Hikigaya doesn't want to be a force of strength

After all, Horikita Suzune was very dissatisfied in her heart and felt that she had no reason to be inferior to this guy with a bad personality, who was even worse than herself in every aspect.

However, her idea was gradually overturned in class exams again and again.

The stark reality told her that her brother's vision was beyond her reach.

Even though Hikigaya seems to be not good in every aspect, the reality is that he can do things that Horikita Suzune cannot do and solve problems that she cannot solve.

Even after repeated contacts, Horikita Suzune herself began to regard Hikigaya as a substitute for Horikita Manabu, and changed from trying to gain Horikita Manabu's recognition to desiring Hikigaya's recognition.

Such a reality could not but have a serious impact on Horikita Suzune, and even left trauma in her heart.

Under normal circumstances, these traumas would not affect her mind, and Horikita Suzune herself is not so fragile that she would suffer psychological trauma so easily.

But when the sports festival started, she failed to perform as well as she should have time and time again. Instead, Hikigaya silently accomplished what she could not do. The resentment, unwillingness and even despair in her heart spread out along with the shadow of the past.

Especially since Hikigaya's actions often reminded her of her brother. The emotions that had nowhere to vent and the jealousy that could not be suppressed were almost driving her crazy, and she couldn't even calm down.

"If you don't say it out loud, you won't understand...?"

Hikigaya suddenly realized something when he heard Horikita Suzune's words.

He was once confused about his contact with Horikita Suzune. It was obviously not his original intention, but he inexplicably felt that he was becoming like Horikita.

At first he thought it was just a coincidence, but as time went on, he realized that the so-called coincidence was just another level of inevitability.

There is no doubt that if some things are not said out loud, others will not understand them.

But even if we say it out loud, will the other party understand?

The reason why you can't say what you want to say is simply because the moment the words are spoken, they lose their original meaning.

The mutual understanding between people is a false thing that only exists on paper.

Trying to understand each other through dialogue is just empty talk like flowers in the mirror and the moon in the water.

So after meeting Horikita Suzune many times, Hikigaya found himself becoming more and more like Horikita Manabu, because he realized that he and Horikita Manabu were in the same predicament -

Unable to convey what I want to express in words, and at the same time having no other means to accurately express my intentions.

Because of this, wrong ideas will become more and more ingrained in the heart until the day of complete collapse comes.

So, how to break this deadlock?

If words cannot convey, how can one convey the true meaning of what one wants to express without causing the content to be misunderstood in the process?

At least for Hikigaya himself, even if someone said something from their true heart to him, he didn't think he could accept it. He might even have wild thoughts, thinking that things were not that simple or that there was some hidden reason for saying such things.

Hikigaya himself is a victim of speech illusion.

Whether it's a false confession, false feelings, or even the thing you desire most is right in front of you...

He won't even believe it.

The cruel reality that had happened countless times had made him unable to believe in simple words. He had to think carefully about the meaning behind every word and erase all the good things that might happen before he could accept it.

Therefore, he didn't dare to believe whether Horikita Suzune would be able to accept everything he thought if he told her.

While Hikigaya fell silent because of the biggest problem he had ever encountered in his life, Horikita Suzune had already recovered from her emotional turmoil.

She seemed to be very embarrassed by her previous loss of composure. She didn't dare to look at Hikigaya's face and kept her eyes lowered.

Seeing the other party trying to escape, Hikigaya could only helplessly say: "You are right, some things should be said directly, but in fact, many things cannot be said because even if they are said, there is no way to achieve mutual understanding."

"This……"

Horikita Suzune fell silent, with the corners of her mouth twisted slightly.

She herself also understood these principles.

On countless nights, she had pondered deeply on why everything had turned out like this.

Why is it that the brother whose back I could once touch parted ways with me little by little in the process of growing up, and I can no longer see that familiar and reliable back?

But when she got a possible answer in her mind, her fragile heart began to escape constantly, denying herself from drawing a good conclusion and thinking about things in a bad way.

All tragedies originate from this.

Fragile people always dare not believe that good things will happen to them.

Because reality has long shattered all the fantasies in their hearts.

"Feel sorry."

In the end, Horikita Suzune could only respond in a low voice, apologizing for her previous loss of control of her emotions.

Hikigaya felt even more guilty after seeing this. After struggling for a while, he finally spoke: "Are you seriously injured? Do you want me to take you to the infirmary? There is still some time before the next game starts..."

"No, I'll go alone."

Horikita Suzune shook her head.

She didn't want Hikigaya's help anymore and wanted to get through this difficult time on her own.

After all, she had already expressed her determination to get good grades to everyone in the class, and used this to put pressure on others.

If she chose to give up at this time, she could not imagine what would happen afterwards.

The stronger you are, the more responsibilities you bear.

This is true for Horikita Manabu and Horikita Suzune as well.

Although Hikigaya couldn't accept it, he could understand it.

"Come to think of it, the girl from Class C who bumped into me did it on purpose." Horikita Suzune was taking a break when she suddenly frowned. "When she was running behind me, she called my name several times, forcing me to turn around. But at that moment, she bumped into me, making me so embarrassed now."

"I see."

Hikigaya knew that this was the method used by Ryuen Sho, and he also realized that the other party definitely had more than just these few methods.

Horikita Suzune silently shook her head: "It's really unlucky... The competition is only in the middle stage... At least we should persevere to the end."

"If you can't hold on, you must give up as soon as possible."

Although he knew that Horikita Suzune would definitely not accept it, Hikigaya still gave such advice.

"Humph, you know me. I will never give up even if I have to crawl."

After Horikita Suzune finished speaking, she stood up and walked towards the health room alone. It seemed that she had no intention of giving up.

Seeing this, Hikigaya didn't say anything else and turned away silently.

After leaving the lounge, Hikigaya silently recalled the conversation just now, and became more and more aware of a strange sense of disharmony.

He was very dissatisfied with the feeling that Horikita Suzune was only superficial, like she stretched out her hand tentatively but immediately retracted it.

But he didn't understand what he was dissatisfied with.

After all, people become dissatisfied because they want to get some kind of satisfaction.

But Hikigaya has always been very confident in his rationality and believes that he can see many things clearly, and even clearly grasp the desires of individuals.

He didn't think he had any particular desires.

If that's the case, then it should just be an illusion, just like the stupid feeling of holding chopsticks in your hand when eating but not being able to find them anywhere.

I make stupid mistakes like this occasionally, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Just then, he found that the students from the former Class B were walking towards him from a distance, playing and fighting. The unity of this class far exceeded that of other classes, and it could even be said that it was unmatched among the three grades. Everyone was always cheerful and positive in their actions, fighting uprightly.

Unlike other classes, all the students in the former Class B had smiles on their faces, were constantly interacting with each other, and seemed to be enjoying the sports festival from the bottom of their hearts.

Although Hikigaya affirmed the spirit of the former Class B, he did not want to get involved with these overly enthusiastic guys, so he deliberately hid in the shadows to avoid being noticed by the other party.

But he never expected that a pink-haired girl seemed to have the ability of X-ray vision and scanning, and came to him through the crowd.

Ichinose Honami twisted her body uncomfortably and muttered, "Hikigaya-san, do you really not want to meet me?"

Chapter 464: The Lone Ranger will never be self-indulgent!

Since Class D and the former Class B were in the same camp and were assigned to the Red Group in this sports festival, the two classes were actually very close during the competition.

In order to avoid suspicion, Hikigaya deliberately distanced himself from the original Class B, or at least tried to reduce the number of times he came into contact with the original Class B, thus successfully avoiding many embarrassing incidents.

After all, Hikigaya knew the personalities of Ichinose and the former Class B members very well. If he approached them in person, it would probably cause a lot of unnecessary trouble, and he didn't want that to happen.

That was why, when he saw the former members of Class B appear, he deliberately hid in an inconspicuous place, confident that he would not be discovered by others.

But what he never expected was that Ichinose was so persistent that he couldn't avoid her even when hiding in the shadows, and he had no choice but to meet her face to face.

At this moment, Ichinose seemed to have noticed that Hikigaya had been actively avoiding him since the sports festival began, and an unhappy look appeared on his face.

The pink-haired girl's pretty face showed an angry look as she questioned him:

"Are you deliberately avoiding me?!"

"No, no, it's just that I don't like crowded places." Hikigaya made an excuse decisively to prevent Ichinose from getting suspicious. "Your class always shows up in a huge crowd. You don't want to be ridiculed by the people in your class, do you?"

"People in our class don't make sarcastic remarks! Uh... probably not."

Ichinose originally spoke with great confidence, but then he recalled what happened on the night of the celebration party during summer vacation.

At that time, she was asked by a large group of people in the class about her relationship with Hikigaya. Many people even made a fuss, saying that she and Hikigaya were secretly dating, which made her extremely embarrassed.

Therefore, when he heard Hikigaya's words, he immediately blushed and stopped talking and ignored the topic.

After thinking about all this, Ichinose let out a sigh of relief, then pulled himself together again and said seriously, "Hikigaya-san, you put in a lot of effort in this sports festival."

"No, I just did some simple things that other people can do."

"How could that be? If it weren't for you, Hikigaya-san, the Red Team wouldn't have won the pole-turning competition!"

Although the pitching competition was a boys' competition only and Ichinose was participating in the women's pitching competition at the time, she was still very excited when she heard about Hikigaya's ability to turn the tide.

That was why she anxiously ran to find Hikigaya to express her admiration and gratitude.

"This……"

Hikigaya had never expected that something he did casually would attract so much attention from Ichinose. For a moment, he could only attribute it to Ichinose's serious personality.

The other party is probably so gentle to everyone, so there is no need to have any misunderstandings.

And Ichinose seemed to have something else to say, but was too embarrassed to speak it out loud for a moment.

The two of them looked at each other stiffly, like two guys with bad intentions.

Hikigaya reminded himself that this was just an alliance between the two classes, and he didn't have any other extra thoughts.

However, Ichinose looked at the quiet atmosphere and the desolate atmosphere with no one around. He was moved by some impulse and gradually couldn't stand the silence anymore, so he spoke:

"that……"

"Ok?"

Hikigaya took the initiative to ask back, and Ichinose was like a frightened little rabbit, and he quickly shook his head: "No...nothing."

"Oh."

Although Hikigaya felt that the girl's attitude was a little strange, he did not doubt it too much. He just thought that she was too worried about the sports festival and was eager to win, so he asked with concern:

"How was your class's competition? There shouldn't be any problems, right?"

"Yes, that's no problem. Everyone did very well!" Ichinose raised his eyebrows and showed obvious joy when he heard Hikigaya bring up the topic. "Shibata-san and Kanzaki-san both got good rankings. Although I'm not as good as them, I've also won the top few places many times. If nothing unexpected happens, our class should be able to get first place this time."

"Is it."

This is not surprising. The unity of the former Class B is obvious to all, and there are many capable athletes within the class. It is the class most likely to win the sports festival.

In addition, the original Class B has now been promoted to Class A and has stood out. I am afraid that it will continue to lead for a longer period of time and become the strongest class in the first grade.

"Come to think of it, your class wasn't in chaos because of Ryuuen's actions?"

Thinking of the chaotic situation of Class D now, Hikigaya couldn't help but be curious about the status of the former Class B.

Ryuuen is very scheming, and always uses dirty tricks to change the mentality of his opponents. Sudo and others from Class D have been furious for a long time, but due to the rules, they cannot take action, so they end up taking their anger out on the students in their own class.

Although the original Class B was united, it would still be affected to some extent.

Hearing his words, Ichinose's expression was indeed a little unhappy, but he still spoke gently: "Everyone was indeed a little angry at the beginning, but with my mediation, and the stable improvement in the sports festival results, everyone in the class gradually let go of their worries. Speaking of which, all of this is thanks to you, Hikigaya-san."

"What does it have to do with me?"

Hikigaya's confusion came from the bottom of his heart. He had no idea what the relationship was between himself and the unity of the original Class B.

Ichinose smiled and said, "Of course it matters. Not only because you reversed the situation in the pole-turning competition and won, but also because of your provocation to the former Class A. With the example of the former Class A, everyone in our class has realized that only victory is the most important thing, and we no longer care about the bad behavior of the former Class C."