Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Qiu Hui has such confidence that she becomes a little unscrupulous in front of Su Shi.

Come to think of it, when did I become like this and have the urge to mess around like this?

If I was just preparing to form a band...even if I knew the other party didn't care, I would try to be cautious.

Qiu Hui thought about this and couldn't help but feel a lot of emotion.

The time I've been with you all seems to have changed me.

"..."

Su Shi took a sip of tea to calm herself down.

"...As you wish."

She let out a long sigh.

She even had to admit that Qiu Hui's almost far-fetched statement did seem to make some sense.

In this overly luxurious and spacious suite, even the sound of a quarrel seemed quite pleasant to the ears.

Even if it's just a guy I don't know very well and who always deliberately irritates me...

...It's better than being alone, even if it's just a little bit.

"...Anyway, let's talk about something else." Akie looked around, "Talk about something you might not like."

"Why isn't it something I like to talk about?" Su Shi was so angry that she laughed.

"Because, there is something that has been bothering me since a while ago." Akie confessed, "We have been talking for such a long time, but the fourth person has not appeared yet. Could it be that, Sushi, you usually live alone?"

She had noticed it when she entered the room.

Generally speaking, when it’s about this time, when children go home with their friends, it’s usually the parents who come out to greet them. Just like the last time I went to Goto’s house to discuss the lyrics with Ichiri.

However, after chatting for such a long time, the person who looked like Su Shi’s parent still did not show up.

Thinking about her own situation, Qiu Hui naturally asked this question.

"..."

Su Shi was silent for a moment.

"...No." She shook her head, "But my mother is busy with work and rarely comes home to stay. Even if she does come back sometimes, she will stay out very late."

"I see." Qiu Hui nodded, "So, you're alone at home most of the time."

"...By the way, you seemed to have mentioned during the training camp that you rented a house and lived alone." Su Shi's tone softened a little, "Are your parents... also busy at work?"

"They are quite busy, I guess." Akie nodded. "A lot of the time, they are not even in Japan. But that's just fine..."

"What's just right?"

"It's convenient for me to sneak out of the house." Qiu Hui said something quite shocking, "I ran away from home, and I'm still running away from home now, so I live alone."

She spoke nonchalantly, as if she was just saying something like "I went downstairs to buy a can of Coke."

"Leave home...run away?" Su Shi widened his eyes.

Mu, who was standing aside, also had a strange look on his face.

"What's going on?" She was also very curious.

"We had a conflict." Qiu Hui explained simply, "Now that I think about it, the cause may have been just some inexplicable little things, but slowly it became irreversible. Now that things have come to this, it would be strange for me to go back and apologize. Besides, I can make a living by working now, so... that's it."

Although she was the one who brought up the topic, she was actually reluctant to talk more about these things.

"Really..." Su Shi nodded thoughtfully.

"Although it's not very pleasant, we do have a common topic in this regard." Akie smiled, "In terms of 'being alone'."

"..."

The look in Su Shi's eyes when he looked at Qiu Hui became a little softer.

"...Actually, I have a feeling."

Su Shi picked up the teacup and took a sip.

"Akiuchi, you seem to have changed a lot."

"You have always maintained a businesslike attitude. You only regard my affairs as 'true'."

"Why, at this point, you suddenly care so much about my affairs that you even want to follow me all the way here?"

Qiu Hui leaned back in her chair and subconsciously adjusted her glasses.

"When I first met you, I felt that you were a little too pretentious and unnatural."

"Especially the sound...you squeezed too hard."

"I feel like you're hiding something, maybe some strange intention, but I'm never sure."

"So, during the time I was in the band, I actually... never had any plans to get close to you."

"but."

Qiu Hui put the teacup down and tapped it lightly on the table.

"Now I know."

“You and Aine formed this new band and hired me to help. This was just a preparation for rebuilding CRYCHIC.”

"Your plan really failed, because you never really considered Xiangzi's thoughts, and just acted according to your own assumptions."

"To be honest, I can understand why you miss CRYCHIC now."

"You and I, we are probably both too used to being alone... That's why we especially cherish partnerships like this one that we built from scratch."

Su Shi closed his eyes and shook his head gently.

“…You think so.”

Qiu Hui took another sip of tea and continued, "Having said that, although I understand you and don't want you to keep kneeling on the ground, there are some things that can't just be left alone."

“I think you should call Aine and the others and apologize…”

"Who said I should apologize?"

Su Shi raised his eyebrows slightly and smiled with some contempt.

"Akie-senpai, you seem to have forgotten yourself a little bit."

"Even if we have something in common, it doesn't mean I have to obey you."

Su Shi smiled and shook his head, and his expression immediately became stiff.

"...That band has no meaning to me anymore. Akie should know that."

"You want me to apologize to them... That's not impossible. But, even so, I won't go back to that band."

Chapter 105: Remaining Obsession

"...You don't plan to go back?" Akie paused slightly.

"Yeah." Su Shi nodded, "There's no point in me going back to that band."

Su Shi's expression looked firm and unquestionable. She seemed ready to debate this issue all night.

Qiu Hui also noticed this through the other person's eyes.

"Do you really think so?" she asked, "Or... let me give you a hypothetical example. For example, you are just afraid that what you did is too much for them, too much to be forgiven by them, so you convince yourself to accept the current situation?"

As Qiu Hui spoke, she observed the changes in Su Shi's expression very carefully.

She noticed Su Shi's eyes evaded for a moment, and the anger that followed, as if to cover up all the previous hesitation.

"Please don't speculate on other people's thoughts without authorization." Su Shi frowned and said, "I formed that band in order to rebuild CRYCHIC, and now there is no hope for the reconstruction of CRYCHIC, so that band is meaningless to me... Isn't it easy to understand?"

Qiu Hui shook her head slightly: "It seems that CRYCHIC is really important to you."

"...That's only natural."

Sushi sighed.

"My parents... separated very early. I lived with my mother after that."

Instead of continuing to rub her fingers, she spread her hands out and placed them in front of her.

"She's very busy with work. So she doesn't have much time to spend with me...or rather, I'm the one who spends most of the time with her."

Su Shi smiled helplessly. Her smile now was very natural, which was quite different from the previous situation.

Qiu Hui looked around and said, "This suite is really amazing. It looks like a high-end hotel. Is your mother probably... a middle or senior manager of a company?"

"I think so. Qiu Hui actually guessed it." Su Shi said in surprise.

"There's no end to the work in this kind of position." Qiu Hui smiled and shook her head. "The salary is high, but I don't have the energy to spend the money. It's quite contradictory."

"Yeah, it's very contradictory."

Su Shi smiled and lowered his head.

"She loves me very much, but... I think she doesn't know what to do. She has a career to take care of. In this dilemma, maybe she can only compensate me with money."

"We moved here quickly, to a luxurious penthouse, and then she sent me to Tsuki no Mori... It's a very good school, but..."

“…But there must be a lot of inexplicable rules, right?” Akie interrupted.

"It can't really be called a rule." Su Shi shook her head. "I was transferred here temporarily, so... I need to spend some time to really integrate into the place. Everyone in Tsuki no Mori is a very nice person, but... some things that seem natural to them may not be so easy for me to accept."

Su Shi chose his words carefully.

"Many times, perhaps because I didn't do well, I was sometimes misunderstood by everyone..."

Su Shi's statement was very tactful, but Qiu Hui felt that perhaps it could be said more directly.

"Or to put it another way." Akie said bluntly, "You can't fit in with those... uh, noble ladies' circles, so you are more or less excluded. Can I say that?"

"Huh?" Su Shi was surprised. "I... I have never... thought about it this way."

Although she said she hadn't thought about it, her expression betrayed her thoughts. At least she didn't think Qiu Hui's statement was completely unreasonable.

"Perhaps I was indeed excluded to some extent. That is why I feel that the time I spent in CRYCHIC was...very valuable."

Su Shi said softly, reaching out to grasp the pull ring of the teacup.

"...Xiao Xiang said that the band is a 'community of destiny'. Although I have participated in the band of Tsuki no Mori, the band...is different from that."

"An orchestra is just a place where everyone works together to perform. But CRYCHIC is a partnership that is even closer than that."

"I... hope I can go back to that time. We were all so close, practicing hard together, spending time together..."

Looking at Su Shi who was immersed in memories, Qiu Hui couldn't help but want to ask: "If that's the case, then that new band won't work?"

"It's different." Su Shi shook his head slowly, "I know you will ask me this. But, really, it's different."

What exactly is the difference?

In fact, she herself might not be able to explain it clearly.

"Will it not work if Xiangzi is not here?" Qiu Hui sighed as if talking to herself.

"...I didn't say that." Su Shi was a little dissatisfied, but her reaction didn't seem as intense as at the beginning. "Please don't make any inferences."

"Well, anyway, thank you for telling me this."

Qiu Hui took a sip of tea and suddenly thought of another thing.

"By the way, Wakaba-san."

Mu didn't say anything, just looked over.

"Do you really think that you've never been happy at CRYCHIC?" Qiu Hui asked.

"… Xiang invited me, so I came."

Mu just said this, as if answering a question that was irrelevant.

"Xiao Mu and Xiao Xiang, you two are childhood playmates, right?" Su Shi said in a jealous whisper, "Even without CRYCHIC, you guys still have a good relationship."

Mu didn't answer, just lowered his head.

Her expression didn't look very happy, and I didn't know whether it was a tacit agreement or a silent denial.