Real teaching, hypocritical gray life

I felt like I was in the center of a war, or on the edge of a gun.

"......"

Of course, this is just my unilateral feeling.

Even though I don't have much knowledge of emotions, I know how strong this feeling is, so strong that it caused a drastic change in my heart. I feel like I was a different person until the moment before.

Although it doesn't make sense, I'm not kidding. My feelings for Ichinose almost exposed all my problems, and I don't want such a drastic change to happen to myself. I hope that everything can be under my control and proceed in the direction I planned, just like the archery seven barriers.

If I consider the other person's feelings, I will be like this. How terrible will it be if I don't care about others and lose my own reason...?

I didn't imagine that scene, and to be honest I didn't dare to imagine it.

I was wondering what the sails meant to me, and the past investigations in my mind gradually became clear in my memory. I was not a sensible person, so I would act on my own when dealing with doubts without considering anyone's feelings.

In this way, I feel quite emotional.

When the impure attachment finally disappeared, all the noises that kept echoing in my body also disappeared. I knew that the last nail that bound me was dead. The wound left by the nail was gradually becoming sharper, but I didn't feel the pain.

Like a moth chasing a flame!

Then, Fan Bo began to mutter incomprehensible words.

“Hmm…mmmm…mmmm…”

Ichinose showed some signs of waking up, and then slowly opened her eyes under my cover. She stared at my shirt for a long time, rubbed her flesh, and turned her head to meet my gaze.

"Well, Luo Jun............"

I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but Fanbo seems to be in a half-asleep state.

"Are you awake?" I asked.

"............No."

Ichinose hesitated for a moment, then answered me like this.

I wanted to let her sleep a little longer, at least to the point where I wouldn't have to wake her up by force, but Fanbo supported her body and slowly sat up.

After she tilted her head to look at me, she moved her delicate body into my arms, wrapped her arms around my neck, and then buried her face in the area near my chest and shoulders.

For a moment, I was at a loss. I took a breath, but the air was filled with the scent of Fan Bo's body, and then my whole body froze. I even felt my heart stop beating.

It took me a while to come back to my senses. I hesitantly put my hands on Ichinose's waist and hugged her.

This position has happened between the two of us more than once, and it is often impossible when we are sober, so......

I guess Fanbo was just sleepy.

"Hmm, it's a bit sour."

"............What's a bit sour?"

"My neck is a little sore... help me rub it."

I massaged her neck as she requested, and it seemed to touch her nerves, causing her discomfort and causing Fanbo to climb up a little. She felt comfortable and moaned a little, and her moving lips occasionally touched my neck.

She kept her eyes closed during the process.

Based on this [factual basis], I concluded that the other party was indeed not fully awake.

This ambiguous posture lasted for a long time before Ichinose slowly raised his head, rubbed his eyes, and looked around in confusion.

Seeing this opportunity, I also took my hands away.

Then Fanbo noticed my presence at the first moment.

“Hey, why…?!”

Ichinose slowly widened his eyes and tried to get off me, but he put one hand on my thigh, then pulled it back feeling embarrassed, while the other hand kept touching my chest, moving back and forth without knowing what to do.

Finally, I just gave up struggling.

“............How did it become like this............”

"Didn't Ichinose say that his neck was uncomfortable and wanted me to help massage it?"

"That's what happened, but... did I really say that just now...?"

“That’s right.” I answered Ichinose’s question without giving it much thought.

It is necessary to make the other party understand the current situation.

"I accidentally fell asleep............"

Fanbo mumbled to herself, then tentatively leaned into my arms, and finally changed to a comfortable position. Although I really wanted her to get off me, because Fanbo lowered her head, it was difficult for me to understand her current emotional state.

I was also reluctant to let go without permission.

"What time is it now and how long have I slept?" she asked.

I didn't have a clear idea of ​​the time that had just passed, so I took out my cell phone and took a look.

The beginning of the phone screen clearly showed the status of 01, which made me a little stunned.

"Ling, it's already one in the morning?!"

The angle of the phone was just right for Fanbo to see everything clearly at the same time. Noticing the change in time, she couldn't help but scream out in daze.

"It was only about seven or eight when I came here? Did I sleep for five or six hours at Luojun's place? "

“…It looks like this.”

Although somewhat surprising, this seems to be true.

"What does it look like? Why... didn't Luo Jun call me?"

"Because Ichinose looked like she was sleeping comfortably, I didn't want to disturb her."

"Goo!"

Although I couldn't see her face, Ichinose seemed a little shaken after hearing what I said. But she soon became concerned about my condition.

"Luo Jun responded as soon as I woke up... Does that mean Luo Jun was awake all along?"

"I can't sleep in this situation even if I want to............"

"Then, what are you doing? You're not staring at me......"

"If you want to call it an action, that's what it should be, but I was actually thinking about something else and didn't pay attention to it."

“I see…”

Although Ichinose breathed a sigh of relief, he also felt a little disappointed.

Regardless of whether she could see the other person's posture or not, she was still very charming.

A palpitation passed through my heart.

While I was thinking about this, Ichinose said nothing, and I knew she didn't know what to do at this moment.

"I, I'll get down first. Keeping this posture is also tiring for Luo Jun."

"It's actually not bad............"

Considering my feelings, Ichinose hurriedly pressed down the hem of her skirt, stood up with my help, and sat down close to my body again.

"I'm so sorry to bother you. I didn't expect to trouble you for so long."

"It doesn't matter. Today and tomorrow are weekends, so it's okay if you want to [work overtime]. After all, there's a whole day to relax."

"But I'm still a little embarrassed... But what could make Luo Jun think about it for so long?"

"Nothing. Nothing worth talking about."

"That means you can't tell me. That's the answer again... It's always like this, keeping everything to yourself and not telling anyone. Isn't that tiring?"

"No, I didn't mean that. It's just that... it's hard to say it out loud. After all, some things would be embarrassing to let others know."

"What if I want to hear it anyway?"

"............Is this a necessary requirement?"

"No, I want to force Luo Jun to try."

If I could, I really didn't want to hear her say it directly. However, there was nothing I could do about it now.

"Part of me was thinking about what happened between Ichinose and Sakayanagi-san."

"Why is it like this...?"

"Because I think I saw Ichinose and Sakayanagi-san walking happily together not long ago, so I'm a little concerned......"

"Are you concerned about me?"

"That's not entirely true. After all, the other party is the rumored Sakayanagi, and I'm worried about what he might be planning... Anyway, this is fine."

"Please rest assured about this. Sakayanagi-san just wanted me to help her solve some minor confusions. I have already dealt with them. Because the matter concerns my situation, Luo Jun is not in a position to say it directly?"

"That's more or less the case."

"Then there are others, what else are Luo Jun concerned about?"

"Ah, these are the more important things. The rest are just trivial matters about life problems, which are really not worth worrying about."

"Can you tell me about it, too?"

"......"

This behavior is really unreasonable. Do you really like to force the other party into a desperate situation?

"Are you sure you want me to say it?"

"There shouldn't be any problem............"

I decided to drop a bombshell to help me out.

"Actually, I'm hungry."

"what?"

"I've been wondering when Ichinose will wake up, when I'll have dinner, and so on... Listen, these are just trivial things, right?"

"Yeah, sorry!"

"There's no need to apologize, right? Ichinose didn't have dinner either, so we're even now."

"It's because of me......"

"Please don't say that.......Anyway, now can I go make some food?"

"I, I'll help."

"No, Ichinose should rest for a while. After all, you just woke up."

"Well."

Finally, at this time, I left the sofa and returned to the kitchen I had been away from for a long time. Listening to the crackling sound of the lighter, the pain in my heart, which was like being in the eye of a storm, finally eased. However, this [gravity] did not disappear, and continued to pluck my heartstrings.

I think, even if I can get used to this feeling one day, it will never disappear.

After preparing dinner and leaving the kitchen, I saw Fanbo covering her face shyly. When she noticed I came out, she quickly put on a poker face, but she failed again at the dinner table.

This also makes me have to think about what to do next.

It's already one o'clock in the morning. What will happen between the two of us after dinner?

............

I still can't see the snowflakes.

Chapter 19: Ichinose's [Order]

"Zhao——"

The train door closed in the film's sentimental rhythm, separating the two people with the glass of the window. Neither of the two parties said goodbye, and the surrounding atmosphere deliberately blocked the space for speaking. Although this result was regrettable, it was also a relief.

The train started slowly, and the space between the two people slowly opened up horizontally.

"Rumble--"

The trains running in opposite directions on the double-track railway are speeding away with the feeling of standing in a storm, and the mutual attraction between them continues to linger in the hearts of the two.