Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

The sensibility of the lamp is too delicate and complex. What may not seem like a big deal to ordinary people may become extremely heavy in her eyes in a way that ordinary people cannot understand.

Because of my impulsiveness, Akira's case may have become as troublesome as an unexploded bomb...

Qiu Hui frowned slightly and fell into distress.

How should I tell her better?

Chapter 111: A Free Journey with No End

"lamp."

After Qiu Hui quickly finished the drink in front of her, she took the initiative to call out Deng's name.

The tone used was so heavy that it was a little inappropriate, as if it would be followed by a difficult decision like "choose between father and mother after divorce". However, because it was completely unrelated to the atmosphere of the previous chat, it seemed a bit exaggerated for comedy effect.

"……What's wrong?"

Deng said in his usual cautious tone.

Qiu Hui then realized that her attitude was a little inappropriate. Deng didn't know what she was thinking just now, but she was always very sensitive to other people's expressions and tones. Maybe she would mistakenly think that she had done something wrong again?

She did nothing wrong, it was me who was wrong.

However, even though I had made this determination in advance, I was actually not sure how to remedy the situation.

But while thinking about this, Qiu Hui suddenly had a vague plan.

Although she had not thought through the cause, process and result, she was still driven by this thought and spoke rashly.

"Nothing. I was just thinking, since you took me to the planetarium just now, should I take you to some place I like to go as a response?"

Qiu Hui said this, holding her chin with her hand, trying to think of a suitable place.

Bring a light to a place that is very important to me, and then talk about my bitter and sweet past first, and then tell the other person my thoughts according to the atmosphere...

Anyway, somehow, I suddenly came up with this plan that was like a Galgame confession scene.

Regardless of whether this plan is feasible or not...

"Really?" Deng's eyes lit up, "Then, where are we going?"

Deng's question immediately made Qiu Hui realize with some embarrassment that the first step of this plan seemed to be subtly not working.

Do I have any...any places I like to go? I don't think so. My hobby is just wandering around aimlessly. I can't remember where I went...

"Oh yeah... where should we go?" Qiu Hui sighed.

Facing the somewhat confused Deng, she continued to explain in a slightly apologetic tone: "Sorry, I said that in a rush. I'm usually an indoor person, and I don't specifically decide on a destination when I go out to relax occasionally..."

If someone asks me where I'm going, I will answer "wherever".

This indecisive look might unexpectedly irritate others when you are planning to go out with them...

But, to Qiu Hui's surprise, Deng did not show any dissatisfaction at all.

On the contrary, she seemed to be suddenly interested and asked eagerly, "In other words, we'll stop wherever we want to go, and we care more about the scenery along the way than the destination..."

"Let me correct myself. I only care about the scenery along the way when I think about it." Akie responded subconsciously, "Most of the time, I just keep moving forward with an empty mind. How should I put it? It's like I'm lost..."

"Yes!" Deng's eyes lit up, "It's like getting lost!"

Like a child seeing a favorite toy, her eyes revealed pure joy.

Why did he get excited? Qiu Hui was a little confused.

I thought it was just a weird hobby that only I had...

…This thought only lasted about two seconds. After two seconds, Qiu Hui realized that there was something wrong with her idea.

Am I being a little prejudiced when I use ordinary people's standards to evaluate lamps?

"Does Deng like that?" Akihime asked, a little touched. "I thought it was strange to have such thoughts."

If you decide to spend time and energy to go somewhere, it must be because there is a purpose that must be achieved there. Even if it is just for "relaxation", then "relaxation" itself is also a purpose... This is the normal way of thinking.

Finding the most convenient and legal way to reach the destination may be the correct value orientation. In contrast, not only does not pursue efficiency, but even abandons the "destination" itself, which can be said to be contrary to the correct approach, or it can be said that it is a behavior of a different dimension.

However, there may be a gap between the thoughts of Deng and those of ordinary people, which is even a different dimension.

So, Qiu Hui wanted to ask Deng's opinion.

In response to her question, Deng Ye showed a strong desire to express himself as if he had found a rare person to talk to.

"Yeah. I actually really want to be in the state that Akihime just described." She stood up, clenched her fists slightly, and expressed her thoughts with some excitement, "Because, I can't really tell where I want to go or what I want. So all I can do is keep moving forward... and stop when I see something that interests me."

Qiu Hui nodded. "It's just like collecting stones. After all, there is no stone illustration book that can tell us where to find stones of what shape. So, we can only pay more attention to every possible place where they may appear, and collect them when we see interesting shapes. Am I right?"

"I think... maybe... that's it." Deng nodded in confusion, "I... never thought it could be understood this way."

"Okay, if that's the case..."

Qiu Hui also stood up, picked up her unfinished drink, and motioned the light to look in a certain direction.

"Let's go, let's go over there. I don't know what's over there, but anyway, let's talk while walking until we encounter something noteworthy..."

This couldn't have been a worse travel arrangement.

If someone dares to go out with his or her lover in this way, it is easy to imagine how bleak the future of his or her relationship is.

But... because the other party is a lamp, so... maybe it will work unexpectedly.

Because the other person is my reader and can appreciate the text mixed with my subjective thoughts, so his or her way of thinking is similar to mine in some aspects?

"…If you come across something that interests you, how about just stopping there?"

Qiu Hui proposed such a hasty arrangement.

"……Um!"

Deng accepted it with pleasure, as excited as a primary school student preparing to go on a field trip.

Seeing her expression, Qiu Hui smiled with a little relief.

I still don't know how to confess to Deng.

Because I was afraid that my wishful thinking based on one-sided thoughts might hurt Deng's ideas.

In this situation, what I should do is neither do nothing for fear of adverse consequences, nor do I act on my own regardless of the consequences.

First, through communication, try to understand Deng's views on Qiu Rongzi, and then based on this, consider the next step...

...Maybe this would be better.

Chapter 112: Pure Fiction

Starting from the open space in front of the cafe, followed by the sidewalk on the street.

Pass under the colorful signs and the woven power lines that weave through the air, and escape into the narrow alleys between residential buildings.

After coming out from the other side, the view suddenly became clear, but the scene in front of me was no different from the other side of the alley, making people wonder if they had returned to the original place.

"It turns out that everywhere in the city is the same." Qiu Hui sighed, "But I actually like this."

Deng tilted his head slightly, as if waiting for her next words.

"Neat asphalt roads, densely packed buildings; whenever you feel thirsty, you can always buy drinks from roadside vending machines. I'm fascinated by the feeling of being in a familiar and friendly environment. So, surprisingly, I hate activities like picnics." Qiu Hui smiled.

"Akie-senpai, don't you like picnics?"

"Well, I don't like it. Because, unlike Deng, I can't find the fun hidden in the subtleties of the natural environment. In my opinion, all trees are trees, and all flowers and plants are the same kind of flowers and plants. At most, there are slight differences in color and shape, but in essence, they are all the same kind of things."

“I’m not good at feeling the details.”

When she said this, Akie lowered her head a little ashamed.

"In this regard, you and I are completely different... and also completely different from Akira."

As she spoke, she unconsciously tugged at the corner of her clothes.

She felt a little uncomfortable describing herself in such a schizophrenic way.

"I think she has an artistic temperament. She is sensitive and paranoid about many issues. She is good at digging out the highlights in the details and is unexpectedly serious about small things. But I am different. I am actually... a very vulgar and rough person."

Akie continued, sighing softly.

“So I envy her.”

She said this as if there really was such a person as Qiu Rangzi.

Deng listened quietly, his hands placed in front of him.

"Akie-senpai, you know Akiho-sensei very well," she said.

"That's for sure..." Akie raised her head, "...We have been friends for many years. I have watched her grow up since she was a child, and I often feel that we are the same person sometimes."

What Qiu Hui didn't notice was that when she said the last word, Deng quietly turned her head and glanced at her.

"I have a question for Akiie-senpai."

At this moment, Deng suddenly spoke.

"What do you want to ask?"

"Akihoko-sensei... have you ever had an imaginary friend like 'M-chan'?"

This problem with the light made Qiu Hui shudder as if she was struck by static electricity.

Fantasy friends?

Come to think of it... doesn't my creation of a fictional personality called "Akirako" fit the definition of an imaginary friend?

"…Maybe." Akie smiled.

Deng's question also made Qiu Hui realize something.

If it was just to hide my identity from Deng, then I was a little too active in "playing the role of Aki Ryouko".

How should I put it... Maybe I was unexpectedly enjoying it?

"It is as expected!" Deng smiled with some surprise.

But Deng's surprise made Qiu Hui feel a little uneasy.

"Deng is very happy," she said. "The author wrote about the emotions that she herself felt in the novel, and Deng really thinks that this is better."

After all, the lamp itself is like that.

Write down your inner cry into lyrics, and then sing it out with your own voice.

Just like the protagonist of the Wang Dao story, he has the halo of being able to solve all problems with sincere emotions. He never bothers to think about factors such as the market or the audience, but simply attracts those who will be attracted naturally.

Does Deng think that Aki Ryouko is the same kind of person as himself, and that is why he loves her work so sincerely?

But...Qiu Rangzi, or rather, I can't do it like her.

Because, I need a large enough audience to sustain myself.

I don't have the talent to get enough support even if I write in such a self-willed way.

Worried about this question, Qiu Hui continued to listen to Deng's response.

"I do think that would be better." Deng smiled and said, "Ms. Shiina in the book is burdened with too many prejudices against herself because of her introverted and inferior personality, so she imagined the existence of M-chan and placed those things that she longed for but could not get on her."

After saying that, Deng turned around and met Qiu Hui's eyes.

"Is Akiho-sensei like this too?"

Qiu Hui remained silent. She tried hard to think about how to respond appropriately.

"...Maybe." After a long silence, she nodded weakly.

At this time, the two walked past a roadside tree with a few withered flowers hanging on it. The withered and shriveled pale pink petals fell down, reminding Qiu Hui of cherry blossoms...

...It's almost August, where are the cherry blossoms? So I'm a rough person, I can get even such superficial details wrong.

The lamp stopped under the tree where a few dried flowers remained, then squatted down and observed the falling petals.

"…There are asphalt roads everywhere here." Deng reached out and picked up the dried petals. "If they can't fall into the soil, what will be the final fate of these flowers?"

"They will probably be collected after being cleaned up by sanitation workers."

Qiu Hui also squatted down beside Deng.

"It will then be processed as organic waste and maybe used as compost?"