The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

"You did a complete makeover without making a sound," Faris exclaimed in amazement. "Wow, that's brilliant, truly brilliant. Same face, same clothes, but today you look like a social butterfly. What kind of magic did you use to teach the guys?"

Lu Wenjun took out the jade pendant and stared at himself for a long time. In the camera lens, he still looked the same as before. To put it nicely, he was a delicate and melancholic style man; to put it bluntly, he was a pale-faced pretty boy, far from being a majestic and muscular man, let alone the average level of the Lu family.

His shock was even greater than his friend's: "Wait, what's changed?"

Faris pondered for a moment, then asked, "Charm?"

"Does a stupid college student have any class whatsoever?"

"Isn't a stupid college student just a student when they lose their stupidity?" Faris slammed his hand down. "Right! Your idiotic aura has weakened! You must have been secretly studying behind my back!"

"Go to hell with you."

After rambling on for a while without coming up with anything concrete, Lü Wenjun could only jot down his conjecture of "divinity plus charisma." He cautiously entered the store, paying extra attention to the actions of other passersby, afraid of triggering some kind of "heartthrob" phenomenon.

However, everyone went about their business and no one paid any attention to him. Occasionally, a classmate who noticed his gaze would respond with a friendly smile.

"That's fucking weird," Lu Wenjun muttered to himself, "and nobody's rushing over to ask me for an autograph."

“I think you’re getting a little obsessed with learning.” Faris put a small lamp into the shopping basket. “Do you think the magic shop sells computer stands? I want the kind that can stand up.”

"Wake up, okay? Where would you get electricity to play computer games in a Greater Rift?"

"How amazing! Your parents didn't even buy you a magic converter?" Faris exclaimed. "I can't even use a cell phone in college. My database of Asian stereotypes has really been updated."

"Ah? So there's electricity—"

Before he could finish his sentence, or more precisely, just as the thought of "buying one" crossed Lü Wenjun's mind, he happened to see the magic converter on the shelf. A crystal box that looked like a power adapter, priced at 300 magic coins.

He had budgeted exactly 300 yuan for going out today, and if he bought this, he wouldn't be able to do much. He felt a little regretful—

A passing shop assistant casually stuck a label on the item, right in front of Lü Wenjun, and put it on -50%.

I have 150 magic coins now. That's enough for at least two meals.

It was a very clever coincidence.

Lu Wenjun stared at the coincidentally appearing -50% figure and a strange thought popped into his head.

“I’m planning to make an alarm clock,” he said, while imagining what it would look like. It would be rectangular, with the hours and minutes displayed on the left and right sides, and raised, spring-loaded buttons on top.

"How about this?" Faris picked up an alarm clock. "Look, it's on sale."

The alarm clock was almost exactly as he had imagined, even the color was his favorite white. It was only 30 after a 30% discount.

"No way," Lu Wenjun said.

He closed his eyes and wandered aimlessly. (I hoped I wouldn't bother anyone.) He didn't bump into anyone. He organized his wish list as he walked. I want something practical... Senior Mingxiao's kitchen doesn't have gloves, I want a pair of oven mitts.

He opened his eyes and saw a pair of comfortable and durable cotton gloves, perfectly suited to his taste.

"What are you doing all of a sudden?" Faris asked from afar.

Lu Wenjun rubbed his eyes hard. He turned around to check every shelf around him, making sure every item on it was correct. This place was far from the stationery section; there was no draft paper here.

I want a stack of scratch paper.

A girl carrying a shopping basket brushed past him, holding a stack of manuscript papers in her hand.

"I think I took an extra copy... Hey, do you need any manuscript paper?"

“Yes, I need it,” Lü Wenjun murmured to himself. “I really need it.”

She stuffed the manuscript paper into Lü Wenjun's hand and left, satisfied.

Lu Wenjun sprinted to the bewildered Faris. He grabbed Faris's arm and exclaimed, half in fear and half in joy, "Faris, listen to me, I might be a god."

Faris, his mouth slightly agape, said earnestly, "No, you're crazy."

Without a word, he dragged Faris to the deli section and asked, "What do you want to eat?"

"If you're treating, I wouldn't mind having a cream puff."

“Count to three,” Lü Wenjun said.

"321."

"I want two cream puffs," Lü Wenjun thought, "they're free." Vanilla cream flavor. With a crisp chocolate shell on the outside.

The wife of a shop assistant in the deli section bumped into him without noticing as she came out of the kitchen.

"I'm so sorry," the shop assistant smiled apologetically. "As an apology, how about I treat you to some snacks?"

Thank you.

She placed two large chocolate cream puffs in Lü Wenjun's hands, and Lü Wenjun turned around and stuffed one of them into Faris's wide-open mouth.

Faris chewed on the cream puff blankly, mumbling, "What kind of new technique is this?"

Lu Wenjun didn't even bother eating the cream puffs. He dragged Faris out of the magic supermarket, gazing at the dark, cloud-shrouded sky. His face was full of excitement and fervor, like a gambler about to win the lottery.

"Want some sunshine, Faris?" he asked. "Tell me, do you want light?"

Faris nodded.

Lü Wenjun pointed to the sky: "Let there be light!"

The darkness in the sky instantly dissipated, and the dark, damp air currents scattered in panic at the touch of that finger. A bright white chasm suddenly appeared in the air, and dazzling, warm sunlight descended from the sky, as if a god from the infinite heights had pointed a finger at Lü Wenjun's fingertip!

Faris let out a sharp cry: "Dude! You're a god!!"

Lü Wenjun pointed to the sky and laughed wildly: "Heavens! I am a god!!"

He devoured the cream puff in a few bites, then stood there clapping his hands excitedly. "Something for you! Something for you! Something energetic... the wind!"

Lu Wenjun raised his hand and shouted, "Let the wind rise!"

Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew in, making their hair look like the most stylish long-haired kid in the village. Faris danced around like a monkey, almost incoherently: "This is impossible! This is too ridiculous! I don't believe in this... bugs! God sends bug plagues! Do you have the ability to control bugs?!"

Lu Wenjun extended his right hand, staring intently at his palm and whispering, "Insect..."

They heard a buzzing sound of wings, followed by screams from the students. A large swarm of wasps rushed in, coalescing into a flying sphere that landed in his palm. Lü Wenjun's fingers curled up one by one, and the wasps flew past like a black stream, dancing along with his fingertips.

Lu Wenjun clapped his hands and exclaimed in a booming voice, "How about that!"

Faris rubbed his eyes frantically: "Where are the birds? The birds!"

Lu Wenjun clapped his hands lightly, and the wasps scattered. He clapped his hands a second time, and the sound of flapping wings grew louder as he approached. A flock of long-tailed tits flew in like an army, landing on his arms and head.

"Do you believe me now?!" he shouted.

"Holy crap! That's amazing!" Faris grabbed his arm. "Could you be any more awesome, Master Lu?!"

"God is omnipotent." Lü Wenjun pointed to himself with his thumb. "From now on, I will attract everyone's attention!"

Lu Wenjun turned and walked into the store, with a completely different mindset.

A collective gasp filled the air, followed by gasps of astonishment, as everyone's eyes were fixed on him. Their gazes were a mixture of surprise, admiration, and disbelief, as if they had seen a celebrity step out of a poster. Such looks would make any man an enemy, yet none of the boys present showed any hostility; instead, they displayed the utmost reverence they would show for an idol.

They seemed to see a perfect fusion of Schwarzenegger, Louis Koo, and Clark Kent, and could only shout "Hooray!"

Lü Wenjun felt the scene truly deserved a good song, so the shop's loudspeakers switched to an old tune. Early 20th-century electronic music surged forth like electricity, carrying an incredibly catchy rhythm:

I've got the power~

He's going to break my heart~

He's gonna break my heart of hearts! "

Lu Wenjun hummed a tune as he paid and left the store. People rushed after him, only to see a dashing figure from behind. He was like a walking spotlight, attracting the attention of countless men, women, and children. The Philosophy Avenue was practically at a standstill that morning, everyone following his silhouette, the only sound the song emanating from his lips.

"I've got the power!"

He gradually saw familiar faces and the astonished gazes of his classmates. "Lu, classmate!" "Lu Wenjun!" He waved gracefully to the girls' screams. "Wow, first place!" "A genius!" He responded with a smile to the boys' shouts. He twirled and danced in the spotlight, then soared upwards on his flying shoes. People reached out to him reluctantly, but he laughed and flew into the sky!

Lu Wenjun circled in the air, abandoning the idea of ​​attracting attention. He quietly appeared behind Faris and patted his buddy on the shoulder.

"How is it?" he asked, shrugging.

Faris cried out with absolute sincerity, "Great Sage! No, Godfather! Grant me divine power!"

"No rush. Let your godfather enjoy the morning first, and then this afternoon you will be named Holy Son Faris!"

Faris clasped his hands in gratitude and said, "Father has treated me so well; Faris will surely risk his life for Father without hesitation!"

Lü Wenjun laughed three times and strode away. At that moment, his steps were as confident as those of the world's most successful person, for he was a god, and no difficulty in life could defeat a god!

He sang and danced his way out for a while, and just then he ran into Old Fa, who was pushing a cart to buy goods. The Flame Skull looked at him and laughed.

"Ah, haha, you're full of energy?"

Lu Wenjun brushed his bangs aside: "Isn't it bad to have energy?"

"It's alright. It's harmless once in a while. I understand. I won't tell anyone else." The flames on Old Fa's head trembled with laughter. "But be mindful of others, right? You know, these days you should at least live a more civilized life!"

Old Fa walked away laughing, his laughter sounding like he'd just heard a truly cheesy joke. Lü Wenjun was a little puzzled, wondering if Old Fa was some kind of old-fashioned aristocrat who believed that one had to wear formal attire even on a day off to be considered proper?

He took a couple of steps and then spotted another unexpected figure. Pershka, carrying a small cloth bag, was walking towards the library. He was about to approach her as usual to make sarcastic remarks, but then a mischievous thought popped into his head.

No matter what, I am now a handsome and dashing god, even Pershka would look at me with respect, right?

Thinking of this, Lü Wenjun quickly approached, revealing a bright and sunny smile: "Good morning, Pershka!"

"Oh? That tone... what scheme are you plotting today—"

Pershka turned his head.

He gave me the look of utter contempt for trash.

"—?!"

Lu Wenjun froze on the spot. His gaze went beyond mere contempt; it couldn't even be described as looking at scum. It was as if he were sweeping over a walking, foul-smelling, ugly thing. The level of negativity was so profound that it could make one lose the will to live!

"…………Oh."

Then, Pershka let out a disdainful laugh that could shatter a person's confidence. Ignoring the person who was about to crumble to dust, she strode away.

"—Wait, wait a minute, please wait a moment!"

Lu Wenjun let out a scream. For some reason, he felt a strange sense of guilt, to the point that he couldn't even muster any momentum. "What's the reason, Miss Witch?! Surely I'm not that annoying?!"

Pershka was quite surprised, as if she had heard the sludge in the sewers making a sound. Lu Wenjun sensed that she was about to utter some extremely damaging words, but suddenly stopped and looked at her with a very subtle expression.

"Hey, you, you still don't understand?"

"What kind of riddle are you spouting? Could you please explain it more clearly?"

She suddenly realized. Then, a smile appeared on that beautiful face that sent chills down Lü Wenjun's spine.

"Now, right now, go find Senior Mingxiao or Tianyin Academy. Make sure no one else finds out. Although I've already memorized your performance, I won't forget it even after graduation, hahahahaha!"

Pershka left laughing, leaving Lü Wenjun alone, chilled to the bone.

No, first it was Old Pharaoh, then Pershka; both of them behaving strangely in quick succession, clearly something is wrong. What exactly is going on with this divinity...?

Something terrible has definitely happened! Something bizarre has occurred that most people don't know about, but that a few consider a tragedy!

Faris caught up from behind and asked curiously, "What's wrong, Great Immortal?"

"It seems the Immortal has probably messed up." Lü Wenjun touched the jade pendant. "Let's avoid the public eye for now. I need to quickly send a message to Ling Gong—"

Perhaps it was divine intervention, but the moment he had the thought of seeing Ling Gong, Ling Gong appeared just as he turned the corner.

She raised her hand, intending to greet someone, but the usual friendliness in her eyes was replaced by shock, disdain, and contempt as she raised her hand, transforming into the same look one would give someone looking at trash.

Unlike the witch, Reiko's face turned bright red, and she covered her face with her hands, screaming, "What are you doing!"

Lu Wenjun shouted, "I was just about to ask, why are you looking at me like that?!"

Ling Gong's next words plunged him into despair.

"How could you say such a thing... How could you expose your divinity like this! This kind of thing, this kind of thing is like..."

Linggong shrieked, "You're like you're not wearing pants right now, Wenjun!"

This moment.

Lu Wenjun suddenly understood all the strange occurrences he had witnessed and experienced a Buddha-like enlightenment.

what.

He thought to himself.

My reputation is ruined.

Chapter 39 Your most urgent task is to put on your pants (Double update today)