The azure sea, but a lonely, fulfilled life.

After everyone changed into their swimming trunks, the five of them went to the deep end.

"Next, practice the most basic thing: opening your eyes underwater. Hachiman, Iori, Kohei. If you feel uncomfortable, surface immediately and don't force yourself."

After Tokita Shinji finished speaking, he took the lead by squatting down, and the others followed suit.

Hachiman took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and squatted down. He tried to slowly open his eyes, and the slight stinging sensation of the water washing over them made him blink uncomfortably, but this only made him feel worse.

However, it's not that it's impossible to persevere.

He stared into the direction of the four men, and seeing only their genitals, he silently stood up.

"call--"

Hachiman, who had just stood up, breathed a sigh of relief.

This is really uncomfortable, but it should get better after you get used to it.

"I didn't expect that you, Hachiman, would last the longest."

Ryujiro Kotobuki came to his side and handed him a pair of diving goggles.

"Try wearing this and see how long it lasts."

"Ok."

Putting on his diving goggles, Hachiman crouched down again. This time, he was completely used to opening his eyes underwater.

It's so beautiful! He could see the traces of water ripples, and the sunlight shining into the water made tiny dust particles sparkle like fireworks. Not only that, there was also a mosaic effect.

Huh? Mosaic?

Hachiman immediately stood up, numbly watching Kohei pulling up his underwear not far away. Then there was another sound of water. It was Iori. His expression was very gloomy. Hachiman understood that he and Iori were the same victims.

"I may never be able to go into the water again in my life," Kitahara Iori murmured.

Agreed.

“Hmm… then let’s do it this way.” Kotobuki Ryujiro thought for a moment and said. “You two, try taking a bath in the pool first to find a sense of familiarity with water.”

Taking a bath can increase your sense of connection with water? This is the first time I've heard of that.

The two listened to each other and leaned against the poolside, watching their two seniors train Kohei.

“Hachiman, you hate the sea,” Iori said.

“It’s not dislike, it’s fear,” Hachiman replied.

"If that's the case, why join the diving club?"

"Didn't I already say? I had no choice."

Kitahara Iori turned to the side and looked at him, asking a question.

Why are we afraid of the sea?

Why do you want to know?

Hachiman glanced at him and said casually.

"You cleaned my room, didn't you? Those slogans are so tacky," Iori said, changing the subject instead of answering.

"Those ideas were conceived by our predecessors."

"Only the last sentence, right?"

Hachiman fell silent.

Tell me, maybe I can help you in some way.

"You can't even get in the water yourself, how can you help me?"

“These two things don’t conflict,” Iori said calmly. “You’ve helped me a lot, and I want to at least repay you in some way.”

"Your seriousness is really making me a little uncomfortable." Hachiman looked at him, thought for a moment, and then slowly spoke.

“When I was very young, my parents took my sister and me to the beach. I think I was nine or ten years old at the time, and my sister was two years younger than me. I was quite playful back then, so when my mother went to buy drinks and my father wasn’t paying attention, I went into the sea by myself.”

"And then he drowned, and thus developed a fear of the sea?" Iori stated his conjecture.

Hachiman shook his head, his thoughts drifting back to that summer.

“I adapt well to the ocean. I was able to open my eyes underwater the first time I was there. At that moment, I even felt that the ocean was welcoming me.”

"If that's the case, why feel fear?"

Hachiman smiled faintly.

"But it didn't welcome my sister. Unexpectedly, she followed me into the water and drowned. When I found her, her face was pale from lack of oxygen. I could hear my parents calling anxiously from the beach, so I quickly swam to her side and supported her body as I swam upwards. But because I was too anxious, my calf cramped up. I endured the pain and brought her ashore. What awaited me was my parents' worried scolding. Of course, I could understand their feelings, but I didn't accept their scolding because, in my opinion, they were also negligent. As a result, my relationship with them has never been very good."

Hachiman looked up at the ceiling, and it made him feel much better to finally reveal the secret that had been buried for so many years.

"Because of this incident, I have always felt guilty towards my sister. As I grew older, this feeling grew stronger and stronger. I became afraid. I was terrified that something I cherished would one day leave me. And because of this, I became afraid of the ocean."

Kitahara Iori listened silently to his story, unsure of what to say. This was a heart ailment that no outsider could cure; one could only slowly find peace within oneself. But how long would that take? A year? Two years? Five years? Some people spend their entire lives unable to escape this heart ailment, so how could one possibly guess?

Chisa, who had just changed her clothes in the dressing room and walked to the pool, listened to this heavy story. She looked at Hachiman, who had a calm expression but a gloomy aura between his brows, and lowered her eyes.

So that's why he didn't want to tell her why he hated the sea.

What has he been carrying on his back all this time...?

Chapter Eighteen: Everyone's Worries

The subsequent trials for new recruits passed smoothly. Surprisingly, today was a very peaceful day. There was no drinking, no sabotage, and no laughter. It seemed like Grand Blue had changed, which made Hachiman feel a little uncomfortable.

After the two seniors finished their instruction, they left. Iori and Kohei went into the room, saying they wanted to discuss something and hoped he wouldn't disturb them for the time being. Chisa looked a little strange, her eyes holding something. After Nanaka-senpai appeared, she took Chisa's hand and led her to the back door of the shop. Nanaka-senpai, whose hand was being held, was a little excited. She almost subconsciously grabbed Chisa's hand, her expression showing a moment of infatuation. But after seeing Chisa's silent appearance, she seemed a little worried. As for the shop manager, he was still sitting at the front desk with a newspaper, waiting for customers.

Everyone else was busy with their own things, leaving him as the only one with free time.

Hachiman didn't know why, but he had a guess in his heart: was it because Iori told others about their conversation, and everyone was worried about him? Were they worried that they might accidentally touch on his painful memories?

If that's the case, then it's actually unnecessary. Suffering is an indispensable part of life, and everyone has their own psychological disabilities. The fact that he can express his feelings without any expression already shows that he doesn't need to be cared for and that he can bear it.

Perhaps he should have made this clear some time ago and used it as a reason for leaving the department.

Before the bond is formed, they are like several balls on the same table that never touch each other. Although they can see each other, they do not form any connection that can break through the barrier between them. What connects one person to another is only a thread as thin as a silkworm's silk. It doesn't even need any sharp knife; if they are a little too far apart, it will break.

But things are different now. Although he hates to admit it, he has adapted to the atmosphere of this big family. He likes these guys, even if it's just drinking and messing around with each other.

He never felt this kind of atmosphere in Chiba, perhaps because he had too few friends there.

Hachiman stood in the empty hall, looking at the row of beer bottles with different colored leather cases at the front desk. His eyes drooped, returning to their usual state. His listless eyes, which always seemed to lack any energy, moved on to Izu.

"Hikigaya-kun."

The shop manager's words were accompanied by the sound of him turning the pages of a newspaper, the back of which showed yesterday's date.

Do you have any hobbies?

He chatted with Hachiman as if they were old friends. Old people always like to tell you about profound experiences they know from seemingly ordinary things.

"Hobby?"

Hachiman's black pupils began to flicker as he pondered. He had many hobbies he enjoyed.

For example, a person might engage in a self-questioning riddle, and he enjoys examining whether his memory has declined. If it has, it means he has prematurely entered old age, and thus he has a reason not to work.

For example, he likes to listen to music while reading, but this hobby is defined as a bad thing by Yukinoshita. She believes that trying to do two things at once will lead to nothing, so he changed this hobby.

What else...?

“Do you like fishing?”

"Eh...it's alright."

Fishing? Yes, he used to have that hobby. After all, it was an easy activity; all you had to do was set up a rod and lie back in a chair.

Speaking of his hobby, it all started with Komachi. During summer vacation, he was criticized by Komachi for always staying at home, like a mushroom that could only grow in dark places. So he put on a hat, took a bucket and his dad's fishing gear, and went to a secluded riverbank. He sat on the small bank made of pebbles and fished for hours.

During those few hours, he didn't pay much attention to the fishing rod, but instead took out books or his PSP and did other things.

He knew that his catch rate was very low; sometimes he might not catch a single fish even after three days of fishing. So he wasn't worried about being interrupted while he was doing other things.

"Oh—how do you feel? Are you happy?"

"Fortunately."

He was quite happy to just pretend to stay outside for a few hours and then get praise from Komachi when he got home. It was just a pity that the time was too long and his butt was numb from sitting.

"It feels amazing when a fish takes the bait! It's like a seed that's finally sprouted after a long time," the shop manager remarked.

"...Sorry, I've never caught a fish."

Although he should have reluctantly agreed at this point to keep the conversation going, he still didn't want to lie over such a small matter.

[I would never lie, so I hope you will be just as sincere with me, Hachiman.]

"Didn't catch any fish? Did you only try for a day or two?"

"No, I persisted for a whole summer."

"Huh? This is really..."

The shop manager didn't know what to say. Was this kid just unlucky? Or were there no fish in the river area he went to? Otherwise, even if he didn't catch any big fish in a month, he should at least catch a fry, right?

"This is truly an unfortunate miracle created by God..."

"No, it was created by humans."

Hachiman shook his head, and his words made everyone who heard them want to knock him on the head to see if there was something wrong with him.

"Huh? Man-made?"

"Yes, I didn't put any bait on the hook."

The store manager tightened his grip on the newspaper, and he chuckled calmly.

What, you're cosplaying Jiang Ziya, playing the "willing to take the bait" trick, huh? You're something else. If you're like that, why are you even carrying a fishing rod? Just grab a piece of wood and go paddle in the river!

"Can I ask why?"

"It would be troublesome if we caught a fish."

Although his nickname is Penguin, and he believes he might have been a cat in his past life, he doesn't actually like eating fish because picking out the bones is a hassle. If there's fried fish for breakfast, Komachi will always pick out all the big bones first. Seriously, how can he have such an adorable little sister who's like an angel?

Komachi, Saigao.

“My family doesn’t like to eat fish, so I don’t know how to price it if I were to sell it.”

Her parents work overtime all year round and don't eat at home. Although Komachi likes to eat mackerel, she says that it is troublesome to make. If she has to make a lot of effort to eat something she only likes a little, then it is definitely worth it to eat something she likes even more.

"Fish is a wonderful thing. Whether you fry it, grill it, boil it, or eat it as sashimi, it has a unique flavor. Sea fish, in particular, are very active because they need to avoid predators and find food. In addition, living under the pressure of seawater makes their flesh firmer and more delicious."

Now we should get to the main topic, Hachiman thought. This is a popular form of dialogue, which is the rhetoric he mentioned earlier that leads to a deeper meaning from seemingly mundane everyday conversation.

"Looking at the sea from afar, it looks like an upside-down sky. There is a Chinese idiom called 'the man of Qi who worried about the sky falling down,' which tells the story of a man who was so afraid that the sky would fall down that he died of fright. But this is just a story whose truth is unknown."

The shopkeeper put down the newspaper, his kind face framed by a pair of sharp eyes that hadn't aged with time, as he looked at Hachiman.

"The ocean is beautiful, but it does indeed harbor many dangers. However, as long as we take proper precautions and learn how to live with it, we can avoid most of these dangers. In addition, we have companions who go into the sea with us to look after each other, so we can relax a little."

"……Yes."

As expected, people are still worried about me.

Chapter Nineteen: The Eyes Are the Windows to the Soul

Wandering aimlessly along the roads near Atami, Hachiman looked around at the city scenery he had been there for so long but had never really appreciated. He walked and stopped along the way, occasionally pausing for a few seconds when he encountered something new or noticed a beautiful view.

The final destination of the journey was a breakwater built mainly of stone near the beach. Hachiman gently swept away the dust accumulated by wind and rain and the fallen leaves that had drifted from somewhere, then sat down. He gazed at the sea shimmering in the sunlight in the distance, and the salty sea breeze brushed against his face. He didn't dislike this smell; it was much better than the dejected smell on his own body.

It's amazing how someone can look directly at something they're clearly afraid of.

He picked up the pebbles scattered on the embankment and threw them towards the sea with all his might. The pebbles did not skip across the water; instead, they fell into the water with a splash, creating silvery white sprays and ripples.

Sometimes, effort doesn't guarantee results. Even though the process of striving doesn't deceive you, you still might not reach the destination of success in the end.

But he's different; he hasn't even tried yet.

So he picked up another pebble and threw it into the sea. With another splash, the pebble was swallowed by the sea.

Because the stones were too small, they couldn't even create a flower pattern this time.

"..."