Hikigaya Hachiman is still in the dark

"You can see it if you want."

"After all, she is not a student in our class. What's more, Director Hiratsuka did not hand it over to me. If I look at it this way, I always feel that it is a bit disrespectful to the students' personal privacy." Mita said seriously.

This person surprisingly understands that "if I am discovered, my impression of myself will be greatly reduced."

But what surprised me even more was that he was an even dumber fool than I thought...

"What's the matter? She won't know." Who would be so bored as to use a loudspeaker to promote to the whole school? Have you read the composition of Star of the Sea?

"Ah, my." Mita shook his head: "Teacher Hikigaya really doesn't understand girls. Girls are smart and sensitive creatures."

"Whatever, if you know girls so well, then you can find me a girlfriend."

Hachiman used his special move "Find a Girlfriend" on Mita, which was extremely effective and made Mita dizzy for three seconds.

Then Mita covered his chest as if he had a heart attack. He said with a painful look on his face: "This is force majeure, it's the world's fault, you can't blame me!"

"Anyway, you should get back to work." If I don't push this guy away quickly, he might keep nagging me all day about what's wrong with the world, which will lead to the false proposition that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

"This is a compatibility issue. The girl who matches my personality hasn't appeared yet." Mita whispered absentmindedly as he returned to his seat.

"Next." I took a deep breath and opened Sea Star's homework book. "Let's face Gaia's trial."

The understanding of youth by the Sea Star Moon

Youth, when people step into it, is full of expectations and imposed expectations.

For example, looking forward to a passionate love affair, looking forward to meeting close friends, looking forward to achieving remarkable achievements, looking forward to the world being changed a little because of oneself. There are also many imposed expectations, such as parents expecting excellent grades, teachers expecting you to participate in club competitions to win honors for the school, and friends expecting you to understand each other.

How ridiculous, such expectations of youth. Lovers will have gaps because of a little thing, friends will go their separate ways because of different ideas, and those who stand at the top are always the ones who attract attention. The world uses countless obstacles to let us understand its toughness. As for the imposed expectations, most of the time we use the rebelliousness of youth as an excuse to escape.

There is nothing wrong with having such expectations. After all, we are just ordinary people, and it is natural to have ordinary expectations. However, the world will not make everyone's wishes come true, even if a great man said, "Give me a fulcrum and I can move the entire earth." Let's not consider his arm strength. At least, he can't make such a long lever. In addition, in the case of weightlessness in the universe, most of the universal laws of mechanics will fail. So in the final analysis, this is ultimately just a Platonic hypothesis.

Therefore, youth is a process in which expectations are shattered and pain is endured. The laughter forced upon you in such a process is undoubtedly a fake.

Everyone’s youth has its gray parts, so how could you be the only one who is always laughing?

Everyone's youth involves sacrifices, so how can you be the only one who keeps gaining? Therefore, youth is the most chaotic period of human beings, a period when all kinds of thoughts interweave and all kinds of fantasies invade. Such youth is psychedelic, sighing, and an illusion that makes frustrated people deceive themselves. Although some people say that youth requires many detours, there is no doubt that everyone desires a smooth life. Who doesn't want their youth to go smoothly?

So youth is the most ambiguous word in the world, because everyone hopes that their youth can be colorful, so youth is decorated with countless beautiful lies. There are obviously cracks but you can only force yourself to smile, you obviously don’t like it but have to force yourself to cater to the atmosphere, you obviously like someone but retreat because of other people’s eyes, you obviously hold the truth, but you ignore it because of considering others.

Such youth, after all, is false. Youth that cannot be faced directly is ultimately a memory that cannot be faced directly.

Therefore, I want to use my true attitude to break this false youth.

I closed the notebook silently. Feeling irritated, I took a can of MAX coffee from the table and drank it in small sips. The unique sweetness of MAX coffee spread along my tongue to my whole body, and seemed to dissipate my fatigue a little.

Does this guy think he is the protagonist of the boys' comic who shouts "I want to be the Hokage"?

The job of a teacher is unexpectedly a bit troublesome. I sighed towards the window.

"Ah, Mr. Hikigaya, good afternoon." When I entered the club room, the first thing I heard was the greeting from the Sea Star who was reading a paperback at the table.

"Ah, Mr. Hikigaya! Um, good afternoon." So, Tamasaka-san, this is just a greeting, so please don't be shy.

"Oh, good afternoon to you too." After saying hello, I walked to the center of the table. Thinking back to when I was in high school, I always sat in a corner of the department room. This sudden change of status made me feel a little uncomfortable.

"Before we get to work, let me talk about the composition of the Star of the Sea..."

"If I remember correctly, Mr. Hikigaya is not in charge of my Chinese, right?"

"After all, if I want you to be my assistant, I must first understand the level of your writing." I don't want to read your composition, but that is Mr. Hiratsuka's request, so what can I do?

"Is that so? There's nothing I can do about it." Why do you look so disgusted? Are you so disgusted when I touch your composition?

"As a teacher, the grade I would give is." I took a deep breath and said, "Rewrite!"

"What kind of rating is that?" Hai Zhixing's voice became low, and Tamasaka beside him also opened his mouth wide, seeming to not quite believe it.

It's no wonder. After all, she is the Sea Star with a good reputation and she is always shining. The Sea Star will not make mistakes. She probably has such an awareness. Maybe it's not just her. The whole school including other teachers may have such awareness, just like this essay. Other teachers probably just think: "She is worthy of being the Sea Star. Not only does she have unique insights, but she also has her own characteristics." Such far-fetched reasons to comfort themselves.

But I am Hikigaya Hachiman. I am someone who once truly stood at the bottom of the youth. In my eyes, Umi no Hoshi is a person standing at the top of the youth class. She is a woman who, like Yukinoshita, I will definitely stay away from without any special reason. But such a person says that youth is hypocritical. Do I have to break this youth full of lies?

Stop joking, kid. Do you know how many people will be hurt by your truth? Standing at the top, please don't destroy the peace of the bottom at will!

Just like asking me, after becoming the student council president, to entrust the previous service club, I clearly know that it is fake, but I still can't let it go! You just tear off our disguise with a word of hypocrisy, and then you dream of your own justice. I hate such people!

Chapter 8: Simply from your perspective

If hypocritical things are maintained by people, then they must have their meaning. This is the conclusion that Hikigaya Hachiman has reached now, and it is an extremely rare change in my concept in my rotten youth.

"First of all, regardless of your denial of a certain celebrity, the position of this article is wrong from the beginning. You use "whitewashing and hypocrisy" to develop a topic around youth, which is not the positive and uplifting essay theme required by Mr. Hiratsuka. In addition, what does it mean to shatter youth? Do you think you are Kamijou Touma? You say something confusing like "I will shatter your youth", and then you arbitrarily break other people's youth to gain a sense of reality? Don't be ridiculous, this is just your own self-satisfaction."

I tried my best to speak in a calm tone, but what was going on now? I felt like something was burning in my heart, as if the hottest dark flame in the world was scorching my heart. I became irritable unconsciously. I really didn't want to admit that I also had this side of me.

"Anyway, rewrite it for me."

The Star of the Sea in front of me pursed her lips tightly, her chest rising and falling slowly, as if she was suppressing something.

"From a rational point of view, I don't think I wrote anything wrong." Hai Zhixing said word by word, as if she wanted to nail these words into the air. Her eyes were staring straight at me, and I felt a little pressured.

"Not from a rational perspective, but purely from your perspective." My voice became cold. I did not look away again, staring straight at the Sea Star.

Tamasaka-san, who was standing by, seemed to be frightened by the confrontation between the two of us, and she mechanically said some meaningless words like "that, this, I think".

"It seems that you are unwilling to give up your own opinions." I whispered.

Star of the Sea did not answer what I said, but just grabbed her skirt tightly with both hands. Upon closer inspection, I found that there were tears in her eyes. But even so, she was still staring at me straight, and her eyes seemed to show no room for retreat, which made me feel a little at a loss.

It's over. How do I end this now? Although I didn't suppress my emotions and said those words, what should I do now? This is completely different from the script. Are you the determined North Star? Don't you know how to admit your mistakes? I am your teacher, your teacher. Please compromise like I did to Teacher Shizuka Hiratsuka.

It's Mr. Hiratsuka who pushed this problem to me. Please tell me how to solve the current situation. I haven't seen the students of Sobu High School for four years, but their fighting power has improved so much. How can I survive in this school in the future? Mr. Hiratsuka, you are really a strong person. You can survive in such a school until now.

As if in response to my expectations, the door of the club room was pushed open with a "bang". At that moment, for the first time in my life, I felt that it was a good habit for Mr. Hiratsuka to just push the door open since he didn't like knocking.

Should we try to make it a trend to push the door instead of knocking? Who knows how many lives we can save.

"Hikigaya, this issue's foreword is very good. I brought you a sample. By the way, let me remind you that the theme of the next issue of the school magazine is... Huh?" As if noticing that something was wrong with the atmosphere, Mr. Hiratsuka did not continue talking. Instead, he just stood there looking at me and Uminohei confronting each other.

Please don't just look at us like that, can you say something? This situation is really embarrassing for us.

Mr. Hiratsuka held his forehead with his hand and said helplessly, "A clash of problem children?"

Sorry, I am a problem person now.

"Umi no Hoshi, come with me for a while. Tamasaka-san, you go back first. As for you, Hikigaya, please stay in the office and don't move until I come to see you." In an instant, I felt that I was being treated unfairly again.

"Um, Xiaozou." Tamasaka seemed still worried and hesitated to say something.

"Don't worry, Tamasaka-san, you can go back first." Teacher Shizuka Hiratsuka seemed to be comforting Tamasaka-san.

"I'm fine, Xiaoyou, you go back first." Classmate Hai Zhixing also nodded slightly.

"Well, then I'll leave it to Mr. Hiratsuka." Tamasaka bowed sharply, then glanced at me secretly, as if confirming something. She whispered to me, "Goodbye, Mr. Hikigaya." Then she disappeared into the club room with her flaxen bun.

Immediately afterwards, Teacher Shizuka Hiratsuka and Umi no Hoshi walked out of the club room together. I mechanically locked the club room and then walked slowly alone in the afterglow of the sunset.

I know, I understood from the beginning that what Sea Star insisted on was her pride, so I would not hesitate to crush her pride, only in this way can I re-educate her, the gradual education method is not suitable for me, I pursue efficiency...

There's only so much I, and Mr. Hikigaya, can do.

But why did I feel an inexplicable tightness in my chest? Was it because the conclusion I reached in high school was overturned?

This is really unlike me. I am obviously a person who will not be easily shaken.

Not long after staying in the office, Mr. Hiratsuka came back with the Sea Star.

I don’t know if it was my illusion, but when the Star of the Sea met me again and looked at me with her rare blue eyes, I read something different from her eyes. Yes, she actually had a hint of pity...

Yes, it is pity. I am your teacher, Hai Zhixing classmate? Do you want me to use my privilege to give you more "iron fists of love"?

Hai Zhixing walked in front of me, and hesitated about what to say. Finally, as if she had made up her mind, she suddenly lowered her head, and her long brown hair slid down: "I'm sorry, Mr. Hikigaya, for touching upon your sad past."

"Huh?" I was so surprised that I almost spit out the coffee in my mouth. What kind of game is this? I don't remember any sad past that you touched on, although I have a lot of sad past.

"Teacher Hiratsuka told me everything," Hai Zhixing said, glancing away, "I will try my best to correct my character." Then, without giving me time to react, she took her schoolbag and flew away.

"This finally solves the problem." Teacher Hiratsuka nodded and said with satisfaction.

"It's strange that it's been solved. I have to be corrected on my character by my students for no apparent reason."

"Hikigaya, I hope you can understand what stupid things you have done. I am very angry now."

As soon as she finished speaking, she punched me hard in the abdomen. Because I did not expect her to hit me at all and my body was not prepared, it felt much more painful than usual. I covered my stomach with my hands and screamed in pain.

"Although I know what you're thinking, I always feel that I would be betraying the conscience of the world if I don't punch you." When will I feel betraying the conscience of the world if I don't punch me? How unpopular are you, Hikigaya-kun?

"Think about it, what would you think if I had described you like this when you wrote your first essay to me?"

"Eh, I can only sigh that there is a reason why I can't get married... oooo." Another powerful punch, I endured the pain and didn't know what to do, so I could only say carelessly: "Actually, well, considering my personality at the time, even if you did that, I wouldn't feel much."

"What if it's Yuigahama? What about Yukinoshita? Or anyone else besides you?"

"Well." I was speechless. Indeed, if it was a normal person, he probably wouldn't be calm. I'm used to being criticized, but if it was someone with a strong self-esteem, the result probably wouldn't be very good.

"So use the same method I used on you, normal and gradual." Hiratsuka-sensei said to me in an extremely serious tone.

"I know," I whispered.

"Speak louder."

"I know!" I raised my voice slightly.

"Although your voice still sounds so unmotivated, it is you, Hikigaya after all, so I will take it as your oath, and the teaching of the senior ends here." Eh? Wait, oath? Are you the head of state?

"Wait..." I had to get my doubts clear.

"I'm in a hurry to go on a date, sorry." Then Mr. Hiratsuka ran away like the wind.

Date you, you made up this excuse in a hurry, okay? Tell me what you said to the Star of the Sea.

Even as I was thinking this, Hiratsuka-sensei had already disappeared at the door. This guy's physical strength is surprisingly good.

I sighed, quietly packed up and prepared to go back.

"Hey, hasn't Mr. Hikigaya left yet?" A familiar voice came from behind me. I turned around and saw Teacher Reina, who was wearing a professional suit and had brown hair draped softly on her shoulders. The last rays of the setting sun were reflected behind her, making her fair skin look even whiter. Her delicate face bathed in the sunlight made her fighting power even more outstanding.

"Well, something." I turned my head away, not daring to look directly at her face. Oh no, she is so beautiful. What should I do if I accidentally fall in love with her?

"Mr. Hikigaya is really busy." Reina said with a smile.

"It's not as busy as you say. It's just some small things."

Reina laughed: "Yeah, it's just some small things. Hikigaya-sensei, keep up the good work."

"Yeah." I responded with a smile.

"Hikigaya-sensei, do you want to go back with us?"

"I have to be on duty, so I'll leave later."

"Is that so?" Reina said sadly, "I'll leave first then." Reina said hello, "Remember to lock the door, Mr. Hikigaya."

"Yeah." I gestured to show that I understood.

After Reina left, the staff room became quiet again, the temperature dropped little by little, and there were no more students participating in club activities on the playground. I slowly moved my gaze to the window, and my thoughts were clearer than ever before.

“Change slowly? I wonder if time is enough?” Thinking of this, I seemed to see the Star of the Sea again, with tears in its eyes today, but still staring at me straight.

Chapter 9 The Unchanging Woodwork

Human beings are probably the most adaptable creatures in the world. After all, looking at the entire history of the earth, 99.99% of the creatures on earth have become extinct. Human beings can survive because they are changeable and constantly adapt to the ever-changing environment. They use the so-called wisdom to constantly squeeze the living space of other creatures, thereby constantly expanding their own activity area and eventually becoming the overlord of the earth.

So humans are essentially animals that contain the gene for change. It is hard to find people who never change, because it is difficult to survive in this world without change. Even for me, if I hadn't made any changes, I would definitely be embarrassed because of my self-conceit in high school. Maybe I would think that Yukinoshita liked me and confess to her, and then be so sad that I wanted to die after being rejected. Then, all the boys and girls in the school would start to exclude me and laugh at me for not knowing my own worth.

Because my imagination was so specific, I felt a chill all over my body, as if I were in the middle of winter.

In other words, change is for survival. It is difficult to survive in this world without change. A person who never changes is definitely not an ordinary person.

Unfortunately, there is such a guy in front of me who is not an ordinary person.

"My dear friend, my swordsman general has come from afar to help you. Why are you on guard against the demon king?"

"I hope you don't think too much. I'm simply rejecting you, not warning you." My expression was serious.

"My dear friend, you really are not what you say or what you mean!"

"Yeah, I really do reject you. After all, if a lunatic suddenly runs into your house and yells that my fate will not end, I will not die until my mission is completed, and my pride will be the key to facing this difficulty, and other meaningless lines, I have already done my best to that person by not calling the police yet." I patiently explained to Zaimokuza, and by the way, expressed my disgust with you. If you are fine, just leave and don't disturb my rest.

"Do you remember my swordsman general's words clearly? It turns out that you, my best friend, also love and care for me!"

What kind of thinking circuit could interpret my obvious dislike like this? Zaimokuza, I underestimated you. You are indeed a fool beyond my imagination.

"So what exactly is the reason for your late night visit? Let me make it clear first, I still have to go to work tomorrow. If the matter is troublesome, please find someone else."