I'm not Yingjie

Chapter 93 The Sky Lost Its Color

I don’t know since when, being forced to do things against one’s will has become synonymous with growing up.

From the moment the fetus moves in the mother's womb, a person's life begins involuntarily. The cry that symbolizes the birth of life has also become synonymous with the beginning of suffering.

The shadow cast by the passage of time behind us seems to allow us to only see the struggle and pain within it.

When they begin to face the future positively, they are not doing so in order to arrive at a future of their own free choice.

It’s just that they can’t go back to the past when they had no control over themselves.

……

"Congratulations to us, our dream has come true."

After finishing the ten and a half hour operation, Mei washed her hands, instructed the nurse on some things and walked out of the operating room, where she ran into Mebius who had come out earlier than her and was waiting.

She didn't look like she was waiting intentionally, and her expression was a little surprised when she saw Mei come out, but Mei could still tell that Mebius was waiting for her, perhaps because she didn't expect him to come out so soon.

"This is not a dream, at least not for you and me." Mei seemed not to hear the sarcasm in Mebius' words and shook her head. "We are just carrying out the necessary measures to keep humans alive."

"Including sacrificing your friends and your boyfriend?"

"This is their choice, and we respect their choice."

us……

Yeah, we.

Mebius didn't even know why she stopped Mei.

"Kevin will go to the front line after he wakes up. From now on, he is the final line of defense for mankind and the savior of mankind. What we need to do next is to perfect the super-transformation surgery and then expand the line of defense."

Mei has a lot of things to do and she can't stay with Kevin.

Even after he wakes up, he will probably feel at a loss about his condition.

Time pushed them forward, and they no longer had time... and no way to hug each other.

……

"Lin, from now on, please keep going. No matter what setbacks you encounter, please keep hope in your heart."

"Ellie is right. Miracles do exist and they happen for important people. After all... you see..."

"I am the miracle you and 'he' have conjured."

Lin's consciousness emerged from the vast ocean. He still remembered the severe pain that was about to annihilate him before he sank into the darkness. Things that were contrary to himself were integrated into his body. Everything that was original was destroyed, recast, and then destroyed again. In such a brutal way, the human part was used to suppress the Honkai beast part and complete the rebirth.

In the midst of his confusion, where he could not feel himself, he heard a voice that only appeared briefly for a short moment and then disappeared.

Continue to float in the Black Sea, waiting for... the moment of waking up.

"...You can sleep a little longer. Thanks to you, your good friend who completed the operation has already rushed to the front line. As a failure, it's better to avoid causing trouble for yourself."

Mebius's face appeared above his open eyes.

The expressionless pretty face looks familiar, yet strange.

Lin realized his "abnormality".

"That's why I said... you should stop making things difficult for yourself. It's an accident that you survived." Mobius turned his head away. "Close your eyes and get some more sleep."

Lin looked at her soft profile and asked, "Did my surgery...fail?"

"If it hadn't failed, you would be on a transport plane to Australia by now."

What Lin recalled at this moment was the scene he saw last time when he was unconscious.

That thing Mebius with the snake eyes talked about...the side effects of the super transformation surgery.

"Kevin, did anything happen after his surgery?"

"The Honkai Beast Pavanti that Kevin fused with gave him the ability to control ice and snow comparable to the Fifth Herrscher, but the price was that the temperature around his body dropped to minus thirty degrees."

Mebius downplayed the exaggeration.

It was minus thirty degrees Celsius, a temperature at which one would get frostbite if they got close to it. This meant that Kevin could no longer get too close to other people.

This also includes Mei.

"…Although I expected it, the first person you asked was Kevin."

Mebius took off his coat tiredly, leaving only a cool short-sleeved shirt and skirt, then sat on the bed and took off his shoes. He pushed Lin with a cold expression: "Go inside a little."

Lin moved obediently, but before he could lie down on his side, Mebius got into the quilt and filled the remaining space on the bed with his body.

Lin was filled with her arms, and he wanted to take some more out, but Mebius also moved closer to him. When he moved back, she pushed forward, until there was no place to retreat, she leaned her head against him with peace of mind and closed her eyes.

Her breathing was even and steady. It seemed that she had not had much sleep in the past few days, so she fell asleep quickly.

As she said to Lin: Get some more sleep.

They didn't seem to need any more words. Lin stared at her face, and after a while, he closed his eyes.

What he didn't know was that under the quilt, Mebius's hand was pinching his arm so hard that it seemed as if he was twisting off a piece of flesh.

Korin had no reaction to this and didn't even know that Mebius had done this.

After he fell asleep, Mebius opened his eyes again, his light blue pupils reflecting Lin's sleeping face.

This was the first time she saw Lin’s real face, but it didn’t give her any surprise.

It was as if she had always known he was like this.

Lin's surgery failed, and his current body is neither a fusion warrior nor an ordinary human.

He did not have the terrifying physical fitness of a fusion warrior, nor did he have Kevin's miraculous abilities that were exactly the same as those of a Herrscher. All he got was "damage".

Lin lost his three senses: touch, smell and taste.

The damage left in his body by Vashak's DNA is like Kevin's hypothermia, an irreversible mark. Even if the corresponding organs or nerves are replaced, it cannot be restored.

In other words, Lin is no longer complete as a human being.

He could not taste anything, smell anything, or feel the touch of others.

Moreover, even if the vision is not completely lost, part of it is missing.

Now, the world in Lin's eyes turned into empty black and white, and he could no longer see the hair color in the photo.

If Kevin has lost the qualifications to embrace others, then Lin has lost the meaning of embracing others.

The light in Mobius' pupils went out.

Just like the eyes she saw when Lin opened his eyes.

Slowly, like a porcupine afraid of hurting someone, she reached out her hand towards Lin's face...

Chapter 94: The Path of Being a Human Being

The girl walked into the dusty house. The dust raised by her footsteps made her cover her mouth and nose. She fanned the dust in the room that no one had been to for several years.

The layout of the rooms in the Fire Moth headquarters is similar, but everyone can adjust it according to their personal preferences. The owner of this room is obviously someone who doesn't care much about the accommodation environment.

The unplanned and messy environment, the piles of clothes and white coats, the packaging boxes of fast food...

After the Fire Moths sacrifice their lives, their rooms will be reallocated to new people, but for some people who have made significant contributions to the Fire Moths, their rooms will be preserved as they were, using sterilizers to maintain their final appearance as a memorial to them by others.

The girl opened a drawer at random, and inside was a diary.

She took it out, flipped through it casually and found a familiar name.

Forest.

The girl turned the diary to the front and started reading from the beginning when the man entered the Fire Moth. It was clear that he didn't have time to write in his diary most of the time. He just wrote down some things he thought were important here and there.

During his lifetime, he provided many advanced technologies to the Fire Moth, and more than half of Lin's equipment was made by him.

After he met Lin, the focus of the narrative gradually shifted to Lin. He wrote in his diary with guilt and emotion that he might have regarded Lin as a substitute for his dead friend. The complicated feelings made the girl pause.

"If there is anyone who can represent those of us who cannot move forward, I think it is only Lin."

"Man is born a wingless bird that longs to fly, so what I have to do is to give him wings."

The final record came to an abrupt end, and this person's significant contribution was only stored so inconspicuously in this small diary.

……

No one has moved into this room yet, so the furnishings inside are still the same as they were before you left, but they will probably be replaced soon.

The girl could sense a certain emotion lingering in this room, and could feel it intuitively from the various decorations and objects left behind.

She walked quickly to the head of the bed, lifted the quilt and lay down to cover herself, closing her eyes to feel the feeling of the original owner resting here.

After a while, she opened her eyes and looked at the photo frame on the bedside table.

There is a person in the photo frame who is particularly conspicuous. He is present in every picture.

Adoration? Worship? Confusion?

The girl couldn't describe the man's feelings, because there was an untouchable barrier between the man and the person in the photo.

But compared to her feelings for Lin, the girl was more interested in her mental journey.

Lin is in every photo, but the overall content of each photo is completely different, from the initial multi-person team photo, to the later two-person photo of her and Lin, to the final photo with only Lin.

As the content of the photos changes, what she sees in her heart is also changing.

It is becoming more and more narrow-minded and more and more extreme.

In the end, did this person let it go?

The girl guessed as she put the photo back into the distance.

……

According to the database, the girl found the right place.

After a man rebelled and passed away, the property he left behind was taken over by the Fire Moths. They did not have the energy to sort out which of the man's things were useful, so they sealed them all up somewhere.

She walked in and without having to reach out to turn on the light, the light above her head suddenly lit up.

After walking around those ambiguous things, she picked up a book curiously. The bright red cover looked quite old, and the content was a clichéd urban novel, which was really inconsistent with the taste shown by this person's other things.

However, if you look more carefully, you can actually find some entertainment items that are considered tacky, and when placed together with items that may contain secrets, they are really eye-catching.

Is this considered as not being able to distinguish between elegance and vulgarity?

The girl had more or less guessed what this man was thinking. It's not that he didn't know that these things were vulgar, but he didn't care whether they were noble or inferior, elegant or vulgar. It was enough to treat all of them equally.

"wack."

Even the girl had to comment on him.

Although life is full of bias, we are unwilling to admit that humans have different natures when looking at different things.

Contradiction is the best description of him. Good guy or bad guy? It seems to be as meaningless as commenting on the value of these books.

……

After many months, the girl returned to this room, and the configuration was exactly the same as before she left. This was also a characteristic of that person.

The house is so clean and simple that you can't tell anyone lives there. He uses the most basic things and lives a simple life. Even taking a shower only takes three minutes... I guess everyone who knows him would think so.

But in fact, Lin would also put a pot of flowers in the corner of the room, fill the refrigerator with all kinds of food, cook different delicious dishes with fish and meat every day to satisfy his appetite, and soak in the bathtub for about ten minutes after taking a bath...

That person probably has been living his life without being understood by others.

In fact, the girl didn't look at the room too carefully. This time she could look around the empty room to her heart's content.

In addition to the usual arrangements, the girl noticed that one of the drawers was locked.

Lin doesn't have any secrets. He has always openly shown everything he has to others. As for how others understand it, it is none of his business.

So Lin has locked things, which is quite novel.

The girl touched the keyhole, and then a key appeared in her hand. She inserted it and turned it to open the lock.

The contents inside were somewhat unexpected.

Two broken sword handles, a beret, a coin, a pistol... and some useless things were piled together. It was impossible to tell who they belonged to, and no one knew where Lin found them from.

But what can be seen is that Lin Zai carefully keeps these items that have lost their owners and value. These items mean a lot to him, so he carefully locks them in a drawer.