They are in the music show, but I am a stranger to them

People are in the music show, but I am a stranger to them Author: Xu Ziqian

Summary:

Chen Qi, who came to the Japanese anime music series, thought that he would be the protagonist and that he could change all the established tragedies, so by chance, he became the lyricist and composer of Crychic.

But in the end, even though he tried his best and thought he had done everything he could, he still couldn't prevent the band from disbanding. In fact, because of his participation and "efforts", everything became more and more serious, and even many contradictions and conflicts appeared that were not in the original work.

From the day the band disbanded, Chen Qi suddenly realized that he might not be that special in their hearts. His forceful intervention might only bring more misfortunes and even destroy the girls' original lives and interpersonal relationships.

Perhaps I shouldn't have any contact with them. I should just be a stranger to them.

Ah, but...if I were given another chance, I would really like to tell you that I also want to be free of desires and burdens and get along with you all sincerely again.

Xiangzi: "In that case, then come back soon! Didn't you say you wanted to form a professional band? I'm here to pick you up with my professional band!"

Hong Xia: "Aqi, can you agree to one of my requests? Form a lifelong band with us!"

Chapter 1: Quit? Disband! The band is like strangers

"...Okay, Xiangzi, since you've said so, I won't force you. Just quit now."

"What--"

Outside the house, the violent typhoon made every drop of rain feel like a needle prick, mercilessly hitting every helpless pedestrian who had no rain gear and could only face the storm. The depressing clouds and humid air were not as heavy as the hearts of everyone in the house at this moment.

Whether it was the blue-haired girl named "Xiangzi" who took the initiative to ask this heavy question, whose cheeks were as delicate as a finely carved gem, or the other four girls in the room who had different expressions but also had their own unique looks and personalities, without exception, they cast shocked gazes at the boy who had his back to everyone and silently looked at the wind and rain outside the window from beginning to end.

The deathly silence lasted for just a few seconds. The five girls gradually understood each other's words, and the expressions in their eyes became different.

Some were puzzled, some were bewildered, some showed an expression of approval after a slight surprise, and some, after hearing the boy's answer, their originally pretty faces began to become a little ferocious, they gritted their teeth slightly, and their slender hands holding the drumsticks seemed to have a little more strength.

Among the group, the one who was most upset by the boy's calm and even nonchalant answer was Toyokawa Shoko, who took the initiative to propose that she wanted to quit the band.

Xiangzi knew very well that it was she who proposed to form this band in the beginning, especially the boy in front of him, whom she had persuaded to join against all odds and with great effort.

Because the band was already full, and he had no special talents in playing instruments or singing, and for a female band like theirs, having an additional male member would indeed be inconvenient. But Xiangzi, who realized his talent from the beginning, knew very well that he was the most important soul of the band.

Because he is the "behind-the-scenes hero" who is fully responsible for writing lyrics and composing music for their band.

A band has to perform on stage eventually, but as a "hero behind the scenes", he cannot go on stage as glamorously as them. Instead, he has to do the most important and in a sense the most difficult job for the band, but he does not get the attention of the public. Xiangzi, who wanted to recruit him into the team, is very clear about this loneliness and unbalanced treatment. This may be a very difficult conversation.

But in the end, his admission into the team is easier than anyone expected, and his only requirement for admission allows Xiangzi and everyone to have a clearer understanding of this new member.

“I hope everyone can work with me to make Crychic a professional band. Each of us can rely on this path and get on the right track.”

"I will do my best for this goal. If you believe that I can do it, I hope you can treat this band with the same seriousness as I do - we have never been doing this in a small way."

...From the moment he joined the band, showed his talent, and gradually replaced himself and Deng to become the real leader of the band, he knew very well that he valued everything about the band more than anything else.

And now, the first public Live has just been a success. Everyone has been training so hard and trying so hard to keep up with each other's progress, just to fulfill the promise of recruiting him into the team.

But now, because of my own reasons, I have to say the words of betrayal with my own mouth, those words... that go against the promise I made to him.

Before coming here, Xiangzi had rehearsed countless times in his mind, how should he announce his withdrawal from the band? And after she left, in order to prevent his hard work from going to waste, should he find someone to replace him and join the band?

Xiangzi even speculated that the moment he announced his withdrawal, this band-maker, who attached so much importance to it, would behave brutally towards him.

Would he scold her? Or even hit her? Although this was not his style, but... maybe this would make her feel better.

In the past, she never understood why he was so eager to make the band professional. She even argued with him more than once, and even had quarrels with him. She recognized his talent, but she never understood why he was so anxious. But now, she...

...But I never thought that you would be so indifferent.

Xiangzi, whose whole body was soaked by the rain, stared blankly at the boy in front of him, who had his back to him and spoke in a calm and somewhat nonchalant tone. The hand that was holding his shoulder couldn't help but use a little more strength, and the light-colored nails were slightly embedded in the flesh, but he didn't notice it at all.

The myriad of apologies that were boiling in her heart were completely disrupted by the boy's indifferent reaction. Xiangzi, who had originally thought of countless backup plans, felt mixed emotions for a moment, and felt a strong sense of grievance surging in her heart.

I thought you were the one who cared about the band the most...why was your reaction so cold?

Or is this all just my wishful thinking, and in your eyes, I am not that important?

Finally, in the dead silence, the drummer girl seemed to be unable to hold back her emotions. She suddenly cast a sharp gaze at the boy and Xiangzi, and immediately questioned word by word:

"Wait, stop talking to yourself like that! What about our opinions? This band is made up of six of us! It's not up to you alone to decide—"

"Wait, Lixi."

But just before the drummer named "Shiina Riki" was about to explode, suddenly, a hand stopped her from getting up. Beside her, the bassist of the band, a girl named "Nagasaki Suyo" with long chestnut hair and a soft and gentle look between her eyebrows, also forced a smile and walked towards the boy with his back to everyone, lowering his head and cautiously, and said:

"Anyway, let's all calm down for a while."

"Xiangzi, and Aqi, although I don't know what happened between you...but let's not get angry now, let's calm down and talk about everything first, okay?"

"If we have any problems, we can talk it out, right? We don't have to make it to the point where we have to quit the team, right?"

"——It's not Chen Qi's problem, it's my own business."

However, facing Su Shi's difficult attempt to smooth things over, Xiangzi, who did not know whether it was the words of the young man named "Chen Qi" in his heart that made him unwilling to be seen through his vulnerable side, thus arousing his inner psychological defense of pretending to be strong. He stubbornly avoided Su Shi's gaze, suppressed his emotions, and replied coldly:

"Anyway, I can no longer continue to form a band with you all. I have more important things to do. I hope you can understand me."

"After I leave, you can find other people to join the band... Anyway, as long as Chen Qi is here, the band will definitely be able to survive. Even without me, you can still practice, right?"

Yes, this is one of the main reasons why I decided to leave. I know that as someone who brought everyone together to form this band, leaving now will definitely bring about earth-shaking changes to the band, but I believe that as long as Chen Qi, the core of the team, is there, the band will not disband.

The members of the band can be replaced, as long as there is one person who can still lead everyone forward behind the scenes, who can take on the soul of the team's backbone of songwriting and composing music, and cooperate with the ability of the lead singer "Deng"... No matter how the other members change, as long as Chen Qi and Deng are there, the band will not break up.

"That's not the case!"

However, after hearing what Xiangzi said, Nagasaki Motoyo reacted particularly strongly. Perhaps she heard Xiangzi's determination to leave the band, and felt that this band that carried so many beautiful memories of her was about to fall apart. Her originally gentle tone began to become a little anxious.

"The band can't be separated from Aqi, nor from Xiangzi. We can't be separated from each other - everyone must think so, right?!"

Su Shi tightly grasped Xiangzi's cold hand, and in a hurry, she looked around blankly for someone who could help her. She subconsciously focused her eyes on the core of the team, Chen Qi, who had his back to everyone, and asked for help with a forced smile:

"Aqi, you must think so too, right?"

"..."

However, what responded to Su Shi was the silent silence of Chen Qi with his back to everyone. Under the gaze of Xiangzi and Su Shi, which changed from slight expectation in the beginning to despair slowly, he finally did not say a word to keep Xiangzi.

Why are you still so indifferent? Don't you value everything about this band the most? Don't you hope to bring everyone to a bigger stage? Aren't we a whole?

Is it really like that? For you, Qi, as long as they can realize your dream, anyone can do it?

For a moment, whether it was Su Shi who was almost in despair, or Xiangzi who turned his head away silently, or Li Xi who looked increasingly unhappy... In their eyes, Chen Qi, who always had the strongest desire in the band and urged everyone to move forward from beginning to end, has now become a strange existence to them.

"pray……"

The only person who was at the side was the lead singer, a girl with short light grey hair named "Takamatsu Deng", who seemed extremely at a loss in the face of such a heavy atmosphere. Although she said nothing, she kept staring at Chen Qi's back with the expectant eyes of a little animal.

Deng... Although she didn't understand what Chen Qi meant, the only thing she was willing to believe was that the other party was definitely not the kind of person who was full of utilitarianism and would be indifferent to the departure of a companion who had been with him for so long.

He, like Xiangzi, had something to hide. Gao Songdeng couldn't tell where this feeling came from, but he didn't know how to express his guess. He could only look at Chen Qi with such a pitiful look, not knowing what to do.

The only person who could truly understand Chen Qi's feelings was the only girl who had long light green hair and a quiet temperament, who was as cute as a doll. Ruoye Mu, who played the guitar for the band, was not very close to Chen Qi, but she was the only person in the band who could see Chen Qi's profile. She saw Chen Qi's struggling expression clearly.

He was not really heartless and indifferent to Xiangzi's departure. Mu was very sure of this, but when she looked at Chen Qi, he wanted to speak several times, but silently swallowed his words again. He seemed to have something to hide, which made Mu feel uneasy.

Why...you obviously don't want to separate, but you are unwilling to say what is in your heart?

Mu was the only person who knew why Xiangzi had to leave. But, precisely because she knew, she understood why Xiangzi didn't tell anyone about it... This was her own business, and because she cherished everyone in the band, she hoped that everyone would not get involved in her family affairs.

Xiangzi also didn't want to receive sympathy or even charity from her companions after she told the truth. She had her own pride and dignity, and she didn't want her principles to be violated by her best friends, thus changing their friendship.

Mu knew all this, so she kept silent from beginning to end. However, Mu did not understand why Chen Qi did the same thing as her, and even did what she should have done to exonerate Xiangzi...

Unless... he already knew it?

Thinking of this, Mu's eyes, which were originally as silent as a dead water, suddenly stirred up a wave. Mu's mind quickly echoed the urgency of Chen Qi to transform the band into a professional band since he joined the band, and the disputes that had occurred in the past, in order to speed up the progress, he did not hesitate to break out with everyone in the band...

Everything was quietly connected into one line in Mu's mind...but this also made Mu, who was in shock, lose the opportunity to defend Chen Qi.

And just as Mu thought, Chen Qi, who was now so silent that he seemed a bit cruel, had strong emotions churning in his heart that were not visible on the surface. But after he suppressed all impulses, he chose to do the most rational thing.

Sure enough, this day finally came... It turned out that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change the fate of this band, which was destined to disband.

How could I not know? From the day Deng introduced me to the band, and from the day Xiangzi recruited me into Crychic... I knew the ending of this band. But... when I saw the blue-haired girl reaching out her hand to me, and those girls all looked at me with such expectant smiles... I still held her hand.

I want to give it a try. I don’t believe that nothing will change.

I want to change the destiny of this band, and I want everyone to keep smiling. I also wanted Deng to get out of his loneliness, Xiangzi to stop losing everything, Su Shi to stop desperately seeking for warmth, Li Xi to find his true self, and Mu to stop being misunderstood by anyone... I have tried my best for such a goal...

But now...I seem to have failed.

But in the end, Chen Qi silently swallowed all the words that only he understood. He knew... everything he had been anxious about was destined not to be understood by everyone in the band. And now, facing this inevitable ending, the only thing he could do for the band... was to end it himself.

He didn't want these girls to do anything against their will because of this band.

"Xiangzi, I won't force you to stay... If you want to leave the team, you must have your own reasons."

"And now, since you don't want to tell us the reason, then I have no choice but to agree that you can quit the band."

Chen Qi, who was suppressing the impulse in his heart and knew that he had no ability to change Xiangzi's will, let alone help her solve the problem, turned around silently at this moment. His deep dark eyes, in which no expression could be seen, revealed an expression of thoughtfulness that was familiar to everyone in the band, but inappropriate.

"You are free, Xiangzi. Don't worry about anything. Go and do whatever you want. Just remember that we are all still your friends."

"boom!"

Just as Chen Qi's words fell, suddenly, a piercing sound as if a cymbal was hit by a huge force resounded in the room without warning, and everyone's eyes subconsciously turned to the only drummer who could make the noise - Shiina Tatsuki.

"I said! You two - stop talking to yourselves like that!"

"Crychic, this isn't just a band for the two of you! You guys can just come and go as you please! That's so irresponsible!!"

Li Xi, who had been unable to hold back her emotions for a long time, finally burst out completely amidst the words of Chen Qi and Xiangzi, who almost ignored the wishes of everyone else! She hit the cymbals hard, and even the drumstick in her hand could not bear the weight, breaking into two pieces when it fell to the ground. Li Xi, who finally attracted everyone's attention, finally said the words that had been accumulated in her heart for a long time!

"I... We are seriously trying to form a band! You clearly vowed at the beginning that you would make us all a professional band! Now that things have finally started to get going, you guys are going to do this?!"

Shiina Riki suddenly stood up, but lowered her head and shouted out her inner grievances word by word at an unprecedented volume. She clenched her fists and pressed them tightly against the drumhead of the drum set in front of her. Her long black hair fell like a waterfall, covering her entire expression.

"What do you think of me... our efforts?!"

"Li Xi, stop talking..." Su Shi also felt that the situation was getting out of control. The strong sense of crisis made her want to stop Li Xi, but she never expected that Li Xi would forcefully hit the drum again, raised his head and glared at Su Shi and said:

"Why can't I say it?! I want to say it! This band doesn't belong to just the two of them! We are all working hard!"

After saying that, Li Xi suddenly turned his gaze to the indifferent Chen Qi beside him. Seeing the man's indifferent expression, Li Xi felt a nameless fire burning in his heart. He immediately said to Chen Qi with a gnashing expression:

"I know, I know you're a genius! But that's no reason for you to ignore our efforts!"

"Me, and Deng - we are all working hard for your dream! We don't owe you anything! Now Xiangzi wants to quit the team, but you don't even have a word to ask him to stay? Do you really not care?!"

Li Xi looked straight into Chen Qi's deep eyes, but still could not see the slightest wavering in Chen Qi's pupils... He was still so calm, as if he would remain calm even if Mount Tai collapsed in front of him. His calmness and composure made Li Xi feel even more sad in his heart.

Why don't you refute a word? Is that really the case? Do you really look down on us?

Li Xi couldn't understand Chen Qi's expression, and didn't understand that behind Chen Qi's silent expression, she had already prepared herself mentally to bear everything. Facing Chen Qi who ignored her words, under strong stimulation, she finally said the words she shouldn't have said at this moment.

"Ah, ah... I see! You are that kind of person, right? The kind of person who doesn't care about anything else as long as he can achieve his goal!"

"If that's what you think, if you treat this band as a game for yourself - then this band! Just disband it!"

“——That’s enough.”

However, just as Li Xi finished speaking, a voice, which was not loud but enough to attract everyone's attention, broke the heavy atmosphere.

Soon, everyone's slightly surprised eyes turned to Mu, who was sitting quietly in the corner and had been silent since the quarrel broke out. This quiet girl who had never expressed her inner thoughts and whose expression was difficult to read, spoke up at this moment... and even her voice was filled with anger for the first time.

Although compared to Li Xi's overwhelming outburst, Mu's emotions were so subtle, but at this moment, Mu, who expressed his thoughts for the first time, after a long silence, made an incredible move in full view of everyone.

Mu put her guitar back into her backpack and silently put it on her back. Under everyone's gaze, Mu turned her back to everyone and said word by word in her unique voice without any emotion:

"If you want to disband the band...then do it."

"Anyway, I've never felt happy about being in a band... not even once."

"……Why?"

Mu's voice was very soft, so soft that even the sound of raindrops hitting the window seemed to cover her volume. But her light words were like the last straw that broke the camel's back, completely pushing the band into an abyss from which there was no return...

As soon as Mu finished speaking, she couldn't help but look at Chen Qi beside her - her heart was not heavy, she hoped to see some expression in Chen Qi's eyes, some relief like being relieved...

However, Mu did not see the expression she expected on Chen Qi's face as she wished... Her trembling eyes only saw Chen Qi silently closing his eyes and then letting out a long sigh that seemed like a lament... As if he was spitting out endless sadness, she only witnessed an ending that was within his expectations and a foregone conclusion.

...Why is it like this?

Did I...do something wrong again?

“…Then that’s it.”

In the end, Chen Qi, who was exhausted by all this torture, turned all his thoughts into a sigh of self-abandonment. He quietly packed up all his manuscripts, put them in his bag, and walked out the door step by step without looking back...

"——Congratulations, great genius." Before Chen Qi left, Shiina Riki still did not see a trace of regret on Chen Qi's face. He said coldly, with words that could not be described as sarcasm or resentment, but were definitely the most pointed. He faced Chen Qi's back, suppressed the bitterness in his heart, and said: