Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

"Xiao Qi, thank you very much." Her signature smile as always, but I always felt like there was something extra, something that made my heart beat.

That's probably the real thing I'm looking for.

I also smiled at Yuigahama, then I raised my hands together and hit Yuigahama's forehead hard.

"So, why did you go down if you can't swim!" I stood in front of the park bench and criticized Yuigahama, who looked remorseful, in a very imposing manner.

After being rescued, Yuigahama and I were dragged by the dolphin to swim around the exhibition hall again. Then we refused the apology from the host and staff and came out to enjoy the baptism of sunshine.

Since the changing room was equipped with a good hair dryer, Yuigahama's hair was dried quickly. Then, Yuigahama returned to her previous ponytail style, and it didn't give me as strong an impact as before when her hair was down.

It is true that some people say that women with their hair down are more likely to arouse men's desire...

"It's a rare opportunity. I've always wanted to go. And the previous performances didn't include a diving segment." Yuigahama explained hesitantly, like a child who had made a mistake.

"Ha, are you an idiot?" I questioned strongly. Only an idiot would risk his life, right?

"Isn't Xiaoqi here? I'm about to graduate, and I also want to leave special memories with Xiaoqi..."

"What kind of weird reason is this?"

"Xiao Qi will definitely protect me. Judging from the results, isn't it a success?" Yuigahama put her hand on her chest and said with warmth.

My answer to her was another blow from my hand.

"Don't take risks with such shallow excuses!" I said angrily.

Yuigahama covered her head and looked at me with a pitiful look. It felt like I had snatched the pine nuts from a squirrel and the squirrel was staring at me. "I know. I won't do this again."

"As long as you know."

"However, Xiaoqi is a little different today than usual. It seems like he won't hit me no matter what."

"Eh?" I was a little dazed. It seemed that it was indeed a little different from usual. Normally, I would never do such an intimate thing with Yuigahama. I guess my anger overwhelmed my rationality.

"Whose fault do you think it is?"

"Wow, Xiaoqi's eyes are so scary." Yuigahama shrank back in fear and took out the gift next to her.

Maybe because she was embarrassed, the host gave us a big doll and the most precious Chiba limited edition watch. The doll was a cute dolphin. Yuigahama was very happy to rub the doll, like a little girl who finally found her favorite toy. The watch was also very delicately made. The dial was the scene of the sun setting in Chiba as seen from the highest point in Chiba. The strap was decorated with the county flower of Chiba. The workmanship was very exquisite, and the luster in the sun showed that it was very brand new.

"Here, this is for Xiaoqi." Yuigahama said, and handed the watch to me. Then she hugged the dolphin in her arms with satisfaction: "This is mine."

By the way, where did this elementary school student come from?

Chapter 34 Yuigahama, Are You Hungry?

Forget it, I looked at the watch and it’s almost time for lunch.

"Yuigahama, are you hungry?"

"Oh, I'm not very hungry."

I see. However, I have exhausted all my energy trying to save you just now. It is not good to eat alone. I will just go to the dessert shop I just passed by and buy something to replenish my energy.

"I'm going to buy something. What kind of drink would you like? I'll buy it for you."

"No, I'll go with you."

"Have a good rest." I glared at Yuigahama. His lips were still black, but he was still thinking about moving.

As soon as Yuigahama stood up, she was frightened by me and retreated back. She whispered to Heze: "I know, why are you so fierce?"

Ignoring her mumbling, I slowly walked towards the dessert shop I just passed by.

When you walk into the store, you will find it has a very warm decoration. There are many small pendants hanging in the store. The light yellow walls and wooden floors also give it a youthful feel. People are sitting in groups of three or four at the tables, tasting desserts with happiness on their faces.

"Hello, please give me..."

"Eh? Isn't this Hikigaya?"

The beautiful blue-haired waitress looked at me and asked. I was startled and then stared at the face carefully.

What was Saki? I can't remember...

"Um, hello, Dazhi's sister." I smiled awkwardly.

"I don't want to say it, but don't you think it's rude to call your classmate of two years "sister"? "

Seriously, I have absolutely no way of refutation. And, ah, what was it? I have the impression that she helped us a lot. I'll just try to shout it out according to my memory.

"Um, Saki-san?"

"Although it's a question, you still pass."

Did he just get away with it? Sure enough, the body is still very honest. Even though he didn't remember the name, his body had remembered it involuntarily. So, there is indeed a rumor that ninjas can still fight back even when they fall asleep.

But I always feel something is wrong. Why should I feel guilty for not being able to remember other people's names? There must be many people in the class who can't remember my name. Does everyone have to apologize to me? Or do they have to say my name to pass the test? If so, I think the Ministry of Household Affairs will never pass the test!

It's definitely because of the difference in aura. I looked carefully at the beautiful girl in front of me. She was wearing a suit that looked a bit like men's waiter's. She looked very capable with her ponytail. The only difference from the last time I worked in a high-end club was that because it was a dessert shop, she was wearing an apron over the suit. There was some meaningless words like "lovelovesweet" printed on the apron.

The apron unexpectedly matches the suit. It turns out it’s all about the human factor. Even with strange combinations of clothes, it turns out that they can shine as long as you find the right person. I learned such meaningless knowledge.

But even so, the text above feels quite strange, and doesn't match the personality, hmm.

I remember the first time we met was on the rooftop of the school. The words that impressed me the most were, uh, the black less...

"You've been staring at me since just now. Are you thinking of doing something rude?"

"No, no, I was just thinking that it's rare to meet here." Did I show it too obviously, so that she discovered my rude thoughts? What a perceptive girl.

"Well, I'm used to it. I often meet acquaintances when I work." Shahi arranged the cups used to hold ice cream on the table and carefully placed decorative items on them. This man was unexpectedly handsome when he was working seriously.

"Is this something you can get used to? Don't most people feel nervous and shy when they meet acquaintances while working part-time?" Although I have not had such an experience, it would be better to say that after a few days, I would turn down my part-time jobs with all kinds of magical reasons, and then happily read books or play games at home. During the limited time I worked part-time, it was impossible for me to meet people who knew me. When I was working part-time in junior high school, I remember two classmates came to the place where I worked, but after seeing me, they ran away quickly...

Did he leave quickly to avoid embarrassment? This is common, this kind of thing.

"Did you think of something bad?"

"Eh? What?"

"It's nothing, it's just that your expression says so. It feels a little scary." This person can actually work without changing his expression and then say something very sad.

"Anyway, this face will be annoying no matter what I do." I smiled a little self-deprecatingly.

"It's not like that." The unexpected answer made me focus my attention back on Shahi. I don't know why, but she, who had been standing very upright while working, now lowered her head. She seemed to be afraid of something and looked away, and her face turned a little red.

"You're actually quite gentle, but sometimes you just don't want to admit it. Besides, I actually think you look pretty good."

"Huh?" I opened my mouth in surprise and wanted to say something, but I really didn't know how to express it. In the end, I just listened there quietly.

"Perhaps you have noticed that something is changing around you. Everyone is moving forward at their own pace. How about you try to change as well? Become less awkward, less self-centered, less inferior and yet more conceited..."

In this way, both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama have changed a lot. Yukinoshita can now communicate normally with classmates. Although she has not made close friends like Yuigahama, as time goes by, Yukinoshita will definitely be able to make friends as close as Yuigahama now by herself when she is in college. Yuigahama is still as energetic as before, and is still working hard to maintain the team atmosphere. However, she will no longer cater to others blindly like before. Now she has become more independent-minded. If it were her before, she would definitely care about Miura's opinion in her senior year of high school and would not invite me to the club room with her every day. She is more independent-minded and will definitely make more friends in the future than she does now...

So, what about me? I still look at this society with a weird idea, still think that many things in this society are meaningless, unwilling to admit defeat, unwilling to let others question my life with a look of understanding, and still as rotten as before.

"I understand the changes very well." I reached out and took the coffee that Shahi handed me. Speaking of which, I was so nervous when I walked in that I forgot to order. I took a sip and it tasted like my favorite MAX coffee. Although I admired Shahi's coffee-making skills, I was more curious about why she knew the taste of my coffee.

"Sorry, I forgot to order. Will it affect your work?"

"It doesn't have much of an impact. Now is not the peak business period." Shahi said nonchalantly.

"But I'm sorry to have you wait so long. Give me a medium mango sundae and squeeze me a watermelon juice to take away."

"Got it." Nodding, Shahi ran to the kitchen, probably to talk about the dishes or something like that. After that, she returned to the bar and nodded to me, suggesting that I finish what I had just said.

I took a deep breath and adjusted my breathing: "I know about the changes. Whether it's Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Isshiki and Komachi, they are all working hard in their own ways. Seeing them working so hard, sometimes I also feel that I just need to work a little harder. However, I always give up. After all, not many people care about me. I just need to live quietly in a place where no one can see me. There is no need to live in front of others again."

I don't know why, but after telling Saki my true feelings, I felt much better after I said them out. Yes, Hikigaya Hachiman, you have always lived so cunningly, afraid of being hurt, afraid that misunderstandings will change your peaceful life, afraid that pursuing things that do not belong to you will make your only happiness disappear. Now, although I still don't know what the real thing is, I will not try hard to explore it. Excessive pursuit will lead to losing sight of the goal and losing what I have. I don't want such an experience.

Sometimes I think that the real thing between Orimoto and I in junior high school was that Orimoto was gentle to everyone, but not too close. If I hadn't confessed to her, we would probably have continued to date as friends. Our real relationship was just a friendship. Although it might be a fake, the existence of a fake must have its meaning. If I weren't so selfish, and even imposed my own expectations on Orimoto, maybe I would be more relaxed now.

"You haven't changed in this respect." Shahi handed me the sundae with a wry smile: "Why are you so gentle to others, but so resistant when others repay you? In other words, why do you choose to work hard alone when you have so many people to rely on? People like this will become more and more lonely. Although people will constantly discover your strengths, one day, you will only be able to struggle in the shackles you have put on yourself."

The sad tone was slowly prolonged, and even the sweetness of the sundae in his mouth faded a lot.

"I'm not working alone. I'll also be relying on Yukinoshita's help."

"That's not the case." Shashi shook his head. "It's not about seeking help after you encounter difficulties, but about moving forward side by side with others from the very beginning. From the very beginning, don't make it a premise to hurt yourself, but a premise to make it a premise for everyone to work together."

"This is just a fantasy, an ideal state. Everyone will have to work hard on their own in the end."

Yes, that's right! Everyone has to work hard alone. Loneliness is the source of a person's creativity. Only loneliness can make people progress. Lonely people are the greatest and the real pillars of this world.

"Even you, aren't you working hard for your family?"

"That's true..." Shaxi didn't deny what I said. She just responded with my warm smile: "But, didn't you come to save me? When I went astray, I remember that you and I were not very familiar friends at that time. The only encounter I remember was probably the chance encounter on the rooftop. But if you think about it carefully, we were not even friends."

"It's just a request. Besides, it's Yukinoshita and the others who are helping..."

"It's not them. You are the one who really changed my mind. The last meeting was your idea. It was you who made me understand. Even in the cram school, you helped me a lot."

"It's just some little things."

"You are denying your own value again..."

Shaxi looked at me in silence and sighed slightly: "You should realize that what you have done has changed some people and saved some people."

"Now, gentle girls can all discover your gentleness, but most people will just misunderstand you and cannot truly understand you and discover your charm."

The gentle tone was like the sea breeze, spreading throughout my body along with the sweetness of the sundae.

"So how about changing your way of living so that others can see your gentleness? You don't have to be so far-fetched like you are now, silently enduring the pain alone..."

Chapter 35 Sorry

Something in my heart is melting, small ideas are taking root, and then growing wildly in my heart.

It’s okay to take a slightly greedy step forward, just live in a different way and add a little more sunshine to your life.

"Sounds good." With a slight smile, I put down the sundae and responded to Shahi.

"It's good that you realize it." Shahi smiled relaxedly, probably because she was happy that I realized this.

"But, I had the impression that you were more aloof, but I didn't expect you to be so talkative." I said jokingly.

"Ah, that's not true." Shahi waved her hands in panic, like a child whose secret had been discovered. Her movements were so big that people were worried that she would drop the cup she was fiddling with.

"It's just that you've taken care of me all along, and now that I'm about to graduate, I feel like I'll miss the chance if I don't say something. No, you see, Dazhi and Jinghua are both very grateful to you, so it's unnatural for me to say so much today." At the end, she felt like she couldn't go on, and tilted her head to the side as if she was upset: "So, this time is a special case."

Where does this tsundere come from? I don't remember Shaki having such a trait. Sure enough, graduation will make some people reveal the trait they have been hiding?

"Sorry."

"Why? Is there anything to be sorry about?" Shahi looked at me in confusion.

"Because you see..." I scratched my head a little embarrassedly and blushed a little and said, "Because you see, you have helped me so much that I even couldn't remember your name when we just met."

"You look so scary."

Is this the result of a sincere thank you? I know I look scary when I'm shy, but please don't say it!

"But it feels..." Observing me carefully, Shahi took out a pair of glasses from under the table and put them on me. They might be decorative glasses used by store clerks. The glasses had no prescription, so I wouldn't experience dizziness or other symptoms when wearing them. "It's much better this way." She nodded with a little pride, and seemed very satisfied with the way she packaged me.

As if wanting me to see, Shahi took out a mirror from his pocket and placed it in front of me. I looked at myself carefully. The glasses cleverly covered my dead fish eyes, and my only flaw disappeared, which made my half-handsome face unexpectedly sublimated.

I unexpectedly think it’s very cool. I’ll go buy a pair of glasses later!

While I was thinking this, Shahi suddenly stretched out her hand in front of me. I looked at her in surprise, not knowing what she wanted to do.

"Well, you see, we haven't formally introduced ourselves to each other in such a long time. I guess that's why you can't remember my name. So, let's get to know each other again now that we have time."

"No matter what, there's no need to do this." Although I said this, I still shook hands with her. However, because I was too nervous, after at least a while, I quickly pulled my hand back.

"Here, your watermelon juice." Shahi handed me the packed watermelon juice. I had almost finished the sundae, so I stood up and prepared to leave.

"If you don't mind, let's meet at the graduation party. Dazhi wants to see you."

"Hey, that's okay."

"Well, welcome." Shahi showed her signature smile as a salesgirl.

As I walked out of the store, the music inside was still faintly echoing in my ears.

Kawasaki Saki? If I think about it carefully, it is a really good name. Thinking of this, I hid the special little gift I just received in the inside pocket of my clothes.

"Xiaoqi, it's so slow." Yuigahama complained while taking the watermelon juice from my hand and drinking it sip by sip happily.

It really took a long time. Not only did I eat a full sundae, but also...wait, I remember I should have ordered a medium cup, why did I get a large cup? Did Shaki make a mistake when reporting? This happens all the time. It seems that Shaki is no exception. This person is not as cold and tough as I thought.

"I unexpectedly met an acquaintance, so we chatted briefly." I laughed happily because I learned some interesting things.

"Wow, Xiaoqi's smile is disgusting."