Finally, I became their white moonlight

——Even if she is alone, she will always be trapped in this vortex of pain, swallowed by despair and self-blame.

"Shoko-chan..."

It seemed that he was finally touched.

After a long silence, Nagasaki Suyo slowly raised her head, and with her fingertips she gracefully and gently put her hair behind her ears, her voice as soft and low as usual.

"Now that things have come to this, why are you still deceiving yourself and not facing such an obvious 'reality'?"

——But there was an undisguised cold smile in it.

Toyokawa Shoko stood there in a daze, her eyes wide open in surprise: "What are you talking about..."

After completely tearing the poor girl's mask apart, Nagasaki Suyo shook her head gently and sighed with pity and amusement.

"I'm saying, could you please put aside those nice words and think carefully about it?"

"It was obvious that Ming Hai died in an accident, but he was able to leave a video similar to a dying message before the accident happened."

"Not only did he know he was going to die, but he even had time to write two songs to comfort us and properly arrange his own funeral... Don't you find it strange?"

"Is Ming Hai a person with super powers and can know the date of his own death? Or did he actually arrange the accident so that he could die in front of us?"

She raised the corners of her lips, but there was no smile in her eyes.

As if admiring an ostrich with its head buried in the dirt, he tilted his head and stared at Toyokawa Shoko's incredulous expression.

"Xiangzi-chan, would you rather believe those absurd possibilities than think that this is just a dream without any logic or reason?"

After a moment's silence, Toyokawa Shoko closed her eyes and her expression became serious again.

"…Mr. Sushi, it seems you have deceived me."

He did not directly answer her question, but just frowned and said in a cold voice: "Then let me say it again - this is an unquestionable reality, not the nightmare you think it is!"

"Death will not wake you up from your dream, it will only end your precious life in vain."

"No matter how unwilling you are to face the reality, I hope you will at least not use such extreme reasons to deceive yourself and make all the efforts made by Ming Haijun go to waste."

Nagasaki Suyo slowly put away her smile, her pupils became deep and gloomy like whirlpools, and she looked into her stern and solemn amber eyes expressionlessly.

"Deceiving yourself? We both agree on this."

With a cold snort, Nagasaki Suyo left the sofa and patted her skirt calmly.

"Then let's stop here. It seems that there is no need for us to continue chatting."

"That's right, I won't believe your explanation anymore." Toyokawa Shoko also stood up and took out her cell phone to make a call. "Aunt Nagasaki is at work now, right? But because of her daughter's mental problem, she should rush back from the company immediately... Before that, I will do my best to supervise you and prevent you from doing anything stupid."

"Oh, really?" Nagasaki Suyo suddenly smiled brightly and reached out for her cell phone.

Toyokawa Shoko reflexively tried to avoid it, but at this moment, her consciousness suddenly became blurred for a moment, as if all the strength in her body was lost in an instant. She could only fall back on the sofa dizzy, covering her forehead with a look of discomfort.

The cell phone, which he couldn't hold tightly, was naturally snatched away by Nagasaki Motoyo as easily as taking something out of a bag.

“What’s going on…”

The world before her eyes was shaking and leaving afterimages. Toyokawa Shoko forced her eyelids open and asked weakly and tiredly.

With her fingers rapidly tapping the screen, Nagasaki Suyo casually explained, "Some time ago, my mother went to see a family doctor and prescribed a few sleeping pills for me. But I didn't take them. Instead, I hid them and planned to take them together when I had more... I didn't expect that they would come in handy here."

"You, actually drugged me..." Toyokawa Shoko bit her lip and stared at her.

There was no anger of betrayal in his eyes, but instead they were filled with disappointment and grievance like rain and fog, and his voice was rapid and choked like sobbing.

"Why! Why are you still so stubborn even after what Narumi-kun said... Can't you think about your mother, your friends, and me?!"

She clenched her fists tightly and forced a whine from her throat.

"Please, don't be so selfish..."

Nagasaki Suyo simply glanced at her calmly, her expression not wavering at all.

"It's better to save your high-sounding words. It's too late now."

Exit the dial-up interface, click on the band's group chat, and in it

After doing all these things, Nagasaki Suyo put the phone next to her and asked her to lie down on the sofa to prevent her from falling and hitting her head while sleeping.

"Xiangzi, I think you said that?"

"I live to remember his name, and hope that we may meet again in the future."

She leaned down, ignoring the sad eyes of Toyokawa Shoko that were filled with tears, and carefully tidied the girl's hair with her fingertips, a rare gentle and sincere smile revealed in her eyes.

Nagasaki Suyo said softly: "That's what I'm doing."

"Unlike you, I can't wait that long... I don't want to look forward to a future that is so illusory and has no bottom."

"——I want to catch up with him."

My eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, and my consciousness is sinking.

In the gradually enveloping darkness, Toyokawa Shoko could clearly hear her whisper, like a pebble rolling toward the bottom of the valley without hesitation.

"No matter where Ming Hai is, I will chase him to the reality where he exists."

"This is my love, my happiness, and the meaning of my existence."

"So, I'm sorry."

Nagasaki Suyo touched her head, with gentleness, guilt, and apology in her eyes, but there was no hesitation at all.

"This time, I can't wish you happiness anymore."

After she finished speaking, she stood up again and looked towards the balcony.

"Su Shi! Don't... don't..."

Tears kept falling from the corners of her eyes. Shoko Toyokawa struggled hard and tried to open her mouth, but she could only grab the corner of her clothes and make a few broken sounds.

The once elegant and dignified young lady was like a little girl whose feet were caught in a whirlpool. She was left with only the instinct to cry out in despair, but she still could not call back her friend who was about to leave her.

"If you're not here, I—"

Like an extinguished candle, the faint sound gradually dissipated until it came to an abrupt halt.

Without lowering her head again, Nagasaki Suyo just took a few steps forward, and Toyokawa Shoko's hands fell limply, and no more additional movements were heard.

"Goodbye, Xiangzi."

She murmured without turning her head.

The sound seemed to float in the clouds, and was shattered to the ground by the endless raindrops.

"...After I wake up from this nightmare, let me apologize to you."

The gray sky stretches endlessly, and the city’s cries never stop.

It's still raining.

The brown-haired girl with a ponytail pushed open the window, her expression calm, and stepped barefoot onto the damp and cold balcony.

-

I was wrong. I didn’t finish writing even after writing 5,000 words. I will really finish it tomorrow.

In addition, sleeping pills you can get from doctors usually don't have such a strong effect. In this case, it's because the gravity of the world distorts reality, so Xiangzi loses the ability to resist so quickly. Please don't be too serious about it or try it casually.

Then comes the group number: eighty-one-eight-one-one-seven-ninety-seven.

I won’t post it directly for fear of being censored. The question for joining the group is the name of the protagonist. There must be someone there who doesn’t know it, right?

The protagonist of this book is actually Nagasaki Suyo (funny

Volume 168: Chapter Chapter And she chose to fly, even without wings

The biting cold seeped into her bones from the soles of her feet, but it could not slow down her steps forward.

Holding up a transparent umbrella, Nagasaki Suyo slowly walked to the edge of the railing and looked down at the gray city street scene.

The world was like a miniature model. Looking down from more than forty floors above, it was cold and stiff, with a sense of inferior quality everywhere.

The rain was like fog, the umbrella cover made crackling sounds, and my bare calves were soaked almost instantly.

Nagasaki Suyo put down the stool in her other hand, took out a rag, first carefully wiped the rain off the railing, and then covered it with a layer of waterproof mat, so that the railing, which was about two palms wide, could provide a convenient place to sit.

Then she walked up to the stool, held up the hem of her skirt, and sat gracefully on the cushion.

The girl's jade-white legs hung in the air, and she sat on the edge of the tall building with a calm expression, as if she was tired and found a bench to rest.

The world is a lonely ball, wrapping her endlessly.

No one would look up at her, and no one would stop her.

"Sense of ritual... Ming Hai likes this kind of thing, right?"

I know it's meaningless, but I can't help but cling to it.

As expected, she and Ming Hai have a good compatibility and they like similar things.

As if she had thought of something pleasant, Nagasaki Suyo smiled unconsciously and pulled a slightly worn bag in front of her.

——This is the bag that was torn by the robber.

Although she bought a new one later, she did not throw away the bag. Instead, she disinfected it and kept it in the cupboard as a symbol of her first meeting with him.

The beginning and the end, the symbolic echo between the beginning and the end - this is what can be called a sense of ritual.

Besides, Nagasaki Suyo certainly wouldn't forget that thing.

Crack, crack.

The candy jar made a crisp sound when it was taken out of the bag.

Nagasaki Suyo pressed it against her cheek. Although the aluminum can was extremely cold, it gave her a rare warmth on this cold rainy day.

Closing her eyes contentedly, she murmured softly:

"If this isn't a nightmare, I must be doing something really bad right now, right?"

For the boy who was not even her boyfriend, she gave up the family and friendship that she once valued so much, and used suicide for self-movement and self-satisfaction.

He is simply a madman who only thinks about himself and is completely mentally ill...

Nagasaki Suyo certainly understood, but she didn't care.

——After all, when she saw Ming Hai push her away and was smashed into pieces by the spotlight the next moment, her sanity almost collapsed.

Only by going to extremes and becoming completely crazy can she maintain her current calmness and indifference.

"So, whether it's a nightmare or reality... it doesn't matter to me anymore."

Nagasaki Suyo raised her head and gazed at the city in the heavy rain.

——Between the sky and you, there is only overwhelming longing.

Along with the memories that come flooding back are endless regrets and emptiness.

"If only I hadn't kept my distance from him in the end..."

"If only I had paid more attention to him at the end..."

"If only I could protect him in the end..."

"…If only I were the only one in his eyes at the beginning."

Life cannot be repeated, if is always just if.

Before she found happiness, the person she loved no longer existed.

There is no one else she can miss so much.

His cell phone is no longer reachable.

No one answered his doorbell.

I can't smell the clothes he wore.

Even his smile began to fade.

Even so, Nagasaki Suyo's mind is still full of him - she would rather be immersed in this mirage that can never be dispelled forever.

"Narumi, I missed you so much."

"I really want to see you."