Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

If I have to say something, actually I don’t have any standard to distinguish between right and wrong in my heart.

Everything is destined in life, just as one is definitely not someone who can easily change the direction of progress, so he is willing to put everything on the line.

The evaluation of this road does not depend on myself, but on others. What happens to me is just the world, the scenery is just the scenery, and I am just myself. There is no special connection between them. After losing the so-called goal, I just follow my own heart.

It should be like this, so I should actually be quite calm!

However, the scenery outside the window gradually changes with the change of seasons.

Every time I noticed it, the itching feeling in my heart became stronger. Because it was a situation I had never heard of before, waves of anxiety would overflow from my body.

I don't know when these scenes started to make my heart beat faster......

To be precise, it is the changes in the scenery that make me feel uneasy.

So throughout the morning class, I gradually slowed down my breathing. From the outside, I might look the same as usual, doing nothing but waiting for time to pass, but in fact, there was a noticeable difference in my senses.

After the last class in the morning, it was lunch time. I was thinking about joining the group to chat about other topics to relieve the confusion in my heart, and then I found that Ichinose, who was sitting at the table in front of me, was staring at me.

Although it wasn't a [death stare] or a questioning look, it still made me want to escape.

It was an invitation, even a request, and the meaning was like "Is it possible today?" or "Is it not possible today~" and similar coquettishness............

I do feel a little nervous.

"What's wrong? If you need my help, just tell me."

"Is that so... No, I don't have anything special I want Luo Jun to help me with. I'm just a little concerned about what Luo Jun plans to do during lunch break?"

Ichinose turned around and sat sideways in her seat. She lifted her long hair from her ears and put it behind them. Even her outline was unexpectedly attractive.

I looked back at the girls. Although it was lunch time, they seemed to have made an appointment and were not in a hurry to leave the classroom. Except for a few girls who left with the boys they were close to, everyone else was still in the classroom.

During this time, Wangcang noticed my gaze, smiled and waved to me.

"......"

I guess I'm waiting for Ichinose to move forward while waiting for the crowded time at the school cafeteria to pass.

In this case, they probably don't want their time to be taken up by Ichinose and I chatting.

I decided to leave............

"I plan to go to the library to kill time later, and then go to the school cafeteria to eat when the time is almost up... If nothing unexpected happens, this should be the development."

I told Ichinose about the plan I had anticipated, and she showed an expression that she accepted it. In addition, my words also reminded her a little.

"Since this is a library, could you lend me a book? If Luo Jun thinks it's too much trouble, then forget it."

"If it's just borrowing a book, it won't be a big deal, and it's something I can do on the way. The book Ichinose wants to borrow... could it be the "Devotion of Suspect X" that I mentioned last time at the library?"

"Great, it seems Luo Jun still remembers it."

When I said the title of the book, Ichinose couldn't help but smile. This feeling would melt even ice and snow.

I really can't describe that [sharp] feeling in words.

No, it doesn't matter even if there is no language.

As long as I can feel it, it doesn't matter whether she is communicating it or not.

With this fatal [error] in mind, I arrived at the area where I have been so far.

"After all, it was me who suggested this action, so it will more or less leave an impression in my mind."

I understand the mechanics of borrowing books.

Borrowing books is free, and the libraries don't care who borrows the books or who hands them over during the borrowing period. The important mechanism is the return of books, and personal points will be deducted when the books are overdue.

If Ichinose fails to finish reading the book before the deadline and forgets to return it, then I will be held responsible. After all, it was borrowed under my name.

"............Since the decision has been made, I will set off now."

This way, Ichinose will probably feel more at ease, and the necessary things can be solved as soon as possible. Just like what I have always done, it is best not to procrastinate.

On the other hand, I wanted to quickly get away from the environment that I was not good at dealing with.

However, just as I was about to stand up, Ichinose placed his hands on mine, slightly blocking my movement. Then he put on a hesitant look, as if he had something to say but couldn't speak frankly right away.

I paused, then turned my palm over and gently held the other person's hand.

Is there something I need to respond to, or is this just a kid's trick?

I looked at Fanbo in confusion.

This move seemed to make her happy.

"Is there anything else?"

"I also want to know something else, such as... did Luo Jun make an appointment with Shiina-san to go to the library?"

Obviously, the class itself was not very willing to communicate freely with students from other classes. Fanbo could have put pressure on me mercilessly, but she didn't.

Is this a thoughtful expression unique to Ichinose?

However, it was not until Ichinose said it out loud that I realized how long it had been since I went to the library to meet Shiina. Without this reminder, I might have almost forgotten about her.

............a little strange.

Even if the library, where we met by chance, is excluded, there are still many public places left in the school, such as the school cafeteria, dormitory lobby, and Keyaki shopping mall... However, during the special exam of [Paper Shuffle], I did not see Shiina again except for the coincidence in the cafe.

Does this mean anything?

I'm not sure.

"Shiina? I haven't tried going to the library during lunch break on a school day, so I don't know if she'll be there. Anyway, we didn't make any agreement... What's wrong with that?"

After hearing what I said, Ichinose secretly breathed a sigh of relief. The current situation made me feel a little torn.

"No, nothing. Luo Jun, don't be too self-absorbed. Remember to eat lunch. The afternoon classes are not as simple as self-study."

"I see."

Thinking about the sharp sound, I left the classroom and headed towards the library.

0

I didn’t expect that the library I just entered for lunch break was actually a private hiding place.

Eating and drinking are prohibited in the library. The smell of drinks and food will affect the reading of others, so this place cannot be used as a place to have lunch. There seem to be only a few users now, so the procedures for borrowing or returning books seem to be quite smooth.

I want to hide myself in a deserted place. For students, it might be a place like this......

Whether you borrow one book or two, the effort required to return them is the same.

Before I go through the borrowing procedures, let me borrow the books I want to read.

I wandered around the library like a stray dog ​​in the wilderness, and I decided to put Akame in the mystery section last. [Paper Shuffle] I had read a series of mystery novels before the special exam, and it should be a good choice for me to change my taste occasionally.

Finally, I got Mr. Yuichi Ishiguro's debut novel "A Pale Shadow of Hills" in the field of fusion and balance of [sentimentality and irony].

The length of the book is not too long, and I think I can finish reading it quickly if I don't delve into the meaning of the text, but this book is the kind that is worth savoring.

I walked to the mystery section holding "Distant Hills and Pale Shadows" in one hand.

I sensed the presence of people all around me, and as soon as I arrived at the mystery novel area, I saw Shiina's figure.

At this moment, she was desperately stretching out her arms, trying to take down a book that was on a bookshelf that was taller than her.

The book is placed in a very clever way, as if it is within reach but out of reach.

I think Shiina must have made a reluctant judgment about the actual situation, so she resisted the low stool placed not far away for students to use.

Of course, such a slight difference, normal people, regardless of gender, would choose to ignore it......

I stepped forward and intervened in her behavior.

"Although I may be meddling............"

Shiina was not surprised by the student who suddenly appeared behind him, because she was such a quiet girl.

"Good afternoon, Luo Jun."

"I didn't expect Shiina to appear in the library during lunch break... Wuthering Heights?"

Shiina didn't mind my unauthorized actions, which made me feel relieved. Then she turned her attention to the book she wanted to take from the bookshelf.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

It was a work by the second daughter of the three Brontë sisters, who also left a great reputation in literary history.

"......"

No, although the book does have a sense of mystery in the outline, if I remember correctly, the actual genre should be classified as a romance, right? Or an emotional interpretation story?

"Could it be that the book was placed in the wrong type, so Shiina wants to put it back in the right place?"

"As expected of Luo Jun, you guessed it right the first time."

"After all, Shiina has read this book some time ago, although it is possible that she likes it too much and wants to read it a second time............"

“I personally don’t like this book, nor do I hate it. I would just read it once in a hurry. But they should also return to their own destination.”

It seems like the owner of this library......

Did he discover the book by accident, or was he carelessly checking to see who owned it?

Neither of the two options is an option that most people can choose.

"What Luo Jun is holding in his hand is............ "Distant Mountains and Pale Shadows"? It seems to be a famous work."

"Does Shiina know about this book?"

I didn't expect that the book I picked up casually could be easily recognized by the other party. Judging from the tone and words she used, she probably hasn't read this book.

When I asked him this, Shiina frowned slightly and thought carefully about the spies, but finally shook his head.

"I don't know it. I've just heard about how great it is. I might read this book later... Can Luo Jun help me find the book "Goodbye, My Love"? It might take me a lot of time if I'm alone."

"That's fine... I think Farewell, My Lovely is a book by Raymond Chandler. Shiina should have read it too. Do you want to revisit it?"

After taking over "Wuthering Heights", Shiina slowly moved his gaze back to the original gap.

"Yes. There seems to be a Raymond Chandler craze among the second graders. The book "Goodbye, My Lovely" seems to be involved in the dispute. I really want to reread it, but I still can't find it............"

"How could such a thing still happen?"

"There will be times like this, I hope everyone is not doing this just to follow the trend............"

Finding a book is not a big deal, and I was going to do it anyway, so I accepted the request. However, as Shiina said, the book "Goodbye, My Love" was indeed involved in the dispute, and when I found "The Devotion of Suspect X" which was shelved at the bottom, I didn't find "Goodbye, My Love".

"Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any trace of that book on the bookshelf."

"I think so... But it doesn't matter. I've read it before, and I'll definitely have the chance to read it again in the future. It's fun to stumble across other books while searching for that one. The library of this school has a large collection of books. If I immerse myself in reading, I'll graduate in no time."

After she finished speaking, she held up Wuthering Heights and smiled gently.

“…Maybe that’s it.”

In any case, the other party's calm and normal attitude is worthy of recognition.

Even if you can't read a specific book, you can spend as much time as you want. Even if it's a boring text that's difficult to read in a professional academic context.

Then, Shiina also asked about my last action with concern.

"I remember Luo Jun read The Devotion of Suspect X not long ago. Didn't he borrow it for someone else?"

"Yes. Ichinose was also very interested in this book before. When he knew I was coming to the library, he asked me to bring it back... Even so, "A Pale Shadow of Hills" is still a book I want to read myself."

"As expected, Raku-kun and Ichinose-san have a good relationship. It's a little strange though......"

"I'm sorry, what did Shiina say at the end?"

I couldn't pretend I didn't hear the quiet mumbling behind me.

"Nothing. Luo Jun, are you going to the counter to check out the books now?"

"That's what I was planning to do. Then I'll read here for a while, and when the time is about right, I'll go to the school cafeteria to eat."

"Then can you let me join Luo Jun's team? I'll wait for you at the desk over there."

"Of course no problem."

Following the direction of Shiina's fingertips, I nodded and accepted Shiina's invitation.

Just at this moment, a familiar figure stepped into the mystery novel area, which caught the attention of Shiina and me.

Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.