The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

Polly cried out, wrapping her hair around him and yelling, "Junior, don't go!"

"What are you still doing here, junior?! I don't want to be part of your strange interactions!"

"Well, if you leave here, I'll be the only one cleaning the room," Polly said pitifully. "I don't want to clean the room in vacuum mode!!"

"So, can you put it on first?!"

Polly hesitated, "Everything except the swimsuit wasn't dry after washing... Everything that was wearable got dirty because I spilled instant noodles while I was unconscious..."

Lu Wenjun stared at the ceiling for a full five seconds, his voice barely audible as he asked, "Senior Melt, how exactly have you managed to coexist peacefully with this kind of creature for nearly a hundred years?"

Melt covered his chest with one hand: "It's because of my extraordinary magnanimity."

Polly chuckled: "So flat, so flat, what kind of magnanimity is that..."

"Great, Polly-chan, you don't need to go braless anymore. You can go completely braless from now on."

"No! Let me go!! This will make it impossible to broadcast live!!"

Lu Wenjun finally couldn't hold back: "You've been unable to stream for a long time, you good-for-nothing!"

Chapter 23: Growing Too Much Will Cause Mutation

In conclusion, the cleaning of Polly's terrifying room lasted for more than two hours. The horrifying room was like a small, enclosed maze, and during the cleaning process, unexpected mysterious items and even strange creatures would suddenly fly out from some side path.

"Wow, this little plastic figure is so sexy..."

"That one, that one, that one is my treasured limited edition, don't touch it—"

"Oh, it's making a sound! It's screaming! And it's screaming so passionately! So powerful!!"

"That voice function can't be turned on!!"

"I want to go home..."

The horrifying and unbelievable details were so impactful that Lü Wenjun resolutely erased them from his mind. When he finally put the last box away, he couldn't help but let out a long sigh, feeling as if he had experienced a pink whirlwind that had swept through from ancient times to the present, embodying the century-long loneliness of a shut-in.

"I wish I could lose my memory," said Lü Wenjun.

“I’m so stupid, really.” Melt’s eyes were lifeless. “I only knew she was a good-for-nothing, but I never imagined she could be this bad.”

Polly rolled around in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket: "My image! My carefully cultivated image as a beautiful girl has been completely destroyed!!"

Lu Wenjun and Melt exclaimed in unison, "That kind of thing never existed in the first place!!"

"how come--"

Melt rummaged through a storage box for a while, then suddenly held up an old book: "Finally found it! The Five Books I lent out years ago!"

“That’s really something to celebrate…” Lu Wenjun sighed. “By the way, why did Senior Polly borrow this book? It doesn’t seem like your style at all.”

The Five Books are a collection of fables from ancient India, conveying numerous philosophies of governance and peace through the format of a king telling stories to his children. This work is vastly different from the interests of modern otaku, making it hard to imagine Polly, a typical otaku, delving into fables.

Polly thought for a moment: "Because, because, I was writing a paper on ancient Indian literature at the time..."

"You?!"

“Yes, when it comes to ancient Indian literature, the Panchatantra is an unavoidable work,” Polly said matter-of-factly. “Of course, from a theoretical perspective, one would pay more attention to mythological epics like the Ramayana and Mahabharata, but for a thesis, those original texts are too advanced. I'd rather focus on research on the story structure…”

Lu Wenjun was immediately bewildered, feeling a chill run from his back to the top of his head: "Then, what about that 'Collection of Lyrical Ballads' you originally borrowed...?"

Polly replied matter-of-factly, “That book is practically the starting point of the Romantic movement. How can you study contemporary literature without reading it?”

"My goodness, it really was for research! Polly, were you really this artistic back then?!"

Polly said smugly, "Hehehe, don't underestimate me. Back in the day, I, Senior Polly, was a very popular quiet and literary girl on campus!"

"I don't believe it!!!"

Polly held her nose high and took out a stack of letters tied with string from a drawer.

Lu Wenjun started to get goosebumps: "What...what is this?"

"The love letters I received back then."

"My worldview has collapsed! Aaaaaaaaah!"

Lu Wenjun knelt down with his hands behind his head, while Polly said triumphantly, "You, a mere first-year junior, dare to underestimate my extraordinary charm!"

"What on earth happened to that once-admired literary girl to turn her into this disgusting pink creature?!"

Polly poked her index finger back and forth: "Um... um... spending so much time at school naturally leads to..."

"This isn't natural, it's a complete mutation! It suddenly changed!!"

Melt patted him on the shoulder, looking wistful: "Junior, remember this. Women, if they don't find a partner for too long, they turn into these bizarre and incomprehensible creatures..."

“Nonsense! This has nothing to do with my love life!” Polly protested.

Lu Wenjun forced himself to rally and turned to ask, "Senior Melt, you didn't also...?"

Melt laughed loudly: "Don't get me wrong, young man! Back in my day, I was a popular social butterfly who mingled with everyone in various clubs!"

"Ah, it's obvious that you have strong interpersonal skills."

“I originally wanted to be a club leader. That guy gave me the ‘Five Books’ so I could learn some leadership skills.” Melt shook his head. “Judging from the results, it was indeed somewhat useful. It was put to good use in organizing the attack on the Millennium Cave.”

"Don't use the techniques you use to manage a club to sabotage its activities..."

"It's the seniors' duty to cause trouble for the younger generation!" Melt said smugly. "How boring are events that go smoothly? It's the constant commotion that makes youth so precious. Look at how unforgettable your freshman welcome dance was last year; that's all thanks to me..."

Lu Wenjun waved his hand coldly: "Come on, Pershka was really angry that time, and I was a little annoyed too."

Melt scratched the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly: "Well, I'm really sorry... You see, it's actually quite difficult to control the degree of this kind of thing. It will always offend some people, but you can't not do it."

"So if you already know this, then don't do it!"

"No, no, we can't not do it!" Polly stood behind Melt to support him. "We, the Thousand-Year Cave, are an evil organization! If we do nothing but serious things all day long, we'll lose our purpose and become a bunch of useless bastards!"

“That being said, Polly-chan, you can’t even close a few deals all year round. You’re just a complete loser,” Melt said.

"Damn it, how dare you speak the truth! I'm never speaking up for you again, get out!"

Polly, wrapped in a blanket, huddled in the corner of the room, casting a persistent, dark gaze. Melt grinned and said, "Get your book out before you go out. Where's *The Lyric Ballads*?"

Polly buried her head under the covers: "Couldn't find it..."

"Haha? I spent over two hours cleaning your room and this is what you tell me?!" Lü Wenjun's face lit up with anger.

"No, no, it wasn't my fault! I thought it was in the room too!" Polly cried out. "I only remembered it at the very end. It seems I didn't want to recall my literary-minded teenage self, so I put the book in the forget-me-not chute..."

"Is this some kind of ancient JRPG-style super-duper fetch quest? There are three quest locations to run around in just one small building?!"

“That place is just a storage room. Go up to the fifth floor and walk to the end on the left.” Melt tossed him a bunch of keys. “That’s all I’ll do to help you pass the time, senior. Good luck with the rest.”

"Your shameless honesty is truly admirable..." Lu Wenjun sighed, "Hey Polly, that's your book, you know??"

Polly resolutely huddled in the corner: "I'm not going out!"

"Ugh, my head hurts so much. I've only been here for three hours, and I'm already getting a nerve-related headache..."

In the end, Lü Wenjun still went up the stairs alone. For these capricious and unpredictable people, things like reason or face were basically irrelevant.

Perhaps Polly, once a literary girl, or Melt, once a socialite, still possessed a sense of responsibility and innocence. However, the two have now become fantastical beings who can be completely naked in front of their juniors without any pressure, and who can unbutton their friends' swimsuits in front of their juniors without any pressure. Such beings have become awe-inspiring "complete forms" in a social sense, like a theoretical spherical chicken in a vacuum. Because they are almost impossible to exist in reality, they have no flaws whatsoever.

"How did such a bright student end up like this..."

He sighed softly as he arrived at room 515 at the end of the fifth-floor corridor. A note, pasted there many years ago, read "Forgotten Hole." Below the three large characters, "Storage Room," was crossed out in black.

"Why would you need to name something like that for a dilapidated storage room?!"

No, I need to calm down. I can't let these idiots get me into their rhythm. Lu Wenjun took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. The moment he took out his keys to open the door, he unsurprisingly smelled dust.

As expected, the scene outside the door was another disaster. Countless cardboard boxes were scattered on the ground like stones, and most of the unsealed boxes were open, revealing monster masks, costumes, and various small toys inside. On the iron shelf on the left side of the room, dice, nails, picture frames, and other small odds and ends were piled up. The haphazard arrangement showed the lazy way the person who stored them had just shoved things in.

All the clutter was covered with a thick layer of dust, turning the entire room gray. Lü Wenjun suspected that no one had been here for at least ten years, otherwise it would have been impossible for so much dust to have accumulated.

"This is a bit creepy... You guys didn't actually put something weird here, did you...?"

Lu Wenjun shivered involuntarily. He'd just stepped inside when he brushed against several rusty nails. The nails were covered in rust and dried blood, looking remarkably like cursed items from some extremely malevolent spirit. He carefully turned the nails and saw the label on the back—

[Handmade custom-made Cialis cosplay set pieces, no quality issues found, reason for return pending investigation]

"Don't use this for cosplay, you guys!! Of course it'll be returned! Even an idiot like Faris wouldn't dare use this for cosplay!!"

The tension vanished without a trace. Those idiots really were idiots, unchanged even decades ago. Lü Wenjun rolled his eyes and began investigating the nearest cabinet. He glanced past several small cloth bags clearly unsuitable for holding books, his gaze settling on a small photo frame.

It was an old group photo, its edges yellowed and faded, the faces obscured by dust. Curious, he picked up the frame and wiped the dust away. Then, the photo, from who-knows-how-many years ago, came into view. The first thing he saw was a familiar smile, a cowboy hat, a cigarette dangling from his lips, and a bit of stubble.

That undoubtedly belonged to Bill, who was still a freshman. He pointed his finger at the spirited young man beside him, making the shape of a gun. That guy absolutely deserved the description. Although he was still grinning mischievously, you could see the unique charm of an outstanding young man in his eyes, and an unwavering confidence in his own abilities.

That was Kano E from back then.

At that time, he wasn't wearing a high school uniform yet, but rather a gray school uniform. Lü Wenjun guessed that it might have been a reward for him being the top scorer in the entrance exam, just like his own white school uniform.

To Kano's upper left is Polly, with her braided pigtails, dressed neatly and holding a book—she looks every bit the shy, literary girl. Next to Polly stands Melt, with long hair, wearing a short-sleeved white top and pleated skirt, exuding an innocent and pure aura, completely unlike the slut she is now. On the far right of the second row is the tall, imposing Fang Mo, wearing a slightly tight school uniform, his expression very serious—the stereotypical reliable upperclassman.

Judging from their expressions and postures, the group in the photo seems to be arranged according to their grade level. The older trio of Fang and Mo are standing at the back, while the Kanos in front look like freshmen. And on the far right of the first row, there's another person, someone he doesn't recognize. That guy has long, frivolous hair, wears an oddly styled Zhongshan suit, and smiles brightly at the camera.

Lu Wenjun had never seen this person before. He wasn't an active senior at school. Yet, at the same time, he felt a sense of familiarity; he seemed to have seen a similar smile somewhere recently. That was...

Shortly before the start of the school term...

He imagined a pair of small black sunglasses and placed them on the face of the person in the photograph. He immediately recognized the man; a century had passed, yet his demeanor was almost identical to that in the photograph.

He was the messenger Hong Qi.

“Did you notice? That person’s name is Hong Qi, and he’s one of the original members of the Millennium Cave!” Kano said.

"!"

Lu Wenjun nearly smashed the photo frame. Kano, who had appeared behind him unnoticed, was now arm in arm with him, looking at the photo together. He said nostalgically, "Ah, isn't this the time I received the Academy Star award? That was a hundred years ago... Everyone was so young back then..."

"It's more like a mutation than a naivety! It's a completely different species compared to how it is now!" Lü Wenjun shouted.

"This is what they call maturity that time brings!" Kano said proudly. "But it feels so strange..."

He scrutinized Lü Wenjun from the side: "Xiao Wenjun only enrolled last year, while Hong Qi has already graduated. Why does he have such a strange reaction to this photo... Could it be..."

Lü Wenjun was prepared for his past misdeeds to be exposed.

"Little Wenjun has actually been in school for 100 years!" Kano exclaimed in shock. "In order to win the Academy Star title, he spent a hundred years lying low, and after figuring out all the strategies, he finally made his move and won the championship last year! This is the secret plan of the genius Lü Wenjun!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right, that's crazy!" Lu Wenjun exclaimed. "Senior, just how bizarre is your thought process to come up with something like this!"

"To have gone undercover for so long just for the freshman award, that's amazing!" Kano exclaimed, her eyes sparkling.

"Senior..."

"Just kidding, just kidding. You've seen him outside, haven't you?" Kano put the photo frame back in its place. "He's a heartless guy, isn't he? He hasn't contacted anyone for a long time after leaving school. How's Hong Qi doing now?"

Lu Wenjun thought for a moment and said, "Well, he's driving a taxi outside now."

Kano exclaimed in alarm: "Hey hey hey hey hey—"

"My side job is running errands, like delivering letters or small toys."

Kano crouched on the ground, clutching his head: "Even top students from academies can only do manual labor after graduation... Has the current employment situation really gotten this bad...?!"

"That being said, I'm quite valued by the company, so there's still room for advancement... I guess." Lu Wenjun's expression was subtle. "Although it's a shady company with very few full-time employees."

"Xiao Wenjun, after listening to what you said, I don't want to graduate at all!"

"You weren't planning on graduating anyway, were you?" Lü Wenjun sighed. "I'm barely acquainted with him. Is there anything he can help me with?"

"No~" Kano plopped down on the cardboard box. "After leaving school, my senior has his own job and life. If an old classmate suddenly writes to him, it would probably bother him, right?"

"That being said, you guys aren't the type to care about any bullshit 'trouble,' are you?"

"Oh, that makes sense!" Kano pulled out a book. "How about we make a deal?"

The book was the "Collection of Lyrical Ballads" that Polly hadn't been able to find. He waved the book in his hand and said with a grin, "I'll return the book that Polly owes you. In return, when you have some free time, please send Hong Qi a little toy for me, okay?"

“Okay, no problem, I got it.” Lü Wenjun held out his hand.

Kano tossed the book back to him: "Aren't you going to take this opportunity to find out about the heart-pounding past of your seniors?"

“I don’t plan to. Senior, a super genius like you must have your reasons for staying at school for so long.” Lu Wenjun put the book back in his bag. “I also have many things I don’t want people to know, so I can understand that feeling.”

Kano smiled knowingly: "Little Wenjun is a man with secrets too~~"

"That's obvious to you, senior," Lu Wenjun sighed. "Thanks for your cooperation, I'll head out now. By the way, are you planning to keep up the pranks this semester?"

Kano gave a thumbs up: "Of course! This is an important club activity for us!"

"Understood. So this semester I will continue to ruthlessly thwart your plans. Get ready, senior."