The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

“My secret recipe requires river water and a special kind of honey.” Huther proudly pulled open a small drawer. “That honey is only available in my ingredient storage… Cabone, where’s my horn?”

The small drawer was empty, and Huise frowned as she rummaged through it. Cabone quickly shifted the blame: "Auntie, I didn't touch it. You've been keeping that corner ever since you borrowed it."

"If I could find it, would I be asking you? I just used it a few days ago..."

Huise stomped up the stairs, annoyed, as a commotion of rummaging through drawers came from the second floor. Cabone gestured for silence: "In my experience, it always takes her hours to find her treasure in every nook and cranny. Let's rest for today, and remember to take the leftovers home."

"Thanks, Mr. Cabone."

Lu Wenjun packed up the remaining nut and honey cakes and, with springy legs, hopped back up the mountain.

Since his magic power increased, he has been able to use spells to travel from time to time. This has saved him a lot of time and made him feel more and more like a real mage.

For these freshmen, a readily usable spell formula is like a brand-new car; the increased mobility means their lives aren't confined to the dormitory, cafeteria, and classroom, allowing them to occasionally explore further afield. It's said there are towns on the edge of the Mythic+ dungeons that mages love to visit, and many on the forums recommend camping around Mount Divine Sleep. Perhaps, once he becomes a Mythic+ mage, he too can freely roam the outskirts of the Mythic+ dungeons…

Lu Wenjun walked into the Water Mirror Pavilion with lighthearted thoughts and greeted his roommates.

Anyone want some dessert?

"I want it!" "You'll turn into a pig sooner or later."

A classic 90s soap opera was playing on the crystal screen. Mingxiao, engrossed in the show, was sprawled on the sofa, her tank top and hot pants a reckless disregard for the autumn chill. Meanwhile, Hisako was huddled under a thin blanket like a cicada pupa. Even without X-ray vision, Lu Wenjun knew that she was definitely not wearing pants under the blanket.

"Do either of you know how to write the four characters for 'appearance and demeanor'?"

"I don't know, this is my home~"

Mingxiao lazily stretched out her arm, so Lü Wenjun had no choice but to go over and put the snacks in her hands.

Hisako then reached out her hand, but Lu Wenjun ignored her very naturally and threw the remaining pastries into the ice cellar.

Hisamitsu threw off the covers and jumped up: "Nerd, how dare you!"

Lu Wenjun nimbly parried the claws: "Huh? Didn't you say you were afraid of getting fat and wouldn't eat it? Why are you going back on your word?"

"I am a legendary beautiful magician, unlike you, I won't get fat!"

"Nonsense! If magicians didn't care about their weight, there wouldn't be so many girls buying salads every day! Besides, my figure is so slender and well-proportioned, how could I possibly be fat!"

Upon hearing this, Mingxiao glanced at the screen twice and then blinked.

She started to suppress her laughter.

"What's with that look you're giving me, senior?"

"Hey Wenjun," Mingxiao's rabbit ears twitched, "have you gained a little weight lately?"

"……what?"

Hisamitsu jumped back, pointed, and shouted, "He's definitely gotten fatter! His face is noticeably rounder than when I first saw him!"

"You're talking nonsense! Don't you dare slander me!"

Lu Wenjun found the scale and exclaimed, "My slender and thin figure never gained weight even under the hellish pressure of my senior year of high school, how could it have increased in just over two months of university—"

Someone's powerful shout got stuck in their throat.

The numbers displayed on the scale showed a subtle discrepancy from what I remembered.

The numerical difference reached 5.5.

Calm down, Lü Wenjun. Remember the unit conversions. Kilograms and jin are different units; 1 kilogram = 2 jin. So, 5.5 kilograms means...

"—11 jin?!"

Lu Wenjun let out a horrified cry. Mingxiao burst into laughter upon hearing this. Miss Jiuguang quickly glanced at the scale and, with an expression utterly devoid of any ladylike decorum, mocked, "Debu! Debu!"

"You're kidding me?! I use high-mana-consuming transformation spells every day, how could I still be so fat?!"

"Didn't you drink centaur milk to replenish your mana frequently during the slaying exercise?" Mingxiao pointed out, "That stuff is extremely high in calories..."

Jiu Guangyin chuckled and added, "Your usual eating habits aren't great either. Not long ago, you ate a ton of fried chicken at a dinner party, and you've been mooching off other people at those pubs every day..."

"After the midterm exams, we had a big feast at the celebration banquet..." Mingxiao said.

"You sometimes read until late at night and then eat a midnight snack," Hisamitsu sneered. "How could someone like you, who can't control his eating, not get fat!"

"Ughh ...

I wanted to refute it, but I couldn't find any arguments to support my point.

Thinking about it carefully, it really is true. After entering university, there are more opportunities to have meals together. Working part-time at a bar requires tasting dishes and eating frequently. Not only that, the pressure is even greater than in my senior year of high school! It's not just because I need to maintain the image of a top student and study like crazy every day, but also because I'm constantly being dragged by some jerk to play games until the early hours of the morning and need to eat late-night snacks!

How unhealthy! How lazy! If Dad saw me like this, he'd probably yell "pig!" without hesitation!

"But why are you two alright?!" Lu Wenjun shouted. "It's one thing for Mingxiao-senpai, but Jiuguang is always upside down, staying cooped up day and night and stealing desserts. Logically, he should be gaining weight much faster than me, but his thigh size hasn't even changed?!"

"How disgusting... You were secretly looking at my legs after all..." Hisamitsu gave him a disdainful look. "Besides, someone like me won't become ugly. Unlike a fat otaku like you."

"Damn it... this bastard who uses his strength to gorge himself on food...!"

Lu Wenjun knelt before the scale in humiliation, making up his mind.

I can't keep indulging like this. I absolutely have to lose weight!

·

So, at noon the next day.

"Have you gone bankrupt again recently?" Faris asked.

Lu Wenjun was gritting his teeth as he gnawed on a pork jerky and whole wheat bread sandwich. Based on everyone's understanding of him, only during difficult times when his wallet was empty would Chef Lu choose such an inedible food.

"I am indeed short of money lately, but that's another matter..." Lu Wenjun gulped down a glass of warm water. "I've gained too much weight recently, I need to lose weight!"

Faris exclaimed, "Wow! Bro, you mean you're going to start losing fat?"

"What the hell do you want to do?"

"Don't worry, we'll definitely support you!"

So, after the first class in the afternoon, little Faris took a steaming hot bucket of fried chicken (using a magical insulated container) out of his schoolbag. As he unpacked it, he said, "Oh dear, I accidentally bought too much for lunch. Anyone who wants some, just take it from me!"

“I won’t stand on ceremony.” Velsa extended her hand.

"Farris, I want one too!"

"Hey, anyone want to get one for the teacher?" Bill said from the podium. "No participation points, but the teacher will be happy!"

Everyone happily shared junk food and drinks, creating a harmonious atmosphere in the classroom. However, Lu Wenjun, unfortunately sitting next to the bucket of fried chicken, felt his stomach, which had just enjoyed a healthy meal, was protesting loudly and incessantly.

"Hey buddy, what's going on?" Faris asked in surprise. "Why are you being so polite between us? There's still plenty left, take it!"

Lu Wenjun groaned, "You're absolutely rotten to the core..."

“Wenjun is working hard to lose weight right now, how can we disturb him?” Linggong said with a smile. “Unfortunately, I also bought daifuku, and it’s Wenjun’s favorite matcha flavor.”

Faris beamed with delight: "What a pity!"

Lü Wenjun let out a howl like a hungry dog.

"Let's share the food with Wenjun, out of a desire to help him!"

"Ling Gong...how could you..."

"Could it be that Wenjun couldn't resist anymore?" Linggong pushed up her glasses. "What should we do? If he eats just one bite of this, all his hard work at noon will be for nothing."

Lu Wenjun angrily closed his eyes, attempting to visually shut out external temptations. However, at that moment, he smelled a familiar fragrance—the scent of a street vendor hawking their wares on an autumn day, a memory almost every student has…!

"This, this is...!"

Vilsa was using the Red Oni's fire spell to roast sweet potatoes, and thoughtfully blowing the aroma over with a small fan.

"Velsa, you bastard?!"

“Weight loss is a mental test,” Virsa said seriously. “We are helping you overcome the various desires around you.”

"Yeah, he should thank us!" Red Ghost suppressed a laugh.

"a ha ha ha!"

The heartless students burst into wild laughter! The poor dieters cried out in despair, surrounded by numerous temptations! This scene was a veritable hell for fitness enthusiasts, where the demons of insatiable appetite were using every trick in the book to drag them down into the hell of obesity.

Is there anything more terrifying than this? Is there anything more despairing than this moment?

"So you were trying to lose weight..."

Yes, there are!

That was Miss Pershka's smile after curiously peeking in and discovering the truth!

Lu Wenjun felt a chill run down his spine: "What...what do you want to do?!"

"I will prepare carefully, please look forward to it."

·

So, the following morning...

Pershka walked over with his hands behind his back, and to Lü Wenjun's utter horror, he took out a large metal snack box from behind him.

And lying in that box were...! Desserts wrapped in honey and white icing, meticulously crafted into the shapes of fairies, gnomes, and strange mushroom people. These are gingerbread cookies, a unique German dessert, baked with honey, pepper, and ginger!

“Looking back, we had quite a few unnecessary conflicts when we first enrolled,” Pershka said with a smile. “These snacks are for you as a gift to make up with you.”

"You, you...!"

Lu Wenjun was struck dumb. Beneath the other person's seemingly sweet smile lay an incredibly treacherous trap.

If it were just a simple food temptation, one could use "I'm on a diet" to deflect the offer. However, the very first sentence clearly states that this is a "gift for reconciliation"! And it's a rare instance of the witch taking the initiative to reconcile!

Refusing the gift would be tantamount to declaring war. That would be a complete defeat in terms of etiquette, and soon rumors would spread throughout the school, making Lü Wenjun's name synonymous with heartlessness and ingratitude!

Lu Wenjun forced a smile: "Thank you so much, Miss Pershka. I will share this gift with everyone..."

However, Lü Wenjun was a quick-witted man. His solution was to share. Half for each person, a piece for each person—it was a perfect distribution, polite, and it didn't make the other party lose face. It was a perfect counterattack!

Pershka laughed even more gleefully, his eyes saying, "You're still struggling even when you're about to die."

"By the way, I made this myself."

"What did you say--?!"

Not only Lü Wenjun, but even the classmates watching from the sidelines gasped in surprise. The witch's preemptive move perfectly shattered Lü Wenjun's struggle. If it were a purchased gift, it might be acceptable to share it, but to share a dessert that a girl made with her own hands with others would be a complete betrayal of her painstaking efforts!

Moreover... if Pershka made this himself, he wouldn't want to give it to anyone else!

Lu Wenjun's lips turned blue: "You...you actually went to this extent to disgust me?!"

“Of course, I always prioritize (torturing) you,” Pershka waved her hand. “So, please enjoy it to the fullest!”

She turned and left nimbly, leaving behind a groaning Lü Wenjun slumped on the table. Behind her, three terrifying masks floated out ominously, and the beast witches cast cold, menacing glances at her.

—If you dare to leave any, I'll kill you.

That's without a doubt what they said.

Lu Wenjun stared at the ceiling, his eyes rolling back.

How am I supposed to lose weight like this?!

Chapter 72 Someone's Targeting My Weight

"Tonight's dinner is boiled organic broccoli, boiled egg whites, whole-wheat bread slices, and boiled chicken breast." Lu Wenjun placed the plate on the plate. "Please enjoy."

Jiuguang looked at the table full of healthy food and felt his eyes were green with envy. Mingxiao, unwilling to give up, picked up his chopsticks and poked around for a while, but couldn't find a single speck of oil.

"Wenjun, I can see you're really determined to lose weight," she said with a forced laugh. "But, where's our dinner?"

Lu Wenjun silently pointed to the green dining table for three people.

Mingxiao's eyes seemed to be infected by Hisamitsu's enthusiasm: "Me, me, can I eat this too?"

"Yes."

"If you're suffering, don't drag others down with you!" Hisamitsu yelled. "I'm not on a diet, why should I eat this?! I want fried chicken, pizza, roast goose, roast duck, teriyaki fish fillet!!"

Lu Wenjun cast a cold glance at him: "Do you two expect me to prepare a feast of delicacies all by myself, and then fight this delicious meal alone under your guidance?"

A terrifying glint flashed in his eyes! It was the dark will accumulated from the resentment and anger of a dieter!

Mingxiao hurriedly waved his hand: "How could we be so heartless..."

"I have the freedom not to eat grass!" Hisamitsu was still unwilling to give up.

“Then you can cook for yourself.” Lü Wenjun gestured towards the kitchen. “Please.”