Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

"It's finally over." My body slumped on the wooden seat as if my spirit had been drained. It was a painful experience to squeeze in a group of women for an entire study session and endure the ambiguous gazes of others.

Everything has a first time, but why was my first time so anxious and uncomfortable?

"Luo, it's time to go to dinner."

"You don't need to remind me of this kind of thing. I'm not a child."

"It's because I'm just too lazy."

I really apologize for the word lazy.

After parting at the library, Kanzaki and I had dinner in the school cafeteria and then returned to the dormitory. The weather in May was not strong enough to make me sweat, but I decided to go to the bathroom to rinse off.

In the mirror, I carefully observed my body. The scars left by branches piercing my skin a few months ago have completely healed, and there is no trace on the surface. So far, I still maintain a perfect body. This habit has not changed since the beginning.

I put on my bathrobe and returned to the living room/bedroom area. With nothing else to do, I watched the entire movie by myself.

The movie is wonderful, and the content is something I can't imagine. I think I have never given such a high evaluation to a movie. The only pity is that I, as a viewer, am not watching it as a couple. After all, movies don't seem to be something for one person to enjoy.

Thinking of this, I opened the boys’ group chat.

They were talking about an internet goddess named "Shizuku", and I followed the ladder they built and clicked on a swimsuit picture. Then I couldn't help but click on the official website of "Shizuku" and admired the photos of this energetic idol.

I thought it was just a meaningless act to kill time, but I got some unexpected news. For example, 'Shizuku' is a student in our school........ Maybe it's a coincidence, the background of her latest photo is exactly the same as the structure of the dormitory I am in.

Maybe he's one of our freshmen, maybe I could even get his autograph or something.

I tried to imagine the adventure unfolding, but in the end I couldn't get it going. I threw my phone on the sofa with a self-deprecating look and opened the window that created a sense of alienation.

There were insects chirping outside the window, the night wind was blowing, and there was a sense of peace in the air. I began to think about what had happened recently.

Everything is going smooth.

I met Ichinose by chance, we were in the same class by chance, and we sat in front and behind each other. I successfully introduced myself, made friends, and integrated into the class... No, I should say that the class successfully "integrated" me, and I also got to know two people from Class D.

It went too smoothly. Class B had a huge advantage at the start.

However, even so, this is such a class, I can also notice his shortcomings. So far, I am still the same as that team action that year, unable to empathize and unable to do things myself.

"Aren't we teammates......?"

I recalled the hideous face he had before he died, every pore of his face revealed unspeakable confusion.

Ah, at least I flatter you—it is a great talent to keep one's talents to oneself.

So, I will do it in every way.

Outside the window, the sound of insects chirping suddenly died down, and the light from the street lamps quietly cast shadows. The mottled and mixed rhythmic shadows constantly mocked the meaning of my existence.

Let’s not sleep tonight.

I closed the window and stopped looking at the world full of alienation.

Chapter 16 The Non-Existent Eavesdropper

I don't know when I forgot what fatigue felt like. Maybe it was because of the effect of the drugs, but now I can only feel the drowsy pleasure of being worse than death in endless sleep.

People feel pain when they live, and I am no exception. I tried my best to find the ultimate source of pain, but I never got there.

Come to think of it, it seems like it’s been a while since I wandered around the dark alleys late at night, so why not do that today?

I sat alone in the swivel chair and looked out the window at the endless night. The dormitory manual did not have strict regulations on door access, but only reminded us that it was best not to go out late at night, so this behavior would not be directly punished.

I've always been the type to do what I say, so I took my room card, walked smoothly through the corridor, and pressed the start button for the elevator. The elevator went up to the fourth floor as usual.

As usual, we went up to the fourth floor...

"what?"

Watching this familiar daily routine, I couldn’t help but feel a horrifying possibility rising up from deep within me.

No way, this is too weird, isn't it? That kind of thing is absolutely impossible.

I tried desperately to deny the answer I had come up with in my mind, but the moment the elevator door opened my fantasy was completely shattered.

"......No way?" The people in the elevator were the first to express disbelief.

"Why aren't you sleeping at this time?" I continued to complain to him.

"The room was a bit stuffy and I couldn't sleep, so I thought about going downstairs to buy some drinks..."

"This is too strange."

What is this? Pressing the elevator button to summon Kiyotaka Ayanokouji? Either I have acquired strange powers, or there must be something wrong with him. I just can't believe that such a coincidence exists in the world.

"I'm confused here too. It feels like you're following me."

"Please don't treat me as a pervert. If possible, I would like to try my best to avoid you."

If this is really a coincidence, then what is the reason that two unrelated people have almost the same living patterns, thinking and behaviors?

I looked at him obscurely, and at the same time, I felt a sense of alarm in my heart, as if I was being hunted. He must have some kind of connection with me, but as it seems now, neither of us can be sure. But who can be linked to me?

While we were still doubting, we had already arrived in front of the vending machine, bought a bottle of drink each, and then occupied the body of the vending machine like a bad boy in junior high school.

"Did you guys have a good test this time?" I inadvertently interrupted the silence that was only filled by the chirping of insects.

"Is Luo trying to find out about our class?"

"If you think so, it seems that there is no problem. But I am just asking casually. If you feel that you are at a disadvantage, I might as well tell you about the situation in our class. Although I don't think there is anything to talk about academic ability."

"You know this even if you don't ask. This school divides classes according to students' abilities, so for Class D, the result of this quiz should be easy to know."

"Is it really going to be difficult? Are you okay?"

"My situation is also very dangerous. If I make a mistake, I might be expelled. Just maintaining my grades is hard enough... Being in Class B means my grades should be pretty good, right?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you. My grades this time are only at the bottom of the class, and it's also because of this exam that I had to participate in the class's own study session. The good grades of Class B can only be reflected in the overall performance, although there don't seem to be many students at the bottom of the class."

“Are your grades dangerous?”

"That being said, I still have the ability to protect myself, but everyone in Class B is very worried about students falling behind... By the way, I have seen the class points this month, and your Class D has zero points, which means there are no points to remit this month. Do you have enough points?"

"One hundred thousand points is a huge sum of money. It's enough for one person to spend for several months."

Yes, the school should have considered this issue and set the initial points to 100,000.

I rested my weight on the hard trunk of the vending machine and shook the bottle of Fujiya peach juice in my hand; Ayanokouji leaned against the wall, staring at the light under the street lamp, not sure what he was thinking.

We didn't know how much time had passed until the drink in the can was finished and thrown into the trash can, making a sound of metal colliding. Only then did the silence end.

"Are you going to stay here any longer?" Ayanokouji asked me when he saw me still standing in front of the trash can.

I hesitated for a moment; the current situation didn't seem suitable to continue.

"No, I plan to go back too. Let's go."

When we returned to the elevator door, the elevator was not waiting for us as we thought, but was in the starting state and climbing up, straight to the seventh floor. That was the girls' floor.

"There are unexpectedly many people who didn't sleep tonight."

I turned my head to look at the electronic display screen beside me, and when the elevator door opened, a woman with long straight black hair and a delicate chest area came into view.

"I remember this woman is your personal counselor... You didn't plan to have a tryst, and I interrupted you?" Looking at the woman named Horikita Suzune on the screen, I couldn't help but ask Ayanokouji. I thought he would show off, but he flatly denied it.

"If I have a girlfriend, she would be the least likely one. And she doesn't seem to take me seriously from the bottom of her heart... Sorry, I think I need to hide away for a while."

"Well, a guilty conscience?"

"I would feel awkward if I met my classmates at this time. She might also misunderstand our relationship and even accuse me of betraying the class."

".......She doesn't sound very friendly."

"Anyway, I'll step aside for a while." After saying this, Ayanokouji hurriedly hid in the shadow of the vending machine. It was an excellent hiding place that could be made in a short period of time. If no one looked carefully, I don't think anyone would be able to find it.

To be honest, I don't really want others to know that I'm hanging around outside at this time, but this seems to have been exposed from the beginning, so I might as well just go for it.

After the elevator door opened, I passed by Ayanokouji's study counselor. The girl always had a cold look on her face, but when our eyes met just now, she actually showed a hint of fear.

I had never frightened her, so the only possibility was that she didn't want others to know about this trip. But even so, she quickly suppressed her panic and didn't threaten me.

I pressed the number three button as if nothing had happened, and quickly stepped out of the elevator when I arrived.

"My shoelaces are loose..."

It was a rare case that both shoes were untied at the same time. I bent down and slowly tied the laces. When I was about to tie the second shoe, the sound of the elevator door opening came again. Probably to save power, the lights installed in the dormitory corridor were voice-activated and the lighting time was very short. When I finished tying the laces and carried them, the corridor was already dark.

The elevator was in operation, rising from the first floor. I stood up shakily, and for a moment I lost my balance and my shoulder hit the wall hard. The sound of the collision also caused the lights in the corridor to light up quickly, completely covering the light from the elevator.

Really, if there weren't cameras in the corridor and the electronic display screen that can show the internal conditions of the elevator was only on the first floor, I wouldn't have to go through so much trouble.

I swiped my key card and returned to my room.

1

My seatmate is a beautiful girl named Horikita Suzune, and her brother is the president of the student council of this school - Horikita Manabu.

After I followed Horikita's worryingly cautious behavior and successfully stopped the student council president from committing violence against his sister, I made a contract with Horikita because I couldn't bear the passion in my heart.

Strength, equality... I quickly figured out the reason why I came to this school without thinking carefully. But I probably just wanted to get out of that man's control and gain freedom.

I sat on the wooden chair that had been there not long before the incident, sorting out my confused thoughts.

After calming down, I stood up and walked around the street corner, and continued to walk to the other side of the wall. At the end was a row of green grass, and on one side was a large lawn. The moonlight could not penetrate this area, and was replaced by dim light that was several times weaker.

I turned on the built-in lighting function of my phone and carefully observed the degree of compression of the soil and the creases between the branches.

There is no trace, is it just an illusion?

Then I checked the locations of the surrounding surveillance cameras again. This point was not taken care of at all, but the exits from the intersection would be recorded.

After learning all this, I returned to the dormitory lobby. When I sent Horikita upstairs, I had confirmed that the elevator was on the fourth floor, and the note stuck on the elevator door had not moved.

"The double doors of the emergency exit staircase have not been opened either..."

Am I really being too suspicious?

I quietly waited for the elevator from the seventh floor, while retrieving the note stuck in the crack of the door. After realizing that there were no electronic display screens on the floors other than the first floor, I returned to my room.

Only then did I start to think about the decision I made on impulse. Maybe I had made a devil's contract.

Chapter 17: The Death Stare from Shiraha

"Welcome to the school where power is everything."

At the beginning of May, Mr. Xingzhigong used this sentence as the closing remarks of the morning meeting. It was also from this moment that I began to think about the so-called strength.

What is strength?

At first glance this question seems very simple, and we can also get the definition of this word in the dictionary - it refers to real power.

At the national level, scholars divide power into hard power and soft power. Hard power refers to dominant power, which refers to a country's economic, military and technological power. In simple terms, it is a physical and material ability that can be directly observed and touched. Soft power is an invisible force, which can be said to be a kind of ability. In terms of the heart, it achieves its goals through attraction rather than coercion or inducement.

However, at the individual level, the concept of strength is somewhat vague. Some scholars treat it in the same way as at the national level. However, it is impossible to clearly divide it. If we have to say it, it can only be classified into two categories: soul and spirit.

Of course, from the most superficial perspective, it can be said that strength is the embodiment of power and wisdom.

Pull, grip, push...

Technology, innovation, reasoning......

Individual competition can be treated as war, strength is firepower, wisdom is strategy. In war, only by combining the two can we win every battle. Then the question comes back. What is the specific manifestation of firepower and strategy in individuals? What do guns, troops, blueprints, routes, etc. represent?

So far, I am still discussing the conclusion of this issue, but the loud conversation has brought my wandering thoughts back to the starting point.

"I remember now. It's Francis Bacon!"

"bingo."

I remember that there is a rule in the library that prohibits loud noises. Not far away is a study session held by the students of Class D. As for why I know it is Class D, it is because half of the members are my acquaintances.

Ayanokouji, Horikita, and Kushida-san.

Tutoring...So we decided to solve this problem together. I thought Ayanokouji would be lucky enough to have one-on-one tutoring with a beautiful girl.

"Don't they know to keep quiet in the library?" Bai Bo complained to my right.

The full name of this Shiranami classmate is Shiranami Chihiro, and her grades are at the top of the class. She is an assistant to Ichinose in his teaching.

"It won't be a problem if Shiranami-san doesn't attend the study session."

"But if I don't come to help, then Xiao Fanbo will have to bear too much responsibility. Wouldn't Luo feel the same way? This is really heartbreaking."

"It's not a big deal. Everyone has a good learning ability and will catch up quickly." Ichinose responded with a smile.