The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

"Alright, alright, let's take a picture of Xiaoling!" A malicious laugh.

Lu Wenjun put down the magazine, stood up, turned around, and then hissed like a cobra.

Standing in the foyer, Ms. Reiko was dressed in the most classic and standard attire. The white, sack-like garment covered her from head to toe, leaving only rough openings around her eyes and mouth—undoubtedly the most classic ghost cosplay outfit…

However! This outfit has two deliberately unnatural design elements! Most of the garment is loose, except for the chest and hip areas, which are excessively tight, forcing the wearer to stand awkwardly against their thighs. Yet, the transparency of these crucial areas is unbelievably "high," allowing glimpses of flesh to be seen under light. The fabric's outline reveals a full figure completely, and the contrast of the fabric's folds creates an incredibly alluring effect.

This outfit is strikingly similar to the erotic illustrations he designed to defraud Mingxiao back then. This is undoubtedly the kind of sexy ghost outfit that can only be seen in a few obscure works that skirt the edge of eroticism!

Ling Gong, dressed in her ghost costume, twisted in confusion: "Wen Jun, do I look scary now?"

"Terrifying! Absolutely terrifying!!" Lü Wenjun clutched his chest tightly. "I almost cried the moment you came out!!"

"Is that so...?"

Miss Hisamitsu was taking pictures with the jade pendant from various angles. Lu Wenjun hurriedly gave her the middle finger in disdain and said in a rapid-fire manner: "Seriously, the shock was too strong. It was just like being startled in real life. My blood pressure and body temperature were soaring just now, and my heart rate was almost 130!"

"But why do I sense an evil aura..."

“Even the phantom spirits from the original text that I carry with me are starting to stir. Their expressions are as warm as if they’ve seen a fellow countryman!” Lu Wenjun tried to persuade her. “Ling Gong, you really can’t wear this. If you wear this out, it will most likely cause a terrible incident. What if the old men and women passing by have a heart attack from fright? You should change into something else!”

Linggong hesitated a bit: "But the design of the other one feels a bit outdated."

"The classics are the best, please stop scaring me here."

"Alright, let's be sympathetic to the poor, timid little boy~" Hisamitsu chuckled to himself.

Ling Gong went into the bathroom to change clothes with some doubt. Lu Wenjun immediately sprang up, returned to the living room, silently recited Buddhist scriptures to calm his heart rate, and picked up the disguised magazine again until the bathroom door opened again.

He saw the pointed witch's hat, the deep purple robe, and the wooden cane. Ling Gong felt around the brim of the hat and saw two fox ears peeking out from a specially drilled hole.

"It feels so tacky..."

"So cute!" Lu Wenjun gave a thumbs up. "You'll leave a lasting impression of this witchy older sister on any child who passes by."

Ling Gong was still hesitating: "Isn't it a bit redundant for a magician to dress up as a witch?"

“How could that be? This is what a magic school should look like. Stay in this pose and don’t move. Pull your hat brim down a little lower, and I’ll take a nice close-up of you—” Lü Wenjun held up the jade pendant.

Hisamitsu whispered loudly, "Reimu, the nerd is looking at you with a really disgusting look."

"Thank you, Wenjun. That's enough trying on this outfit."

"Can you trust me a little more?"

Miss Hisamitsu mentioned that she also had a treasured mummy costume and a dancer's outfit, but Reiyumi sensed something strange in her tone and decisively declined. Finally, she left the Water Mirror Garden with the witch's outfit, looking at the photos she had taken.

"The surprise is quite good!" Linggong exclaimed. "I thought it would be some kind of weird design."

"I told you you're cute, but you still didn't believe me. I don't lie about serious topics like this."

"Wenjun, you shouldn't just say things like 'pretty' or 'cute' to girls like that," Linggong sighed.

She flipped through the pages and found only snapshots of classroom blackboard writing. She asked, "Where are the photos of the ghost costume?"

“I didn’t take any pictures,” Lü Wenjun said seriously. “We normal people don’t save ghost pictures on our phones.”

Linggong tapped him twice, neither too hard nor too soft. He bid farewell to Linggong and returned to the Water Mirror Garden, where he shook hands firmly with Hisamitsu, who was smiling sinisterly.

“You’re such a despicable person,” Lü Wenjun said with deep emotion.

Hisamitsu also expressed his sincere praise: "Your level of trashiness has reached a new high in my mind."

"I'll keep it a secret, so please let me see the photos at least once," Lu Wenjun said shamelessly. "By the way, what did you buy? And why did you make Linggong go all the way here..."

"This is a troublesome cursed magical artifact. It will disappear on its own if left unattended. Someone has to deliver it to me personally."

Hisamitsu opened the bag, glanced at it, and smiled with satisfaction. Then, her gaze sharpened like a knife, revealing a cold, malicious glint.

"Nerd, nerd, nerd yo~" Miss Hisamitsu drawled, "You enjoyed watching that, didn't you? Now it's time for you to pay hush money~"

Lu Wenjun's hair stood on end: "What kind of wicked scheme are you up to now, you vixen?!"

Hisamitsu flipped his wrist, revealing a close-up of someone staring at the sexy ghost, blushing: "What a shocking truth! A certain harmless junior is actually a pervert who tricks classmates into wearing sexy lingerie. I wonder what Akira will think of you after he finds out~~"

"You still have the nerve to threaten me?! That disgusting, scumbag with such a twisted sense of humor is clearly yourself!!"

"You stood by and did nothing, making you an accomplice," Hisamitsu sneered. "Now, pay your price!"

"Using an innocent female student as a pretext, you're truly despicable," Lü Wenjun reprimanded sternly. "What are you doing?"

"Make use of one of your few special skills. Afterwards, come with me on a trip, and if you discover anything unusual, immediately take me back to the Water Mirror Pavilion."

"Are you kidding me? You legendary magician made me run errands..." Lu Wenjun started to say, then looked up in horror, "You're going out?! You?!"

If you were to conduct a survey asking who the most hopeless shut-in in the entire school is, 99% of the students would answer Polly from the Millennium Cave, while only a few well-informed individuals like Lü Wenjun would write down the name Jingyue Jiuguang. This is because even Polly has gone out to attend a hot pot party, while Jiuguang has never even worn an outfit outside, let alone gone out!

She was a model of someone who never left her home, once holding the record of staying in her room for three consecutive months. Even under normal circumstances, she would only leave the house once every two or three days. The two short staircases from her bedroom to the dining room were probably the longest distance she had ever walked in her life.

How could a plant that died at home suddenly want to go outside? Has the sky fallen??

“I’m not socially awkward, of course I want to go out sometimes.” Hisamitsu glanced at him sideways. “Let me change my clothes.”

"No malicious intent, but do you really have any outside service?" Lü Wenjun asked.

"Yes...maybe."

"Look at yourself, you sound so skeptical."

After nearly half an hour of fussing, Miss Hisamitsu finally came downstairs wearing an extremely plain hoodie and sweatpants. She carefully unpacked the package that Reiko had brought, put on a small piece of gray cloth-like veil, and then reached out to Lü Wenjun.

Lu Wenjun was completely baffled and asked sincerely, "Do I have to use a rope to lead you?"

"I told you to take me with you, you idiot!" Hisamitsu poked him hard. "Did your emotional intelligence get eaten by a dog?"

Lu Wenjun was shocked: "Huh? When did our relationship become this close? Did I lose my memory without realizing it?"

"I'm really curious how Pershka and the others have managed to hold back until now without murdering you." Hisamitsu chuckled angrily. "Stop talking nonsense and hurry up!"

Lu Wenjun had no choice but to carefully lead Jiuguang out the door, his movements gentle and polite, like a good young man helping an old lady pass by.

He was extremely vigilant during the short ten-minute walk from the Water Mirror Pavilion, fearing that one of the news reporters might suddenly pass by and take another undeniable photo of him. Hisamitsu was even more nervous, constantly glancing left and right, like a thief fleeing from justice.

"I mean, is going out really that scary?"

"I'm too lazy to talk to you, you wouldn't understand anyway," Hisamitsu said irritably. "You'd better be on your toes right now and follow my orders."

Completely bewildered, Lü Wenjun helped her out of the bamboo grove and onto the Philosophy Avenue that ran through the academy. It wasn't yet the end of the second period, and there weren't many students on the road. They were either chatting with friends or reading on benches, and no one paid any attention to the two ordinary new members who had appeared above the slope.

He clearly heard Hisamitsu exhale, a hint of expectation in his eyes. At the same moment, a girl who had grown tired of reading looked into the distance and caught sight of the two of them out of the corner of her eye.

She stood frozen in place, motionless.

It was a very strange reaction, because the two were dozens of meters apart, and Hisamitsu was wearing a hood and a veil. It didn't seem like the girl had used a vision-enhancing spell; at most, he could only catch a glimpse of a blurry gray outline. But she insisted on looking at him, staring so intently, her face flushed, and her lips moved excitedly.

“It’s so beautiful,” she said.

The focused exclamations reached the ears of those around them, drawing their attention. Then, the virus called stillness spread; they stopped talking, abandoned everything they were doing. In that instant, Lü Wenjun saw a dozen pairs of focused eyes, their expressions both eager and captivated, like thirsty travelers in the desert finding an oasis.

"It's so beautiful!" people exclaimed.

Then, longing turned into impulse. Yearning became desire. Overly intense emotions made people's eyes red, and regardless of age or gender, they reached out to those on the slope. "Can I get to know you?" "What's your name, miss?" "Let's go for a cup of tea." "I know a really nice shop." "Your name is—"

Before a dozen or so words could even escape their lips, people were already rushing down the slope. Strengthening their limbs, growing wings, they accelerated with the wind, using their fastest speed to reach for that unparalleled beauty. That was the most beautiful person in the world. Uniquely beautiful. They wanted to love her, marry her, and spend their lives with her, growing old together—!

(Meme contamination! Continental-level meme contamination!!)

Suddenly he heard the prophet Sheen scream, a voice filled with utter panic: (Agent, what's going on?!)

(I will handle it.) Lü Wenjun answered subconsciously.

Hisamitsu smiled broadly, eagerly leaning forward, trying to break free from Lü Wenjun's grasp and face the extremely enthusiastic worshippers. Lü Wenjun immediately understood why she had made that request earlier. He transformed into a spring-legged being, activating the messenger god's gift, and dashed towards the bamboo forest at rocket speed.

People only saw a white shadow flash by, and there was nothing above the slope, as if the beautiful figure they had seen earlier was just an illusion. They rushed into the bamboo forest, trying to find the beauty's figure among the bamboo shadows, but they could not enter the barrier surrounding the Water Mirror Pavilion and could only sigh in frustration.

Lu Wenjun flung open the door and dragged Jiu Guang back to the Water Mirror Pavilion. Jiu Guang seemed to have recovered by now; she threw the veil on the ground and said angrily, "I knew it wouldn't work this time!"

Lu Wenjun was still shaken; the looks those people gave him filled him with fear. He remained silent for a moment, then asked, "What exactly happened to you?"

"Didn't I already tell you?" Hisamitsu said irritably, "I am an unparalleled beauty!"

Chapter 92: Being Too Popular is Also a Problem

(You know, I was almost scared to tears just now.) Prophet Sheen was still shaken. (I had just heated up the food when a memetic contamination warning the size of a human head popped up on the monitor. The armory had entered automatic unlocking mode. I ended up feeding my entire dinner to the keyboard.)

(It's not a bad thing to occasionally give your loyal partner a little snack.) Lu Wenjun chuckled.

(That's a continent-level alarm, Agent! If we saw this outside, we could just grab hands and run without the King even saying a word.) Sheen was still shaken. (So what exactly happened? How could something like this happen in the academy...?)

(A legendary mage is conducting spell testing. There might be some contamination involved, so I won't elaborate.)

Sheen quickly covered his ears and muttered, "(Ordinary legends don't have this ability...)"

(Don't underestimate the college's top students.) Lü Wenjun said, (Don't worry, I've got your back.)

Sheen gave a few instructions and left, not daring to inquire further. After the battle against the Outer Gods, she had a full understanding of her partner's abilities: the agent could slay gods even at the level of the Heretic, making him a true veteran and top-tier expert. In matters like on-site judgment, listening to him was always the right thing to do.

And all the agent can do is "watch," otherwise what else can he do?

The three-story building he was staying in was a veritable den of monsters. His two roommates were a physical and a mental bomb, and he, the poor newbie at the very bottom of the hierarchy, was likely just a cushion under their feet, responsible for serving them tea and water and letting out emotionally charged screams when they exploded.

Lu Wenjun carried the mixed fish soup out of the kitchen. Another bombshell had returned ten minutes earlier and was now making heartfelt laughs.

"When will you ever learn your lesson?" Mingxiao said gloatingly. "I just got home and saw a bunch of people in the bamboo forest looking completely disoriented. I'm afraid the outside world will be like a living dead for the next couple of days."

"A useless loser who can't resist beautiful girls!" Hisamitsu slammed his fist on the table in anger. "His mental fortitude is even weaker than that of a perverted otaku!"

“First of all, I’m not a lecher.” Lu Wenjun served soup to the two of them. “Secondly, you’re the least qualified person in this academy to call others shut-ins. Can any kind soul tell me what’s going on? To be honest, it’s kind of scary.”

Mingxiao took a delicious sip of soup and said, "It's a blessing."

"...I'm ignorant, is this what you call a blessing?"

"Aren't there always those fairy tales about blessings?" Mingxiao mimicked a magic wand with her chopsticks. "A noble little princess has been born, and fairies are all offering her gifts. I will bestow upon her unparalleled beauty! I will give her a noble and aloof temperament! I will grant her unparalleled charm! And all sorts of other things like being popular with men and being loved by everyone, and then, after combining all these wonderful wishes..."

She drew a circle in the air towards Hisamitsu, who had a sour face: "Then it will become a disaster-level super succubus."

Hisamitsu retorted angrily: "Pah!"

"Are princesses in fairy tales really this terrifying?!" Lü Wenjun exclaimed in shock.

“Fantasy stories have a lot of plot holes anyway.” Mingxiao eats fish. “The heroine is loved by everyone and flowers bloom for her. She always gets help even from strangers. That’s psychological suggestion. The prince and king, who are of noble birth and should have seen countless beauties, fall in love with her at first sight. That’s powerful charm. The animals and nature always help her. You know best about that. That’s divine influence.”

She concluded: "From a magician's perspective, it's easy to conclude that every little princess and village woman is a cunning master of assimilation magic, waiting for the right moment to seduce those in power and rise to the top."

“Pershka would probably take this seriously if he heard that,” Lü Wenjun said.

"Just kidding, don't tell the little witch this." Mingxiao tapped him with her rabbit ears. "Jiuguang's problem is a bit more complicated, but that's basically it. Apart from those with real strength and nerves of steel like yours, there's basically no possibility of normal communication. You'd be caught off guard with just one look."

"This is too much..."

No wonder Ling Gong had to be blindfolded when she came before. If she had actually seen Hisamitsu, a tragic scene of a female fox demon pursuing a shut-in girl would probably have unfolded in the Water Mirror Garden.

And now he finally understood why Hisamitsu had acted so strangely upon their first meeting. The memetic-level allure was completely ineffective against a man so close at hand—that would surprise anyone…

"Wait, wait." Lu Wenjun's spoon hovered at his mouth. "Why am I okay? Shouldn't a young, strong college student like me be yelling and lunging at her the moment I see her?"

Both bombers looked at him with subtle expressions.

“How would I know where Mingxiao found such a freak like you?” Jiuguang said. “You mean that one, right? The mythical blessing or the resistance to divine mechanisms? That divine power that analyzes the original text, which we didn’t ask you about and didn’t explain in detail…”

"Okay, I let it slip. Let's skip this topic."

"Okay." "Let's eat."

Everyone tacitly agreed not to bring up the topic again. Just as Lü Wenjun never asked her senior about the bloody human sacrifice past, they wouldn't pry into their roommates' secrets.

Those who live in this house are all people with secrets, and the minimum requirement for cohabitation is to never pry into other people's affairs unless absolutely necessary.

While cleaning up after dinner, Lü Wenjun found the bag containing the veil in the trash can. He asked Jiuguang, "Don't you want it anymore?"

"Why keep something useless?" Hisamitsu waved his hand. "It's a disposable item anyway, and I almost used up all my magic power that time. If you're interested, you can keep it yourself."

The gray veil felt as soft as flowing water; it must have been an expensive magical artifact. Lü Wenjun put it away, looked at his notes in the living room for a while, then went upstairs to the third floor and asked, "Want to play games?"

"I'm writing, I don't have time," Hisamitsu said through the door. "It was just a spur-of-the-moment attempt, there's no need to show such blatant sympathy."

"I don't have the time to care about you. I just played a couple of games to relax after studying."

"I'll talk about it when I have time."

Lu Wenjun had no choice but to go downstairs, giving Mingxiao a helpless look. He mouthed, "Why did you suddenly want to go out?"

"It's because the holiday is coming soon, right?" Mingxiao mouthed in response. Even an older, reclusive person like him sometimes wants to watch the excitement.

Lu Wenjun recalled how lively Ling Gong had been when she carried her makeup clothes earlier, and suddenly understood.