Hikigaya doesn't want to be a force of strength

Every time one escapes, the fear in one's heart is multiplied until it completely crushes the individual.

This is also why many people who originally only have social phobia gradually fall into depression and even develop serious paranoia.

Because after long-term escape from reality, the fear in their hearts has been amplified and escalated countless times because of their escape behavior.

It's like a monster that, with constant nourishment, rises to become a big boss of level 999. The enemy that originally only needed courage to be defeated will eventually become an obstacle that cannot be overcome no matter what, leading to absolute death at the individual level.

Karuizawa Megumi's fear of bullying is due to the huge shadow that has accumulated after she has escaped and given up countless times.

If she doesn't resolve the shadow now, the fear will only continue to grow exponentially in the future until it can no longer be eliminated.

"You're right. Running away might really be a mistake." Karuizawa closed his eyes and said, "I might really be shrouded in this shadow for the rest of my life, unable to escape the fear in my heart."

“Fear will not disappear. Even if you pretend to disappear, it will still be hidden in your heart.”

Hikigaya placed his hands on the railing of the deck, deliberately avoiding looking at Karuizawa's face, allowing the other's emotions to fluctuate.

"But even so, I still want to protect myself... This environment right now is everything to me."

"Even if this is just an illusion, a bubble that will burst at the slightest touch?"

Facing Hikigaya's questioning, Karuizawa fell silent.

"Then what can I do? I can't possibly resist Manabe and the others... If I had that kind of courage, I would have already..."

During the long years of bullying, Karuizawa probably did resist.

However, every time she resisted, not only did it not solve the problem, but it also brought her even greater pain and despair. This caused her to gradually lose the courage to resist, and she was swallowed up by fear bit by bit until now.

Her heart was like a stone thrown into a river, already too far away from the water to be salvaged.

"So, as long as I can get superficial safety, even if it's a false salvation, as long as it can give me..."

Karuizawa is well aware of the falsity of the current situation and the fragility of appearances, but she still longs for such hypocritical things and does not have the courage to pursue the right real things.

However, this is just sophistry.

"In the final analysis, all of this stems from your cowardice."

"Otherwise——"

Karuizawa's tone suddenly became irritable, and she glared at Hikigaya with almost hatred and anger, as if she regarded him as an enemy more hateful than Manabe and others.

Hikigaya did not react at all to the girl's angry attitude. He just stared at her silently without avoiding her gaze.

Karuizawa suddenly lost his courage and felt ashamed of his sudden temper.

She even murmured in a desperate and low voice, with clear crying sounds: "What else do you think I should do? Hey, Hikigaya, if it were you, what would you do? Tell me!"

Chapter 379 I will save you in my own way

"Hey, Hikigaya, if it were you, what would you do? Tell me!"

Karuizawa asked Hikigaya a question from the bottom of her heart. She was in a state of extreme collapse and confusion, and was completely unable to think.

The only thing she wanted to know was what choices others would make if they were faced with her situation.

However, Hikigaya did not tell her the answer to the question, but said calmly: "What I will do is not important at all."

Yes, the thought of what anyone else would do is useless.

After all, Hikigaya is not Hirata Yosuke, and it is even less likely that he is Karuizawa.

No matter what he personally chooses to do, he cannot change the outcome of the matter and the problem will not be solved.

"To put it simply, you are unwilling to resist Manabe and the others because you lack the courage to fight, right?"

"...Well, that's right."

Karuizawa Kei finally squeezed out these few words. She was obviously trying her best to admit the reality that she really didn't have any courage.

In a sense, this attitude of simply admitting one's own powerlessness is much better than the arrogant attitude of refusing to admit defeat even though one has no ability.

However, attitude is attitude, and the problem will not change because of an honest attitude. Karuizawa is destined to continue to be in a state of anxiety and distress.

Because of this, Hikigaya could understand why Karuizawa himself did not dare to resist.

He also once struggled in pain, and made choices that turned out to be wrong in retrospect without being understood by everyone.

In the end, all the past turned into shackles that bound his actions and made him unable to correctly convey his meaning or speak his mind frankly under the influence of fear.

Some things can be solved by just taking a step forward, but there are also many things that may not be successfully overcome even if you muster up the courage to do it.

In comics or TV series, everyone always easily steps into other people's territory and finally has a happy ending.

However, in real life, there can be no such beautiful things. Reality is cold and cruel, and it is impossible to change reality by so-called will.

Now Hikigaya could not blame Karuizawa for being weak, let alone look down on her or laugh at her for being cowardly.

Whether he didn't take a step forward or continued to stay in a comfortable environment, Hikigaya knew very well that Karuizawa would make more efforts in this matter than he imagined.

There was no way Hikigaya could simply deny the other party's answer.

In the end, it was Karuizawa himself who sighed silently.

As if she understood something, she slowly said, "I'm sorry, I seem to be a little too willful. Neither Hirata-san nor Hikigaya necessarily needs to help me. I understand what you are saying, but this is a situation where I must make the decision myself."

"..."

Karuizawa unexpectedly accepted the reality.

Even though Hikigaya himself was about to give up trying to convince the other party, Karuizawa seemed to have realized the importance of "courage".

When facing bullying, if the bullied person does not resist, all struggles are meaningless and the same thing will happen again and again.

This is exactly what Hikigaya wanted to express.

It's not that Karuizawa can't understand, it's just that the difficulties she faces are too great and the shadow of the past is too terrifying, so she can't muster the courage to fight back against the bullies.

That is something that goes beyond the scope of his personal will.

Now, the lonely smile on Karuizawa's face also proved that he did not really understand these words, but he had no choice but to rely on his illusory will and courage.

Witnessing all this, Hikigaya felt an inexplicable rage in his heart.

He didn't know what he was angry about, he just felt very unhappy with Karuizawa like this.

"I understand, Karuizawa. In short, you just need help now, right?" Hikigaya suddenly spoke, causing Karuizawa, who was about to turn around, to stop abruptly. "Although I can't replace Hirata, it's not impossible to help you solve your current problem."

“Really?”

Karuizawa's face was full of astonishment.

She obviously didn't expect that Hikigaya would actually express his willingness to help her, even though he had clearly expressed his refusal in all aspects before.

"That's nothing to be surprised about." Hikigaya shook his head. "I said I can't replace Hirata Yosuke, and I can't give you the help you need on the surface like Hirata did, but I can help you solve the problem in my own way, which is nothing."

Hirata Yosuke was unwilling to help Karuizawa because he did not want to solve the problem with bad means, but rather hoped to make the problem disappear in an upright manner.

Hikigaya is different from Hirata Yosuke. He is not good at using any honest means. He prefers to use despicable means to eliminate the problem before it happens.

The only part that made Hikigaya hesitate in this matter was that he was worried about the impact his help would have on Karuizawa Megumi herself.

If she keeps relying on her own strength and is unable to step out of the shadows by her own will, is that really redemption for Karuizawa?

It was precisely because of this consideration that Hikigaya showed such a hesitant attitude in helping Karuizawa, and even made Karuizawa himself think that he would not help the other party.

But after seeing the troubles that Karuizawa himself was in and witnessing the desperate situation the girl was facing, Hikigaya had no way of forcing her to do anything.

Because the difficulties some people face are truly beyond their capabilities and are difficulties that they cannot overcome.

In this case, who can deny their strong will?

The world that everyone lives in is actually so narrow that it is ridiculous, and the time everyone spends in the world is so short that it makes people feel helpless.

Therefore, people are never able to make perfect choices and will inevitably make considerations that are inconsistent with a perfect outcome.

But can anyone blame me? What's wrong with being imperfect?

Even if you know that the choice is wrong, as long as it is made with all your strength and will, it is still a kind of "correctness" and a real thing.

It was for this reason that Hikigaya embarked on the twisted path of becoming a lone ranger.

Hirata Yosuke has too much, and each one of them is precious, so he is tied up and unable to provide the necessary help, but Hikigaya has never had anything worth having, so he doesn't care about losing anything.

No one will listen to the sighs of a loser who has lost everything, but Hikigaya is also a loser, so he can empathize with those who have lost everything.

Even though we know that this is destined to be a wrong path, we can still sing to our heart's content on such an extremely wrong path.

This is the choice of the Mavericks and also Hikigaya's will.

……

After confirming with Karuizawa that he would contact her next, Hikigaya walked towards the dormitory while thinking about how to solve the problem.

To sum up the dilemma faced by the girl, it is that she is being targeted by Manabe and others, and she lacks the courage and willingness to resist, and she is unable to seek help from others.

The reason for this is due to the shadow left by Karuizawa's past, which was caused by years of bullying.

This is not something that can be changed with just a few words.

Hikigaya is not naive enough to think that he can change a person's mind with just a few words. After all, he doesn't have any hypnosis app.

Therefore, the only way to solve Karuizawa's predicament is to rely on external forces and solve the other party's difficulties through the intervention of other people.

However, this is not something that can be done casually.

After all, the reason why Karuizawa offended Manabe and others was because of her personality and the strong attitude she showed in the class.

The reason why she couldn't resist Manabe and others was precisely because she didn't really possess that kind of strong personality.

If everything were made public, someone would surely notice the contradiction between these two points and conclude that Karuizawa was telling a huge lie.

In order to make up for her lie, Karuizawa Megumi not only cannot ask anyone for help, but also has to fight against Manabe and others while bearing the shadow of the past.

Her despair and collapse were understandable.

To sum up, to resolve Karuizawa Megumi's crisis, we cannot rely on Karuizawa's own courage and wisdom, because she lacks these, nor can we seek help from others after explaining all the details, because Karuizawa cannot bear the consequences of having her truth seen through.

To solve this problem, we must solve it without relying on Karuizawa itself and without exposing the truth.

This is clearly a huge problem beyond imagination.

Even Hikigaya couldn't help but feel a headache.

But after careful consideration, Hikigaya actually came up with a good solution.

That is to imitate his own behavior of blackmailing Class C, let Karuizawa himself become the bait, and be bullied by Manabe and others, and then hide in the dark and secretly film it all.

Afterwards, he used this handle to threaten Manabe and others so that they would not attack Karuizawa anymore.

However, Hikigaya did not choose this approach in the end.

Because Karuizawa's situation is different from his, the other party does not have the firm will to become a bait, and may even be further on the verge of collapse in the process.

If Hikigaya was a more ruthless person, he might have made such a choice, but he was obviously not, so he undoubtedly denied this approach and did not approve of those who used this approach.

If someone uses such an approach, then that person probably doesn't even qualify to be called a human being!

Because this is no longer a matter of using any means necessary, but rather a beastly act that only inhuman beings who cannot even understand what morality and emotion are can do.

Chapter 380 Even if it’s you, Hikigaya, I won’t believe it easily!

Hikigaya then continued to think about what method could perfectly solve the predicament encountered by Karuizawa.

Although the perfect way never existed from the beginning, now that things have come to this, he also wants to find a plan that will have the least impact on Karuizawa Megumi herself.

At present, it seems that the best way to solve the problem is to rely on external forces.

Ryuen Sho from Class C is undoubtedly his best person to turn to. If he allows the other party to force his orders to Manabe, the latter will probably not cause trouble for Karuizawa again.

It’s a pity that Ryuuen’s personality isn’t the kind that he would agree to do anything if he asked him for help.

There is a high probability that the other party will use this incident as a handle to make a fortune from him.

Although Hikigaya wants to help Karuizawa, he is not yet willing to let Ryuen Sho exploit his points for Karuizawa's sake.