I live my life in Tokyo

"Let's go, Kitahara. I'll be waiting for you."

Takeda Hiroshi put his hands on his hips, and was unusually patient as the tug-of-war game was about to begin.

The boy raised his head and caught a glimpse of the long black hair passing by outside the classroom door.

"Ah."

He took slow steps.

For Hiroshi Kitahara, this is a step out of his comfort zone.

This step is equivalent to changing his own way of doing things.

He is indifferent to things other than studying, sleeps in class every day, and goes to the reading room in the afternoon. He is a gloomy man, a nerd, a transparent person in the class. No one wants to talk to him, and he is often ignored during group assignments.

He had long been accustomed to this kind of life, to the point of being numb.

But just now, he felt the gaze of his childhood sweetheart.

So he took the first step.

"Haha, let's go."

Takeda Hiroshi skillfully put his arm around Sakakibara Kaede's shoulder, and the latter shrank back slightly. With some reluctance, the two quickly walked towards the playground.

The sunlight was so dazzling that Kaede Sakakibara couldn't help but squint her eyes and put her hands over her head.

"Endo! You're going so slowly!" classmates in the class shouted while making trumpet shapes with their hands. It can be seen that the contestants participating in the tug-of-war are already gearing up for the next battle.

Takeda Hiroshi gave the boy a thumbs up and walked up to him with a smile, "Well, don't worry, I'm going to find my friends."

"Oh, Kitahara."

The classmate glanced at the silent boy with glasses, and nodded slightly, whether out of politeness or simply to give face to Takeda, who was a member of the class's popular group, "Kitahara, choose a place to sit."

"Ah, okay."

The boy hummed woodenly, looked around, and finally sat in the shadow of the teaching building.

Feeling the coolness of the grass, the boy sighed softly. As expected, he still felt so out of place.

The ugly duckling cannot blend in with the swans.

"Hong...you're here."

"Huh?" The boy nodded uncomfortably when someone spoke to him out of the blue. He turned his head and saw that it was Mai Sakurajima who was also sitting in the shadows. He breathed a sigh of relief and said, "What? It's Orange. Don't scare me."

"Don't talk to me so familiarly."

Sakurajima Mai snorted softly, buried her face in her knees wrapped around her arms, and answered sullenly.

Now she is like a hedgehog with its spines erected facing people.

The boy had neither a large hidden sword nor large ashes, and was suddenly at a loss for words in front of the defensive girl.

Yes, in their daily lives, Nishida Orange is always the one who guides the topic and starts the conversation. He has long been accustomed to it all.

He had long been accustomed to the girl's presence, but he had only recently discovered her words, her insincerity, and her self-loathing.

So, the boy is really not qualified to be a childhood sweetheart.

"...I have something to tell you."

After taking a gentle breath, Mai Sakurajima stared straight at the boy's profile with her indigo eyes.

"What's the matter?" The boy did not notice the urgency in his words.

"As for me, I went to study in a very far city when I was in junior high school because of my parents' work." She smiled calmly, and this smile belonged to her original self. "It was a key junior high school. When I entered the class with excellent grades, all my classmates thought I was a good scholar and a well-educated lady... very outstanding."

"But that's what everyone imagines me to be, that's not me."

“I can’t be anything other than this.”

The boy quickly picked up the topic and said, "But Orange, you have already graduated from that junior high school and started a new life in this high school."

"You... don't know."

Although the girl was smiling, her smile was very sad.

“When people around me see me as someone who is not as ideal as I am, their cold gazes are neither discouraging nor lamenting.”

"It's just... a cold gaze - that's why."

"I'm clearly preparing to start a new high school life, and I'm clearly preparing to get rid of my past self. What should I do, what kind of me should I show... I don't know."

She wrapped her arms tightly around her calves and forced herself to say, "In the end, I chose the same me as before... the me who longed for others, but could not make deep connections with anyone."

"——I can't change it. I can't change it, really."

Mai Sakurajima kept talking with a smile on her face, and it would be more appropriate to describe that smile as self-deprecating.

It was a miserable smile.

"Perhaps, the real me has already disappeared."

With every word she spoke, she was hurting herself.

The boy clenched his fists and looked at the girl's face intently. "You who are saying this now are different from you in school."

"Can you prove that this is the real me?"

The girl raised her head, lonely but sad, desolate but beautiful, "What is the real me like?"

"I don't know what will happen if I do something I really want to do. Will people hate me? Will they think I am willful?"

"Maybe I never considered before doing something whether it would cause trouble to others or deeply hurt someone."

"From the beginning, I thought Hong and I were the same kind of people." She tried to raise the corners of her mouth and act cheerfully at school, "But I was wrong. Hong, you don't care about other people's eyes at all. You don't have to worry about what others say behind your back. You can concentrate on completing your own work wholeheartedly... To be honest, I'm a little envious."

"So... don't tell me 'just be yourself' or anything like that anymore. It'll just mess with my words."

"Otherwise, I really don't know what to do."

Ahhh.

How naive my thoughts are.

If she wanted to be recognized and welcomed, she had to act like the girl in school who was always gentle, polite and smiling for everyone.

However, she does not want to be recognized as such a "her".

At the end of the conflict, she actually just wanted someone to recognize her true self.

The boy clenched his teeth. He was not an ignorant boy who knew nothing, nor was he a piece of wood who knew nothing about feelings. At this moment, he wanted to rush into the girl's mind, bite off the self-loathing thoughts, crush the helpless thoughts, open his hands and tell her loudly, praise her loudly, and tell her that you are great.

"I understand. I won't say that again—"

"Well, thank you, Hong-chan." For a moment, she showed a complex smile that was a mixture of relief and self-mockery.

"You don't have to show it in front of people other than me."

"Eh?"

Her mask shattered.

The boy looked at the cloudless blue sky and said softly, "Because I already know everything about you, and we're childhood sweethearts, so it doesn't matter if you only show it in front of me."

"It will cause you trouble!" the girl shouted.

"It's the same for you. After all, I'm quite a trouble in your eyes." The boy chuckled, his lenses blurred by the sunlight.

"The real Nishida Orange must be a considerate and gentle girl. You are so popular in school, so it is normal that you would not talk to a nobody like me, have lunch with me, or wait for me to go home after class."

"If you can't even hate me like this, how can you possibly hurt others?"

The girl stared at the boy's profile. This scene was no different from the scene under the starry sky.

"...I'm going to participate in the three-legged race."

"Ah."

The girl patted the grass on her pants, opened her mouth as if to say something but stopped herself, waved slightly to the boy, and left quickly.

Sakakibara Kaede withdrew her gaze with a faint smile on her face.

The breeze blew up his bangs covering his forehead, but no one could see his handsomeness at that moment.

He felt that he had changed something, and he felt that he had changed himself. The boy stood up, walked into the sunshine, and watched the lively sports meeting, his heart became warm.

He would never have felt this way in the past.

"How are the points? Is there a chance of winning?"

"Hmm... The seniors on the blue team are too fierce. The scores are too close."

The boy's gaze had just drifted over when students in the corner of the playground exclaimed.

Sakakibara Kaede's heart tightened, and he looked in the direction where the sound came from. Seeing that it was not a three-legged race, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's... Taniguchi-san. Oh no, Taniguchi, who was participating in the sprint, sprained his ankle." Several classmates found out the news, and the news of the injured class member immediately swept the students who were resting on the sidelines.

"Is Taniguchi's foot seriously injured?" Kashima Yu, who had just finished the game and was out of breath, asked while supporting his knees.

The male student who came back after getting the news looked distressed, "Taniguchi's foot is swollen, and he was just sent to the infirmary. I heard it was sprained."

"No matter what the result of the match is, Taniguchi-kun's injury is not serious. It's good that it's not a broken bone."

Kashima You's comfort made the originally tense students force out a few smiles. They were more concerned about their classmates' injuries than the competition results.

The boy prepared cold towels in the rest area and did everything he could to help others.

"Taniguchi has signed up for the relay race. What should we do? Is there anyone who can take his place?"

At the sports games, each person can participate in a limited number of events. This is for the sake of fairness and to allow everyone to integrate into the atmosphere of the sports games.

The boy signed up for the bread-biting competition simply to make up the numbers.

"Hiss... Look at the competition registration form, is there anyone else who can take over?" The anxious student pushed open the registration form, took a quick glance, and found that most of the students had signed up for three events - this was the limit for participating in the competition.

Takeda Hiroshi, the head player of the sports club, came over wiping his sweat. His classmates made way for him and pointed, "Well... the students who didn't participate in the three events are Shibata-kun, Ono-san, and Kitahara-kun."

Shibata was thin and when he saw Takeda Hiroshi's gaze, he quickly shook his head and stepped back.

Ono is a girl and cannot participate in the relay race which is only for boys.

"Kitahara, come and join us." Takeda Hiroshi raised his head and looked at the young man.

"what?"

This rather dramatic change of position at the last minute made the boy slightly stunned. The hand that held out the cold towel was frozen in place. He pointed at himself blankly, "Me?"

"Yeah, there's nothing we can do about it. This is the situation." Takeda Hiroshi shrugged and said to the classmate next to him, "I've seen Kitahara-kun's physical strength. If it's a short-distance race in a relay race, there will be no problem."

"We have no intention of objecting to what you said, Endo-kun."

The classmates were all looking at the boy at this time. The boy had never been stared at by so many people before. It seemed as if his throat was stuck and he couldn't utter a word.

"Well... Kitahara-kun does have a good physique, I trust him." The classmate who was holding his chin nodded, agreeing with Takeda Hiroshi's point of view.

"I'm fine too, come on, Kitahara-kun!"

The classmates came forward one by one and slapped and hit the boy's body.

Takeda Hiroshi stepped forward last and handed him a red sports vest. He patted his shoulder and said, "You will take over from Taniguchi-kun and run the last pole. Kitahara, I leave it to you."

The boy took a deep breath, and his originally hazy lenses gradually became clear at this moment. He took the sportswear and nodded vigorously.

. . .

After finishing the three-legged race, Sakurajima Mai returned to the rest area with sweat on her face. She took a cold towel from the basin and put it on her face, then breathed a sigh of relief.

"Eh? Where are everyone?"

Higuchi Madoka, who came back with her, was mumbling to herself strangely. Sakurajima Mai looked around and said, "Azuma-chan, it seems everyone has gone to watch the relay race."

"Let's go too."

The girl didn't find her childhood sweetheart and felt an inexplicable sense of emptiness in her heart. When her companion Dong Liuli gave her a puzzled look, she quickly shook her head and caught up with her.

The competition on the playground track was in full swing. The two girls managed to squeeze to the front of the class and found that the contestants were already in their positions and ready.

The girl was still looking for the boy. Higuchi Madoka pointed to the playground in surprise, "Eh? Is that... Kitahara-kun?"

"Nani?"

The boy still wore glasses and had a red ribbon tied on his head. His bangs were slightly undulating due to the waves. His blue eyes were looking up to the sky, and there was an indescribable emotion hidden in his eyes.

He looked behind him and saw Takeda Hiroshi not far away and Kashima Yu who was further away both showing him confident smiles and giving him thumbs up at the same time.