Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

I can play the piano, know some music theory, and have experience in forming a band.

Although I know that being a signed artist in a commercial sense and being a band like CRYCHIC that is formed simply to realize one's own ideas are completely different things.

But... maybe...

Xiangzi closed his eyes in pain.

……No.

I can not do it.

If the goal is to achieve commercial success... then my current strength is far from enough.

and……

and.

If I were to form a new band again.

To everyone at CRYCHIC...especially to the lamp...

...Isn't this...too much?

Chapter 101 I Have a Friend

Qiu Hui returned to her seat, placed the two bottles of mineral water she had just bought on the table, and pushed one of them next to Xiangzi.

She was lying on the table, thinking about something. Qiu Hui didn't want to disturb her now, so she just planned to wait quietly for her to recover.

"..."

After a while, Xiangzi continued to lie on the table, reached out and grasped the bottle of mineral water handed to him by Qiu Hui, but was hesitant to pick it up and drink it.

For the next period of time, she continued to maintain this strange posture of holding the bottle and lying motionless, so even Qiu Hui couldn't help but ask questions.

"What are you thinking about, Xiangzi-san?"

"……nothing."

Xiangzi sat up, unscrewed the bottle cap and took a big sip.

"She is now..."

Xiangzi hesitated and shook his head.

"…It's okay, just pretend I never said anything."

Looking at Xiangzi who had given up speaking, Qiu Hui thought for a moment and then said, "Although there are still various problems to be solved for the new band, I think that the current lights... can at least try to move forward."

"Really?" Xiangzi nodded, with a hint of loneliness in his eyes, "...That's good."

She gave off a slightly gloomy aura, which made Qiu Hui feel a little heavy.

"...By the way. Akie, I have a question for you."

As Xiangzi spoke, he sipped the mineral water in front of him bit by bit as if he was tasting wine.

"Then just ask directly. I won't mind even if it's a question that's inconvenient to answer," Qiu Hui responded.

After receiving such assurance, Xiangzi seemed to be relieved. She turned around and asked, "Akiu, are you still a supporting musician in Deng's band?"

"Yeah." Qiu Hui nodded, "I guess I'll continue to be the official, right? After all, I haven't been able to find a suitable official candidate."

"That's it."

Xiangzi frowned slightly, seeming a little confused.

"…Why?" she asked. "You have to write a book, go to school, and join a commercial band that you've officially signed. You must be very busy, right?"

"It's true that I'm busy..." Qiu Hui's cheeks blushed slightly, "But, in a sense, I don't consider helping out there as a job."

"So, you just see it as just playing with friends?" Shoko smiled gently, "It seems that Akie and Deng have a really good relationship."

There were several complex emotions in her eyes, perhaps some relief, perhaps some jealousy, or perhaps some helplessness and melancholy.

Although Akie did not notice Xiangzi's complicated feelings, the latter's words still made her feel a little embarrassed.

"Well...indeed, that's right." Akie's face turned even redder.

This is a lie. Although I am somewhat concerned about Deng, the main reason is actually Aine.

It’s embarrassing to tell a lie, but I can’t just tell Xiangzi, “I helped her because of Aine,” right?

Qiu Hui held her head with one hand to hide her red cheeks, and her eyes looked a little uncertain.

Oh, right. She suddenly thought of something.

Xiangzi and Aine don’t have a close relationship, but she can still talk to me.

Maybe... I could try to talk to her... indirectly about my thoughts on Aine?

Thinking of this, she said directly: "Xiangzi, I just remembered something. I'm struggling with it recently. I wonder if I can talk to you about it."

"What's wrong?" Xiangzi's interest was slightly piqued.

After noticing the other party's attitude, Qiu Hui made up her mind and said, "In short, I have a friend..."

A classic opening move. But as soon as she said it, she regretted it.

To just pick myself off so cleanly and neatly would be a bit... too shameless.

"Ahem. Actually, this is what happened. My friend, she treated me..."

I can't completely distance myself from it, but I'm too embarrassed to just state it as it is...

"...I feel like...she's a little over-dependent. Although we're pretty good friends, she's a little too clingy and always pesters me. How should I put it, I even wonder if she has some... "

...So, Qiu Hui switched the positions of both parties.

"…The idea of ​​'going beyond friendship'."

After saying that, Qiu Hui lowered her head slightly.

Actually, I’m the one who always wants to pester Aine.

"Beyond friendship?" Xiangzi was a little surprised. "It's hard, could it be that kind of..."

"That's the kind." Akie sighed, "between women."

Xiangzi leaned in slightly, showing some interest, and said, "So, Akie, what do you think of this friend? Do you feel this way about her?"

Qiu Hui shook her head: "I... don't know."

I really do not know.

How would Aiyin view me now, and how would she view my current feelings for her? Would she choose to accept, tolerate, turn a blind eye, or stay away from me from now on...

...I don’t know any of this.

"I see." Xiangzi nodded, "I think it's best to clearly convey your position to the other party..."

When she said this, she frowned, as if she was thinking of something unpleasant.

"I've had a similar experience," she said. "Someone was overly dependent on me and kept pestering me. I've already made it clear that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore..."

After saying that, Xiangzi sighed helplessly: "But she always seems to insist on her own views one-sidedly. To be honest, it's very disturbing."

"If someone has been told that but still refuses to give up, then... it might be really troubling," Akie agreed.

Then, should I just tell Aine everything directly?

If you are accepted, then everyone is happy. If you are rejected, then...get rid of those inappropriate thoughts as soon as possible?

If you think about it carefully, this is indeed... not very realistic.

Qiu Hui doesn't think that she can accept unpleasant results with such a casual attitude now.

Moreover, if you express your thoughts, the current stable relationship may be destroyed.

So...it's better...to take a long-term view?

At this time, Xiangzi continued to speak and expressed his own views.

"Akie, if you want me to give you some advice, I think it would be better to first clarify your own thoughts and then clearly tell the other party about them."

Xiangzi showed a serious expression and expressed his suggestions in a very serious manner.

"I think if the other person really likes you, they will respect your thoughts and opinions."

"...Yes." Akie nodded.

I...should respect Aine's thoughts and opinions.

But, if she thinks it's better for me to give up my current idea...

After a fierce inner struggle, Qiu Hui decided to take a long-term view.

I have to respect Aine's thoughts...

...However, as long as I remain restrained, do not provoke her to express her opinion, and do not inquire about her thoughts, I will never know her true attitude.

Then, I can take it for granted...

Realizing that she was thinking about something a little despicable, Akie sighed helplessly.

Chapter 102: Things that cannot be carried

"Thank you, Xiangzi-san. I will think about it carefully."

After listening to Xiangzi's advice, Qiu Hui came to the conclusion that it would be better to continue to exercise restraint and take a long-term view.

After all, from the first day I met Aine to now, only about half a semester has passed.

I still have nearly two more school years before graduation, which means that I still have a lot of time to spend with Aine in the future...

...So, there is no need to rush.

Qiu Hui took a sip of water and outlined her future plans in her mind.

Next, I will continue to be a support musician for the band, and build up an emotional foundation little by little in the process of getting along with each other.

Some things may need to be clarified when the time is right...

……

As Akie was thinking about herself and Aine, she didn't notice.

Xiangzi, who was beside her, was quietly looking at her profile.

Looking at her holding her cheek and thinking quietly, Shoko's mind unconsciously reappeared the face of Nagasaki Motoyo.

Why can't she be like Qiu Hui and listen to others carefully?

Xiangzi made a bitter face and drank the mineral water in front of him with the same vigor as if he were drinking alcohol.

She left the band without explaining the reason, which eventually led to the fall of CRYCHIC.

For this reason, she felt guilty towards Deng; but for Nagasaki Suyo, this guilt had long turned into annoyance because of the other party's persistent pestering.

From the beginning to the end, she only believed what she believed. Even if I told her everything clearly, she would just pretend not to hear it.

Thinking of this, Xiangzi couldn't help but sigh.

"What's wrong?" asked Qiu Hui beside him.

"Nothing." Xiangzi replied sadly, "Let's talk about something else."

With a bottle of mineral water and the starless night sky outside the window, the two chatted about various topics related to the trivialities of life.

Work, housework, the economic situation, in short, these are all things that you can't talk about with an ordinary high school girl.

But for two people who are in similar situations, just chatting about these things is enough to spend a lot of happy time.

after a while.

“…Almost.”

Xiangzi stood up and nodded slightly to Qiu Hui.

"I have something else to do later, so I won't bother you for now."

"Well, take care. Goodbye."

Looking at the smiling Qiu Hui, Xiangzi suddenly felt an impulse.