Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Aine suddenly shook her head vigorously as if she had made up her mind.

"...Akie."

The sudden change in address startled Qiu Hui.

The turmoil in her heart was reflected in the outstretched hand, and then transmitted to Aine’s heart through the medium of touch.

"Xiao Deng told me that if you feel confused, maybe you can give it a try for a while. If there is a suitable opportunity, you may come up with new ideas."

"Perhaps, the things that Akihime talked about at the dinner table just now could be the right opportunity."

Aine tightened her grip on Akie’s hand slightly.

"I...I don't want to dwell on such boring questions as 'like it or not' anymore."

"Possessiveness, exclusivity, lifelong commitment, these messed up things... I really don't want to care about them at all."

"Right now, I only know one thing, that is, Qiu Hui is suffering because of what happened to me."

"Leaving home, living alone, and relying on your own work to support yourself. I've never worked before... so I don't know what it feels like. But I think it must be... very uncomfortable, right?"

Under the moonlight, Akie felt that she could vaguely make out Aine's slightly moist pupils.

Akie habitually denied this: "...Nothing like that. It was just difficult at the beginning, but it gradually became easier later..."

"Akie, you're trying to be brave again."

Aine extended her other hand.

"I actually know. I went abroad to study, and I failed and came back."

"In an unfamiliar environment, doing unfamiliar things. Friends and family are not around, and I am alone facing all kinds of difficulties and troubles..."

"This feeling is really terrible. That's why I run away because I can't stand it."

“…But, Akie, you…didn’t run away. You persisted from that time until now, right?”

Qiu Hui nodded slightly in silence.

This is an objective fact and she has no intention of denying it.

"How long has it been since you ran away from home?"

"From the third year of junior high school to now, it's been about two years."

"Two years..."

Aiyin couldn't help but laugh out loud.

“…It’s been too long.”

"I noticed it when I first met Akie. Akie doesn't have many friends at school, right?"

"I broke up with my family and had no friends. I spent two years in this environment..."

“…So, Akie subconsciously feels that her feelings are insignificant and not worth anyone’s worry?”

"If that's the case, I'm afraid Akie's idea will backfire."

"The more Akie thinks like this... the more worried I will become."

Aine suddenly opened her own blanket and approached Akie.

Without waiting for Qiu Hui to react, she slid into the quilt on Qiu Hui's side, then reached out and hugged Qiu Hui in her arms.

"Whether you like it or not... I don't want to care anymore."

"Promise me, Qiu Hui, you will... stop thinking about these things, okay?"

Chapter 71: No More Worry

Don’t think about who I like and who likes me.

Don't think about what I should pay for whom.

"Is this really okay?"

Qiu Hui muttered to herself.

Having said that, her body had already responded as it should.

Facing Aiyin who took the initiative to embrace her, she also stretched out her hand and actively responded.

The bodies of the two fit together like gears. But unlike gears, the soft parts of both parties can be molded into shapes that fit each other's wishes.

“Of course it’s no problem.” Aine closed her eyes and said with a smile.

The two of them were already too close to each other, so close that the moonlight could not even illuminate each other's faces.

But at this point, they actually don't need to rely on binocular vision to perceive each other.

Therefore, Qiu Hui simply closed her eyes.

“Aine, do you think I’m showing off?” She sighed softly.

“You’re just trying to be strong.” Aine whispered, “You said before that you didn’t want to make Goto-san sad, so even though you knew you didn’t have any special feelings for her, you still catered to her needs.”

"You also wanted to consider my feelings. So after I rejected you, you said nothing, did nothing, and just quietly prepared to leave."

"Akie, you always don't want to hurt anyone... except yourself."

"Why can't you try to think about your own affairs for a moment?"

"Me...myself?"

Qiu Hui was silent for a moment, somewhat confused.

"Yes. Akie, what exactly do you want?"

Aine loosened her arms around Akie and stepped back slightly, but still remained inside Akie's blanket.

She reached out her hand and subconsciously touched her face, feeling that it was unusually hot.

Akie opened her eyes and looked at Aine’s face, which was faintly illuminated by the moonlight.

However, because the light was too dim, she couldn’t see the expression on Aine’s face at that moment.

"I think……"

Qiu Hui took a deep breath and then let it out slowly.

The words that were about to come out of her mouth were swallowed back because she felt they were inappropriate.

She then said, “…There is one thing you are right about, Aine.”

Aine listened quietly, waiting for Akie's next words.

"After those two years, I may have really gotten used to the feeling of hurting myself."

"Because it has become a habit, so...I don't know what I should do if I find true happiness."

"If someone is going to get hurt, then as long as that person is me, the problem is finally solved. Because I can give up the responsibility of hurting myself. This not only saves the energy of thinking about countermeasures, but also brings a kind of martyrdom-like, inexplicable sense of self-satisfaction."

"I always thought that this was enough. This was how I was being responsible."

"But……"

At this moment, Aine instinctively moved a little closer to Akie.

She was originally shy because of the long hug, so she stepped back a little; but now, as if she could sense the hesitation in Qiu Hui's heart, she came closer, as if she wanted to convey courage to her.

“If you only hurt yourself, it’s not responsible at all.” Aine said impatiently, “Akie doesn’t have a good relationship with her family, and she didn’t make any friends before she started the band because of work, so she probably had this idea.”

The words were very straightforward. But Aine believed that right now, she should explain the problem in the most straightforward way.

Togawa Aie is a person who is too good at being roundabout and compromising. Therefore, to deal with her, it is necessary to use the most direct and sincere means, right?

“…That’s right.” Akie nodded slowly, “What Aine said just now made me realize that.”

I rely on hurting myself to avoid hurting others. I think this is a universal shortcut, so I have always relied on this method to solve problems.

Maybe, when I'm alone, it's perfectly fine to do so.

However, as I have more and more friends, more and more partners who are traveling together with me...

"...If I hurt myself, I would be hurting the people who care about me."

Qiu Hui gave a bitter smile.

"So, maybe I have been subconsciously convincing myself that no one cares about me. I am just a part of everyone's life that is nice to have but doesn't matter if they don't have it."

She recalled something that happened some time ago.

"Aine, do you remember? When you were depressed because of Rakuna's matter," she said, "During that time, I kept doubting whether I was that important to Aine, and whether I had the right to interfere."

"Like this. I wishfully thought that as long as no one in this world stood with me... I would not betray anyone."

"So, when Ichiri suddenly confessed to me, I was actually... scared."

"There are actually people in this world who like a guy like me. There are actually people who care about my feelings..."

“…So, I don’t know what to do.”

Akie lowered her head, and Aine reached out her hand and gently stroked a strand of Akie's black hair.

“If, you don’t know what to do, just try to move forward the way you want.” Aine said with a smile, “Teng-chan would definitely say that.”

"...Yeah." Akie smiled, "If it's a light... maybe I should really try it like this."

Although the other party might not be able to see clearly in the dark, Qiu Hui's expression became firm.

“Aine, I have two things to ask of you.”

"Go ahead?"

"First, after the training session is over and before the official performance, I hope you can accompany me to meet Ichiri once."

“Uh… ahaha, this seems like a rather bad proposal.” Aine quickly realized Akie’s true meaning and laughed out loud.

"But, I'm glad that Akie is now able to come up with such a bad proposal."

Aiyin's feelings were a little complicated, but overall she was mostly relieved.

Although things were developing in a slightly strange direction, at least Qiu Hui didn't continue to dwell on it.

Aiyin was already very happy to have such a result.

As for whether I like Qiu Hui... at this point, is there any point in worrying about this kind of thing?

"..."

Qiu Hui clenched her fists somewhat embarrassedly.

"...And the second thing."

Her voice became smaller and smaller.

Aine didn't say anything this time, but just waited for her quietly.

In the end, Qiu Hui still said nothing.

She quickly approached Aine, using actions instead of words to pry open Aine’s slightly lax defense and entangle with her.

They began to converse in a way without words, and the moist and thick echoes of this conversation echoed around the bedding.

Chapter 72: What’s going on?

Shiina Riki was not asleep.

This may be because she has been busy preparing for performances recently and often stays up late to compose music.

After getting used to this schedule, falling asleep early becomes a challenge.

She had planned to continue to work late tonight according to her usual pace of life. However, after Deng stopped her, in order not to worry him, she could only get into bed obediently and at least pretend to have a healthy schedule.

At this moment, Li Xi was not only not sleepy, but could even be said to be exceptionally awake.

Su Shi slept on her right side, lying on her side facing the wall, while Lenai slept on her left side. Unlike her noisy appearance during the day, she was actually very quiet after falling asleep.

Li Xi, who was sandwiched between the two, suddenly had a very strange feeling.

Is this what the so-called training camp is all about?

Although she had no interest in playing at the beach, she still joined in at everyone's invitation.