Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

"Himeno is not such a petty person. Besides, after what happened just now, Ichinose probably wants to ask me some questions."

"Eh, yeah. That's it. I have some questions I want to confirm with Luo Jun............"

Ichinose responded and nodded.

"Then let's eat together at noon. I also have some questions I want to ask Ichinose."

"I want that, too......"

Ichinose raised his head and responded to me formally.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Luo Jun and Xiao Xue's lunch, but if Xiao Xue misunderstands me because of this, I will explain it to her."

"Misunderstanding, that's a bit too serious. After all, this is related to the class special exam, and no one can do anything about it."

"excuse me."

Ichinose said with an unbearable look on his face.

Compared to this, I might prefer to hear something like "It's a promise." from Ichinose.

It's just that time has not come yet......

Looking at Ichinose in front of me, I began to doubt myself again.

Did I really calculate this?

.............Maybe.

Who made me such a [dirty] person?

Chapter 203 PLACEBO

[Sorry, lunch doesn't seem to be able to meet Ji Ye's expectations.]

[I think so. It’s probably because of what happened this morning.]

[That's it, there are some things Ichinose needs to confirm. I think I have to participate.]

[After all, Luo is the suspect.]

[Sorry. About lunch.]

[It’s not a big deal, and I didn’t propose this.]

[But I still have to trouble Ji Ye for the study session this afternoon.]

[I don’t confuse the two things. Anyway, I get it.]

Maybe it would be quicker to talk to Jiye directly in class, but then she might not be able to move freely. The pressure of the environment cannot be relieved overnight for Jiye, and it will take a long time to heal. At present, we need to be extra cautious in handling her. If we fail, it will be difficult to return to the current state, at least we can't cause her to be disgusted.

I put away my phone and looked aimlessly at the scenery outside the window.

In just half a day, I received appointments and attacks from all sides. In such a short period of time, even if my actual campus life is free, I will have the illusion of being busy.

Then, I thought back on my life in the past and realized that it didn’t feel real.

I have been trying to figure out why this doesn't feel real.

No sense of responsibility, absent-mindedness, organic disease............

There are many reasons, but none of them can clearly explain the current situation, or maybe I have heard about it a long time ago and try my best to ignore that possibility on weekdays.

Turning back, the idle after-school time is about to end. I had planned to spend my days sleeping like before, but because of Sakayanagi's sudden persecution, my existence has attracted the attention of the students in the class, especially some of my close friends.

Although Shiratori and the others knew that they would not have a definite conclusion until after the class meeting, they still couldn't help but care. The words were just a joke, but the pressure of the gaze was really transmitted to me.

It turns out that long-term interpersonal relationships are so troublesome to deal with...

I once again met the eyes of Ichinose who was sitting at the table in front of me, and our eyes locked.

In comparison, this side seemed relaxed, and Ichinose didn't even impose pressure. For such expectations, she would only turn them into a burden on her shoulders. It was not a problem in the field of leadership or staff, but a personal reaction.

"...........Ichinose looks like he's worried. What's wrong?"

Even if we don't take Ichinose's personality into consideration, no matter how bad his personal reaction was, he should have known that something was wrong with the other person after staring at him in silence for such a long time.

I heard the faint sound of mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. That was Ichinose's voice.

"I am a little concerned about...Xiaoxue..."

"I've just explained this to Himeno, and she understands our situation, so Ichinose shouldn't feel any psychological burden about this matter. Besides, Himeno was planning to enjoy lunch alone anyway."

"So it was Luo Jun who took the initiative to invite Ji Ye to have lunch together......"

Ichinose moved a little closer.

At this moment, is Ichinose expecting something in his heart?

"Yeah. I invited you when we happened to meet at the convenience store. We even grabbed the same fried noodles bread."

"Xiaoxue probably agreed very readily."

"That's probably the case."

I thought back to my experience at the convenience store that morning, and I wasn't sure if that situation could be called "refreshing," so in the end I just gave a vague answer.

But Ichinose seemed to take it as an affirmation, although I had no intention of clearing up this misunderstanding... After all, the feelings of the other party depend on this incident, and I couldn't directly use past conversations as direct proof.

"........... Luo Jun just suddenly wanted to buy lunch at the convenience store, right?"

"It's probably okay to say that I had planned this long ago. I want to experience it a little bit."

I vaguely want to let myself experience a certain feeling, the courage to start over psychologically. It's like not being able to solve the local situation clearly, so I feel very overwhelmed.

There is always a chance to achieve anything, and I am looking for that.

Because I really have no confidence.

It's like buying drip coffee at a convenience store. I don't feel confident that I can make a cup of coffee smoothly from a cup filled with only ice cubes.

However, this is not enough to compare, this kind of situation where most people think that if something goes wrong, it will be no big deal as long as they give it a try. After all, it is something that has never been tried before, so even if it goes wrong, it is just an immature failure.

All of this happens over and over again. Even if it is actually a performance, the moment the fraud begins, it is enough to leave an impression and change people's hearts.

There is a sentence in Dazai Osamu's book "No Longer Human" - "In just one night, my heart has become like two different people."

It is pitifully thin, and human hearts are hard to change; if they are shaped many times, it happens overnight.

"But it's surprising that Ichinose wants to buy lunch at a convenience store. Is there a reason?"

On the contrary, it is not surprising that students with personalities similar to mine would do such things.

“…I just want to experience it, haha.”

"That's really a coincidence."

"Hmm...what a coincidence."

Ichinose laughed dryly a few times, then slowly pursed his lips.

There is a sense of misunderstanding...

"Have you decided where to have lunch later? There are many areas in the school where eating is prohibited, and it's not easy to find a place... Or should we eat in the school cafeteria?"

"No, not the school cafeteria."

As soon as he finished speaking, Ichinose responded immediately.

I was the one asking her where to eat, but her answer seemed to be rejecting my suggestion. Then Ichinose covered her lips as if she had said something wrong.

"...I hope to find a place with fewer people, so it will be more convenient to talk...Rooftop, is that okay?"

"The rooftop? Aren't those places forbidden to enter?"

Before entering school, I learned about the basics of campus life. If I remember correctly, in order to deal with the high suicide rate and accident rate of students in the country, schools generally take measures to strictly prohibit students from entering the rooftops. Just in case, the Ministry of Education of Japan has also issued a policy to strictly require schools to set up high iron protection nets on the rooftops.

Judging from Ichinose's words and actions, the rooftop of this school is probably a free and relatively open area.

"I asked Mr. Hoshinomiya and she said it's okay. There are fewer people there and it's easier to talk... Is that okay?"

I thought carefully about the possible locations of the scene. There are many different possibilities for this location, and it is impossible to summarize it in absolute terms. If possible, I would prefer to have it in a dormitory room.

However, what needs to be done right now is to relax Ichinose's vigilance. If she wants to go to the rooftop and meets the requirements, then that would be the best thing.

"We're having lunch on the rooftop. Just me and Ichinose, right?"

"Yes, it's just me and Luo Jun."

I paid a little attention to the empty seat at the next table. Since Kanzaki had chosen to meet, he wouldn't care about how things turned out for the time being.

Although I have had many experiences of being alone with Ichinose in the past, I still feel a little excited. Having lunch alone with a beautiful girl on the rooftop may become a rare memory...

[hehe. ]

I was mocked by myself.

"Is this rooftop location difficult?"

"No, just do as Ichinose says. I'm just looking forward to it."

"That's good. I'm looking forward to it too."

Ichinose misunderstood the reason for my hesitation. It would have been better if I could have expressed my expectations directly at this time.

"In that case, Ichinose, please leave the lunch box to me."

"Hey, why?"

"Ichinose might not be used to eating cold bento, and the fried noodles and bread might be better when they're hot, so I want to take it to the convenience store and heat it up."

"Can I come along?"

"I have shopping bags in my hand. Even if Ichinose wants to go with us, it will be easier if she leaves them with me. But I think it's OK for me to be the only one to bother with this matter. Ichinose can rest in the classroom for a while before going to the rooftop. After all, the weather in November is still quite cold."

"You've already considered this......"

I decided to ignore Ichinose's mumbling.

"Come to think of it, I remember Ichinose wanted something else. Can you tell me? I'll take care of it while I can."

"Drink, I want to drink."

It is indeed a soup? If it is red bean soup, that would be convenient.

"Is there anything specific you want?"

“…red bean soup.”

"I understand. If I'm not there by the time Ichinose reaches the rooftop, please wait a moment. I'll accomplish my goal as quickly as possible."

"...........Well, I'll be waiting for Luo-kun over there. So it's okay to be a little slower, just be careful."

Ichinose tucked the falling hair behind her ears, but it slipped down again without her noticing.

Just by looking at it, you can feel the trustworthy tenderness.

0

The bell rang simultaneously announcing the end of morning classes and the beginning of lunch break, and I hurried out of the classroom with the idea of ​​finishing as quickly as possible.

I should have been confident in my speed until now, but after I walked out of the classroom, I still met the eyes of Himeno who was standing at the front door. After throwing the empty milk carton into the trash can nearby, he walked towards me and was slightly stunned when he saw me.

So that box of milk was part of breakfast?

Then, we both left with our lunch......

In fact, it seems that Himeno also happened to be going to the convenience store.

"I'm so sorry about lunch."

"Haven't you already discussed this matter on your phone?"

"But after all, I still need to say it in person to make it more realistic, and also to make sure whether Ji Ye is angry or not... Sorry, I was just kidding."

After I said this, Jiye pouted slightly in dissatisfaction and glared at me.

"Of course I understand this kind of thing. How could I be angry?"

"I also know that Ji Ye won't get angry over such a small matter, so I said it was a joke. After all, Ji Ye has a pretty good temper."

Unexpectedly, after hearing what I said, Ji Ye became a little at a loss, but finally turned his head away awkwardly.

Are you more shy by nature?

I'm not sure about this.