Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

"It's okay. I don't mind. After Akiie-senpai comes out..."

"I'm almost done, I'll be right out!"

Troubled by the exhaustion and shame brought about by the series of events since the afternoon, Qiu Hui, who was completely unable to think calmly, picked up her clothes, opened the bathroom door, then rushed out, put her clothes beside the bed, and dived into the bed.

Xiangzi was also frightened by this sudden momentum.

“…Is everything alright?”

She looked at Qiu Hui, who was buried in the quilt with her head down, revealing the curve of her back without any protection, and asked with some concern.

Qiu Hui didn't seem to want to answer. She just buried her head in the quilt and muttered something under her breath.

"...Well, I'll go take a shower first, then?"

Although he was somewhat concerned, he couldn't figure out what the other party was thinking. Xiangzi decided that it would be better to focus on his own affairs first.

"..."

Realizing that it seemed unsightly to lie naked on the bed, Qiu Hui stood up and prepared to get into bed.

She first walked to the closet and took out some thick winter clothes, folded them into a block, and placed them on the bed to serve as a second pillow.

As for the original pillow, out of hospitality, she felt it would be more appropriate to give it to Fengchuan.

So, without saying a word, she lifted the quilt, tucked herself into the quilt on the left side of the bed, and placed her head on a pillow made from clothes.

At this time, Toyokawa-san, who was about to take a bath, seemed to have already started to drain the water. The soundproofing effect of the partition wall was not very good, so Akie could hear it clearly.

"..."

Togawa Aie finally got herself alone, and with the sound of running water in the background, she forced herself to calm down a little.

Today feels really...long.

She took off her glasses, put them on the bedside, and let out a long sigh.

It feels like a whole lot of tough stuff is going on, both professionally and socially.

Not to mention the fatigue caused by work, my mental state has also been up and down like a roller coaster, a mess.

For example...

Thinking of this, Qiu Hui began to sort out her experiences from the afternoon until now.

Before school was over, I was worried about Aine's mental state.

After school, I felt depressed because I couldn't do anything about Aine's situation.

After that, Ryo counseled me and gave me the courage to overcome my concerns and convey my thoughts to Aine.

After that, Ryo and I ate ramen together, and during the meal I chatted with Aine for a long time, and began to worry about "a relationship beyond friendship".

After that, Xia Shizi talked to me about work issues, and I started to worry about the contract arrangements again.

Finally, I was now lying on the same bed with a classmate I had just met, and both of us were only wearing underwear...

…The above series of events all happened on the same day.

No, Toyokawa-san is not just a "classmate I just met not long ago".

How should I put it? More than half of the members of the band that Aine is in are from CRYCHIC, and Toyokawa-san is the soul of CRYCHIC and the fuse of its disbandment; I have some complicated feelings for Aine, and Deng wants to form a band with Aine for life, and Toyokawa-san used to be Deng’s close friend, and this Toyokawa-san is now preparing to lie on the same bed with me, almost naked...

Just taking stock of the above series of confusing character relationships makes Qiu Hui feel like wailing.

My life…when did it become so punk?

Looking back on when I first received the Newcomer Award, I even stuttered when talking to the editor!

The strong sense of shame and inexplicable guilt made Qiu Hui feel like crawling into the bed and covering her head.

…Oh my god, what made me go from being a rookie author who couldn’t even speak clearly to what I am now? Playing in a band?

Chapter 71: Being Frank

at the same time.

In the bathroom.

Xiangzi realized that Qiu Hui was right. The "bathtub" in this apartment suite was more like a "bucket" than a "tank".

But, this is not a big problem for her.

In order to save some tap water costs, she once tried squatting in the bucket, then using a ladle to scoop up the hot water in the bucket and pour it down to achieve the flushing effect.

After taking off his underwear and hairband and putting them aside, Xiangzi gently stepped into the small bathtub that was already filled with water, and then sat in the tub with his hands on his knees.

She has a petite figure to begin with, so it fits perfectly and she doesn't feel too cramped.

After sitting down, she subconsciously looked around and noticed the hook attached to the wall with Velcro next to the bathtub and the plastic scoop hanging on the hook.

As expected, Senior Akihime would do the same.

Feeling somewhat cheerful, Xiangzi took the scoop, scooped up a spoonful of water, and started rinsing his hair.

As the hot water flowed through her long light blue hair, Xiangzi suddenly had an idea.

For some reason, I suddenly didn't want to continue calling Akiie "senpai".

Deliberately emphasizing the grade difference like this always seems to increase the sense of distance.

But Xiangzi realized that he didn't want to be like this.

"...That's rare." She smiled bitterly and shook her head, "Even though I've been deliberately keeping my distance from everyone all along."

When was the last time you were so close to someone?

Perhaps we should start from the disbandment of CRYCHIC. So, a year has passed so far.

During this time, I have almost gotten used to the feeling of keeping my distance from people.

This is true whether it is physical distance or distance in heart.

If you indulge in the kindness of others, you will become weak. If you become weak, you will no longer be able to maintain the self-esteem that you have worked so hard to maintain.

Perhaps it is because of thoughts like these that I choose to reject others' approach.

But why is Qiu Hui different...why do I seem to be not so repulsed by her?

While soaking in the hot water, Xiangzi was thinking about this problem quietly, and seemed to have almost forgotten to scoop water to rinse.

First of all, perhaps it was the series of unexpected events since we first met that made me lose my mind a little.

Just like a drowning person, he subconsciously wants to grab whatever he sees.

Secondly, perhaps it was Akie’s situation that gave me some sense of being a companion.

Especially the fact that she's still playing in a band makes me feel...very envious.

So, what about beyond that?

Maybe it’s because she, like me, seems to care about the “distance” between each other.

Xiangzi smiled silently.

This was also true when she was discussing the band earlier, with her respectful and businesslike attitude, like that of a customer service representative.

Like service personnel, they only appear when needed, do what they should do, subconsciously reject all other interactions, and only fulfill their obligations without asserting any rights.

This attitude was not like that of a high school student at all. But it was precisely this fact that made Xiangzi feel more relaxed than ever before.

After all, I am now living a life that is completely different from that of an ordinary high school student.

Thinking of this, Xiangzi felt that he roughly understood why Qiu Hui acted so out of control just now.

Although she was willing to let me stay overnight, Qiu Hui probably didn't really consider me a friend yet.

Therefore, one will feel at a loss as to what to do when the distance between people suddenly shortens, and will not know what attitude to adopt to deal with it.

It’s nice to think this way, Xiangzi thought with a smile.

Because I have actually worked in customer service, I understand that real service personnel will not and should not react to the attitude of customers. They should only exist as indifferent machine parts and serve their own purposes.

In other words, the fact that Qiu Hui is shaken by the status quo means that beneath her calm and aloof exterior, she also retains a delicate and sensitive inner self.

It’s great that she… still has these kinds of worries like a high school girl.

Thinking of this, Shoko Toyokawa suddenly had a strong urge.

I want to know more about Qiu Hui.

I want to know how she views the world and the relationships between people.

Xiangzi lowered his head slightly.

In order not to be crushed by reality, I tried to harden my heart.

In the face of pain, I choose to make myself as numb as possible. As long as I continue to experience more severe pain, perhaps I can get used to it faster.

But Akie... retained her soft inner structure and simply forged a layer of solid armor for it.

So, I would like to try to ask her if there is another solution...

……

After cleaning, Xiangzi stood up from the bathtub.

There was only one bath towel, so she took Akie's bath towel from the rack and dried herself.

After hanging the towel back on the rack, she opened the door and walked out in her current state.

Normally, she should wear pajamas, but unfortunately, Qiu Hui didn't seem to have any extra clothes available.

So, for comfort reasons, just don't wear anything.

She walked out of the bathroom and closed the door. At this moment, Xiangzi realized that she was actually not very willing to use her own bathroom.

Although there were showers there, many times she would rather walk a few more steps to the nearby public bathhouse.

"Oh." She sighed softly.

After all, that place only has the name of "home", but it can never give people the feeling of "home".

After turning right, she came to Qiu Hui's bed and noticed Qiu Hui, who was now resting her head on a pile of clothes, and the empty pillow next to her.

"Can I use a pillow?" she asked Akie.

"Ah, yes, I can use these clothes..."

Qiu Hui, who had been lying on the bed thinking about something, sat up and met Xiangzi's eyes as he walked out of the bathroom.

Then, quite suddenly, she began to cough, which made Xiangzi particularly puzzled. Could it be that I had the pathogen of the cold?

“Ahem! Why did you… come out like this?”

"Akie, didn't you say that if we don't have pajamas, we should just not wear them?"

Xiangzi lifted the quilt as if nothing had happened and crawled into his own half.

"I didn't say anything like that!" Akie, who for some reason suddenly began to protest, said as she turned sideways, with her back to Shoko who was trying to get into the bed, "At least you should put on your underwear...right?"

Her tone became quite uncertain, as if she herself was doubting the reliability of her own conclusion.

"But it's uncomfortable to wear it when sleeping." Xiangzi answered based on his own life experience, "Don't you think so, Akiie?"

After saying this, Xiangzi got up and went into bed.

Because the single bed was too narrow, even though Qiu Hui had intentionally provided enough space by turning sideways, friction and collision were still inevitable.

The wonderful touch that belonged purely to Toyokawa Shoko, without any other ingredients mixed in, was transmitted to the nervous system through the receptors all over the skin on Akihide's back, and then rushed into the brain after being distributed and reorganized by the spinal cord, causing a huge wave in Akihide's mind.

The reaction was so intense that Qiu Hui didn't even bother to pay attention to the subtle changes in the address.

"Come to think of it, Akihime, you're still wearing it now... don't you feel it's tight?" Xiangzi reached out and touched the shoulder strap of Akihime in front of him with some curiosity. "Considering the size, it should be very uncomfortable, right?"

"..."

Since Qiu Hui turned her face away and said nothing, Xiangzi didn't know what she was thinking.