My love game with them that will lead to certain death

The self in my memory seemed to be controlling a male body from a first-person perspective, enjoying all the approval and compliments I have now, but my heart was filled with guilt and uneasiness.

"Why do you feel guilty? This is my life."

Eriri, who didn't understand why she was so worried, came to the utility room again in the afternoon one day. When her mind was empty or immersed in some thoughts, she would always come to this place involuntarily, as if just staying in this space could calm her down.

She took out various notes from her desk that were posted all over the room. She had to kill time anyway, so she might as well find out what was wrong with her before.

She gathered the notes into a ball and took them back to her room. She lay on the bed and began to read through them for entertainment. However, she was unconsciously overwhelmed by the drowsiness and gradually fell into the embrace of sleep.

Wrapped in the warm goose yellow light, she found that in the endless white space, there seemed to be someone standing in the distance waiting for her.

It was the figure of a young man with golden curly hair.

He stood quietly with his back to Eriri, as if he had been waiting here for a time that could not be measured in years, months or days.

"........."

After a brief moment of distraction, Eriri gradually approached the boy, who turned around calmly as if he had anticipated her arrival.

What came into view was a very familiar face. Chihiro.②55㈤9㈤③０0

It was not the face of other boys that she had seen in real life, but a face that was at least 70% similar to hers.

The curly-haired boy had a little smile in his eyes, and his gaze towards her was full of peace and affection.

It was the same emotion as that of parents, but there seemed to be a subtle difference.

Even though she couldn't call out his name at the moment, Eriri could realize one thing.

That means I definitely know him.

No, it's not just knowing him, the relationship between them should be closer, more intimate, and unforgettable, like the relationship between you and me.

Tears slowly flowed down as if in response to her thoughts, and the boy in front of her just chuckled when he saw this.

"You're more adaptable than I thought, Eriri. Seeing you like this makes me feel relieved."

"thorough………?"

Even Eriri herself was a little puzzled as to why she blurted out this name.

But with this call, memories of more than a decade also flooded into Eriri's mind in an instant. Staring at the boy's face, she gradually recalled the past that she had forgotten.

"Tetsu... is it Toru?"

She wanted to get closer to her brother, but she knew that this was just a dream and she couldn't touch him, so she withdrew her hand in disappointment - at least this way he wouldn't disappear into thin air in the next second.

"It's normal if you don't remember me, Eriri. After all, your "life" now belongs completely to you. It would be a bit strange if you still remember someone who has nothing to do with you."

Unlike Eriri who seemed to be getting more and more agitated, the boy's expression remained calm.

"It's normal that no one remembers me. I gave my life to you, so naturally I have to pay the price of having my "existence corrected" - no, this life originally belonged to you, and I suddenly appeared and took away the best half of your life."

"What are you talking about, Toru... That's obviously your life..."

"No, it belongs to you from the beginning to the end, Eriri."

The boy's eyes were so determined.

"To be honest, when the witch asked me to consider whether to let the disaster befall you, I thought about whether to let myself survive. But you suddenly rushed out from an unknown corner and hugged me the moment I hesitated - you still remember it, right?"

"I knew at that moment that I would definitely make this decision."

The appearance of the sister who was willing to sacrifice herself for her brother's happiness instead strengthened the boy's choice.

"I want to create a world line where you exist, a world line where you can live strong even without my company."

The brother opened his arms and hugged his sister as if he was hugging her for the last time.

This time he didn't disappear again, and Eriri was able to come to her senses after a brief daze and hug him back.

"So, take my gift and blessing and continue your life, Eriri."

My brother’s voice was as gentle as this warm white space, making Ying reluctant to wake up.

But the dream will eventually end.

Sick note

The result of having too much fun on Halloween is backache, flu, dizziness... I feel like I have seen too many monsters and ghosts and they have sucked all my energy away (( ?oдo)???(oдo? ))

I will never stay up all night with young people again... I went to the hospital today to get an IV drip. It just so happens that this simulation is about to end, so I can think about the follow-up ideas in the hospital. Red bean paste private Marseille (? ? ?? )

Chapter 63: Everything about the Sawamura siblings

There is an old cliché that a person truly dies three times.

The first time is when his heart stops beating and breathing disappears, and he is declared dead biologically. The second time is at the funeral, when everyone who knew you comes to pay tribute to you, and you lose your existence in human social relationships. The third time is when the last person who remembers you also leaves this world, and you begin to be completely forgotten by the world, which is the true meaning of death.

Eriri was very sad because no one in the world knew that her brother disappeared except her - and of course there was no proper funeral.

Although that arrogant guy was annoying at times, he was undoubtedly a shining and excellent person. When such a person passed away quietly, he was not surrounded by the same blessings and support as when he was born. Such a sharp difference made Eriri sigh.

The life given by my brother is beautiful and bright, but also so heavy that it makes people breathless.

Eriri was angry at her brother for being unreasonable and not asking for her opinion in advance, but she was speechless because of this truly precious gift.

What's more, she almost forgot everything about him like everyone else, even though she was the biggest beneficiary of all this.

But the brother who appeared in the dream did not seem to blame her for this. He just smiled quietly and gave her a hug.

"Don't worry, it doesn't matter whether you choose to forget or remember it all, just keep living even without me by your side" - this was her brother's last blessing to her.

What a self-righteous person.

He thought that everything he left for Eriri were good wishes, that she would like this kind of life more, and that Eriri would be able to continue her life well even without him.

But even though she had some complaints about this, Eriri still chose to implement her brother's ideas and spend every day of her life seriously and responsibly - which was also every day of his life.

I studied hard in school and tried to get top marks in every exam like my brother. I was no slouch in physical education, always trying my best to get top marks. Even in the most difficult subject, home economics, I would study hard in private to improve myself.

Eriri's idea is simple.

Because I am responsible for my brother's future life, I can't let their future be disgraced.

She and Aki Tomoya no longer have any connection. The two of them, who have very different backgrounds and experiences, were not compatible from the beginning. Even though they had the same interests and hobbies that brought them together, today when things have changed and people have changed, they will only drift apart in silence.

What's more, although Tomoya Aki no longer retains any memories related to Toru Sawamura, Eriri still remembers how he had made things difficult for her brother in front of her.

Eriri is indeed not a person who holds grudges, but she can't let go of the fact that someone gossiped about her brother behind his back. From then on, whenever she sees Tomoya Aki, she will subconsciously think of the harm he caused to her brother - it would be better to cut off contact with him completely, so that she can turn a blind eye to it.

Just like that, the childhood sweethearts parted ways completely. Although Tomoya Aki tried to repair his relationship with Eriri with the high-sounding reason of "Are you really not going to continue to cooperate with me in making games?", Eriri could no longer stay with Tomoya Aki as normal as before.

The person who could truly make her feel calm had long gone away - or had stayed by her side from beginning to end and never left.

Maybe it's next to your name on the academic ranking list, in the center of a class photo, next to your laughing parents at a family gathering, or at the other end of the sofa in your spacious and comfortable home.

The days when her brother was away seemed to have lasted for a long time, but also seemed to have been only a day or two. Although he was someone who would never come back, Eriri always had the illusion that he would pop out from an unknown corner in the next moment and gently poke her cheek with his fingers.

But it doesn't matter if he never comes back.

Eriri has become exceptionally good at sports, surpassing the rest of her class with ease, just like her brother. She can also eat tiramisu with ease, even though she used to find it too sweet.

The longer he was away from her, the more he became a part of her. Sometimes Eriri didn't understand where he ended and she began.

Time flies and it's Eriri's birthday. In the past, the Sawamura family would always prepare gifts for the siblings in advance. The parents would also turn down work and various schedules and work with the housekeeper to prepare surprises for the siblings.

This year's birthday was the same. Her parents carefully prepared various gifts that Eriri would like, and also decorated the house in advance - but for some reason, Eriri, who received the birthday surprise, did not look as happy as they imagined.

This is only natural, after all, the people who used to celebrate this festival with Eriri are no longer able to attend.

The person who accepted her birthday and welcomed the new year with her, the person who cut the birthday cake with her smiling and smeared the cream that Eriri didn't like on her face with a very malicious intention, the person who put his hands together and closed his eyes to make a wish with her but always squinted one eye to peek at her - from now on, he is no longer here.

His absence is as constant as his presence.

Originally a festival for two people, Eriri can now only celebrate it alone.

So every time her birthday comes, Eriri can't help crying.

As if she was powerless to save the person who was most important to her, as if she had to watch the person she cherished disappear in front of her, and as if things were now beyond redemption - she would always cry with tears and snot, making her parents panic.

Tears of regret would not last long. After several birthdays, Eriri no longer vented her emotions so wantonly.

Even if Sayuri or the friends who came to celebrate her birthday noticed that Eriri was a little lonely and asked her the reason, she could only shake her head and smile faintly.

At a time when no one remembers that person's existence anymore, saying anything more would just be a waste of words - the facts won't change anyway.

The fact that he had left long ago would not change, nor would the fact that Eriri decided to shoulder her brother's life and walk on with him.

The years passed by, and living alone was not as hard as Eriri had imagined, but it also did not give people a feeling of time flying by as often happens in movies.

It was not until the online game she loved to play had been shut down for many years and her high school classmates who had grown up with her had all entered society and become part of the big dye vat that she truly felt that time was flying.

Her parents once worried that she would feel lonely being alone, but Eriri would always smile and shake her head.

Because whenever she felt discouraged and hesitant, her brother would appear in her dreams and gently embrace her with his arms.

"It is true that others will leave you, but I will stay with you until the end of your life."

"But in order to make you completely your own, I have to return you to yourself. You are me and I am you. My achievements are your medals, and your survival is the meaning of my existence, so I have never disappeared."

"This is the best gift I can give you."

Chapter 64: Eternal Love

Why have something when you are going to lose it? This is an eternal topic, but the process of having and losing is part of life experience. Family, friendship, love, at least you can't reject them just because you think they will be lost. They are the indispensable pieces of life.

But even if one feels sudden enlightenment at this point, the problems that follow will continue to plague those who seek.

"Is there anything that can last forever?"

In this regard, Ming Hai Toru’s idea is actually very simple.

People often say "I will love you forever" but it is just limited to "Now, I hope I can love you forever."

Forever is a degree, not a time. At least emotions are eternal as long as they last.

As for whether there is anyone who can actually put it into practice until the end of his life - Ming Hai initially held a skeptical attitude of "Really? I don't believe it."

Human nature is the most vulnerable thing, and he does not even have such an idealized estimate of himself. It is stupid to have any hope of moral cleanliness in anyone. After all, everyone in this world is half human and half ghost, and no one can see it if you get too close.

It was not until these simulations again and again that he realized that there really are people in this world who will remain loyal to their love forever.

And there's more than one.

Whether it was Yukino Yukinoshita, who lived and died with him in the first simulation and was finally alone in endless nostalgia, or Pochi, who became a superstar because of his unreasonable self-sacrifice but also died alone, or even Ryo Yamada, who began to pursue his musical dream on his own because of his self-committed suicide - he always maintained the negative attitude that there would be no disappointment if there was no expectation, but they all unexpectedly gave him unexpected surprises.

This also led to Minghai's attitude towards the simulation changing from the utilitarian "I just want to get a reward" at the beginning to becoming more and more enjoying it, and he even vaguely looked forward to how the story would end.

[Your devotion is really beyond my expectation. After all, based on the last simulation, I thought you would choose a method that maximizes your benefits - such as letting yourself live alone, but making your sister's last moments unforgettable.]

"This isn't maximizing benefits, right? If I really want Eriri to never forget me, I have to do what I'm doing now."

After each simulation, the system would appear at the right time and greet Ming Hai, and he had gradually gotten used to it.

"After all, death can make people gradually forget the shortcomings of the dead, and it is the most regrettable to stop everything at the peak of emotions, isn't it?"

[I can't argue with that, but I'm curious if you did this with the mindset that this would be the best outcome, or if you were really driven by emotion.]

"..."

[You hesitated. You used to be someone who would immediately admit that "profit is my priority", but now you are speechless. It seems that the answer is self-evident.]

"So what is the result of this simulation? Serve it up quickly!"

[Your words for changing the topic are not always very clever, maybe it's because you are embarrassed by your emotions being exposed. But I will follow your topic with high emotional intelligence, so please don't worry. ]

After a brief pause, the system's voice recounted what happened after Ming Hai lost consciousness.

[Faced with an irreversible natural disaster, you had to unite the twin souls to avoid a complete loss. You chose the most selfless approach - dedicating your soul and future to your sister Eriri, replacing her as the half that should have been sacrificed.]

[This was a decision that she did not agree to, and it was indeed a decision that changed her fate. Although your sister Eriri almost collapsed at first because of your disappearance, she chose to respect your decision after learning the whole story and slowly accepted the fact that she had lost you.]

[Eri begins to follow your life path to improve herself, perhaps to pursue your past achievements, or perhaps to live up to your trust. But in short, she has inherited everything from you and has become as excellent as you. 】

[She did not renew her relationship with her childhood sweetheart, Tomoya Aki, nor did she try to find someone new to protect her. Your existence is unique enough for her, and if anyone is to replace you, it can only be her who carries your life.]

[You are her motivation for growth, her reason for improvement, her goal for progress, but you have also become her only weakness. You have always been much taller than her, but now she can only look down at your tombstone forever. ]

[Perhaps you have hoped that she can let go of everything and live a good life, but the fact is that you have never really died in her heart. She is not in the mood to throw herself into a relationship to distract her attention. After all, love and family affection are not that clear, especially when such feelings are all concentrated on one person, there is no need to distinguish them clearly. ]

[You ended her first half of life, but gave her a new life with your own hands. With love for her brother, Sawamura Eriri lived a lonely but fulfilling life. ]