Nobody knows how to be a villain better than me.

Nobody Knows How to Be a Villain Better Than Me (Author: Purple Night String Song)

This book is also known as *The King of the Type-Moon Pot* and *The Hours Are Saved*.

In ancient mythology, there was a shadowy figure that circled the world, looking up and waiting for the day it would devour the gods.

It once tricked the hero-king Gilgamesh into breaking with the gods and orchestrated the return of the great calamity Tiamat;

It once undermined the authority of Olympus and seduced Athena, the goddess of wisdom, into raising the banner of rebellion;

It once abducted Skadi, the goddess of winter, bringing shame upon Asgard and ushering in Ragnarok, the beginning of the Norse gods' twilight.

It even instigated the war between Britain and the White Dragon, leading Joan of Arc to her downfall.

Therefore, it has been given many extremely prestigious titles.

"[Shadow of Babylonian Terror], [Aegean Catastrophe]!"

[The Nightmare of Asgard], [The Seven-Headed, Ten-Horned World-Destroying Demon]!! [The Messiah's Nemesis], [The Original Sin of This World]!!!!!

We all did bad things together, so why am I the only one who suffers?

However, a man named Tokiomi Tohsaka summoned him with a snakeskin.

Lin Xian (Samael) watched as the magician warily shielded his daughters behind him, and he understood...

I'll take the blame for all of this!

Chapter One: Dragging Out the Soup

When the autumn wind blows, the three snakes grow fat.

As a seasoned foodie, Lin Xian had long craved the legendary Chrysanthemum Three-Snake Soup, which was said to be sweet, refreshing, and rich without being greasy, when she worked in Guangzhou in her previous life.

However, he lacked both the courage and the time, which became a major regret for him.

In this life, the merciful fate seemed to have heard its own call. As soon as it opened its eyes, it saw someone across from it stewing snake soup.

At this moment, the firewood was burning brightly, and the water in the pot had already boiled.

On the opposite grass, a blond-haired, red-eyed young man with a cold and aloof face, as perfect as a marble sculpture, was idly chopping side dishes with a scimitar inlaid with rubies.

Within the hazy mist, chunks of onion, parsley leaves, and diced mushrooms, tossed into the pot, simmered and tumbled, releasing an enticing aroma in harmony with the various base spices.

It looks so delicious...

Ouch! No, it's truly cruel!

As Lin Xian was scalded by a drop of hot water, he hurriedly swallowed and tried to hiss and gasp for air to relieve the pain in his respiratory tract caused by the pepper.

Someone looked down at the scalding soup pot below, then glanced at their own slender body hanging from the rack. Their wandering thoughts were pulled back to the harsh reality, and they couldn't help but roar in frustration.

Hey! Is there some mistake here?

I want to eat snake soup, not be cooked into snake soup!

That's right, the ingredients are already in the pot, and we're just waiting for this main ingredient.

Lin Xian raised the tip of its tail, which had been scalded by boiling water, and looked at its own body covered in mysterious black patterns and layers of cold scales. Its snake head, which was flicking its tongue, had a face full of bitterness and resentment.

Indeed, reality is more surreal.

In his past life, he was an ordinary member of the Chinese nation on Earth.

Faced with the tide of society, Lin Xian chose to honestly work 996 and seek blessings, lying down and letting himself be slaughtered, which can be described as a good leek that is obedient and self-disciplined.

However, adults always have various pressures that they need to release.

As Lu Xun once said, "Either erupt in silence, or become perverted in silence."

Lin Xian is somewhat of the latter. Her favorite way to relieve stress is to write articles online in her spare time to earn some living expenses.

After whetting the readers' appetites, this guy with a wicked sense of humor often chooses to suddenly abandon the story, disappearing amidst a chorus of criticism.

After changing his alias and repeatedly ripping off a large number of readers, the person hiding behind the screen has become accustomed to eating while listening to the angry comments in the comment section, such as sending blades and making pigeon soup.

Yes, she has a great appetite and can eat an extra bowl every day.

However, things don't always go as planned. This wicked pigeon was ultimately punished by the light of righteousness.

An enraged longtime reader, after reading seven or eight mediocre and unfinished eunuch books, could no longer bear it and angrily ripped off the internet cable to rant.

However, due to his novice keyboard warrior level, he couldn't out-argue a certain malicious dead pigeon.

Enraged, this pragmatic and hot-tempered man used hacking skills to pinpoint the pigeon's location, then traveled a long distance to its door and killed it with a kitchen knife.

Until the kitchen knife was plunged into his chest, Lin Xian learned a profound lesson through blood.

Being a pigeon will never end well!

Perhaps it was retribution, but when Lin Xian opened his eyes, although he didn't turn into pigeon soup, he became snake soup that was about to be cooked.

However, he had already paid off his past life's debts with his own.

Therefore, even if Lin Xian was reborn as a snake, he did not lack the will to survive.

The slender figure on the shelf twisted restlessly, struggled several times, and even had a row of scales lifted up.

However, Lin Xian eventually discovers a cruel reality.

It couldn't break free from the rope engraved with strange wedge-shaped symbols.

Lin Xian's nimble tongue swirled in her mouth, and as it approached the two hard, sharp objects, her dark, vertical pupils revealed a hint of self-comforting hypnosis.

It's okay, I'm toxic!

Catching them off guard, it's just a matter of me jumping up and doing a sliding tackle in mid-air!

However, when that sinister shadow loomed over Lin Xian's head, this snake, which had rehearsed its counterattack countless times in its mind, suddenly became like a spicy snack being targeted by an African honey badger.

The instinctive tremor that surged through his heart, and the uncontrollable shaking of his muscles, made his whole body go limp like a lump of mud. He even forgot to react when his tail was scalded by boiling water.

Sliding tackle my ass!

Sliding tackles are usually used to deal with tigers, but this guy on the other side is a monster who can raise tigers and lions like cats!

My professional skills don't match the job requirements!

A nearby hot spring, Mesopotamian cuneiform script, familiar physical features, luxurious gold ornaments weighing at least several kilograms, and an arrogant and sinister smirk playing on his lips…

All these signs, coupled with the scattered memories belonging to the original host in his brain, made even the most naive Lin Xian realize just how terrifying this person was!

That's right, the guy who's going to stew him is none other than Gilgamesh, the Lord of Uruk and the hero-king of ancient Babylonian mythology!

The earliest known heroic epic in the world is the Epic of Gilgamesh, which originated from the Mesopotamian civilization.

This is a hymn to Gilgamesh, the hero who ruled Uruk, the city-state of the Sumerian dynasty in ancient Mesopotamia.

The handsome, aloof blond youth before me is the living legend of the story.

According to the epic, in order to curb the growing power of humanity after excessive reproduction, the ancient gods combined human royalty with goddesses to create a "wedge" for the gods to restrain humanity—Gilgamesh.

As a demigod, he possesses an extremely high divine status, being "two-thirds god and one-third human," as well as the perspectives of both gods and humans.

As a child, Gilgamesh was a highly respected and beloved ideal ruler, possessing the qualities of a king superior to anyone on earth: tolerance, thoughtfulness, justice, and virtue.

Pedestrians on the road all praised him and were captivated by him.

As time passed, several years later Gilgamesh grew from a boy into a young man.

At this moment, Gilgamesh decided to create a torrential downpour to discipline humanity, rather than merely to be a king who governs mankind.

In order to set the standard for humanity, he recklessly fought and amassed wealth.

However, fearing that Gilgamesh was not fulfilling his duty to suppress humanity, the gods created Enkidu, a warrior known as the "Chains of Heaven," to fight against Gilgamesh when he was young.

As adults, in order to demonstrate the wrath of the gods, Gilgamesh was brought back to the side of the gods. The two met and fought, but the battle ended in a draw.

After the battle, Gilgamesh and Enkidu, who had met their equal for the first time, became friends.

To protect Uruk and prevent its people from starving, the two joined forces to defeat the mythical beast "Fenbaba" in the cedar forest, guiding Uruk onto the right path and granting it prosperity.

With Enkidu's assistance, Gilgamesh created a prosperous civilization, thus becoming a great tyrant.

Afterwards, because the two angered the gods, the god Anu sent the strongest divine beast, the Bull of Heaven, to cast them into the human world.

Gilgamesh and Enkidu worked together to defeat the Bull of the Sky, saving the earth from the devastation of the flood.

However, the combined resistance of the "Chains of Heaven" and the "Wedge of Heaven" enraged the gods.

Unable to punish Gilgamesh for some reason, they cursed Enkidu, who could not disobey the gods, to weaken and die as punishment.

Gilgamesh, having lost his dearest friend, was plunged into immense grief and despair.

Having witnessed Enkidu's death, Gilgamesh realized that he too would one day die in the same way, and thus embarked on a journey to the underworld in search of immortality.

He traveled across mountains and rivers, endured all kinds of hardships, and finally met an old man named Napishtim in the underworld, where he obtained the magic herb.

As a son of humankind with flesh and blood, he decided to bring the power of immortality back to the city-state.

On his way back to Uruk, Gilgamesh bathed in a clear spring, freeing his mind and body from all constraints.

However, while he was resting, a snake stole the Immortal Herb and gained the ability to molt and regenerate.

So, that's right.

Lin Xian also became one of the main characters in the epic poem of Gilgamesh…

However, he was the snake that stole the immortal herb.

"You have quite the nerve, daring to swallow what belongs to me, you bastard!"

Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes, stood with his arms crossed, looking down coldly at the world above him. His eyes, like blood-red gems, flashed with a chilling and mocking light.

"Tsk, let's stew you now, the effects should still be there."

Lin Xian felt an uncontrollable tremor run through his body as he stared at the boiling water in the pot, his skin crawling with dread.

It seems I'll soon be transformed from a snake into snake soup.

Chapter Two: The Legendary Pleasure Criminal

The blond-haired, red-eyed figure flicked his finger to hook the loop of the wedge-shaped rune rope, bringing the trembling, writhing snake before him.

The curved blade in his right hand slid down along the newly formed, tiny scales of the reptile, finally stopping at the seven-inch mark.

hiss!

As the knife tip pressed down slightly, the increasingly intense stinging pain caused Lin Xian's heart to contract suddenly, and goosebumps seemed to erupt on his back.

The moment the blade pierced the outer scales, Lin Xian's wildly swirling thoughts suddenly snapped back, his slender neck stiffened, and he let out a series of hisses.

But then, the sinful serpent suddenly realized something, its body paused slightly, and then it became listless and collapsed sadly, as if it had lost all its illusions.

Damn it! We can't communicate!

I hate foreign languages!

I failed this course in my past life, and the CET-4 and CET-6 exams became a lifelong disgrace. And they're still not letting me off the hook in this life!

The frustrated soul could only utter powerless roars within its slender body, using every venomous word to curse its entire female family and relatives.

At this moment, the light in the snake's vertical pupils gradually faded away, as if resigned to its fate.

However, the thief's fierce reaction seemed to pique Gilgamesh's interest.

The hero-king raised his fingertip, drew a wedge symbol in mid-air, and playfully flicked it into the forehead of a sinful serpent.

As the wedge symbol exploded in his consciousness, Lin Xian vaguely felt that a kind of communicative connection seemed to have been established between himself and Gilgamesh in front of him.

"King Gilgamesh, I am willing to pay the fine to cleanse my sins!"

"Thirtyfold compensation!"

In a desperate situation, Lin Xian hissed urgently, uttering a long-brewing murmur to save himself.

Gilgamesh's eyes flashed with disdain as the sinful serpent flickered its tongue in pleading.

"Compensation? What right do you have to negotiate with me, the King?!"

A cold, sluggish nasal voice came, its sharp, knife-like aura sending a chilling, piercing sensation through Lin Xian's snake-like scales, stirring every nerve and muscle in his body.

That power was cruel and domineering, leaving almost nothing with the will to resist.