Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

But for Jiye and I, the meeting place is not so important. As long as the effect can be achieved, it is okay even if we are invited to our respective rooms. I think this may be the case, although it seems subtle to step into the room of the opposite sex............

In addition, the fact that we met so often was not because of tutoring, but because we just chatted casually with each other. After all, we were like the odd ones out in the class, and we were more casual in our free time than other people. After I got used to Jiye's mood changes, the relationship between me and Jiye was not as awkward as it was at the beginning.

What else is there in the relationship between boys and girls besides sex and love?

Could it be pure friendship? I kept thinking about this question.

It is not uncommon for boys and girls to talk to each other as friends in our Class A, but it seems to be distorted in other classes or even in the whole society.

There are also endless opinions on this aspect in the online information.

After listening to various opinions, I finally came to a conclusion - pure friendship between boys and girls is not impossible, but the possibility of it existing is very small.

Pure friendship, whether between the same sex or the opposite sex, requires both parties to have extremely high comprehensive qualities. In most cases, the occurrence of a relationship really depends on the existence of human instinct, not pure friendship. Not to mention the sexual exploitation of both men and women.

From a formal point of view, the time I spend with Ji Ye is more like a date. Although I know very well that this is not the case, it is hard to tell from the perspective of others............

After today’s classes, we will have an unknown number of remedial classes.

I don't care how the relationship between me and Ji Ye will develop and what the result will be. The value of a person has been determined from the beginning, and no matter which of us changes, the result will not matter.

Such thoughts may change at the end of the long journey of life, but they are no longer what I need to think about at the moment.

"............Will it look too formal if the tie is tied too tightly?"

It's rare that I think about my appearance before going out, but when I actually start to do it, I find that it's much more difficult to take care of my appearance than I thought. The different ways of handling each detail will give different feelings to other people.

After all, this is the impression others have of me, and it is not something I can control.

I pulled the tie's opening with a little force, expanding it to a point where my neck wouldn't feel constricted, while making sure it could be easily untied at any time.

"That's about it... Well, anyway, I don't care."

I don't know if I've reached a level that I'm satisfied with. I don't want to worry about my image anymore. I scratched my hair in annoyance. I might even have a "chicken nest" on my head now.

Girls pay more attention to their appearance than boys.

"I am leaving."

Although I don't know why I shouted this meaningless sentence in my dormitory room where I live alone, I still did it. Recently, there is always a special premonition sprouting deep in my heart, and it is becoming more and more difficult to control.

............Could it be [adolescent mania]?

Emotions are high, thoughts are racing, will activity is heightened...but there is no sense of reality.

[This is probably the unique restlessness of boys during puberty. ]

I joked about my bad mood while welcoming a new beautiful day, but it turned out badly again after opening the moving elevator door.

Although I try to pay attention to the operation of the elevator every day, I was careless today. I knew the elevator was going down, but I still pressed the button to stop it.

God's [Curse] on the world is still running as usual today. Is it because I don't have the ability to fight against God that I am weak, or is there really a way to deal with that kind of existence?

I am confused about the definition of this world.

Regardless, I stepped into the elevator space where I was alone with Ayanokouji.

"Good morning." The other party greeted me proactively.

"Good morning............"

"Come to think of it, it seems like we haven't run into each other in the morning elevator for a while."

“…Is this something worth remembering?”

"No, not really. I just want to express my feelings a little bit."

"......"

The elevator was well soundproofed, and the mechanical roar when it started did not come in at all. The numbers on the electronic screen on the right also changed with the floor. Although my dormitory was on the third floor, the elevator could reach the lobby on the first floor in a few seconds, but the waiting time was still unavoidable.

A silent yet restless space is unbearable for anyone.

“…………..what can I do for you?”

"Why do you ask?"

Ayanokouji did not directly answer my question.

"The reason is obvious. You've been staring at me since the beginning."

"............Even if I am not within your sight, does this judgment still hold true?"

"Who knows? Maybe that was just my guess. I'm trying to make a further judgment based on your next statement."

"So does the result agree with your guess?"

"probably."

"What a poorly executed turn of events..."

No one knows whose conclusion is, and that is why we are having this conversation.

The elevator rumbled as if it was opening a door to catastrophe. After I stepped out of the elevator, I wanted to keep my distance from him as usual, but my body followed Ayanokouji's side without anyone noticing, and he felt the same way as me.

What follows is an inevitable conversation, whether it makes sense or not.

"............Are you free this weekend?"

"I would love to answer [yes], but unfortunately my weekends are already fully booked with study plans. Especially at this special time like exams, students are probably busy."

"I see......" After hearing my answer, Ayanokouji paused for a moment, "Can we meet on Sunday?"

This week's Sunday............that is, November 11. It's a bit early to talk about this time now.

"My study schedule is packed. I told you that."

"Isn't this an excuse to politely refuse?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to deceive you, this is the truth. Also, even if it's a polite refusal, do you still choose to insist on the invitation?"

"I just asked casually just now. It doesn't matter whether there is any arrangement or not."

"If that's the case, then there's no point wasting your breath."

"Well, I think it won't seem so sudden if we progress the topic gradually."

"It will become the goal in the end anyway."

Although I got up early today, the flow of people on the way to school is still hard to ignore. If possible, I hope to reduce my contact with students from other classes during this special time, even if they are not my competitors in this special exam.

"It's really disturbing............"

So far, both of us have only stayed on the surface in terms of language and actions. In-depth contact will only become dangerous when the purpose is clear.

"trade."

"......"

Knowing that nothing would change if this continued, Ayanokouji directly stated his purpose.

"I want to make a deal with you."

“…I refuse.”

I don't think there is anything that this man needs me to accomplish. Rather than calling it a deal, I'm better at executing on interests.

"That's too much. I haven't even told you the details of the deal yet."

"Just based on my feeling, I don't think it's a good thing."

“[Intuitive judgment]…Really?”

"Compared to reality, this has no basis in fact. I just simply don't want to accept it."

"So, what if I said this deal includes you?"

"............What's the meaning."

"That's what it means literally."

"Use and change............?"

The statement was surprisingly frank, but straightforward language cannot be trusted in this conversation.

"You can understand it this way. Compared to the premise purpose, if the plan is affected by unstable variables, it seems completely meaningless. What I am talking about now is your flaws."

"............You seem quite sure."

"You seem to be having a great time lately."

"What are you feeling now? Can you clarify?"

First there was a sentence that seemed to have nothing to do with the topic, and then the topic became extremely direct.

"Is that what you are sure of?"

"Perhaps I am just wishful thinking and self-righteously seeking a solution, but I hope that the changes can be controlled. So far, if I let you continue like this, I can't see the so-called ending."

“It is inevitable that unexpected accidents may occur in the predicted future, isn’t it?”

“Although I do have selfish motives and I want to prove my conclusions, I am more concerned about the main variables of process factors.”

"............It sounds like destruction is inevitable."

"Or - are you longing for death?"

Words of disbelief popped out of the other person's mouth, and the empty eyes reflected in the other person's pupils could not see the future.

I don't know how Ayanokouji came to this conclusion, but what is certain is that he sees my problems more clearly than I do.

But I don't like this feeling, so - I plan to take advantage of the situation.

"time."

0

After parting with Ayanokouji, I headed straight to the classroom belonging to Class A.

There were only a few people in the class, and it was surprising that a lazy student like me would appear in the classroom at this time. However, because the students in the classroom were all studying hard, no one noticed my situation.

I went to my seat indifferently, feeling the sad fact of my existence.

"Good morning, Luo."

Ichinose stopped writing the test paper with his signature pen and turned to greet me.

【Ah, I've been noticed.】

"Good morning."

Even so, I didn't have any special reaction. To be honest, I'm not the kind of person who gets excited about things like this.

"You came very early today. Is there any special reason?"

"Nothing, just a coincidence."

It was a rare opportunity for me to arrive at school early, but I encountered some unpleasant changes at the beginning. This blow inevitably made me feel a little heavy.

The only thing that can comfort me is that Ichinose is dressed cuter than ever.

Although there was no change in her clothing, her waist-length hair was tied into a high ponytail, and the hair that fell carelessly on both sides of her cheeks made me feel a little moved for some reason.

The citrus scent is also soothing.

If I continue like this, I might end up falling for Ichinose.

So I threw my messenger bag on my seat and rushed to get out of here.

But just before I could get away, Ichinose grabbed my wrist.

Although she was smiling, the expression on Ichinose's face was somehow forced, and she looked very tired. Speaking of which, I haven't communicated with Ichinose much recently, and I don't know if anything unexpected happened to her.

However, it will not exceed expectations.

"What's matter?"

I asked her.

"......"

Ichinose opened her mouth, but swallowed the words and shook her head.

"Can I... ask what Luo Jun is planning to do next?"

“Is this some kind of necessary itinerary notification?”

"Haha, that's not it. I just want to know. I don't mean to force you. If you don't want to say it..."