Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

What is the reason for this inexplicable joy rising in my heart at this moment?

She silently organized her thoughts.

Because of that incident, I left the band and transferred to Yuqiu.

Dealing with countless trivialities of life, trying hard to find a job that even high school girls can do, wasting my energy on boring food, clothing, housing and transportation; and all the things I once had during my years studying in Tsukinomori, except for my meaningless self-esteem, are now nothing left.

Although I know that this cannot be helped, and that this is the status quo that I have to accept, but...if I can really accept all of this without complaint...

…Can they still be called “human beings”?

Toyokawa Shoko clenched her fists silently.

It has been more than a year since then.

Although I still feel pain from time to time, even the ability to feel this pain seems to be disappearing little by little as time goes by.

We can't let this continue.

Because this "pain" is the only thing left by the former Toyokawa Shoko.

And this pain drives me to act.

It tells me that it doesn’t matter where I go, as long as I can leave where I’m standing.

Having said that, how is it possible to move forward without direction?

So I longed in vain for someone to tell me what to do next...

…Then I saw her appear.

Toyokawa Shoko stared at Akie's face.

Today, she wore no makeup at all. Her hair was a little split, and she looked a little haggard, as if she was being pushed by the pressure of life.

I don't know what Togawa-senpai's real situation is like. But at least, I can feel that she is definitely not the kind of carefree female student, but someone who is carrying some kind of pressure and working hard to move forward.

Togawa-senpai like this...

…but they are playing in a “band”.

This fact was so striking that Toyokawa Shoko could hardly suppress her impulse.

Unlike me who gave up everything, you waved the flag of opposition in the face of reality.

Can you help me like this?

Can you guide me?

Can you tell me what to do next?

...It's really too much to ask this kind of thing of someone you've just met, Xiangzi smiled bitterly in his heart.

So, I want to be closer to Togawa-senpai.

Because I was confused and at a loss, I instinctively wanted to get closer to the light when I saw it...

……correct.

Speaking of which.

Have I ever been the "light" of some people like this?

"Togawa-senpai." Shoko suddenly spoke.

"Huh? What's wrong?" asked Akihime who was interrupted by Shoko.

"Right now, Senpai is working as a support musician at Tomo, so she should know more about the situation there. Due to various reasons, I can't ask her in person... so I would like to ask Senpai to convey it to me."

Xiangzi sighed, mustered up his courage, and looked into Qiuhui's eyes.

"So, can we... meet more often in the future?"

Chapter 19: After No Longer Shining

"Of course it's no problem." Akie agreed happily, "I will tell you about Deng's situation. Conversely, if Toyokawa-san has anything you want to convey to Deng, I can also help."

"Thank you, senpai. Although I don't know what to say to Deng for the time being."

After hesitating for a moment, Toyokawa Shoko finally spoke again.

"...Also, it feels a bit awkward to call me by my last name. Please call me by my first name from now on."

Aware of Xiangzi's good intentions, Qiu Hui nodded and said, "Okay, Xiangzi. In that case, Xiangzi, just call me by my name. It's actually quite strange to always call me 'senior sister', isn't it?"

In Qiu Hui's opinion, if the other party shows goodwill, it would be impolite to refuse rashly. Correspondingly, a more appropriate response should be to accept the offer and return the same level of goodwill.

"Well, thank you, Akihime." Xiangzi nodded with a smile.

"What does Xiangzi want to know about Deng's band activities?"

After careful consideration, Qiu Hui decided to adopt the strategy of "answering every question" and "not answering any question" as she did during the first meeting.

"I want to know..." Xiangzi lowered his head in disappointment, "... Actually, not much. I... mainly want to ask. Is Deng... happy now?"

This somewhat serious question made Qiu Hui involuntarily start to think about the wording.

"How should I put it... She has a relatively positive outlook on the band. Although they are facing many difficulties at the moment, she believes that these problems are still within the controllable range and will be effectively resolved one day..."

…Why do you sound like you’re at a press conference? Qiu Hui complained to herself in her heart.

"Akiei's choice of words is really... interesting." Shoko smiled.

"Sorry, this is just my personal habit..." Qiu Hui stroked her hair embarrassedly, "Besides the situation of the lamp, is there anything else Xiangzi wants to know?"

She asked the question tentatively.

Shiina-san claimed that he would adapt the score of "Haruhi Kage" according to Aine and my own needs.

Although Suyo-san did not express clear opposition, it was obvious that she did not support Shiina-san's approach.

The conflict between the two is also a hidden danger within the band.

If Aiyin and Deng want to enjoy the band better, this problem should be eliminated.

However, regarding this issue, Akie believes that Toyokawa Shoko, as the original author, is also qualified to express her opinion.

Even if we put aside other issues, from the perspective of copyright alone, it seems that Shiina should have sought Shoko's consent before modifying the music score, otherwise...

...My thoughts unknowingly went astray to strange places.

But in any case, Akie still thought it necessary to seek Shoko's opinion.

Therefore, she planned to use this tentative question as a guide.

"Other things...?"

Xiangzi closed his eyes and remained silent for a moment.

Qiu Hui waited for her quietly.

Deng, Li Xi and Su Shi are all original members of CRYCHIC.

As the center of the CRYCHIC disbandment incident, Xiangzi's entanglement with the original members must be very complicated.

Therefore, as a party involved, it is not easy for her to reach a clear and definite conclusion.

"...That's their own problem."

After a long silence, Xiangzi spoke.

"From my current perspective, it's no longer my business to care about the new band."

"I understand." Qiu Hui nodded.

Since she herself may not want to touch on these topics, it’s better for me not to say anything more.

"Come to think of it, I was planning to come here to practice the piano." Akie stood up from her chair, "Shoko, are you still planning to continue using the piano?"

"You go ahead." Xiangzi shook his head. "Ah, maybe we can agree on the time each of us uses the music classroom, maybe take turns every other day?"

"I think that's fine." Akie sat down on the piano stool. "Then let Xiangzi take over the music class tomorrow?"

"it is good."

Xiangzi nodded and looked at Qiu Hui who was sitting on the piano stool and started playing.

The other party chose a simple exercise.

The complete and sophisticated art education she received as a young lady gave Xiangzi an instinctive appreciation for music.

Before he could react rationally, this acquired instinct rooted in his mind had already begun to analyze Togawa Akee's performance.

Although it is still smooth, it is a bit rigid.

Whether it is emotional expression or pure skills, it can only be described as barely passing.

Even though his emotional attitude was positive, Xiangzi could not suppress his artistic instinct and gave a merciless evaluation.

After the song was over, Qiu Hui tried to change to a more technically demanding piece.

But her skills at the moment seemed to be unable to fully support her in completing such a performance. She made frequent mistakes and looked at the black and white keys with difficulty, repeatedly struggling with the problematic passages while thinking about possible solutions.

Xiangzi recalled what his piano teacher had once said.

"Art is the privilege of the Muse's elects."

If I can barely be considered a person chosen by the Muse, then Senior Sister Akiie in front of me can probably only be considered a dejected tourist who has been wandering in front of the palace of art for a long time but has never been allowed to enter.

Although he felt that it was a bit harsh, Xiangzi still had such an idea.

For an expert, talent is something that can be detected just by listening or watching.

Perhaps Ake Togawa will never be able to go very far on the true path of "piano" throughout her life.

But even so, looking at Akiie who was in a state of panic because of a low-level mistake, Toyokawa Shoko still felt ashamed of herself.

Because, even if I can't be called talented...

…She’s still playing in a band, too.

The afternoon sun shines on Qiu Hui's messy and slightly parted hair.

The girl sitting in front of the piano. This composition suddenly reminded Xiangzi of that afternoon in the past.

At that time, sitting in front of the piano, with more exquisite skills, she composed a song based on the inner cry of a lost girl. The protagonist she played and sang was not Qiu Hui in front of her, but herself.

At that time, I might have seemed extremely dazzling in the eyes of "someone".

but……

Xiangzi lowered his head and looked at his fingers.

The experience of dealing with kitchen utensils and detergents in the past year has made my once rosy fingertips become rough and white.

...After that "power" was taken away, I became so small, humble... and selfish.

"Damn it, have I developed a hand habit? Why do I keep making mistakes in this paragraph?"

Shoko raised his head and looked at Togawa Aie who was complaining to herself in front of the piano.

Senior Qiu Hui, can you tell me?

Tell me how to keep moving forward even if you become "weak" and "powerless"?

Chapter 20 Meeting with Li Xi

After school.

Akiie, who had already made plans to discuss issues with Shiina Riki, headed directly towards RiNG.

On the tram, with nothing to do, she recalled what happened during lunch break.

I wanted to ask Xiangzi for her opinion, but she didn't seem to want to talk about the new band.

After all, that incident was probably a heavy blow to her personally.

However, her final statement seemed to acquiesce to the fact that everyone in the new band should do as they please.

From the conversation at noon, it seemed that Xiangzi was only concerned about the lights.

Well, as long as the new band can manage to completely cure Deng's shadow and allow her to form a "lifelong band" as she wishes, perhaps she will be satisfied.

For now, Togawa Aie can only speculate like this.