They are in the music show, but I am a stranger to them

"Can we...play now?"

"Of course." Facing Mu's rare request, Chen Qi happily agreed without saying anything. Soon, after everyone was ready, they began the first performance, which was not very skillful.

Although, because it was the first time to perform, everyone's cooperation seemed a little lacking.

However, Mu felt the remaining joy in his heart from everyone's performance, Deng's singing, and every line of the lyrics, and it seemed to be quietly expanding...

"Today, the surrounding area is sunny with heavy rain~"

"Yesterday was also a busy day with nothing to do."

…I see. Is “Ama no Weak” a song that makes people feel happy?

Listening to the lyrics that Deng was trying to sing, listening to this song that Chen Qi wrote to describe her inner world based on his understanding, even though Mu still felt confused, she felt the care and concern and was still happy from the bottom of her heart.

Whenever the melody sounded, she would think of this song, which was written by Chen Qi specifically for her. It represented his concern for her, the world, and the people who worked hard to make her feel happy.

……

Mu felt that he had become a little strange, and that he might have become a little addicted to the song "天ノ弱".

Or rather, Mu was somewhat addicted to the feeling of feeling his heartbeat.

Mu listened to this song silently. He had listened to it countless times in the past few months... Thousands? Tens of thousands? After his joy had a stable source, Mu found that he could not get rid of this feeling.

Because of this feeling of active heartbeat, Mu, who had been suppressing his emotions before, felt unprecedented relief at the moment of release.

Therefore, Mu used Chen Qi's song as a releaser for her emotions. When Mu was outside the band, such as when she was practicing ballet, etiquette, acting... Whenever Mu felt tired and stressed, she would always listen to this song silently, and soon, all the frustration and fatigue would be swept away.

Although, Mu gradually understood that "Ama no Weak" was not a cheerful song. On the contrary, the song expressed a faint sadness... That was an expression that Mu still did not understand until now.

Mu can only understand the joy that I have experienced from this song.

Only at this time did Mu feel that this song, and the time when it was playing, belonged to her alone.

Until one day, a sudden piece of news broke Mu's life immersed in a little joy...

"Ms. Toyokawa is in a coma? When did it happen?"

"Which hospital? I'll be there right now!"

At that time, Mu didn't even react, and rushed to the hospital with her father. Mu's mind was blank until she saw Xiangzi, who also rushed to the hospital as soon as possible, and Chen Qishi who followed her. Only then did she gradually understand Mrs. Fengchuan's current situation through their conversation.

Ruoye Mu didn't know how to diagnose a disease, but she could tell from Xiangzi's almost desperate expression at that moment... Mrs. Toyokawa might have a terminal illness and would not live long.

After all, just hearing the word "bone cancer" was enough to make even Mu feel despair.

That day, in the ward, there was no crying of pain, but Xiangzi, with red eyes, tightly holding his mother's hands, guarding by the bedside all night.

And Chen Qi was also in the ward, silently guarding Xiangzi beside him all night.

"Qi...you should take a rest. Xiang and I are here. It's okay."

"...I'm fine."

However, facing Mu's first concern, Chen Qi declined Mu's kindness after a moment of silence. After forcing a tired smile, he said softly to Mu:

"Let me stay with Xiangzi for a while. She needs me now."

Xiangzi, needs him.

Chen Qi's simple refusal completely deprived Mu Che of the right to say "Don't force yourself" to Chen Qi. Compared with Xiangzi who was now in despair, her concern was so insignificant.

Mu, in fact, knew very well that although Chen Qi was the first person in the band to take the initiative to care about her, she was never the first person to be cared for by Chen Qi.

Xiangzi was the one who had received Chen Qi's special care earlier than himself, and Chen Qi's special care for Xiangzi was even more than that for everyone else in the band, including himself, combined.

"Cry it out, Xiangzi. Cry it out and you'll feel better."

That day, Xiangzi, whose body could no longer bear it, almost fainted while guarding his mother's bed. Chen Qi, who had also endured more than a day, supported Xiangzi and walked to the outside of the hospital without saying a word, and slowly sat down on a bench in the garden.

He was so careful, afraid of disturbing the fragile Xiangzi, as if the glass would shatter to the ground if he moved a little too much.

However, facing Xiangzi, who was still gritting his teeth and clutching his sleeves without saying a word after regaining some consciousness, Chen Qi, after a moment of silence, turned his gaze to Mu, silently stretched out his hands, and motioned Mu to temporarily hand over his guitar to him.

After Chen Qi silently took Mu's guitar, he fumbled around with it unskillfully. After a long while, accompanied by the inaccurate sound of the guitar, Chen Qi played and hummed an unfamiliar song beside Xiangzi's ears...

That was a song that no one else in the Muhe band had ever heard before.

"Well, just a little while longer."

"Just listen to me one more sentence."

Under Mu's gaze, Chen Qi sang the warm lyrics softly, sentence after sentence, in his extremely gentle voice.

Time and again, that song was sung in Xiangzi's ears, and at this moment, the most fragile Xiangzi was moved to tears.

"I love you. I love you."

"Until the end of the world..."

Chen Qi's voice was extremely gentle, every time, it was as if... he was imitating the voice of Xiangzi's mother, whispering softly in Xiangzi's ear, and all the disguised strength in Xiangzi's heart fell off layer by layer.

Gradually, from sobbing to crying, and finally, Xiangzi buried his cheek tightly in the chest of Chen Qi beside him and cried loudly...all this took only ten seconds.

But even so, Chen Qi never stopped singing for a moment. He comforted the fragile girl beside him over and over again in the best way he could.

It was as if, at this moment, Xiangzi was the only one in his world.

Mu, who was standing next to them, less than ten steps away, seemed to have disappeared into thin air again. She stood there woodenly, silently watching Xiangzi who was crying while holding Chen Qi, and Chen Qi who was playing for her wholeheartedly. The feeling of loneliness emerged in her heart again.

But...Mu couldn't say anything. She couldn't even express her loneliness in such an occasion.

Ah, so that's what happened.

I am just a tiny star in the darkness... When shrouded in darkness, my existence may seem so precious and so eye-catching.

But, when the moon rises, how can a lonely and tiny star like me shine brighter than the moon?

Mu knew that in Chen Qi's heart, she was not comparable to Xiangzi at all... She was just a puppet who could prolong her joy for so long by gaining a little attention, begging for a little beating in her heart.

How could I, a "puppet" who just had my own heartbeat, expect to be more attractive than a truly complete "person"?

I should have known this result from the beginning...

Yes, she couldn't ask for more. As long as this heartbeat could continue, it would be the greatest gift to her.

Obviously, everything should be like this...

"Xiao Qi, I want to ask...if there really comes a day in the future, can you take good care of Xiao Xiang for me?"

"In the end, I just hope that my daughter has someone in this world who cares about her and loves her wholeheartedly. That's enough."

...Outside the ward, Mu, who had silently avoided this scene, clearly heard the dying Mrs. Toyokawa in the ward telling Chen Qi her last wish. At that moment, she raised her head unconsciously and took a breath subconsciously.

"I promise you, Mrs. Toyokawa."

But the next moment, Mu clearly heard the moment when Chen Qi in the ward made an absolute promise and promised Mrs. Fengchuan's final instruction... Mu outside the ward also closed his eyes silently.

Feeling extremely depressed for no apparent reason, Mu silently plugged the earphones into her ears... However, this time, when she played the melody of "天ノ弱" again, she could not feel any "joy" in her heart for some reason.

It's so strange... Mu, who couldn't feel the active heartbeat, couldn't help but tremble a little. She tried to turn up the volume to the maximum, but she could no longer feel a trace of familiar emotions.

At this moment, the only thing lingering in her heart was a deep feeling of depression.

"Is wavering affection beautiful or filthy?"

"I don't know where to dispose of it yet..."

"I will wait until I can see the deepest part of the words."

"It's not bad if we just wait..."

As the lyrics of the song played at this moment, Mu gradually realized what the feelings that were lingering in his heart were...

That is... "regrettable".

My heart is feeling regret for the disappearance of that light that once shone on me and has completely left my world.

From now on, that beam of light will probably only shine on Xiangzi forever...

Because he promised that he was destined to use his entire life to illuminate Xiangzi's subsequent dull and colorless life.

But I no longer have the qualifications to even beg for a trace of remaining warmth...

Ah, is this what "regret" feels like?

It feels like... my heart has been lost.

Chapter 78: Mu's memories: You are not worthy to stay by his side

Mu's heart has never resumed beating since that day.

She knew that the ray of light that had once fallen on her because of her loneliness would never be so lucky to shine on her again.

Now he has devoted himself wholeheartedly to shining and giving off heat just for the moon that warms him. The moon will enjoy all the light and warmth of the sun alone, and all that is left for himself will only be to return to the lonely and endless night.

So after she saw the seriously ill Mrs. Toyokawa, in a way that almost no one would refuse, bind Chen Qi and Xiangzi's life together almost forever. After she also saw Chen Qi's various actions that cared for Xiangzi far more than he cared for her, she no longer had any expectations.

So, Mu once again returned to the state when she first joined the band... She no longer had anyone who cared about her, and was left with only the people she wanted to care about.

The only reason Mu stayed in this band was to help Xiangzi and Chen Qi and fulfill Mrs. Toyokawa's wish.

"Please hold on, ma'am. Xiangzi and her friends' live performance will begin soon... Don't you want to at least see your daughter take the first solid step towards her musical dream?"

"I will let you see your daughter and her friends flashing on the stage... This is the least and last thing I can do for you."

——Obviously, Chen Qi has made his first effort to fulfill his promise to "take good care of Xiangzi". Facing Mrs. Toyokawa whose life is slipping away day by day, Chen Qi also tried his best to let Xiangzi witness the tragedy as late as possible.

He also hoped that Mrs. Toyokawa could leave this world without regrets or worries...

After walking out of the ward, Chen Qi quickly locked his eyes on Mu, whose face was also shrouded in a faint haze. After he calmed down, he immediately half-knelt down towards Mu, looked directly into Mu's eyes, and said with a bitter smile:

"Mu...Although this may be a bit unreasonable, are you willing to help me this time?"

"I don't want to see Xiangzi become helpless after losing his mother. Let's go together and become Xiangzi's support in the future, okay?"

...Too cunning, Qi.

At this point, would I still refuse your request? You know that I have witnessed everything that happened between you and Xiangzi. Do you think I would be a heartless person?

Why did I do such a cruel thing? Why did I "voluntarily" give up this light that could never shine on me to Xiangzi?

"……Um."

"Qi, you made the right choice. I... will help Qi and Xiang as well."

However, even with so many thoughts in his mind, Mu finally nodded without hesitation and chose to "give" Chen Qi to Toyokawa Shoko, who needed him more.

Even though Mu's own life story and experiences were even more miserable than those of his now miserable childhood sweetheart...Mu still made this choice.

Not only because Mu had seen the reality clearly and knew that even if he was not so willing, he could not stop Xiangzi from enjoying everything Chen Qi had. It was also because in the first fifteen years of this doll girl's life, no one had ever cared about her demands, her wishes, her needs...

To the point that even Mu himself didn't know what he needed...

Mu only knew that she was so happy when Chen Qi gave her the song, but ever since Xiangzi took it away from her, she could never get that feeling of joy back.

She once again became penniless, with only her two best friends left... One was her childhood sweetheart, Shoko Toyokawa, who had accompanied her for more than ten years in her boring life.

The other one was the "special person" Chen Qi, who gave her the first ray of light in her life, allowed her to experience emotions for the first time in a long time, and made her no longer just a puppet.

All Mu wanted to do was to keep his two friends. For this reason, even if Mu turned back into the puppet he used to be, she... wouldn't care.

After all, as far as the results are concerned, after I joined the band, the number of my friends increased from only Xiangzi to the current two. I also gained a moment of joy. This can be considered that I did not join this band in vain.

"Let us help Xiang get through this difficult time together, Qi."

"…Thank you, Mu."

However, Mu's answer, which concealed all his thoughts, earned Chen Qi a gratified smile, and the next second, Chen Qi's half-squatting figure in front of Mu was getting closer and closer to her.

"Woo?"

Mu didn't even react. She only felt an unfamiliar warmth enveloping her body. Her chin rested slightly on the broad shoulder, and she was unprepared to welcome the first hug she had ever remembered...

Hug... So this is what a hug feels like?

Mu had met his parents and many uncles and aunts who came to visit his home. Some of them were from foreign countries and they would hug his parents to show their close relationship.

But Mu always had a question in his mind...If a hug represents a friendly relationship, then why, in his memory, his father and stepmother had never treated him like this?

Moreover, if hugging was a kind of proof, then why were the hugs between her parents and everyone else always so short? Why were there never any intense and long hugs like those in TV dramas? She had never even felt that people hugging in real life were genuinely happy.

Is there really a hug in this world that can make people feel happy from the bottom of their hearts? Mu had thought about this more than once.

However, she never expected that the answer to her doubts would be so sudden and catch her off guard...