Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

She was sweating slightly from nervousness.

That's right. Now I have grown up and I don't worry about those messy things anymore!

I'm the guitar hero Goto Ichiri! I'm a super popular guy with a lot of friends at school! I just want to ask my friends for some information, it's a piece of cake...

"Pochi."

"Huh?" Goto Ichiri was almost frightened to the point of collapsing on the spot.

"...I always feel like you have something to tell me?" Qiu Hui turned her head and looked at Ichiri, whose eyes were evasive. "Or is it just my illusion?"

"No! I actually... have something to ask you!"

Before he could react rationally, Goto Ichiri spoke driven by his intuition.

Chapter 35: Pochi's Declaration

"You want to ask me something? Then ask."

Akie looked at Ichiri tenderly.

"Well, that's it..."

Although she had prepared her speech many times in her mind and made up her mind many times, when it came time to actually perform the speech, she still felt a little nervous and did not dare to speak.

"I want to know, Akiie, about..."

After repeated hesitation, Yili finally did not say the word "I".

"…What do you think about ending the band?"

"What do you think?" Qiu Hui seemed a little surprised by this question, "The ending band is the band I belong to, then what?"

"That's not what I meant. I meant... well, just like what Xiao Hongxia said before..."

Goto Ichiri blushed. Asking others about this kind of thing always made him feel inexplicably ashamed.

"…Nijiga feels that the band is like a second family. What does Akie think?"

As if he was about to throw a hot potato on the ground, Goto Ichiri spoke quickly about what he wanted to say.

"My opinion... Come to think of it, I'm actually quite envious of Hong Xia on this issue."

Qiu Hui smiled and shook her head.

"She can say that as if it's natural, but I can't. Even if I really have such thoughts deep down in my heart and know that it is actually a metaphor, I can't say it like she does without changing my expression."

"Then, if it was Akihime, how would you describe it?" Ichiri asked with anticipation in his eyes.

She was looking forward to the other party's answer.

I am looking forward to seeing what kind of answer Togawa Akee, who is more mature, gentle and strong than me, will give to this question.

"I think we are more like partners who are moving forward together." Qiu Hui smiled. "After all, 'family' involves many concepts of social construction. There are too many rights and obligations tied to it, so I don't dare to use this word casually to describe the end of the band."

"So that's what Akie thought." Goto Ichiri nodded.

The family is a social construct...with rights and obligations and whatnot.

Qiu Hui said a lot of things that I couldn't understand the meaning of, just like a civics teacher.

But, would ordinary high school girls understand family in this way?

Thinking back to his previous conversation with Hongxia and the accident that had accidentally occurred in Shibuya, Goto Ichiri felt that he seemed to be certain of one thing.

As expected, the relationship between Qiu Hui and her family should be... very complicated.

It wasn't as "pleasant" as she claimed, but it didn't seem like a simple conflict either.

Why is that?

...Maybe I'm still too stupid to think about such complicated things.

Yili lowered his head somewhat disappointedly.

"Then, how do we understand 'companions who are traveling together'?" she continued.

"This should be easy to understand," said Akie. "It literally means partners who work together towards a common goal."

"I joined the band for work, and Nijixia also hopes that the band will become popular. As for you, Pochi, you must have thought about making a living from music in the future, right? Although Ryo wants to pursue her own personality, she is not opposed to commercial success. As for Kita, I don't know much about her, but she seems to be very happy after the band became famous..."

Qiu Hui held up two fingers.

"'Fame' and 'profit', when combined together, can be collectively referred to as 'success' in the general sense."

"In my opinion, ending a band is about being together as partners for the common goal of 'success'."

"It's fame and fortune?" Ichiri was a little surprised. "Normally, I would have thought it would be a dream of music or something like that..."

"A talented independent musician who has no food to eat. Or a machine that makes a fortune by producing bad hit songs. Which one would Pochi prefer to be?" Akie asked a question that hits the heart.

"...To be honest, if I have to choose, the latter is better." Ichiri felt a little guilty, "If I choose the former, I might even have to trouble my parents for help..."

"That means your dream of music is secondary to you." Qiu Hui smiled. "No one doesn't like money. I think it's okay to admit it generously."

"…Nijigao and Kita-chan don't seem to have any particular pursuits in music." After thinking about it carefully, Ichiri expressed his opinion, "Only Ryo seems to care more about it."

“So, we are actually partners who work together to end the band’s career, just like business partners.” Akie concluded, “Wouldn’t it be a little more elegant if I put it that way?”

"Maybe..."

Yili lowered his head slightly.

But after hesitating for a moment, she raised her head again and looked into Qiu Hui's eyes.

"…But why?"

"Why what?"

"Why can't Akie be like Nijigao and openly think that ending the band is like a second family, instead of using... such a weird statement?"

Goto Ichiri asked a question that hit the nail on the head.

"Akie mentioned something like 'social concepts' and 'rights and obligations' earlier. To be honest, I don't really understand... and I don't think this is the way a normal high school student thinks."

“Isn’t that how it’s drawn in comics? Companions working together to achieve their dreams…”

"...Isn't it just like a 'family'?"

After saying that, looking at Qiu Hui who fell into silence, Yili suddenly felt a little confused.

Sure enough, at times like this, I would doubt whether I had done something wrong and whether it would be better not to say it out loud.

But, as Qiu Hui said.

Sometimes, doing nothing is a bigger mistake.

Goto Ichiri tried hard to encourage himself and bravely looked into the eyes of Akie who had fallen into silence.

"…I'm sorry." Akie smiled and shook her head, "I'm not quite sure how to answer this."

"It's okay."

Driven by intuition, Yili suddenly spoke.

While her mind was wondering why she had suddenly become the one encouraging others, she continued speaking.

"It's okay even if you can't figure it out for a while. After all, I often don't understand a lot of things, and I often make all kinds of jokes because of it."

"But Akiie is much smarter and more stable than me. I think if it were Akiie, she would figure it out one day..."

Goto Ichiri mustered up his courage.

Even if it would be considered unnecessary, even if it would make Akie unhappy...

…I still think it’s better to speak it out.

“…I’m sorry for saying so much. But, I…I think, Akiie…”

Even if you become incoherent due to panic and lack of words, it is still better to say it out loud!

"...One day!"

Goto Ichiri said this in a tone that sounded like he was confessing, almost shouting.

"...Akie will truly regard the band as her true 'family' from the bottom of her heart!"

Chapter 36 After the Show

After the study session ended.

Inside Qiu Hui's residence.

Qiu Hui was sitting in front of the computer desk, and the previous scene emerged in her mind.

Goto Ichiri's sudden bold declaration shocked everyone.

Then, realizing that her actions had attracted everyone's attention, she seemed to have lost the ability to speak in an instant due to the great shock, and turned into an unknown object that could only scream and twist on the sofa.

After all, Pochi is a very introverted person and cares a lot about what others think of her.

After attracting everyone's attention in that way, her situation must be...uncomfortable.

After that, Hongxia took a lot of effort to calm Pochi down.

"…A real family."

Thinking of what Pochi said at that time, Akie couldn't help but sigh.

Me and the guys who ended the band, by definition, could never be a real family.

After all, it is impossible to marry four people at once, or marry four people at the same time.

Pochi also said that partners who work hard for their dreams together can be considered family...

...How should I put it? Rather than a cartoon, this is more like some suspicious corporate culture construction. The company's performance depends on everyone.

However, Goto Ichiri's bold declaration did make Akie think about re-examining her relationship with the band.

Although we know that "family" is just a metaphorical word, Hongxia and Pochi are willing to use this word to describe the relationship between us, which is naturally a very clear expression of goodwill.

The end of the band now objectively has the common goal of "achieving commercial success". At the same time, the above-mentioned goodwill expressions also show everyone's clear willingness to establish an emotional connection with me.

…After re-examining it like this, the conclusion I reached remains unchanged.

As a member of the Ending Band, I should contribute to the Ending Band's career, and at the same time, show as much goodwill as possible in the relationships within the Ending Band in order to repay everyone's concern for me.

"That's it anyway." Akie let out a long sigh, "There's no problem."

Putting the matter aside in her mind, she began to think about what she should do next.

“…Why is your phone ringing? Ah, it’s Aine.”

So, Qiu Hui interrupted her previous thoughts, picked up her cell phone and answered the call.

Since the last video call, this kind of chat seems to have become a daily routine.

"Good evening, senpai! Are you ready for bed now? I want to practice guitar a little more..."

"That's great, isn't it? By the way, how about you make a video call this time? Let me see how well you've practiced." Akie said, "I'm wearing clothes this time so it's no problem."

"Why do you want to emphasize that?"

After saying that, Aiyin hung up the phone and immediately switched to a video call, placing the phone on the coffee table so that she would appear on the screen holding a guitar.

In the picture, Aiyin is showing off her guitar proudly.

"Senior, I feel like I've gradually gotten the hang of playing chords recently! Look, this is the F chord that I couldn't figure out before..."

"It actually popped out. That's progress."

“Hehe, awesome, huh? Watch me do it again… ah, this was an accident! Wait, let me do it again…”

"..."

……

"...I see." Nijixia nodded, "Akiie is indeed a very weird person."

At this moment, she was talking on the phone with Goto Ichiri who had returned home.

After arriving home, Yili finally calmed down from the previous chaos, so he was able to talk on the phone properly.

"It turns out that Akie-chan sees her family like that."