Nobody knows how to be a villain better than me.

Samael stared at the neat handwriting on the document, tapped his head, and tried to retrieve the relevant information from his vast memory.

However, after much thought, it remains unclear.

Never mind, it's just a name.

Helpless, the ancient snake stopped dwelling on this inexplicable sense of familiarity and turned to look at another equally familiar person, feeling a little curious.

"So, Professor Noel, what are you doing here so late at night? And why are you dressed in monk's robes? Are you cosplaying?"

That's right, the clumsy female cultivator in front of me, to call her a slacker would be an understatement, was someone the Ancient Serpent had met not long ago.

In the afternoon, at the Suiqunyuan College volleyball court, the physical education teacher in charge of the refereeing was named, I think, "Aizen Noyer".

"What cosplay! I'm the real agent! An exorcist dispatched to Fuyuki City by the Holy Church!"

Noel was indignant and immediately pulled out the warm crucifix from his chest to prove his innocence.

"Hey, you saw it too, I was trying my best to save people just now!"

"Yes, your spirit is commendable."

Samael nodded in agreement, but then changed the subject and spoke in a low voice.

"However, we usually call this kind of behavior...buy one get one free..."

"..."

Noel's face stiffened, and she was speechless with anger. She suddenly felt that the man in front of her was more handsome when he was not speaking.

"Exiled?"

"Ah."

As a pitying inquiry reached his ears, Noel nodded instinctively, but then realized something was wrong and looked up in astonishment at the mysterious man before him.

"Wait, how did you know?!"

"Nonsense! When have the Church's frontline agents ever been as incompetent as you? You can even misread a scripture."

Samael rolled his eyes at the seemingly dim-witted female teacher and spoke in an annoyed tone.

"Moreover, in Fuyuki City, let alone a newbie like you who hasn't received any formal training, even an agent who has been in the business for several years would be sent here as a gift!"

As the birthplace of the four Holy Grail Wars and the pseudo-divine age created by Pandora, the concentration of spiritual particles here is self-evident.

Therefore, after the return of the Age of Gods, the monsters that spawn in Fuyuki City are far beyond what ordinary Agents and Magicians can contend with.

For example, tonight's few corrupted gods would wipe out an ordinary agent squad in no time if they encountered them.

But compared to the forces that exist in Fuyuki City, they are not even worth mentioning.

After all, in this godforsaken place, heroes are less than dogs, and gods roam the land. At most, there were seven or eight main gods who just loafed around, and even the mighty Sixth Beast was working at the Puppet House.

Therefore, the Fuyuki City instance, if placed outside, would be an absolute hellish difficulty level. Giving it to newbies to farm is not a training exercise, but a trap.

"FUCK! That fat pig who tried to sleep with me sent me to this godforsaken place. He was definitely up to no good!!"

Upon learning the truth, Noel was overcome with impotent rage, his eyes brimming with tears as he cried out in anguish.

"You fat pig! If you've got the guts to take me back, I'll lie down in front of you in a heartbeat!"

"..."

Samael, who had expected to hear some bloody revenge scene, was speechless when the woman shouted out the most pathetic surrender phrase on her knees at an enormous volume. He could only silently raise his middle finger.

lousy cannon!

Bonus chapter for December is now available!!

null

Chapter Nine Samael, you piece of trash 4.2k

Samael looked at the lousy teacher in front of him and couldn't help but rub his forehead and complain.

"If you're so afraid of death, how did you manage to infiltrate the Holy Church's ranks? And why did you choose the most dangerous agent?"

"Do you think I wanted this?!"

Upon hearing this, Noel looked indignant and protested his injustice.

"If I don't act as a guide, I'll have to be a guinea pig, letting a bunch of perverts in the basement cut me! Or I'll spread my legs and help those fat priests pray for free every day!"

It seemed that the brush with death had broken down the agent's psychological defenses. Noel, who had maintained an elegant teacher's image in public, poured out all her tragic experiences over the years to the two passersby.

She was born in a remote village in France, where her family ran a popular local café.

He was well-off and had no shortage of loving parents.

Aside from not getting along well with his peer, Hierre, who lived next door and ran a bakery, his life was stable and his childhood was happy.

However, everything changed because of this peer.

More than a decade ago, the infamous "French Incident" occurred in the mysterious world.

The reincarnated Blood Ancestor Roya inhabits the body of a little girl in a remote French village and plots to turn the town into a blood sacrifice site to awaken himself. To ensure success, he also recruits several Blood Ancestors in advance to assist him.

Their true objective was to capture Arcueid, the "White Princess," one of the Twenty-Seven Dead Apostles, and seize the Blood of Truth from her.

But to the surprise of these besiegers, Bai Ji, who should have become prey, arrived first under the leadership of a certain man, forcing the Blood Ancestors to take action ahead of time.

The final result was that the Blood Ancestors who besieged Bai Ji and that man were all wiped out.

The hunter has become the prey.

Of course, the life-and-death struggles of these high-ranking figures were not originally a concern for Ganell.

But coincidentally, the same handsome couple who had come to her door had asked her for directions at the village entrance.

The host body of Blood Ancestor Roya is his nemesis and friend, Shier...

In addition, after the French incident, the church agents responsible for cleaning up the site also discovered a blood sacrifice magic circle that had just been one-third constructed underground in the town.

Her family's coffee shop and the bakery next door are naturally the core of the operation...

And so, Noel, who was dragged into this for no reason, was taken back by the church's cold-blooded agents.

Initially, the inside story was shrouded in mystery, and Blood Ancestor Luo Ya possessed the technology of near-infinite reincarnation.

Therefore, Noel, who was under close surveillance, was regarded as a "contaminant" by the church from that time onwards. Noel, who was only a few years old at the time, also lost the right to return to a normal life and was sent to a monastery to live a life of isolation and imprisonment.

Several years later, the events surrounding the French Affair were largely investigated and clarified.

The church realized that she was just a minor character who had been accidentally dragged into it, and there was no point in digging deeper into her, so they lost interest in her.

But this was not the end of her tragic experience; rather, it was the beginning of an even more miserable fate.

Because over the years, Noel had come into contact with many of the church's deepest secrets, it was absolutely impossible for the higher-ups to easily let her return to real life.

In addition, she doesn't possess much value or talent.

As a result, this unfortunate child lost his last halo and protection, and was soon targeted by some unscrupulous people.

Driven by a survival instinct, Noel had no choice but to take the darkest path to protect himself—becoming an agent.

Even if I'm just an unofficial staff member, I won't become a plaything to be slaughtered at will.

Finally, thanks to his ability to read people and adapt to changing circumstances, as well as a bit of luck, Noel managed to become a glorious agent after many stumbles and falls.

Tragically, due to a lack of talent and guidance, even though she managed to become an agent, she was still a weakling, commonly known as "cannon fodder."

Fortunately, her language skills and writing and calculation abilities were passable, and she mainly worked as an office worker in the early stages.

But later, when Noel's good luck ran out, he caught the eye of a high-ranking church official.

In a fit of rage, the unfortunate kid kicked the old lecher's genitals...

What followed, naturally, was the bishop's revenge.

This newbie was banished to Fuyuki City, a hellish dungeon, in the name of spreading the gospel.

Sure enough, after only a few days on the job, he was almost chewed to dust by the nuclear-occupied city of Fuyuki.

After listening, Samael patted the unfortunate child on the shoulder with a look of sympathy to comfort him.

"You're really having a tough time, aren't you?"

"Who says it's not?"

Upon hearing this, Noel couldn't help but feel a lump in his throat and almost burst into tears.

Because she worked for a corrupt church, she had never been in a serious relationship by the age of 27.

That's why Noel, with his obsession and longing, refused to submit to the lecherous old man who was eyeing him and chose to fight to the death.

But when she was actually sent to Fuyuki City, she realized that these days, it was impossible to find a younger man who would accept her as a girlfriend—an older, adorable woman with no tolerance, no financial means, and no talent but no desire to work hard.

The reason is that I don't have money.

Well, actually, although she held two jobs—a teacher at Suiqunyuan Academy and a church representative—one was a new job with no salary, and the other was not a stable monthly salary but rather based on performance.

My cooking skills are so poor that I could barely stand. Forget about meeting performance targets; I'd be lucky to even avoid being fired.

"To hell with true love! To hell with morals! If anyone can lend me a hand, I promise I'll lie down right now!"

At this moment, Noel, already battered and bruised by the harsh reality, has begun to give up on himself.

"Uh, isn't that unnecessary?"

Samael coughed to comfort him, his eyes darting around.

"Tch, do you think I wanted this?!"

Noel's voice rose, as if he had remembered something, his eyes blazing with fury, and he looked like he was gritting his teeth.

"If I hadn't been so naive and foolish back then, deceived by that handsome but heartless man, and ended up letting a wolf into my house, getting caught up in a mess, and losing my whole life, I wouldn't be in such a miserable state!"

At that moment, Samael's cheek twitched as he looked down at the rookie agent who was grabbing his clothes and biting him hard in frustration, his expression strange.

"Of course, I believe you are definitely not that kind of person!"

Immediately afterwards, the seemingly bitter and resentful rookie agent blinked his watery brown eyes and looked pitifully at the handsome young man in front of him, his eyes full of expectation.

"Young man, you seem so kind, why don't you take me in? I'll do anything—laundry, cooking, sweeping, massage!"

Immediately, Noel's hands silently climbed onto Samael's right arm, her flabby chest rubbing against the snake's arm intentionally or unintentionally. Her pretty face flushed red with a shy expression, and she blinked frantically to give him a hint.

"And besides, teacher, I'm still a virgin..."

Are girls these days so daring?

Seeing the scene so heated, Sakuzuki Yoshiko instinctively covered her eyes with her hands, but the glint of her purple eyes secretly peeked through her fingers, observing the whole scene, and she muttered to herself.

Ignoring the strange looks from behind, Noel clung to Samael's arm as if it were a lifeline, refusing to let go.

This is the real purpose behind her acting out a tragic love story and desperately trying to gain sympathy.

Since I'm going to sell myself, I should at least get a high price. Rather than letting that fat pig get a good deal, I might as well let the other side get a good deal!

Fuyuki City is too dangerous. If I want to avoid the church's accountability and save my life, I need to find a reliable powerful figure to rely on.

What do you mean by "thighs"? This is it!

She could teach a bunch of corrupt gods a lesson in no time! Her combat power was off the charts. Compared to this monster who could completely crush the corrupt gods, that fat pig from the Holy Church who wanted to sleep with her was nothing!

Moreover, and more importantly, he looks young, is handsome, and has a wonderfully approachable quality!

Now, I can even save the money I would have spent on raising a puppy.

Samael looked at Noel, whose expression shifted constantly—sometimes frowning, sometimes smug, sometimes indignant, sometimes joyful—and smiled slightly before speaking leisurely.

"Teacher, if you were to encounter that heartless man again, what would you do?"

"Of course, Bangbang should punch him twice!"

Upon hearing this, Noel immediately gritted his teeth in anger and subconsciously waved his fist in response.

Upon hearing this, Samael's smile grew even brighter. He gazed meaningfully at the shameless teacher before him and spoke softly.

"Well, actually, you've already seen it..."

"what?"

Noel was slightly taken aback, looking completely bewildered and somewhat confused.

"Have you forgotten so quickly? The little girl who gave us directions at the coffee shop at the village entrance..."

The light patterns on Samael's body spread out like ripples on water, and the conceptual disguise of [Cognitive Distortion] disappeared, accompanied by a smiling reminder.