They all pushed me!

The heat that beats in my chest...

Sarina Tendouji had no way to find the most suitable word from the poor vocabulary in her mind to describe the feeling at that moment. This touch could not be turned into language or words, but was more like a hazy warmth and loneliness.

I just feel my heart beating very fast.

-------------------------------------

That night, Beichuan Liang wrote a new supplement on the first page of the wrinkled script he carried with him:

[Incompleteness is loneliness, seeking to make up for it is to get rid of loneliness, when one loneliness seeks another loneliness, there is a desire for love. ]

Beichuan Ryo bit the tip of the pen gently, and suddenly remembered the girl that Mr. Izaki had shown him during the day.

The other person's name also seems to be love.

Chapter 4: Children only have heart

Perhaps because he had experienced too many things today, Tendoji Sarana beside him had fallen asleep, and his even breathing could be clearly heard in the quiet ward.

But Beichuan Ryo hadn't gone to bed yet. He pulled the curtain that separated the two beds, then took out a small portable desk lamp he had brought from his luggage, leaned on the bed and read the script for a while, then took out his cell phone.

Unread messages are displayed on the screen.

After clicking on it, it turned out to be a message from Kindaichi Toshiro, the stage director and general manager of the LALALAI Theater Company. He and Kitagawa Ryo's adoptive father, Kitagawa Susumu, graduated from the same drama school. Several of their classmates wanted to further study acting, so they hit it off and formed a theater company after graduation.

It was also thanks to this relationship that Kitagawa Ryo was able to debut as a drama actor in the LALALAI theater troupe. However, the troupe at that time was actually very small. After all, it was just the product of a few newly graduated students who acted on a whim.

However, with the emergence of Kitagawa Ryo himself, the troupe's reputation and fame also suddenly expanded. With sufficient funds and in order to fill the gap in personnel, Kindaichi Toshiro opened the WorkShop (acting training class) with great fanfare, hoping to attract some potential newcomers.

Although the name printed in the largest font on the promotional poster is 'Beichuan Liang', it is just a gimmick anyway, and it is nothing more than to attract more attention from good seedlings.

"I heard you went to Miyazaki today? Would it be okay for you to bring me some souvenirs when you come back?"

Seeing Kindaichi Toshiro's familiar tone, Kitagawa Ryo also smiled knowingly. Compared to his overly strict adoptive father, the troupe leader undoubtedly left a better impression on him. Moreover, because of his work, over a long period of time in the past, he had more contact with this bearded uncle than with his adoptive father, and their relationship was quite familiar.

Because he had already clicked on the message, the suffix "unread" suddenly became "read". Before Beichuan Liang could reply, another sentence came from the other side:

"Boy, you are still awake?"

"If I said I was picking out a gift for you, would you believe me?"

"Heh... You must be in a hospital right now, and you're still picking out souvenirs for me. If you can honestly come back to Tokyo on time and give a couple of classes to those newbies who were lured in by your name, that would be the greatest gift you can give me."

Seeing that the other party typed a long paragraph in one breath, Beichuan Liang shook his head, sighed, and simply walked out of the ward quietly, preparing to go to the atrium alone.

But he didn't expect that after he walked out, he found that there was a drizzle in the sky. Beichuan Liang had no choice but to stand in the corridor beside the atrium and chose to call back.

"Have you just had a drink?"

As soon as the call was connected, a burp was heard from the other end. Beichuan Liang wrinkled his nose, feeling that the strange smell of alcohol and vomit was floating over along with the sound.

"…It was invited by that guy Beichuan."

Kindaichi Toshiro drunkenly replied:

"You know why."

"That must be because of my unborn brother or sister."

The late night breeze was a bit biting. Beichuan Liang tightened his clothes, switched the phone from his left hand to his right hand, and replied without any emotion.

"I had already... uh... guessed that you would have this reaction."

Kindaichi Toshiro laughed out loud on the other end of the phone:

"That's why I was very optimistic about you. It's because only people with flaws like you can have such acting skills. The so-called natural sense of drama is just a nice way of saying it. After all, abnormal guys like Liang have only been imitating decent humans since they were young."

"When that bastard Beichuan adopted you, I actually went with him. You were only three years old at that time, but you showed a strong desire to perform, as if you desperately wanted to be adopted, so Beichuan threw you directly into the troupe."

Beichuan Liang heard the other party gulp down the wine, as if swallowing it again:

"Hey, you're not still rushing to the second stall, are you?"

"…What second stall? He's already gone home and is drinking beer from the fridge!"

"Don't change the subject with me, kid."

"But don't worry too much. If that bastard Beichuan really doesn't want you, then you can come and be my son. Then... hehe."

Beichuan Liang rubbed his brows with a headache. He felt that running to the courtyard in the middle of the night just to listen to a drunkard's incoherent complaints was a waste of time:

"I'm going to die."

After saying this in an unpleasant tone, Beichuan Liang was about to hang up the phone.

"Hey hey hey... okay, it's up to you whether you want to hang up or not."

"Anyway, let me tell you one last thing. You can act and study the role, but don't let yourself get too obsessed. You dare to secretly go to the hospital now. If you play a role that is about to commit suicide in the future, will you..."

Before Kindaichi could finish his words, Kitagawa Ryo had already hung up the phone.

He put his cell phone in his pocket, went back to the ward, and tiptoed back to his bed, only to find that Kindaichi Toshiro had sent him two more messages.

"Come to think of it, there is also a child from an orphanage like you in this WorkShop. How should I put it? Her characteristics seem to be... um, different from yours."

"Katsuya recommended her to me. I think he met her when he was looking for models for a fashion magazine. She belongs to the Berry Pro agency and they are probably planning to train her to be an idol. She just came here to learn some acting skills."

Along with the message came a photo.

She was the same girl named Hoshino Ai whom I had seen from Mr. Izaki during the day. She was wearing a light-colored hoodie and a white baseball cap. Judging from her facial features alone, she was worthy of being praised as 'pretty'.

But his posture was terrible and his eyes were wandering, as if he had never received any acting training. Compared with the other newcomers around him, he felt distinctly out of place.

Hearing this name repeatedly in a short period of time, Beichuan Liang himself also found it interesting, and replied casually with a slightly raised corner of his mouth:

"I see."

Then he turned off his cell phone, covered himself with the quilt, and soon fell asleep while lying down.

Kitagawa Ryo is not particular about his bed, which is a very convenient advantage for an actor.

-------------------------------------

"Good morning, Sarana."

The next morning, the moment Tendoji Sarana opened her eyes, Kitagawa Ryo had just opened the curtains in the room. He slightly raised his head, looked over here and said good morning to her.

However, unlike the scenes that often appear in TV dramas, there was no ray of bright sunshine outside the window, nor did it happen to shine on that person's face and create a dazzling halo. It rained last night and it was cloudy today.

"Good morning……"

Sarina tried to answer subconsciously, but her throat was still dry as she had just woken up early in the morning. The sound she made was inexplicably strange, causing her to cough a few times in embarrassment.

"I poured you some water."

Beichuan Liang nodded in the direction of the bedside table next to her, and sure enough, there was a glass of water there. The drinking water had a temperature that was carefully controlled so it was neither hot nor cold. It felt very comfortable in the hand. After drinking it all in one gulp, she could feel a warm and dull feeling sliding down from the esophagus into the stomach.

"Good morning, Ryo."

As if she felt that what she said just now didn't count, Sarina shook her hand and said it again. She still wore a hat when she slept, and it was swaying slightly with her movements.

It's like an external organ that has been solidified on the body.

She slept very well last night, and after waking up she did not feel sleepy at all, she was even a little excited. If every morning in the past seemed like a bottomless pit, long and dark, then this morning Sarina felt looking forward to the new day for the first time.

Beichuan Liang came closer and bent down to help Sarina tidy up the slippers beside the bed. Sarina felt that his eyes were filled with a direct but not sharp, transparent but fearless power.

"Go wash up first."

He raised his head and said this, and at that moment a bright and clean canine tooth unreasonably pierced into the girl's pupil.

While Sarina Tendouji was washing up, Ryo Kitagawa also put on a hat and walked out of the ward alone. Wearing a hospital gown, he was inconspicuous among the patients and doctors coming and going.

In order to avoid causing a commotion, the hospital also issued a document. Even the few nurses who were still discussing him enthusiastically yesterday became quiet and stayed at their work stations with a smile.

Because it rained a little last night and the temperature dropped this morning, an early frost knocked the fallen leaves that were still swaying on the branches yesterday to the ground. The cleaners who got up earlier had already swept them aside. The leaves lay quietly under the tree, and a soothing and slightly bitter earthy smell could be smelled throughout the entire atrium.

Beichuan Liang took a step toward the roadside. He bent down, and his shoes made a thin and crisp sound as they stepped on the dew-soaked dead leaves. He stretched out his left hand and picked up a relatively dry leaf. He easily pinched the leaf into tiny pieces in his palm along the veins, and then raised his hand to let the pieces fly away.

During the initial script writing, he specifically heard the director say that he had hesitated about what season to set the protagonist's death in.

Death in the spring when everything comes back to life has a beauty of strong contrast; death in the scorching summer has the beauty of fireworks that fade away; death in the autumn when everything is withering and falling has the beauty of extreme sadness; death in the snowy winter has the beauty of bone-chilling cold.

While the director and screenwriter were still struggling, Beichuan Liang remembered that the assistant director next to him said something like this:

"Dazai Osamu once wrote in his book: 'I have thought about death. This year, someone gave me a kimono as a New Year's gift. The kimono is made of linen with fine blue-gray stripes. It is probably for summer wear, so I'd better live until summer.'"

"But for patients, the time of death is often not something they can freely decide. No matter how strong their will to live is, it cannot overcome the worsening of their illness."

"Any depiction of scenery and external environment can be placed when the person is still alive or at a funeral, because when it comes to the moment of death, the camera should be given entirely to the actor. As for the background, the more empty and lonely it is, the better."

Finally, the suggestion of the assistant director named Yasushi Gotanda was recognized by the director and screenwriter, and they chose to leave the most important scene entirely to Kitagawa Ryo's acting.

After thinking about the contents of the script for a while, Kitagawa Ryo returned to the ward. Tendoji Sarina wore an extra beige jacket today, and thick pants that carefully wrapped her ankles.

Tendouji Sarina's movements were even slower than Kitagawa Ryo had imagined. When he returned to the ward, she was still brushing her teeth in the bathroom.

Although the ward has its own independent bathroom, it is hardly big enough for two people to wash together. One of the reasons why Beichuan Liang chose to get up early was to avoid getting up at different times.

Breakfast for inpatients is provided by the hospital. Considering the inconvenience of Tendoji Sarana's mobility, it is delivered to the ward by nurses every morning. Before Kitagawa Ryo sat down, a nurse had already opened the door, placed breakfast on the table, and handed a note and pen to Kitagawa Ryo with an expectant look.

Beichuan Liang, who was already used to such requests, smiled at the other party. Just as he was about to sign his name, he suddenly noticed a line of small words on the note:

"I hope Ryo's movie is a big hit!"

[Thank you for your support——Beichuan Liang]

After writing his name carefully, Beichuan Liang handed the note back to the nurse, who immediately held the note in both hands as if it were a treasure and walked out step by step.

While Kitagawa Ryo was signing, Tendouji Sarana was a little uneasy and kept glancing at the movements outside from time to time.

Because Beichuan Liang moved in, the toothbrush and toothpaste cup on the washstand became a pair from one, a combination of plain white and pink, placed leaning against each other.

Sarina Tendouji uses a children's toothpaste that was once endorsed by Ryo Kitagawa. The bright orange-red packaging is very popular with children, and the taste is also fresh and sweet orange.

In sharp contrast, the toothpaste brought by Beichuan Liang did not have any labels or product brands, like a three-no product.

But this is not the issue that Tendoji Sarana is concerned about now.

She carefully observed Beichuan Liang's movements outside the door and took out the toothbrush from her mouth.

Perhaps it was intentional, or perhaps it was accidental, but half a minute after brushing her teeth as usual, Sarana realized that she had taken the wrong toothbrush.

To be more clear, she was using Ryo Kitagawa's toothbrush.

After realizing this fact, the girl's mood quickly went through: I made a profit - if I was discovered, would I be socially dead - no, no, now some idols are selling their own bath water, so this shouldn't be a problem - Liang doesn't seem to be an idol but an actor - but I'm a patient, what if Liang gets infected by me, then I'll be a sinner for all eternity - by the way, do I have an infectious disease? and so on.

After her brain went blank for three minutes, Tendoji Sarana still chose to confess this inexplicably shameful accident to Kitagawa Ryo.

Although on the surface, Tendoji Sarina is a few years older than Kitagawa Ryo, but from the moment they met, she seemed like a younger sister who had not grown up.

Only after Kitagawa Ryo said it was okay did Sarina obediently agree to eat breakfast.

The table in the ward was wiped clean and bright. The hospital staff came to clean it more than three times a day. Kitagawa Ryo had already eaten. He supported his head with his hands and looked at Sarina who was eating seriously. Two vague shadows appeared on the mirror-like table. They were reflected in the ceiling, as if they were in a vast expanse of water.

He met Dr. Goro Amemiya when he went to the hospital cafeteria for breakfast this morning and asked him some questions about Sarana.

If nothing unexpected happens, Tendoji Sarana will probably stay here until she dies... No, when her condition worsens, she will be immediately transferred to another intensive care unit, but by that time she will probably have entered the countdown of her life.

When he thought of this, Beichuan Liang felt that the walls and ceiling here were a little dazzlingly white, and they were so bright that they stung his eyes like broken glass.

And in a place that Kitagawa Ryo didn't notice, someone in the shadows took back his camera, as if he had taken a picture that satisfied him.

Chapter 5: The beginning of Hoshino Ai

The streets of Tokyo are flickering with neon lights. As the largest city in Asia and the political, economic and cultural center of the country, in the minds of most Tokyoites, all other areas except Tokyo can be defined as the countryside without any psychological pressure.

Just as Sarina Tendoji can say with a bit of pride that her parents both work in the central area of ​​Tokyo, for many people, Tokyo means more than just a city. Instead, it is more like a special and noble cultural symbol.

Everything related to Tokyo is naturally of a higher level, not to mention humans, even animals are like this.

"No matter how many times you see it, you will still think Princess Xiangxiang is extremely cute, right? Right?"

In a fast food restaurant next to a subway station near Ueno Zoo, four girls who looked about twelve or thirteen years old were sitting around a table. One of the girls with a round face excitedly started a conversation.

The Princess Xiangxiang she mentioned is the panda at Ueno Zoo. As the child of the two Chinese giant pandas Bili and Xiannv, Xiangxiang has spent her life in Ueno Zoo in Tokyo from birth to now.

Because of this first experience, in the eyes of Tokyo people, this is already a genuine "Kyoto circle" bloodline. Not only was the name chosen through online solicitation and national vote, but in order to express their love, many people also add the suffix "princess" when calling her.

Oh my, that’s exactly what I want.

"It's really cute."

“Although the queue was a bit long, I was able to take some nice photos.”

The remaining two girls also echoed.

"I hope the panda can give us some good luck. We, B-Komachi, must become the best idol group in Tokyo."