What's wrong with me?

She had no way of not missing him, because since the day he met her, she, whose life was blank, finally understood what joy, friendship, and true love were, and they were inseparable forever. A part of her soul was forever left in him.

She couldn't help but think of his face that she had seen countless times in her dreams, and the look in his eyes that was full of trust and dependence when he looked at her. He was like a deadly poison, but covered with the deceptive coat of delicious food. When you tasted the sweetness, you would be like a fly that accidentally fell on a spider web. No matter how you struggled, it was useless. You could only sink little by little, and finally and inevitably fall into the quagmire of the desire to possess him, unable to break free.

She loved him deeply and had loved him for ten years, no matter how he looked at her with childish eyes in the conference hall and asked her in a baby voice "Sister, why are you alone?", or when she met him again in college, he had lost his youthfulness and was like a ripe fruit, emitting an alluring fragrance in the breeze.

When she was able to get close to him again and felt his presence, the fire in her heart, whose soul had long been torn apart by longing, was easily ignited. The desire that had been deposited in her heart until it was almost sticky and solidified became the best fuel. Just a little spark could provide firewood that would never burn away the blazing fire.

She licked her dry lips and found that she might have lost her composure a little.

But there is nothing that can be done about it. Thinking that it won't be long before she sees him again, her body and mind will become increasingly thirsty, like a sponge that has been left out in the scorching sun for days. The emptiness in her soul and the desire for possession will expand infinitely like an abyss, until she can get him, and then that horrible void can be filled.

She put away her greedy gaze, removed the horrifying longing and desire for possession in her eyes, and became pure and gentle.

In front of him, she has always been such a gentle and kind girl, even if that was just an image she deliberately played to win his favor, but as long as he likes her, then the gentle and clingy Su Yueran is the real Su Yueran.

She was about to set off, and she had a lot of things to do next, such as playing a game of cat and mouse with him in this huge city, but it didn't matter, she was willing to accompany him, and willing to enjoy the wonderful feeling of getting closer to him little by little, and holding him in her hands little by little.

However, before she took a step, a somewhat discordant voice suddenly came from behind her.

"Yueran, where are you going? You're not going to look for him now, are you? Although I know you're very capable, it's impossible to find someone aimlessly in a strange city, right?"

Xu Zijin's puzzled voice that sounded both surprised and puzzled came from behind, making the girl raise her thin eyebrows. Although she did not expect everyone to understand her thoughts, it was obvious that her best friend's brain was too slow, which made her wonder to what extent she was lax in her dream to be cut off by such a girl.

Looking at Xu Zijin through the bright sunlight, the girl's expression became a little speechless. She replied: "Why do you think I am looking aimlessly? We only need to look in a few places. Besides, I am just going to check out a spot today."

"Huh? So, Yue Ran, you already have some clues about him?" Xu Zijin blinked, seeming a little confused. Didn't Yue Ran say that she only knew he should live in Nanshan? How come you suddenly have other clues?

"No, there are no clues. I really only know that he is in Nanshan." The girl shook her head. She pursed her lips and opened the map on the tablet. "But even if there are no clues, as long as you use your brain, you can analyze useful information. I remember I told you that his grades are very good, and he is now in the third year of high school. Then we just need to screen all the key high schools in Nanshan City. You see, there are a total of 7. He must be studying in one of these 7 schools."

"I also told you that he is a day student, and he usually lives in his aunt's house. He usually rides a bicycle to school, which takes about 20 minutes, or about 5 to 7 kilometers. So we just need to screen all the communities within 5 to 7 kilometers around these seven schools, remove the elderly apartments, the old communities, and the newly built communities. You see, there are about 14 communities left, so he is very likely to live in one of these 7 communities. According to my own understanding, if we remove some more, these communities are the most likely places for him to live. What I plan to check out today are the first two of these seven communities. After all, seven communities are not a small number, and each community has its own apartment buildings. But at least it will be much easier to find a target, right?"

The girl tapped a few times on her tablet and displayed the content on the screen in front of Xu Zijin. The content on the screen was very brief. On the detailed map, several red circles were neatly drawn to mark the neighborhoods they were going to today. Next to the red circles, there were even detailed markings of how many apartment buildings there were in those neighborhoods, as well as the number of residents and the girl's own possible locations. Today, they were going to the two neighborhoods with the highest probability.

Looking at the picture on the screen and the calm expression and gaze of the girl in front of him, Xu Zijin suddenly felt a little frightened.

If Yue Ran in the past gave her the feeling of an ultimate academic master whom she would never be able to catch up with in her lifetime, then Yue Ran now gave her the feeling of a wise and cunning strategist in fantasy novels.

She is too perfect, and there seems to be nothing she can't do. People who are under pressure seem to be unable to raise their heads in front of her and can only listen to her obediently.

“Yueran…” She hesitated, as if she didn’t know whether she should say it or not. But looking at her best friend’s bright and beautiful face, she took a deep breath, mustered up her courage, and said, “Yueran… Do you know that you are a little scary now… You are too smart, and it seems that there is nothing you can’t do. I don’t dare to get close to you…”

Chapter 111 Incomplete

Xu Zijin's words reached the girl's ears and turned into a gust of cold autumn wind on the platform. The girl was clearly still smiling, and the smile on her lips was so lively and bright, but the light in the depths of her eyes became stiff and cold.

This was not the first time she had heard these words. At the end of that dream, when she was watching Xu Zijin, who was much more mature and beautiful than she is now, lying in a pool of blood and dying bit by bit, before she died, she also said similar words to her with a look of pity and regret.

She said she was too perfect, and no matter what happened, no matter how big the trouble was, she could handle it perfectly by herself. But she didn't know how much pressure her perfection would bring to the people around her, especially the person she was closest to and loved the most. It was in this way that she pushed him away from her little by little, which gave her the opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

The girl narrowed her narrow eyes, with a sweet smile on her face, and her eyes contained an indescribable coldness. However, she suddenly paused, and the mist of the night quietly rolled and disappeared bit by bit. With her eyes curved, she whispered, "Of course I know that it is difficult for people to approach me now. Not to mention you, maybe even he would be scared by me like this."

The sharpness in her eyes only flashed by for a moment, and that instant feeling made Xu Zijin think that she had just had a slight illusion. When she looked into the girl's eyes again, she only saw the blooming smile in the girl's eyes, without a trace of gloom.

"I know I put too much pressure on others, but this is only in front of other people besides him."

She laughed, and her bright smile made the people around her who had not yet completely left the platform look at her. She knew that her true self would bring a lot of pressure to the people around her, otherwise she would not have always disguised herself as a high school girl who was just a little smart.

She was too dazzling, and she knew it very well. She had understood all this since she was five years old and easily solved test questions that even high school students with excellent grades had to work hard to solve.

She is a genius, not only in her logical thinking beyond ordinary people, but also in her insight into other people's hearts. As she grows older, her talent becomes more and more sharp, and more and more people call her a genius. However, as she grows up, her abilities become more and more outstanding, and everything seems to become a trivial matter in front of her. However, she finds that the people around her, whether they are classmates, teachers, or even her so-called parents, are gradually becoming alienated from her, and even gradually becoming afraid of her.

No one would like someone who can handle everything easily and even see through one's heart at a glance, just like Su Yueran also dislikes those guys who can't keep up with her thinking, can't understand her, but ridiculously and self-righteously think they are right. She knows why that group of people alienate her and why they are afraid of her, so she learned to disguise, pretending to be as vulgar as them, and the funny thing is that they actually think they are the same as themselves.

There was a gleam in the girl's eyes. She knew that the real her was unapproachable, so when in front of him she always tried to restrain herself, just like she was in her dreams, when she made lunch for him for the first time after she met him again and fell in love with him.

She still remembered that it was a sunny noon in her freshman year. She had been dating him for a month and felt that they were ready to take the next step, so she took him to her off-campus residence and wanted to make him a lunch she prepared herself to show him her "gentleness" and "virtue" as a girlfriend.

The dish she chose for lunch that day was fried tofu, a very simple dish, especially for a talented person like her who had always been honing her cooking skills.

But that day, she did not make it as quickly and skillfully as usual, which was contrary to her usual behavior. Instead, she pretended to be a young lady who had just started learning how to cook and whose fingers were not greasy at all.

She pretended that it was her first time to cook this dish, so she followed every step of the recipe carefully and strictly, and even deliberately made her movements unfamiliar and rough. Naturally, the fried tofu she made that day didn't taste very good, it was just edible.

But even though the taste was not very good, she still received his praise as expected. He smiled and told her that she had done a great job and as long as she worked hard next time, she would be able to make more delicious fried tofu.

She could see that the reason for his happiness was not because of the fried tofu which was just barely edible, but because he seemed to have discovered her shortcomings and found that he was not able to do everything as rumored. She, like him, had things that she could not do or was not good at.

And she also smiled. The reason for her happiness was not because of the failed pot of fried tofu, nor because of his praise, but because she successfully established an image in his mind, that is, although she was very smart and had always been a genius in the eyes of others, this genius was not perfect. She also had things she could not do, she also had her own weaknesses, and she had to rely on others.

A perfect genius is not needed in love, just like her later. She was always complacent about the imperfect image she left on him. But perhaps because she felt she had won the game, she neglected it and did not maintain this "imperfection" until the end.

She could understand why Xu Zijin spoke to her with such compassion before he died, because when she felt that she had won the battle and that she would finally be the only winner in this massacre among her own kind, she could no longer control the desire to have him all to herself.

Because she wanted to monopolize him, she did a lot of things, such as keeping him by her side all the time to prevent him from going out, and taking care of many affairs and trivial matters for him in advance, or becoming a senior executive of the company and earning much higher "salary" than him so that he could stay at home and eat her "free rice" with peace of mind.

However, perhaps because she was immersed in the happiness and joy of being able to enjoy him alone, her senses became dull, her claws were worn down bit by bit, and she ignored his feelings...

Chapter 112 Cocoon Room

Excellent people can always occupy a dominant and advantageous position in love, but when this excellence becomes perfection, this advantage turns into a disadvantage, especially for women.

It's like pottery. Brand new and flawless pottery can often only become cheap handicrafts, while only pottery that has gone through years and has various imperfections can become works of art worthy of collection.

When a person is so capable that he can easily solve all problems by himself, this is certainly an advantage, but it is not necessarily a good thing for his lover.

A love that can last for a long time depends on the dedication and support of both parties. However, when one of them is so outstanding that he or she can satisfy everything by himself or herself, for the other person, as long as he or she has a normal mindset and does not want to rely entirely on the other person, he or she will feel insecure over time.

This kind of feeling is easy to understand, because the other person's excellence makes him completely dispensable. He cannot contribute to the relationship between the two and can only passively accept the other person's kindness. This means that he is not needed and is not necessary. When there is a problem in the relationship between the two, he is likely to be abandoned if he cannot bring benefits to the other person or make up for the other person's shortcomings.

The girl tightly grasped her cell phone, her dark pupils were as pure as thick ink. She understood this because in her dreams, she had pushed him away from her little by little. She was too strong and too perfect, and could arrange everything for him in advance, but she didn't expect how much pressure this perfection would bring to him.

Reality is not like the hero and heroine in the novel, who always overcome countless difficulties and come together in the end. And normal people will not confidently think that they are the protagonists in the novel.

She understood him, even better than she understood herself. Although he was loyal to love and would do his best for her relationship with her, he was not like herself, who regarded her love for him as more important than anything else and would give up everything to be with him. He still had some realistic views, or rather, he did not believe that his existence was unique and irreplaceable to her. After all, in reality, so many deep loves and vows could be broken in the end just because of a little conflict.

The pressure she brought to him would naturally turn into a sense of uneasiness that tormented him, which was why at the end of the dream, he had already made up his mind that he was not worthy of her and that he was a burden to her, which also gave Xu Zijin the opportunity to cut off the source of her trouble.

The girl's nails dug deeply into the skin of her palms. Thinking of this, she felt a cramping pain in her chest. She hated herself for being blinded by the joy and desire of having him all to herself. But compared to hating herself, she felt more sorry for him. Now she understood that because of her mistake, he had been troubled by a sense of uneasiness when he was with her. That feeling was not pleasant because she had experienced it herself, especially when she had just met his aunt.

She had always been confident in her appearance and figure, but this confidence disappeared on that afternoon in her second year of high school when she met his aunt in their little nest. In terms of appearance, his aunt was not worse than her, but the gentle and pleasant temperament she pretended to have was naturally not as gentle as his aunt's temperament that seemed as gentle as water. What's more, she and she were of the same kind, both predators who would give everything for him.

During that time, she was almost tortured to the point of being unable to sleep peacefully alone. Only by hugging him tightly and curling up in his arms could she feel a little bit of security. She was a genius, but in front of him, she was just a girl who needed his love, but he couldn't do that. He could only bear it silently. When she thought of how he gave up on himself and cried about how much of a failure he was and how he had dragged her down before she committed suicide with him, she felt as if her heart was being cut by a knife.

He was a very good boy, and there was never any saying that he was not worthy of her, because his "failure" and "cowardice" were almost all caused by her, just to satisfy her endless desire to grab him and possess him alone.

She still remembered that when she became the head of the company where he worked, she wanted to use her power to have his company fire him. However, her plan had just begun when she encountered a setback. The reason was that the management and even the employees in the company did not agree to let him leave, especially those colleagues in the same department as him.

They said he was an important member of the company and that he had made great contributions to the company. Most importantly, they liked this good-looking, optimistic, though somewhat shy and introverted junior. Especially the girls in his department, they actually paid attention to her unique treasure. This made her intolerable, but also strengthened her belief in monopolizing him and making him the only one in his broken world.

She did not implement her plan immediately, but instead cleared out those who disagreed with his leaving little by little, replacing them with people she felt she could trust, until finally, no one resisted her decision, and she successfully got him to resign from the company.

Although he didn't know what was happening behind all this, and she would never let him know, this incident reminded her that he was not a prey that she could manipulate at will. He would resist, especially this time. If she had acted a little later, then all her efforts would have been in vain. He would have escaped from the big net she had woven for him, like a fish jumping into a river, leaving her with no way out...

Even though he had been living in the information cocoon she had woven for him, he had never given up struggling. He had almost escaped from her grasp several times, forcing her to spend more energy to rearrange things, and this was enough to prove his excellence.

Therefore, there has never been any saying that he is not worthy of her. He may not be able to compare with her in some aspects, but he is still a very good person, and she herself must reflect on this. She still wants to monopolize him like before, and still wants him to have only her in his world, just like he will always be the only one in her small world. But this time, she will not make the same mistake again. She will take good care of his thoughts, tie him firmly to her side, and make him unable to leave her anymore.

Chapter 113 Intertwined

The girl stood silently on the platform, her moist eyes dotted with tiny bloodshot. Because of Xu Zijin's words, she remembered a lot of past events, every detail of her time with him, and the unspeakable bad things she had done to him behind his back.

She is a good girl and a good wife. In the high-end residential area where she and he live, almost all the residents praise her in this way. In the eyes of others, she always goes home on time after get off work. Even if she has been tired after a day in the company, she will still diligently handle the housework and cook a rich and delicious dinner for him.

She would never complain about her partner's failures and mistakes like other girls did. Instead, she was willing to tolerate everything about him, as if everything she did was for his own good. Even after he lost his job and the family's income depended entirely on her, she never took control of the financial power alone like other girls did. Instead, she gave him full freedom and sufficient funds to let him do what he wanted.

They all thought so, and thought that he was so lucky to find a girl like her, but they didn't know that behind all this she actually had evil intentions.

She loved him deeply, so naturally she enjoyed the kind of life where she could take care of everything about him and control everything about him. She liked to meet his needs, even those requests that were unreasonable and should not be accepted in the eyes of others. As long as they did not exceed her tolerance limit and involved her love for him, she would try her best to satisfy him.

This is a kind of indulgence, a kind of doting, but others don't know that the reason why she indulges him and dotes on him is just because she wants to turn him into a useless person who is despised by everyone, a useless person who can only ask for but not give.

No one would like a person who only takes but doesn't give, but she is different. As long as it is him, no matter what he becomes, it will not affect her love for him. When he is hated by everyone, that is when she can monopolize him.

But her plan failed. No matter how much she indulged and doted on him, she still couldn't make him become what she imagined.

She also remembered the rumors she had spread, and the night when he decadently hugged her waist and sadly confided to her everything he had experienced.

He said that he seemed to be excluded by others. Whether outside or in the community, he seemed very unpopular. Others would always leave in a hurry with disgust in their eyes when they saw him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to improve the situation. He always failed to get recognition from others. He couldn't understand it.

She hugged his head softly, letting him lean comfortably on the soft spot of her chest, then gently stroked his hair, and whispered in his ear with a sweet voice, "Even if everyone leaves him, she will always be by his side."

But he didn't know that all of this was her doing. It was she who had people spread rumors about him in the community, saying those "bad things" that didn't exist at all and that he had never done. It was also she who had people in his company ostracize him and make things difficult for him everywhere, just because, when he lost everything, he would rely on herself more and would never be able to leave her.

She also remembered the companies she recommended to him when he was looking for a job and submitted his resume. Those companies were carefully selected by her because they were poorly managed or had various other problems, which made it easier for her to intervene in the future and continue to control everything about him without him noticing...

"I really want to see you, but I have to wait for a while, wait for a while. When I see you, I will tell you how much I miss you. I will tie you tightly to my side and never let you leave. Ahem..."

The black and smooth hair fluttered in the cool autumn breeze, and the dark eyes were like the purest obsidian in the world, shining brightly in the afternoon sun.

The girl remembered a lot, and her tone suddenly became very light, like a colorful butterfly dancing in the night sky, or like a lingering whisper in her lover's ear. She imagined the scene after meeting him, and her graceful cheeks were gradually filled with a blush of joy and impatience.

But she suddenly covered her mouth and began to cough violently. Her rapid breathing mixed with the desire that seemed to be never satisfied made her already flushed cheeks even more flushed.

The girl frowned deeply, and the strings of her rationality that were almost torn apart by crazy desire were connected again. She took a deep breath of fresh air, and tried hard to suppress the desire and madness hidden deep in her bones.

In order to find him as soon as possible, she has indeed overdrawn her body recently. She has not had a good sleep for several days and nights. Just because she thinks that she will be able to see him soon, the longing and desire like a leech in her bones will be like a deadly poison, corroding her thinking and reason bit by bit.

After returning from the inspection, she needs to have a good rest. After all, finding him does not mean she can make him her only one. She also needs to fight wits and courage with many hunters who covet her treasure, including his aunt, and this requires her to have a good body.

"Let's go, Zijin. After we finish checking out the spots, I'll take you out for a nice meal as a reward for you."

The girl turned her head and smiled tenderly at Xu Zijin behind her. As for a tool that still had value to her, she would not be stingy in giving her some benefits until her value was completely squeezed out or she dared to betray her.

She put away her cell phone and prepared to leave the platform with Xu Zijin, who was still a little unnatural. On the opposite side came another wave of travelers who had just checked their tickets and were ready to board the train. She suppressed the endless darkness under the sea and walked through the crowd, but suddenly, her hands and feet seemed to be frozen and unable to move, like a wave that exploded in an instant. She suddenly turned around and looked at the large crowd not far away.

"Aunt, let me help you carry these things. I packed a lot of things, so they should be quite heavy."

"It's okay, just leave it to auntie. Xiaoxia, you already have a suitcase. I can still carry this little weight."

Crazy emotions kept filling up and overflowing from the bottom of her heart, and sticky saliva kept secreting from between her teeth. She left Xu Zijin, who was surprised and puzzled, and forcefully pushed away the astonished pedestrians around her, and ran desperately in the direction where the sound came from. However, she was still half a beat slow, and the door of the high-speed train had already closed.

The girl stood on the platform and watched the train go away little by little. She had no expression on her face. She looked at the words "Nanshan→Annan" on the big screen. Like a vicious lone wolf, she slightly curled her lips...

Chapter 114 Preparation

On the platform where people were crisscrossing, Qi Xia, who was pulling his suitcase and preparing to board the train with his aunt, suddenly paused. He turned around, looked at the platform behind him where there were many passengers, and frowned.

Sometimes people always have a strange feeling, just like he just now, he seemed to hear someone calling his name, and that voice was very familiar, so familiar that he would never forget it, because it seemed to be Yue Ran's voice.

Qi Xia stopped and listened carefully. He found that what he just heard seemed to be just an hallucination. After all, Yue Ran didn't recognize him yet, so how could she appear in Nanshan, thousands of miles away? He breathed a sigh of relief until his aunt beside him called him.

"What's up, Xia? Did you forget something?"

"No, auntie, I just seemed to hear someone calling me, but maybe I just heard it wrong."

Qi Xia didn't think any more about it. He looked at his aunt in front of him. His aunt turned around and looked at him puzzledly. Today, his aunt was wearing a beautiful light-colored long skirt. Her fingers were pressing the hem of the skirt, and she was looking at him with her bright eyes. That beautiful smile in the bright sunshine made Qi Xia's heart beat wildly, and he quickly caught up with his aunt.

Qi Xia was very lucky. He bought his ticket the night before yesterday. As it was close to National Day, he thought that even if he had a seat, he would not be able to sit together. But who would have thought that he not only bought a pair of tickets next to each other, but the inner one was next to the window.

He and his aunt boarded the high-speed train and found their seats. He originally wanted his aunt to sit in the window seat, but his aunt smiled and gave the window seat to Qi Xia.

Qi Xia did not refuse any more, because when he and his aunt rode in the car together in the past, his aunt would always give the window seat to Qi Xia, because Qi Xia liked to sit by the window when he was a child, and his aunt always remembered this.

The train stopped at the station for a short while, then began to accelerate slowly. Watching the familiar scenery in front of him moving away bit by bit, Qi Xia's mood was no longer the same as before.

He still stays by his aunt's side and can still see his aunt's smile that always dotes on him and tolerates him. But that heartbroken face will only exist in Qi Xia's memory forever. In the future that has not yet happened, he will definitely protect his aunt.

"Aunt, when we get to Annan, I'll take you to the hot springs. I heard about a very good hot spring bathhouse. The hot springs there are very comfortable to soak in, and they are said to have many benefits for the body."

"Well, okay, Auntie will listen to Xiaoxia."

My aunt smiled slightly. Perhaps because she was going out with Qi Xia, she put on a little light makeup today. Although it was light makeup, you could tell that she put a lot of effort into it. The makeup was just right, highlighting the watery tenderness in her eyebrows, the delicateness of her nose, the rosy pink lips, and the exquisiteness and beauty of her gardenia-like cheeks.

She is not like those ordinary women. Even if she puts on makeup beautifully, people only feel that her makeup is well-applied, and the beauty of her skin and face is completely stolen by the makeup. But on my aunt, all this makeup can only be an embellishment to highlight her beauty.

"Xiao Xia, are you thirsty? You haven't had much water since you got up this morning. I brought a bottle of peach blossom tea. Have some to moisten your mouth."

"Okay." Qi Xia took the thermos cup handed over by his aunt and took a sip. The refreshing and sweet taste spread between his teeth. While chatting with his aunt, Qi Xia took out his mobile phone from his pocket and started watching videos to divert his attention.

He was a little afraid to look into his aunt's eyes, not only because of the feelings in his heart that had long since deteriorated and were entangled with him all the time, but also because Qi Xia always felt that from the time he got up in the morning until now, there was something strange in the way his aunt looked at him.

The strangeness did not mean that his aunt had any dissatisfaction with him. His aunt still looked at him with tenderness and tolerance. It was just that when Qi Xia looked into his aunt's eyes, he did not know if it was an illusion, but he always felt that the look in his aunt's eyes seemed to be dripping with water, and there seemed to be a charm full of spring in them, so alluring and so exciting.

Qi Xia was a little annoyed, but helpless. He could only be led by this deteriorating emotion. He believed that the look his aunt gave him was still as pure and elegant as before, but it was only because of his excessive thoughts that he had such an illusion.

The speed of the high-speed rail gradually increased, and the speed of the bullet train made everything outside the window pass by at a high speed.

Qi Xia browsed his phone for a while, then secretly chatted with Qingmei, who sent him messages and reported to him in real time what she was doing. Qi Xia finally calmed down.

When Qi Xia was watching an interesting video on his phone, he heard a voice beside him, "Xiao Xia, eat some fruit, ah~"