream—!

"When the belt appeared around his waist that day, everything made sense," he said.

Even if this is just a dream, I will not allow any life to slip away before my eyes—!!

Chapter 55 Small Things [6/6]

Chiba City Fifth Park.

Under the arch of a certain overpass, the slightly chilly morning air, mixed with the smell of car exhaust, seeped in.

He woke up with tears streaming down his face, his tears wetting Cupid's tail.

Wait, Cupid?

Fan Kang opened his eyes and found that Qiu Bi was actually curled up beside him. It only looked a bit like a cat, but its behavior was just like a real cat.

Looking to the side, the suspicious white alien creature resembling a white cat with ruby ​​eyes—Kooby—was quietly lying beside him, its body curled into a perfect ball of fur, its head resting on its tail. If one could ignore the long tail and the two golden rings, it really looked like an ordinary white house cat.

It seemed as if Kyubey had "turned on" the instant he woke up; his ruby-like eyes opened, showing no trace of sleepiness.

Good morning, Kangjun.