Real elves vs fake elves

Real elves vs fake elves Author: Gu Yueyuan

Fake elves: Equipped with Qingquyi-like equipment, only knows how to use a bow and arrow, has a fake posture, and only knows how to "Gusha" when caught by orcs

True elves: powerful armaments, outstanding martial arts, strict discipline, and superb magic. The lowly greenskins deserve to be wiped out completely, so that the whole world can appreciate the glory of Asuryan!

A geek holding a crumpled tissue: How did my (beep——) game become like this? ! Where is the (beep——) (beep——) game you promised me? ! I advise you to stop meddling in other people's business! Let the elf girl dress up as

Volume: Goblin and Female Knight

Chapter 1: Heroes and Fat Houses Can Sometimes Be Synonymous

Elves are a famous creature in the fantasy world. They are mostly known for their love of nature and beautiful appearance. Their advantages are almost perfect. When describing them, the author's yearning for beauty is often included. All these factors make them quite popular. After a long period of development of fantasy literature, elves in various stories can be said to be flourishing. Although they all bear the name of elves, their settings cannot be said to be exactly the same. They can only be said to be completely different.

For example, there are some elves with horse faces and the word "Mo" in their names, some elves with silver helmets and armor and tall hats, some long-necked cannibal elves, etc., but the most popular ones are often those dirty, cute and useless elves.

After all, it's really vulgar and really adorable. Any otaku would probably pull out his teeth immediately after seeing it.

Those little gay guys who keep chattering around should stop fretting over whether those dirty elves are trash or not, or whether they are scientific or not. Just tell me whether you like to watch it or not!

Of course otakus love to watch it.

But it's just for fun. Even if they say a few sweet words, it's just like Ye Gong who loves dragons but doesn't like them, and if it really happens to them, most of them will probably cry like a fart whose toes have been stepped on.

Now, there is an unlucky fart elf who has traveled through time, and the race he has traveled through is not good, and the gender is even more terrible. There are so many holes in the other world, and he ended up traveling through time as a male wet elf. It is really too much and too inhumane.

How can I, a fat otaku, become a tall, rich and handsome elf?

I really don't know how to be humble.

The above is all that was going through Aenarion's mind at this moment. It may seem like a lot, but in fact it was just a flash of thought.

Now Aenarion was looking in the mirror and thinking about it. Looking at the face in the mirror, the protagonist of this book was very worried that he would be laughed at. It was not narcissism, but real fear. The female elves around him looked at him with something wrong. During the days of traveling here, Aenarion had been trembling and cautious.

He sighed and turned to look at the half-sword in his hand placed next to the dressing table. Aenarion's uneasy heart finally calmed down.

In this world of dangers and dangers, only physical exercise can provide sufficient psychological comfort.

Only tough guys and strong men can survive well in this damn (beep——) game background and can punch others without being punched in the face.

Just as Aenarion finished a day's psychological preparation, put on his training clothes, and prepared for the third training of the day, there was a sudden knock on his bedroom door.

In fact, it was not sudden. Aenarion had heard the hurried footsteps two minutes ago, so he stopped and waited for the visitor.

In this kind of (beep——) game background world, it is never too cautious, because who knows when someone will come over with a bowl of chicken soup mixed with "I love a piece of firewood".

"Please come in."

As the words fell, the bedroom door opened, and a sexy and dashing man and a relatively petite girl walked in.

"grown ups."

The big Ji Lao spoke first, her voice was a little hoarse, not as pleasant as that of an ordinary elf girl.

"The 12 villages at Lava Pass, including Dead Leaf Village and Green Vine Village, have sent us a request for help. Two weeks ago, they were attacked by a human slave-hunting team. Although they put up a strong resistance, they were outnumbered. As of three days ago, seven villages have been captured."

"This is their special envoy. Some of the supplies they promised are parked outside the village. To be honest... it's not much."

"If we agree to their request for help, we still have to plan carefully. After all, the combat effectiveness of the human slave-hunting team is not much worse than their regular army."

The big Ji Lao kept introducing the situation, while Aenarion stood aside and listened. Although he already knew that the human slave-hunting team came to raid Grass Valley, the more detailed the situation was, the better. However, the briefing did not last long. Halfway through the briefing, the two of them realized that something was wrong.

For example, why has the special envoy remained silent until now?

They turned to look at the envoy, and only then did they notice the stunned expression on the pretty girl's face.

"Hey, talk." The big man nudged the woman with his elbow, finally calling her back to her senses. "You were talking to me nonstop just now, but now you're mute?"

The elbow finally brought the pretty girl back to her senses. She rubbed her chest which was almost bruised, and after slightly grinning, she finally showed a bright smile.

That smile was obviously not directed at the big guy who almost elbowed her to death.

"Handsome guy, do you want a date?"

Aenarion: "?"

Big Ji Lao: “!”

Snapped!

The big guy slapped the pretty girl on the back of the head without hesitation.

This blow was definitely more powerful than the elbow just now. It made the poor girl's head buzz. She was almost knocked out by the slap.

"Terry, take it easy, you're not going to use enough force on me."

Out of politeness, Aenarion symbolically taught the big guy a lesson, but he didn't expect that the pretty girl didn't even have the consciousness to go down the stairs, and still stood there with a buzzing head, refusing to give in.

"Handsome guy, what do you think would be a good name for our future child?"

Aenarion: "...Teri, slap her, and do it when she's sober.

Let her talk.”

Tai Li was relentless in obeying the order and swung her hand to perform the "Rock and Mountain Cut" on the spot. The envoy seemed to be overwhelmed by the strong tyranny and murderous intent. She almost let out a scream that echoed throughout the house.

"I'm awake!!! Stop!!! It's going to kill people!!! It's definitely going to kill people!!!"

The slap stopped just one tenth of a centimeter in front of the envoy's face. The violent airflow made the envoy's delicate face flutter. This dazzling airflow not only messed up the elf's hair, but also blew away the drops of cold sweat.

Staring blankly at the palm in front of him, the envoy swallowed seven or eight times before finally mumbling, "I... I seem to see my great-grandmother waving at me..."

Tai Li's basic attack scared the special envoy's revolving lantern out...

Seeing Aenarion waving at her, Ty Lee naturally moved aside so that her lord and the envoy could face each other.

Seeing that the envoy's eyes finally lit up a little, Aenarion spoke with a serious and majestic face.

"name."

Envoy: "Lena, Lena of the Bloodvine Family, the third in line to the throne of the clan leader, an honorary knight of the Blue Rose Knights, and currently a member of the Queen's Guard."

Aenarion: "What is the current situation at the 12 villages of Lava Pass?"

Lena: "Now...now there are only five villages left. In fact, we have concentrated all our people in Vine Town. The high walls there can effectively block the attack of the slave-hunting team. However, the slave-hunting team has divided a small number of people to surround Vine Town, and the rest are looting everywhere. The situation at Lava Pass is actually very bad. If there is no effective support, it is only a matter of time before it is completely lost."

Chapter 2: How can we become good elves with this group of insects?

Ever since the Lava Pass changed hands, the vast Elf Forest has become completely defenseless to humans. Due to the ancient "Silver Treaty", it is certainly impossible for humans and dwarves to send regular troops to wage war against the elves, but the vast number of slave-hunting teams are like flies that smell dog shit, and they are madly sticking to them.

As for why these slave-hunting teams were so powerful and well-equipped, and whether they were funded by human nobles, it was unknown. Anyway, the elves, having lost their natural defenses, had completely become uncles who were bullied by little girls. They could only watch the slave-hunting teams come and go like the wind, and could hardly complete a large-scale resistance.

Ever since Aenarion traveled through time five years ago, he has heard news of emergencies at the border almost every year, but the situation has never been as serious as it is this year. Looking at the crazy actions of the slave-hunting team this time, it seems that they want to take down all 12 villages guarding the border in one go.

"The Flower Valley Royal Court has not taken any action? As the current nominal supreme leader of the elves, our honorable Queen should set an example."

Aenarion spoke as he considered the resources at hand, his words full of sarcasm, as if he was quite unimpressed by the "Queen" he was talking about.

After hearing what Aenarion said, Lyanna's expression was a little embarrassed. After all, she was still the "Queen's Guard", but she couldn't get any help from the queen she was loyal to. In the end, she could only ask for help from the "Wild King" in front of her.

However, although he was ridiculed as the "Wild King" by other royal courts, the Lord Aenarion in front of him definitely possessed noble blood that surpassed all royal families. The "bling bling" lighting effects were not fake at all. Lena was still several meters away from him, but she was dazzled by the dazzle.

Seeing this, Lena instantly understood why so many royal courts were so wary of this "wild king".

"I will help you. After all, the Elven Forest is not safe. Those insects don't understand the principle of losing one's lips and teeth, but I can't just sit back and watch with a clear conscience."

Aenarion stroked his smooth chin, thinking about the wealth he had accumulated over the years. He thought that this little bit of money could not withstand any waste. Although he often complained about the 12 border villages treating the slave capture team like a sister in their home field, he would not be too arrogant when he really got the chance.

"But sending troops requires food and fodder. You don't want the news that you hired someone to send troops but can't provide food and fodder to spread everywhere, right?"

Although she felt that Aenarion's tone was strange, Lena nodded: "Of course, you need..."

"Five thousand gold shields."

Aenarion calmly held up five fingers. Seeing this offer, Lena's expression was stunned again.

"I...I can only give you 500 at most..."

"It's alright." Aenarion's expression remained calm. "I can lend you the money."

Lyna was stunned again. What Aenarion said almost made her CPU burn out. "Um... what do you mean? I don't quite understand."

"You... lend me money, and then let me give you the borrowed money..."

She almost swallowed the next sentence back. Lena was thinking wildly in her heart, isn't this just taking off pants to fart?

"That's right. I will transfer 6000 gold shields to you first, but 1000 of them are prepaid interest and management fees, and the remaining 5000 are the military expenses you will pay me. So I don't have to give you these 6000 gold shields directly. What you need to do is to pay off the military expenses of these 5 gold shields within 6000 years. I will give you an interest rate of %. Very cheap, right?"

Lena blinked her eyes, not knowing whether she heard it or not.

Understand.

Aenarion: "By the way, based on the tax revenue that the 12 border villages can receive each year, you need to mortgage the ownership of these 12 villages to me. If you fail to pay back the money within five years, I will reasonably take back the ownership of these villages."

Lena blinked again, like a drowning fish desperately opening its gills. Although she didn't quite understand, she seemed to be able to see that her future was dark...

"I... I'm just a special envoy..." For her own future, for her bleak prospects, Lena decided to fight back, "I can't handle things of this level..."

Aenarion: "Tomorrow's horse is no match for today's mule. Do you really want to see your sisters wail under the whip of the slave catchers? Do you really want to watch villages burn down? Wake up. The slave catchers' offensive this year is unprecedented. They are determined to completely open the portal to the depths of the Elven Forest. If they succeed, you and your family will be the eternal sinners of the Elves."

Lena's heart began to frantically hesitate. It seemed that after a fierce ideological struggle, she finally gritted her teeth and said, "Okay... I agree. I agree to this contract in the name of the Bloodvine Family. I only ask that you send troops quickly to defeat those damn bastards."

Finally revealing a slight smile, Aenarion nodded very reservedly: "Very good, I will draft a contract later. When signing, remember to use your family emblem seal, not your name."

This one sentence completely dispelled Lena's little thoughts that she hadn't even had time to think about, and even made her think, "It turns out that risks can be avoided by using different signatures!"

Although she felt like she had fallen into a pit she had never seen before, Lyanna had no other choice. If she couldn't get out of here with Aenarion, she would have to find a way to sell her soul to the devil.

At least selling it to an elf is better than selling it to a devil, right?

"Terry, issue a mobilization order immediately. Count out a team of 100 archers and 10 rangers, and have them assemble at the training ground in an hour. At the same time, have the political officer prepare a 1200 gold shields bonus and deliver it to the soldiers when they enter the training ground. The 12 border villages are about 60 kilometers away from us. We will try to enter the battle zone tomorrow morning."

Lyanna was stunned for a moment, as if she was surprised by the number of troops sent by Aenarion, not because there were too few, but because there were too many. However, before she could say anything, she was grabbed by Terry's arm and was pulled away without any resistance.

Aenarion's room returned to peace again. After confirming that there was no one else within 50 meters of him, he looked at the statue in the middle of the room.

A statue of a deity.

"Turkey, are you there?"

Time seemed to freeze for 3 seconds.

"How many times have I said it! I am a phoenix! The great and supreme Phoenix God with godhood! Not a fiery chicken!!!"

Instantly, a long string of angry roars filled with swear words rushed into Aenarion's mind. While listening to this string of sacred swear words, he imagined a tiny, feathery chicken in his mind.

Don’t mention it, there is a special kind of ugly cuteness.

Chapter 3: Rich women love big tits

"Well, my God, we are about to go to war. Please give me some blessings. I know you can't give me permanent blessings, so I will give you one that will last for about a week. By then, the war will be almost over. I also know your level, so I won't force you."

Aenarion's tone was so flat that it didn't sound like he was communicating with a god at all.

"Also, don't give me a powerful blessing. Just give me a slight increase in marching speed. We don't expect you to be too powerful."

"What what what what what?!!!"

The flaming bird exploded on the spot.

"How dare you look down on me?!!! You asked me to give you a blessing for a week, but I gave you three kinds of blessings, each lasting for a month! You asked me not to give you a powerful blessing, but I gave you a powerful blessing like the Flame Sword Blessing!"

Looking at the firebird that was furious, Aenarion had only one thought in his mind.

It’s so easy to understand. I wish women could be as easy to understand as the Phoenix God.

With just two sentences, the gods granted three top-level blessings. It's true, it's enough to sell courses.

"Oh, one more thing." Aenarion's expression remained unchanged, and his smile was calm. "Today's tribute is on the table over there."

When the turkey heard this, he was stunned at first, then turned to look in the direction indicated by Aenarion, was stunned again, and then spoke in surprise.

"It's a snack!"

"Yes, it is a snack." Aenarion nodded, his expression unchanged. "But it is mine. Yours is the cauliflower beside the snack."

The flaming bird was completely stunned.

"Cantonese-style xiaolongbao with fat-house happy water is something I used to get tired of. It's really hard to recreate it now. The taste in my memory explodes on my tongue again, which makes me feel a lot of emotions."

The firebird said nothing, but Aenarion could imagine its crying expression.

"You know, I spent almost three months researching to make these two things, and the reason why I have such a hard time trying to eat something now is all because of you."

Suddenly, the scene changed. As the words came out of Aenarion's mouth, the Phoenix God's eyes suddenly became very vague. The thought that was originally made to cry