The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

The saying goes, "All things are impermanent," and "Fate plays tricks on us." While one accident might not lead to the complete abandonment of one's past life, experiencing many things naturally brings new perspectives. He raised the wine glass with his fingertips, making it spin like a top. He watched the wine swirl around in a vortex.

"Since we advocate efficiency, let's talk about how efficient it is to enjoy life?"

Ye Jinfa raised an eyebrow: "There's such a thing as efficiency in enjoying life?"

"In my opinion, university is the best time to enjoy life. Your interests are largely formed by then, your thinking hasn't been corrupted by the outside world, and you have time, imagination, a healthy body, and like-minded friends—this is the kind of time many adults dream of," Lü Wenjun said eloquently. "Life is long, but youth is fleeting!"

"The works we like and the interests we are passionate about are often the things we encountered during our student days, because they represent the carefree years of youth. Only at that time could we explore as much as possible and make unexpected attempts, because we still had a mind that was not limited to efficiency and profit."

He gulped down his wine, his face beaming: "Just as the president said, people change. Even if I can retain this mindset after graduation, it will be hard to find companions around to be silly with, because by then everyone's mind will be mostly occupied by efficiency. This is not vulgar corruption, but the inevitability of surviving in an objectively realistic environment! So why rush out of the long night? Since we are in an incredible country, we should celebrate our youth to the fullest!"

He leaned forward and clinked glasses with the president. The president accepted his toast and drank it all.

“You love to fantasize because you are all too aware of reality,” Ye Jinfa said. “I must acknowledge your excellence, but I must decline your participation because I do not want to accept people who are not compatible with me.”

“You’ll accept it,” Pershka said. “Aren’t you the same?”

"All the drinks we've tasted along the way have been mixed with 'Sincerity Wine.' This is to encourage everyone to be honest with each other and find a club that truly resonates with them," Lu Wenjun laughed. "How could a club president who comes up with such a clever trick be a boring guy?"

Ye Jinfa put down his wine glass and chuckled softly.

"Speechless, speechless! That's great. If I had this mindset when I was in first grade, I might have won back then."

"So the president really lost?"

"Those who only practice asceticism can't beat those who enjoy life. What an absurd world this is!" Ye Jinfa slumped on the table. "Come to the student council office tomorrow."

The newlyweds finished their drinks and excitedly clinked glasses in celebration. Ye Jinfa, however, buried his head in his arms and fell asleep, succumbing to the effects of the alcohol.

The clouds landed at that moment, drifting and swaying as they descended. The onlookers looked up and saw the scene inside the pavilion. Everyone clapped and cheered.

"The newcomers have won!" "Even the president was drunk!" "Amazing!!"

So the many magicians lifted the pavilion, carrying a palanquin many times larger than itself. They carried the pavilion around the campus, announcing the outcome of the drinking contest. Thus, a new contest arose, and the winner of the new contest received entirely new praise.

That night, the young magicians reveled in wine.

·

"I think I've had a bit too much to drink..." Lü Wenjun said. "Is my drinking behavior alright?"

Pershka poked him hard: "Completely no good, you drunkard!"

It must have been quite late, as even the upperclassmen had gone home. The starlight illuminated the shadows of the two figures; Pershka was dragging his friend, who was limp and unable to lift his legs due to his drunkenness.

Divine wine intoxicates the mind, and this mental intoxication masks the physical intoxication, making all other alcoholic beverages harmless enjoyment after drinking it. However, the body, in the intoxication of the mind, performs at an extraordinary pace, unknowingly exhausting its strength. Speech becomes sluggish, movements slow, making one appear to outsiders exactly like an ordinary drunkard.

"Anyway...we've all successfully joined the student council!" Lu Wenjun said with a grin. "That's great, now we can argue together again."

“Your standard of ‘good’ is truly baffling,” Pershka said irritably.

"I like this life of bickering and arguing with you... Although I really want to surpass you, I don't want to create a huge distance between us..."

Pershka rubbed her hair in frustration, gritting her teeth: "Saying strange things under the influence of alcohol is rude! If you keep doing this, I'll really get angry!"

"well……"

Lü Wenjun shut his mouth and remained quiet for a while. The starlight bathed the bamboo forest in a soft glow; they were almost at Water Mirror Pavilion.

“The president said,” he continued, “that after graduation, life in the academy always fades… people who throw themselves into new lives always forget each other…”

"This is only natural."

“I don’t want that,” Lü Wenjun said groggily. “The two months I spent here were the happiest time of my life… No matter how much time has passed, I don’t want to forget it… And you? How long can I remain in your memory? Five years later, ten years later?”

"And then it will eventually fade away... becoming an echo called 'the past'..."

He leaned against the girl, suddenly becoming dejected due to his drunkenness. It was as if, having detached himself from the jubilant atmosphere, he had seen the distant future like a prophet, and foreseen his own future, a future where he would become dull and mundane.

Pershka sighed deeply, grabbed his drunken face, and forced him to look at her.

“I am God’s daughter, and I will never forget anything I’ve been through. Besides…”

Her eyes were like clear blue sapphires.

"Someone as inexplicably strange as you is someone you can't forget even if you wanted to!"

Lu Wenjun remained silent in astonishment, his expression gradually relaxing into a lazy smile.

“Thank you, Miss Pershka,” he said gently. “See you tomorrow.”

He slowly walked into the jungle and disappeared from sight. The masks of the beast witches emerged from the darkness, surrounding the slightly flushed witch.

"What do you mean you won't forget, you despicable guy?" she said angrily. "Drunk like this, you'd forget everything you said tomorrow. In the end, only I remember!"

The beast witches responded with dance-like gestures. She glared at them and said angrily, "It makes me so angry! Honestly! Why did I even bother to counsel these kinds of people? It was such a waste of time!"

She turned and left the bamboo forest, and the beast witches laughed silently.

They all knew the reason for this unnecessary action, because Pershka's coat pocket contained a jewel-like wine bottle.

That was a half-bottle of leftover wine that someone had specially saved for her.

Chapter 79 Welcome to the Student Council

My head hurts so much.

A groggy and dry feeling combined, like a tenth of his magic power dwindling to nothingness, compounded by the exhaustion of excessive sleep. Although he was awake, his consciousness lingered in the darkness, unwilling to return; this limboed feeling was probably what people call a hangover. In other words, he was undoubtedly drunk.

"What kind of miraculous wine is this...? Just a few cups and it's already..."

...How many drinks did he have yesterday?

He still vividly remembers the moment he won the drinking contest with the chairman; at that point, he had already drunk nearly eighty different kinds of alcohol. Afterwards, he partied with everyone all night and drank countless more, probably well over a hundred different kinds? That means he drank at least a hundred glasses of alcohol?

"..."

I'm sorry, Mr. Cabernet, I really shouldn't have spoken ill of your divine wine.

It's a real miracle I didn't drink myself to death. I'm never touching alcohol again. I absolutely cannot get this drunk again. My memories after beating the student council president are all hazy; I have no idea what I did. I vaguely remember talking to Pershka about how fun it was to join the student council together...

"........."

Damn it.

How drunk was he? She's absolutely furious! She got angry on the spot after hearing it! Damn it, I blacked out after that and can't remember what happened. What kind of revenge will the enraged witch take against an unconscious drunkard...? What if she opens her eyes to find herself naked and sleeping on the street? That would be too much...!

Lu Wenjun opened his eyes and breathed a long sigh of relief after seeing the familiar ceiling.

Thank goodness it wasn't some suspicious bunch of burly men, thank you, Miss Pershka!

In short, everything will be fine once I successfully return to the Water Mirror Pavilion. I probably took off my shirt before bed because I felt sticky and uncomfortable; I'll fix myself up later. Anyway, I was so drunk last night I'm definitely too weak to talk. If the upperclassmen try to joke around, I'll pretend to be clueless. If Pershka comes after me later, I'll beg for mercy...

Having thoroughly prepared his speech and made all the necessary arrangements, Lü Wenjun, having adjusted his mindset, turned around with a smile.

I saw a human figure wrapped in a blanket on the other side of the bed.

(Aa ...

Okay, that was close. Luckily, I managed to put my fist in my mouth in time; I almost lost my composure and yelled like a prophet.

Calm down, Mr. Lu! Show me the composure you had on the train, you idiot! Even with alcohol, you can see this is absolutely impossible, it's physics-wise impossible! How can you possibly amplify your evil thoughts when you're that drunk? Your evil thoughts are already off duty, sound asleep in bed. Even if Ling Gong were under the spell of the Abundance Horn and wearing a cheerleader outfit, she absolutely couldn't wake up.

So this must be a misunderstanding... or a trap!

Lu Wenjun's eyes sharpened. To set a trap while someone was drunk and out of control, creating a misunderstanding, and then laughing maniacally behind the scenes while watching him panic—such despicable behavior…

It's obvious that those bastards around here would do something like that!

Vilsa wouldn't be so despicable, while Faris is absolutely capable of doing it. However, neither of them is aware of their residence in the Water Mirror Garden, so they can be ruled out. Therefore, the most likely culprit is undoubtedly Pershika. He must have been furious upon hearing the drunken ravings last night, possessing both a clear motive and the means to commit the crime.

"Heh..." Lu Wenjun laughed disdainfully, "You're too naive. Do you think you can fool me, Lu Wenjun, with such tricks? This woman beside you is your beast witch!"

He grabbed the blanket and started to pull it off, ready to argue with the witch's lackey. However, as the blanket was being pulled back, a corner of a smooth shoulder was revealed, and the sound that followed terrified him!

"Wenjun...you're so noisy..."

This, this, this is...

That's Mingxiao's voice! Ahhhhhh!!

Lu Wenjun nearly swallowed the fist. The confidence in his eyes instantly turned into terror.

What on earth happened last night?! This isn't even a question of whether or not there were any impure thoughts. Even if those thoughts were off the charts, there's no way they could possibly touch a hair on your head! What kind of drunken stupor would someone have to be to bump into a legend? Could it be that you were drunk too?!

Damn it! The moment that thought crossed my mind, I pictured my senior clinging to the sofa like a slime. It was so realistic that I couldn't find a reason not to believe it!

Lu Wenjun started trembling: "Senior? What happened yesterday?"

The person beside me remained motionless, their familiar, languid voice tinged with a hint of shyness.

"You... you still have the nerve to ask me this now..."

Lu Wenjun was terrified: "Please, don't talk to me like that! I'm scared!"

The fragrant shoulder beside the pillow stirred, followed by a soft sound.

"He hugged me as soon as he got back yesterday..."

"Was this standard thuggish behavior from the very beginning?!"

"Then they started licking and rubbing against me, and without saying a word, they dragged me into the room..."

"No! Use a spell, please! Use even just one percent of your usual strength, please!!"

“That’s what I was thinking, but you work really hard, so I thought I’d just let it go…” Mingxiao said quietly, “But in the end, it turned out like this… You still have the nerve to ask me? You see what’s going on!”

Lu Wenjun's hands trembled as if he had developed Parkinson's disease fifty years in advance. He shook violently as he slowly lifted the blanket, revealing soft, fragrant shoulders, chestnut hair, bright red muscles, and gleaming front teeth...

It faces the semi-anatomical mannequin next to my pillow.

"——————Mingxiao!!!"

Lu Wenjun kicked open the door and rushed out, bumping right into Mingxiao, who was rolling around on the floor laughing maniacally. He slammed his fist on the table and roared, "Why?! Tell me, just how insane do you have to be to spend the night with a human anatomical model?!"

"Yeah, that's it, that incredible madness when he's drunk, hahaha!"

"I've seen countless drunken romantic comedies in my life, but this is the first time I've ever seen such a crazy development! And what's with that incredibly realistic shoulder? And the hair is exactly the same color!!"

"A disguise that Hisamitsu rushed out at the last minute."

Lu Wenjun went berserk: "Is that woman crazy, working on this in the middle of the night?!"

"By the way, Hisamitsu was full of anticipation, but she overslept and missed the exciting scene just now."

"What an idiot!"

Mingxiao wiped away her tears and stood up: "Also... we initially planned to have Hisamitsu do the voice acting, but she said you definitely wouldn't believe me, so I had to do it myself~"

"You're even worse, you useless rabbit!"

Mingxiao let him rant and rave without getting annoyed, only wearing a strange smile that sent another chill down Lü Wenjun's spine.

"Go ahead and use any other despicable ideas you have."

"No, senior only prepared this little hangover joke, but..." Mingxiao's gaze drifted downwards, "I didn't know that people could be so violent when they're drunk, amazing, amazing."

Lu Wenjun lowered his head in silence, looking at his bare legs.

He was only wearing his underwear and had just gotten out of bed.

"Senior, you better remember this: I will definitely get my revenge on you one day!!"

"Oh, what a classic villain line." Mingxiao chuckled mischievously. "But are you in time? I see your jade pendant is glowing the whole time."

The jade pendant on the small tea table was flashing rapidly, its frequency enough to reveal the believer's intense emotions. Lü Wenjun picked up the jade pendant, and after just one glance, he felt the intoxication in his mind completely vanish.

-Pershka: Just in case, I'll remind you again: meet at the student council room at 10:00 AM. (2:24)

-Persica: I don't think you're still drunk, are you? It would be very tacky of me if you were late, so please be on time. (30 minutes ago)

-Pershka: Is this some kind of lame joke? (10 minutes ago)

-Pershka: If I don't see you in the hallway by 9:59, don't ever come to the student council office again!! (Just now)

"—Gah!"

Lu Wenjun turned his head sharply and saw that the minute hand was pointing to 9:56. He immediately let out a duck-like quack. Mingxiao tossed him a dried pig sandwich and encouraged him, "Youth is short, keep it up, young man."

"It's half your fault that it's this short! But thank you for the breakfast anyway!!"

This was Lu Wenjun's first time attempting to change clothes and eat while flying high in the air, and his efficiency under pressure reached an astonishing 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Just three minutes later, he pushed open the window in his monster form and used ninja-like continuous rolling to land in front of a pair of familiar little leather boots.

"On time!" Lu Wenjun said breathlessly, wiping the bread crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

The witch looked down at the non-combustible garbage with a condescending gaze.