The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

They talked about travel and faraway places, and Faris took the opportunity to slip into the kitchen and say, "Give me some beans and sweet water to feed the horses."

Lu Wenjun was chopping yams and vegetable leaves with both hands at the same time, almost frantically busy: "What kind of delicate breed is this horse that it needs to drink sweet water?!"

Faris glanced outside: "I reckon it's a rare breed born from Eriel's ancestor and the sea god, scientifically known as Pegasus."

Lu Wenjun let out a loud cry, as if he had been shot by an arrow. At that moment, a bright red skull appeared outside the window. Old Fa sneaked around to the back of the tavern.

He handed a large bag of fruits and vegetables through the window: "Take these for now, there will be more later!"

Lu Wenjun took the bag, rummaged through it for a while, took out a plate of fuzzy stuff, washed it, and put it in the pot to cook: "The beans are ready!"

“This is fucking edamame!” Faris exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Edamame is better than no beans at all!” Lu Wenjun retorted. “There’s only one jar of honey. If we use it to feed the horses, we can’t use it for cooking. See if you can find any other sweet drinks.”

"Damn you."

Faris spent ages rummaging around in the kitchen before finally finding something related to sweet water deep in the ice cellar. A few minutes later, he appeared before Pegasus with a plate of boiled edamame and a plate of bubbling, clear water, flashing an exceptionally fawning smile.

Pegasus looked down for a long time, gazing at him with his big, wet eyes.

"It's a joyous occasion today, so I'll treat you to some imported goods," Faris said. "These moldy beans are from an ancient country, and this plate is our American Tian Shan Snow Lotus sparkling sweet water, commonly known as Sprite. Every bite is delicious!"

Pegasus used its tongue to pry open the pods and ate a few salted edamame beans, seemingly finding them acceptable.

It licked a mouthful of sweet water. Then it licked a mouthful of sweet water. Then it licked a mouthful of sweet water again.

“I told you the big market choice wouldn’t go wrong.” Faris breathed a sigh of relief and placed the bottle in front of Pegasus. “If you want more, pour yourself some. Call me if you need anything.”

The horse flapped its wing at him and continued licking the sweet water. Faris hurried into the tavern—two more people came in, and he quickly ushered them to seats—then ran into the kitchen.

"There are five chefs already! It's unreasonable to only serve them a cold tomato salad."

"Once it's ready, hurry up and take it over!"

Lu Wenjun quickly brought over four small plates. Faris took a closer look and saw that they contained crispy and fragrant peanuts, steamed yam drizzled with blueberry sauce, cabbage and bell peppers mixed with vinegar, and pork cracklings served with shredded onions and soy sauce.

"...Chef, aren't our snacks for drinking a bit too tacky?"

"This is a timeless classic!" Lü Wenjun slapped his thigh. "I'm so busy I wish I had three heads and six arms, where would I find the time to make Western-style cold dishes? Just bring this! If that's not enough, bring bread and butter!"

Faris braced himself and brought the side dishes to the table, saying, "Gentlemen, you're in high spirits. We can't let this empty table go cold. The cook has specially prepared some side dishes for you to enjoy with your drinks!"

The ancient Greeks were startled by the voice, and a young man who had just arrived and was wearing an olive branch crown said, "The waiters and the food and wine today are very... novel."

The young man was quite strong, with powerful arms that looked as if he could kill a bull with a single punch. Yet his demeanor was refined and polite, with a kingly air about him.

The other new guest, though middle-aged, retained his noble air in the slightest. His eyes held composure and wisdom; he glanced at the captain's expression and then narrowed them knowingly.

“King of Athens, this is the custom of the ancient lands,” the middle-aged man said. “I have traveled to that distant continent and witnessed the lives of the people of the East. They delight in serving wine with crispy fried food, and their waiters always speak in such a pleasant tone.”

The king smiled and grabbed a handful of peanuts: "Our knowledgeable strategist is always so insightful! This simple dish has a unique flavor that reminds me of when I traveled alone."

"Who among us has not left our hometown, who has not endured hardships?" The strategist ate pork cracklings with a fork. "In a foreign land, a piece of dried meat is a rare delicacy—especially since this crispy meat is made so exquisitely, it surpasses even my former royal chef."

The strategist ate a few more bites, his expression softening. He had initially tried to smooth things over, but then realized that although the dishes were simple, they tasted quite good.

The captain nudged him with his elbow: "You're always the man with the most authority, because you've endured more hardship and setbacks than most of us, to the point that they wrote such a thick and wonderful book of poems specifically to sing your story! You've practically become synonymous with adventure!"

“My friends, I always say this is so unfair,” the King of Athens joked. “We all risk our lives, but the poets always just harp on his stories.”

"Perhaps it's because people always love stories about wise men," the strategist smiled.

"Well, this boastful man is at it again, bragging about his wisdom!"

Laughter and cheerful conversation filled the table as Faris quietly retreated to the kitchen, wiping away sweat.

“If it weren’t for the king’s good manners,” he said, “if it weren’t for the fact that your dish was actually quite good, I would have already flipped the table, I’m telling you.”

As soon as Lao Fa delivered the second large package, Lü Wenjun, who was simultaneously dealing with three pots and two jars, asked, "Who came?"

Faris clicked his tongue repeatedly: "It sounds like the guy from The Odyssey, or the one who goes through a maze with a ball of yarn."

Lu Wenjun turned around immediately, his words almost pleading: "Are you a good cook? Let me go out and greet them! I want to be a waiter!!"

"Hurry up and cook your dishes! If you do a good job, you might still have a chance to meet your idol. If you don't, I'll come and beat you up!" Faris tried to stop him. "I can see there are more and more people here. How many dishes have you cooked yet?"

"We have vegetarian dishes and soups, but the meat dishes will depend on Versa's performance on the spot."

They all glanced at their watches; it was 6:55, leaving Versa with less than 20 minutes. Even if Versa returned with the prey on time, everyone would probably be seated by then. What would they do if some unreasonable celebrity wanted the meat?

Faris, unaware of the situation, simply took his radish with sauce, fried small fish, and sesame squash out. Meanwhile, a large group of guests arrived one after another: a huntress carrying a bow and arrow, a hunter with a club, a doctor leaning on a snake-headed staff, strikingly similar twin brothers, and many more people he recognized but couldn't name…

So many important figures dazzled him that the tavern quickly became too crowded, so he hurriedly moved the tables, chairs, and tableware outside so that the heroes could sit in the open air.

The sky was now completely dark, the starlight twinkled faintly, and the moonlight was still nowhere to be seen. Since the midterm exams, it seemed every night was like this, pitch black with only a sliver of light, like the faint hope before people's eyes.

It was 7:5, and almost all the tables in the tavern were full, with only one chair remaining empty. Guests ate snacks and mulled wine, many with curious looks in their eyes. Despite the harpist's best efforts to play soothing music, some couldn't help but ask questions.

The man was a proud and valiant warrior, clad in full armor and carrying an exquisitely beautiful shield. He said, "A feast shouldn't consist only of wine and fruits; when will our main course begin?"

Faris was practically tongue-tied, but even a cornered dog will jump over a wall. Hearing this, a clever idea struck him: "My lord," he said, "we believe that a feast should begin with the arrival of the most distinguished guest. May I ask, has tonight's greatest and bravest guest arrived yet?"

People all looked at the empty chair, which was sandwiched between the King of Athens and the Pegasus rider. It was the largest, widest, and best chair.

“He hasn’t arrived yet!” The young general nodded upon hearing this. “Your considerations are very reasonable. It is never appropriate to rush into the opening ceremony before he arrives.”

After the general finished speaking, he sat down, and no one around him urged him on. Faris couldn't help but wonder what kind of person was yet to arrive who could calm such a proud man down.

He started checking his watch frequently. 7:10, 7:13, Vilsa still hadn't returned, but he could hear unfamiliar footsteps in the distance.

The last guest arrived.

The saying "you hear the sound before you see the person" couldn't be more fitting for this distinguished guest. Even before he approached, people could hear his footsteps, heavy and powerful, like the drumsticks of a giant striking the earth. His drum-like footsteps drew closer, and Faris hurried forward to greet him, joined by many other guests.

He saw a ferocious lion.

Its deep red whiskers bristled wildly, like the bursting of the rising sun; ferocity and cruelty were condensed in its black, abyssal eyes, transformed into gems of violence. The lion's hide bore the marks of power, as if magma, thunder, and storms were sealed within its muscles. It was savagery, malice, an incomprehensible beast that destroyed life and destiny; one glance was enough to assure one that no weapon or magic could harm this lion, no means could stop its brutality!

Faris nearly screamed, his survival instinct urging him to turn and flee. But he stood still, for footsteps drew closer, and the visitor approached the light. That one step was all it took for him to finally see the truth.

The ferocious beast that came towards them was nothing more than a skin!

The lion's skin was completely removed and used to make a helmet, shoulder armor, and a magnificent cloak. The man dressed in lion skin approached, the light illuminating his steely muscles and godlike handsome face.

He towered over all the guests present, his nearly four-meter height making the tavern look like a small wooden box. His powerful arms, supported by broad shoulders, possessed a strength capable of supporting the heavens and the earth. He carried a thick, ancient wooden club, and on his back lay an enormous bow, as sturdy as a siege weapon.

He carried such immense power, yet possessed a pair of calm eyes. It was those eyes that allowed people to clearly distinguish him from a lion, and prevented those before him from easily fleeing.

The King of Athens raised his cup to him from afar and laughed, "Great hero, you're too late!"

The enormous man curled the corners of his mouth and let out a low, benevolent laugh.

“I always get confused about the pathways between these secret realms,” he said. “I set off early, but I went the wrong way again and stumbled upon a mad god from another land, so I had to shoot him down with my bow. It’s all my fault for being so slow and making everyone wait so long. Now that everyone is here, let’s raise our glasses and celebrate, and share this feast!”

The guests all turned to look at Faris, who let out a silent scream towards the kitchen. At that moment, Lü Wenjun strode out, his face dry, though paler than usual.

He met everyone's gaze, looked up at this distinguished last guest, and said, "I hope you heroes will wait a little longer, as the main course for the banquet has not yet begun to be cooked."

Upon hearing this, even the most patient customer was not entirely satisfied. The man in the lion skin looked at him and said, "The owner of this tavern should have given some instructions beforehand."

"As you said."

"So you know that so many people are coming tonight. And it seems very unreasonable that you didn't prepare in advance."

Lu Wenjun said loudly, "The hospitable Mr. Cabone prepared a large amount of food well in advance. However, I took it upon myself to throw away all the meat and fish!"

The man in the lion-skin gave an "oh," looking at him strangely. Lü Wenjun continued, "Although the meat and fish tasted delicious, they were slaughtered several days ago. How could such old, decaying corpses be offered to such great heroes as you! Therefore, we sent hunters specifically to find offerings for our distinguished guests—"

At exactly 7:15, the tavern's back door was slammed open with a loud bang. Vilsa, drenched in sweat, threw several enormous, heavy objects to the ground: "They're here!"

The pungent smell of blood instantly filled the banquet hall. It was the corpses of demonic boars, bison, and deer, their heads dented from being brutally beaten with fists, and undried blood and brain matter spreading on the ground.

Lu Wenjun remained expressionless, bent down and scooped up a handful of beast blood, saying, "The most powerful bones and muscles, the flesh and blood that are still beating!"

Chapter 87 Mysterious Farmhouse Dishes of an Ancient Kingdom

The man in the lion-skin bent down, picked up a bit of pig's blood with his fingertip, and put it in his mouth.

“This beast was alive 300 breaths ago,” he said. “I believe you did your best for this prey. However, you should at least hear our opinion on how to cook this delicious meat.”

“That’s how it should be,” Lü Wenjun said.

The man turned his head and asked, "Such rare and excellent meat, what kind of flavor would you like?"

Suddenly, opinions began to flow freely. The women, led by the huntress, preferred honey-sweet flavors; the young warrior wanted crispy fried food; the strategist and others wanted sour flavors to cool them down; and the captain thought it was best to eat it with fragrant vegetables.

Faris silently made the sign of the cross on his chest and began to pray for the three brothers in advance. Chef Lü would have to cook at least four kinds of meat, and the heroes who were relegated to the back of the list probably wouldn't be very happy.

The man in the lion-skin listened patiently and then asked, "Have you understood all these opinions?"

“No problem,” Lü Wenjun smiled. “It’s so late, we can’t keep our distinguished guests waiting any longer. I’ll prepare a dish that will satisfy everyone!”

Now the man became curious: "Young magician, you must understand. Lying in front of people like us is very inappropriate."

"The gods bear witness, this is absolutely true. If you don't mind the fumes, I can cook right here for your amusement."

The lively ancient Greeks thought it was a brilliant idea, so someone provided fire and built a stove, eagerly watching how the young man would jump step by step into the pit he had dug for himself.

"Velsa, help cut the pork. Faris, you just put the meat into the magic tool, and leave the rest to me," Lu Wenjun instructed.

So Versa used her iron hand as a knife to carefully tear the demon pork into pieces according to the desired cuts. Faris simply placed the large chunks of meat into the magical tool, which, prepared by Huther, worked flawlessly, completing all the processing steps, including plucking hair, removing acid, and washing, in less than three seconds, transforming the raw meat into excellent food.

Lü Wenjun first heated a wok with oil, and while the oil was still hot, he coated the pork tenderloin inside and out with salt and pepper. He then coated the tenderloin with a batter made of potato starch and oil, and deep-fried it until it changed color. He then deep-fried it twice more, until the starch puffed up with tempting white bubbles and the meat slices turned a deep, ripe red.

The aroma of fried food had already filled the air, and the general laughed, "In the end, you still listened to my opinion first."

"It's not finished yet, take another look," the strategist said. "It has a sour and sweet taste."

Lu Wenjun then took out sugar, white vinegar, dark soy sauce, and fresh tomatoes, mixing them to create a deep red sauce. Immediately, everyone smelled the sweet aroma, which blended with the tartness of the fresh fruits and vegetables, creating a mouthwatering sweet and sour flavor.

He started a second pot, adding shredded scallions, ginger, minced garlic, and shredded carrots. The spices, enhanced by the high temperature, released an enticing aroma.

“That’s how you get the flavor of spices,” the captain said with satisfaction. “It’s an essential ingredient in cooking!”

After the oil in the pan is fragrant, add the sauce and simmer until bright golden bubbles appear. Wait until the sauce thickens, then add the fried meat slices and continue to stir-fry until each piece of meat is fully coated with the sauce.

Pile the meat onto the plate like bricks, making sure it's completely full, until the white edge of the plate is covered. Add some cilantro, plate it, and it's ready to serve!

Lu Wenjun brought out a plate full of meat: "Please enjoy!"

The aroma wafted out naturally, a slightly pungent sourness bringing out the sweetness of white sugar, perfectly blending with the scents of meat, oil, and spices, making one's appetite whetted just by smelling it. The man with the lion skin picked up a piece and chewed it slowly, the crisp sound of the coating breaking apart in his mouth audible.

"Hehehe, is it delicious?" the captain asked impatiently.

"My friend, I need to try it again before I can make a judgment."

He ate another piece, then another, and the plate was soon emptied under the scrutinizing gazes of the onlookers. Then he said slowly, "I need to try another plate before I can make a judgment..."

"Great, he's trying to get away with it!" "No need to taste it, serve the food." "Everyone, let's eat!"

The man in the lion skin laughed, and Lü Wenjun quickly brought out plates of the replicated meat. He cheerfully called out, "Sorry to keep you all waiting, let's eat!"

Finally, the main course for entertaining guests was served in the center of the large table, followed by a series of novel dishes: fried eggplant, potatoes, and green beans stir-fried together in a thick sauce; large shrimp balls coated in a thin batter and fried with green peppers; fresh mixed mushrooms and fatty chicken stewed together; balloon-shaped eggs wrapped with sweet red beans; and fresh pig's blood boiled into tofu-like pieces, and fatty meat sliced ​​as thin as paper, stewed with sour pickled vegetables and oysters until a snow-white soup was made.

Every dish on the table was richly seasoned and generously portioned. The strong flavors and fresh ingredients brought smiles to the faces of the guests.

The general praised, "If a warrior were to gallop across the battlefield for ten days and ten nights, fighting the enemy until he was exhausted, what would satisfy him is precisely this kind of food and wine!"

The strategist asked with a smile, "General who is invincible and hard to harm, have you gone to another battlefield? Seeking yet another battle that will bring you joy?"

“Wise King, you always see through what others are thinking so easily.” The general took a big gulp of wine. “Three days and nights ago, I returned from the Battle Market. I defeated the giants of the Nine Realms, triumphed over the judges of the Spirit Palace, slew generals and captured flags, and won battle after battle—but I never expected to encounter that god-like ape that could ride the clouds.”

The man in the lion skin spoke up: "The benevolent blessing your mother prayed for is of no use to that warlike Buddha."

"I was ultimately defeated by him, feeling both disappointed and overjoyed. My martial arts skills were never at their peak, but I still fought him for dozens of rounds!"

The captain said, “My friends, the destination is the most boring word in the world. Isn’t it wonderful to still have a goal to strive for?”

"Exactly!" "Indeed." "To the future and the road ahead!"

The heroes clinked glasses in a toast, while the cooks and waiters quietly retreated to the back.

"You succeeded?" Vilsa wiped his sweat. "Sorry, I was in too much of a rush and didn't pay attention to where I was going."

Lu Wenjun wiped his sweat and said, "It's nothing serious, damn it. They seem to be having a great time eating. It should be fine."

"You fucking dare to think like that? Is there anyone like you?" Faris glared. "When Greek heroes have a gathering, you serve a table full of Northeastern Chinese dishes!"

The complex-flavored fried pork that the heroes praised was officially called "Guobaorou" (sweet and sour pork). After that came three dishes: stir-fried potatoes, eggplant, and green peppers; stir-fried shrimp; chicken stew with mushrooms; snow-white red bean paste; and a big pot of stewed pork...

You can find the exact same dishes in restaurants in the northern part of ancient China, and the plates might even be a size bigger than those on our tables today. Two dishes and a steamed bun would be enough for two strong men to eat a whole meal, guaranteed to fill them up.

"The portions are large, delicious, and filling, so this is the best choice! With so little time, how can you make sweet and sour carp or braised duck legs? No way!" Lu Wenjun said. "Moreover, there are specific considerations when choosing Northeastern dishes. Many of these dishes have only been around for the last one or two hundred years, and the flavors are fusion-style. Foreign guests will find them novel and to their liking, and enjoy their meal."

"Fine, the food is delicious, so you're right... What are you going to do with those chives?"