Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

Why do I feel like so many people are watching me?

Did I just do something weird?

[What's wrong with my movements? Are all the movements the same?]

[Or have I done something wrong to others in the past, and now I am stepping into a dangerous situation?]

......

Self-awareness that has reached this level will directly affect instinctive and intuitive judgments to a certain extent, which means that it reduces sensitivity to the external environment.

In order to avoid this from happening, I also made considerable efforts to hold on.

Finally, it is based on more accurate and rapid insights, rich individualistic experiences, etc. that the impulsive results brought about by self-awareness are calmed down.

The intuition we generate must be that we have noticed some details that our consciousness has not noticed. A little movement, the changing expression on someone else's face, or something that appears in front of us in an instant... Capture details in the environment, turn them into clues, and finally come up with ideas.

Of course, when you are facing away from others, you may wonder how you can detect other people's attention. This is the case of personality judgment. Even if it is a stranger you meet for the first time, people will subconsciously judge him or her at the first sight. We may not know the result clearly, but we can definitely draw a perfect conclusion.

In other words, this already meets the requirement of perceiving the gaze.

A suggestion to oneself.

Fundamentally speaking, after eliminating the interference of self-consciousness, that is, the first moment you see his appearance, you assume in your mind that "he is looking at me". This is also the psychology of human safety principles and the abstract feature that distinguishes machines from humans.

This also explains why people are less sensitive to cameras than to human line of sight.

If a person is aware of the majesty of a camera’s sight for the first time, it should not be underestimated, because this ability is usually acquired through training.

.......

"Now that I think about it, being watched closely by dozens of cameras doesn't feel good..."

As I imagined the image of the room, I unconsciously adjusted my posture.

"...What camera, what is falling on it?"

"Um, are you awake?"

Hearing my gossip, he opened his eyes in a daze from the sofa, covered his yawning mouth, then slowly stood up from the sofa and stretched.

For a moment I was fascinated by her curvy figure, but soon came to my senses.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"I slept by myself and I have a headache...So what on earth was Luo mumbling just now?"

"Nothing, just my thoughts on the story in the book." I raised the book in my hand indifferently.

It seems rather inappropriate to always hold it in my hand but not be able to call out its name...

"It's the same book again. Is this how Luo spends every day in the dormitory?"

"It's not every day. If I have to say it, I can only summarize it as often."

"Don't you feel bored? I mean, the feeling that your soul has nowhere to go."

"It's okay. I think it's a pretty good experience even if it just passes day by day... and there's nothing else I can do."

"What about personal pursuits?"

"...Like ending your life perfectly in your own way?"

"...What is that?" Ichinose frowned slightly, with a puzzled expression on her face, and her hair, which was covered with sweat, looked quite cute.

However, Ichinose did not dwell on this question too much, "Didn't Luo take the initiative to ask Okabe-san to go out and play games?"

"That's for sure. We also go for a walk occasionally during the summer vacation... Ichinose is definitely the same."

"Yeah, of course."

"But here we only play video games, or talk about the details of anime plots, and occasionally there are virtual singers' concerts or something like that... Speaking of which, can I ask what girls usually talk about when they get together?"

"Are you curious?"

"Not really. It's just that after getting used to the gatherings of boys, it's hard for me to imagine what girls do on a daily basis. Also, most girls don't seem to be as keen on games as boys... well, it's a lot of things piled up together, and it's hard for me to explain it clearly. But if it's inconvenient, don't tell me."

"It's not inconvenient, but it won't shock Luo Jun. It's just about idol stars, favorite music, and interesting things that I find interesting, but mostly gossip... It sounds pretty ordinary."

"Hmm... It feels like we've removed the topic of video games from the male conversation options... But there should still be things like shopping and cosmetics, right?"

"That kind of thing doesn't happen very often, only once or twice, so I didn't bring it up. It's the same as talking to a boy about what clothes to buy."

“…It feels so good.”

I thought about it and found that things were just as Ichinose said, so I nodded in agreement.

Because there was no air conditioning, and the windows of the dormitory were opened by Ichinose himself, the temperature inside the school building was the same as the outside world. Ichinose had already rolled up the long sleeves of his shirt, which were indeed a bit hot at this temperature.

Then Ichinose seemed to be unable to bear the hot weather, and she pinched the collar of her shirt with her delicate hands and pulled it a few times to let the wind in. However, this also showed her snow-white and flawless skin to me, and there was a slight red around her collarbone, which looked particularly attractive.

"..."

"This weather is too hot. I feel like I'm about to pass out... Don't you feel anything at all?"

"...Can't Ichinose see the sweat on my cheeks?"

I pretended to stroke my face with my fingertips, and then a drop of water was brought out by my finger, condensing at the tip and dripping onto my trouser leg.

"Yeah... well, now I feel like my entire back is soaked, as well as my chest..."

"If you really can't stand it, maybe tie your hair up...By the way, does Ichinose have a hair tie?"

"Yes, but I left them in the dormitory. Because the Zelkova Shopping Center has air conditioning, and I didn't expect things to turn out like this, so I didn't bring them out. What a miscalculation... Luo, can you lend me that magazine to use as a fan?"

"no problem."

I pulled myself away and took the magazine out of the pile of books on the desk.

"It might leave a fold mark on it, but that shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"I don't have a particular mentality of taking good care of books. Besides, I've already read everything in them and was planning to throw them away in the next few days, so I'll just use them as much as I can."

“That’s really touching—huh?”

Just when Ichinose was about to take the magazine, I reached my hand back, causing Ichinose to miss it.

"...Are you still reluctant to let go?"

"No, it just suddenly occurred to me that there's no need to go through so much trouble. In fact, there are better alternatives."

I suddenly recalled the item that had been in the bedside table for a long time. I had kept it in the cabinet like an antique since I bought it, and now I think that because of the air conditioner, I had hardly used it.

"A better alternative? Is this... a fan?"

"Well, compared to magazines, a fan is relatively easier to operate, and it also saves more effort."

"But is it really okay for me to use this? There's no sign of the outer packaging being opened. Is it actually for collection?"

"It's not a valuable item, nor is it worth collecting. The reason why the outer packaging is not opened is simply because I have never had the opportunity to use it."

"Besides, now that I've taken it out, Ichinose doesn't have to worry about using it."

If I really wanted to consider it as a collectible, I would also deliberately forget that it exists.

"Then I won't be polite."

As soon as he finished speaking, Ichinose began to dismantle the packaging without leaving any traces, and the fan that had been stored with me for several months finally revealed its full appearance.

From the surface, the folding fan has a silk texture and a very classical and elegant color, with a nostalgic and soft tone, and the pattern on it is mainly cherry blossoms.

"Well, how should I put it... it feels a bit girly."

"I also think so."

"...Did Luo buy it at the auction without even seeing the whole thing?"

"I have seen the full picture before, but I was probably distracted by other things at the time. I thought it was dark red before I bought it."

The exquisite pattern is inspired by the cherry blossoms in ancient textbooks, and the folding fan is made using traditional Chinese craftsmanship. The overall effect looks unique and impeccable.

At least that's how it looks in my 'ordinary' eyes.

"So Luo likes dark red?"

"No, I just prefer the color to be darker, maybe it's due to my nature, just like my hair color...if it's not in a lighter natural tone."

"Well... isn't that just grey?"

"It could also be that I like the color characteristics of gray, I think..."

"What if it's my hair color?"

The main attribute of Ichinose's hair color is in the pink series, I mean the pink series in the traditional Japanese color card. This is a color tone that I prefer. Although there are some types that lean towards purple like the light red vine, I can adapt to more than half of the tones most directly.

Ichinose's hair color happens to be the most purely acceptable rainbow color, which can be understood as pink and white.

“I quite like the pink and white tones.”

I nodded, strengthening my judgment on this.

After receiving my reply, Ichinose also smiled happily.

After that, Ichinose couldn't wait to use it. I squinted my eyes, and then returned my gaze to the nameless book. From time to time, Ichinose fanned the breeze on the side.

However, this peace was broken after only a few dozen minutes.

At first I didn't care much, but then Ichinose started flapping her collar more and more often, which made me pay attention. It seemed that her tolerance for the temperature had reached its limit, and the fan was placed aside.

"call--"

"Is it still hot?"

"Oh, sorry, did I bother you?"

"Let's just say... the fan still doesn't help cool the temperature down?"

"No, but even if I keep flapping, my arms will get very tired. I can't hold on any longer."

"That's it..."

Ichinose continued to blow a few breaths of cool air on herself, and looking at the expression on her face I felt like she was about to riot in the next moment.

"You look miserable..."

"Yeah, I feel like I'm going to pass out."

"It's not a good idea to go on like this. It would be troublesome if I got heat stroke."

"I was just joking. It's not that exaggerated."

"But judging from the current actions, Ichinose is in trouble."

"no problem."

"Anyway, this isn't a solution...Give me the fan."

"Eh?"

Although Ichinose was a little confused, he still did as I said.

"Can Ichinose come closer to me?"

"What is this going to do?"

"It will be more convenient this way."

"Oh......"

Under my persuasion, Ichinose finally moved to my side. I put my hand behind Ichinose and fanned him sideways.

"It would be better this way."

"Hey, this..."

After seeing my action, Ichinose's body was obviously a little stiff, and after she realized what was happening, she tried to shirk the responsibility. I grabbed her phone and put it in Ichinose's hand.

"Ichinose, just stay like this."

"...Will it be okay to bother Luo like this?"

"Don't worry, I can enjoy the cool breeze here too."

"Well, then I will accept it without hesitation."

Ichinose smiled with relief, and then started playing with his phone.

Although I wanted to know what Ichinose was doing on her phone, I felt that it would not be a good idea to pry into her mid-action, so my eyes were irresistibly drawn to another point.