Finally, I became their white moonlight

'What's this?'

"Moshie-chan...why are you standing there?"

Gao Songdeng clutched the sheets in a daze. Although he clearly felt that he was lying on the bed, the scene of reaching out to touch the sky appeared in his consciousness extremely clearly.

It is more real than any dream and more magical than any reality; there is no room for resistance and no means of interference.

She could only stand like a ghost beside Nagasaki Motoyo, who was holding an umbrella and sitting on the guardrail, staring blankly at her talking to herself.

"If this isn't a nightmare, I must be doing something really bad right now, right?"

"Narumi, I missed you so much."

"I really want to see you."

“…So, I came to see you.”

"Catch me."

The words fell.

Su Shi threw away his umbrella and jumped down from the tall building.

"Sushi-chan! No!"

Gao Songdeng opened his eyes wide in shock, his heart almost stopped beating instantly, but shouting could not free him from the fear.

Just like the hand that was stretched out to her from afar, I couldn't even touch the corner of her clothes. I could only watch her thin figure flying in the air even though she had no wings.

It seems like it wants to hug someone, and it also seems like it wants to escape from this world where rain never stops.

A happy smile appeared on Su Shi's face.

'Why……'

Takamatsu Deng couldn't understand, and didn't want to understand. The familiar feeling of nausea and pain tore at her throat again, as if she was swallowing a blade while breathing. But compared to the collapse and despair she felt at the beginning, she suddenly felt a little envious that Su Shi could so decisively give up her life in order to find Ming Hai.

"If it were me, would I be able to do it...?"

In a trance, Gao Songdeng couldn't help but think.

"Moshiro-chan, who loves Narumi-san so much, is willing to jump off a tall building just to see him... Do I have the courage to do that?"

do not know.

Like Su Shi, she also wants to see Ming Hai; like Su Shi, even though she knows she won’t get a response, she still likes Ming Hai more than anyone else.

So, can she do the same thing as Su Shi?

"If I become a star in the sky, I can be with him forever."

So, Gao Songdeng was convinced.

She has such determination and courage.

I am no longer a human being, so there is no point in continuing to live; now that I know what warmth is, I can no longer endure the coldness of loneliness.

Maybe I would be afraid of the pain of death, but if I could see Ming Hai this way...

Just let him touch his head.

The warmth of his palm is the best Band-Aid that can heal all the wounds on her body.

His consciousness finally returned to reality. Gao Songdeng covered his head, pulled back the quilt, and slowly sat up from the bed.

"Moshi has already gone, I also need to... go find Ming Hai-san."

Thinking of this, she tried to get off the bed, but her hand pressing on the bed happened to press on the phone, causing the paused video to play again.

“Sometimes you hurt someone unintentionally without realizing it…”

The singing seemed to have pressed the pause button for her, and Takamatsu Deng just stood there, stiff and motionless.

The paranoid and dim eyes were blank at first, and then flashes of helplessness, pain, and struggle appeared successively. The fists hanging at his sides loosened and tightened, and tightened and loosened again.

Finally, her eyes gradually regained clarity after hearing the gentle and clear song. She bit her lip and picked up the phone again.

“I don’t know if you can see this video.”

"But no matter what...even if I leave, don't be too sad, and don't do anything stupid for me."

That was the wish he left behind, that was his expectation for himself.

Takamatsu Deng remembered what Ming Hai said by the stream on the second night of the training camp.

"No matter who you are, we are now at the best distance... If you can't even accept this fact, you will be even more miserable in the future."

——If I ignore Narumi-san’s wishes and cross that distance without permission.

Even if I became a star in the sky with him, he would still turn around and leave me like he did last time, right?

Gao Songdeng didn't want to see his disappointed expression, and even more didn't want to hear him say things like "Deng, I don't like disobedient children."

If there is a day in the future when I can meet him again...

"Mr. Ming Hai, will you touch my head and praise me for doing a good job?"

Just like practicing singing.

It's like shouting loudly on an overpass.

Just like... every day I've been with him since I realized I liked him.

Gao Songdeng hugged his knees helplessly, buried his head deeply in his arms, and his whole body began to tremble slightly.

Like a puppy drenched in the rain, a low whimper came from its throat.

"Murami-kun..."

The feeling of emptiness has not left my body, and it still hurts to this day.

Just at this moment, she suddenly understood what sadness felt like.

——That is to live with those who are not here.

"I also really want to see you..."

His breathing was intermittent, with only fragments of sobs coming out of his nose.

"But, I'm sorry, I can't go find you like Susei-chan did."

'I don't want to make you angry, nor do I want to hurt my parents who are always worried about me.'

So, if I behave like a good kid, will you come back to me?

Can my feelings be conveyed?

"Woo..."

Carrying sadness and prayers, the girl's sobs rang out in the cocoon, constantly tearing at the fragile and delicate darkness.

The rain hit the window coldly.

Under the gray sky, the city remains as indifferent as ever.

Just when no one knows.

The lights in the room, which had been silent for a long time, finally lit up quietly.

-

"Lixi, don't you want to eat?"

"…I'm not in the mood, leave me alone."

"Okay, I'll give you one more day. Remember to go to school tomorrow."

"..."

Shiina Riki did not answer, but just sat on the bed, leaning against the wall, staring blankly into the dark void as if he had lost all his strength.

She had never thought that she would be so vulnerable and helpless.

"What on earth am I doing..."

Words escaped her cracked lips and she buried her face in her hands, regretting and scolding herself countless times.

What happened that day is still vivid in my mind.

Whether it was the shock of seeing the spotlight fall, or the blankness of consciousness when seeing him push away the two people who were hit; or the way he got angry at the staff who drove them off the stage, or the painful reaction of seeing his bloody appearance, with dizziness and retching.

Shiina Riki could not forget it no matter what, and it was impossible for him to forget it. When he woke up in the middle of the night, all he saw in his dreams was the scene of his hands covered in blood.

…Their band members died during that perfect performance.

…Her friend also died in front of her.

She didn't even dare to look at his corpse. She just left all the matters to Xiangzi and stayed away from him, not daring to hear anything about him.

She was afraid to recall how her heart beat faster when he called her name; she was afraid to recall how happy every minute and every second she spent with him; she was even afraid to see other people, afraid that she would shed tears cowardly in front of them.

The times that were once bright and warm have now become memories as sharp as a blade, which will gush blood if touched lightly.

Shiina Riki didn't want to be such a fragile person, so she chose to escape, escape to a corner far away from [CryCHIC], escape to a room where no one could see her expression, carefully maintaining her remaining strength.

And she also knew that she was like this...

In fact, he is more fragile and ridiculous than anyone else.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it—!”

He grabbed his hair with his hands and hit his head again and again, biting his lips again and again.

Ignoring the pain in his body, Shiina Riki clenched his fists tightly and growled hoarsely into the air:

"Why! Why did you do that so easily——"

The end of the sentence gradually lost its strength, as if she could no longer find someone who was willing to argue with her.

She held her head weakly and uttered incoherent sobs.

"Why... didn't you agree to wait for me backstage? You, a bastard who doesn't keep your promise..."

No matter how many times she cried, her strength and reality would not respond to her.

——Just then, the phone suddenly rang.

That was a specially set reminder tone for the [CryCHIC] group message.

The black-haired girl's shoulders trembled slightly. She didn't want to contact anyone - not even Deng, who must be in great pain now. She didn't dare to send any caring messages - and didn't pick up her phone immediately to check. Instead, she kicked the phone farther away as if to escape.

The second message came soon.

Maybe it’s Xiangzi?

Considering how strong that guy is, he was probably concerned about how they were doing recently and wanted them to go to his grave to pay their respects or something.

Shiina Riki didn't want to pay attention and just curled up into a ball, letting the shadow in the corner and the long hair surround him.

But not long after, she felt a sudden sharp pain in her mind, and a scene was forcefully forced into her mind, forcing her to grit her teeth and cheer herself up.

"What the hell...Sushi?!"

"No, why are you climbing so high? Come down now, idiot!"

Stunned, Shiina Riki subconsciously wanted to reach out and grab the other person, but found that he could not move at all.

It was as if my consciousness was tied to the audience seats, and I was forced to watch this movie about a man who died for love.

She stared blankly at Su Shi, who was so crazy that he looked like a completely different person. It was not until he stood up from the guardrail and jumped down from a height of several hundred meters that she seemed to react and shouted in panic:

"Su Shi, don't...!"

Just like then, Shiina Riki could do nothing but watch.

Like a bird with broken wings, Nagasaki Suyo fell straight to the ground, leaving her screams far behind.

next moment.

My consciousness suddenly returned, as if I had escaped from a nightmare.

“Ha, ha, ha… Ugh…”

Shiina Riki covered her chest with her hands, her forehead covered in cold sweat, and she was gasping for breath with a pale face. The familiar feeling of nausea came over her again, and she couldn't help but pull the trash can over and dry heave a few times.

Although she did not see the landing scene with her own eyes, she knew that falling from such a height without any protection, even if there was grass or a mat underneath to cushion the fall, there would be no other ending for Nagasaki Suyo.

"That idiot, just to commit suicide with him, actually did such a stupid thing... He is not your boyfriend!"