Tokyo Soft Rice King

"The more mature me...not the unwanted me now!"

"So, it would be fine if I wasn't here...it would be fine if I just gave up my life!"

This is too self-deprecating... Hei Yuming was very puzzled.

However, people with social anxiety are prone to inferiority complex. Perhaps it is because they see another self getting along with others naturally and easily, so the feeling of inferiority is infinitely magnified.

As a righteous friend once said, you can lose to anyone, but never to yourself.

And she was completely desperate because she lost to another self.

However, Hei Yuming felt that this idea was too stubborn.

"There's no need to be so clear about the distinction. The other Miss Hongxiang is you, right?"

"No! I'm not the Miss Hongxiang you know! I'm not... I'm not worthy!"

When she first joined the company and started working, she encountered many setbacks because she was not good at communicating with others. Tashiro Hongxiang also visited this shrine.

She made a wish, hoping to be freed.

Maybe the prayers were really answered and the savior really came.

That is myself from another world.

At first, she was really grateful to her other self. When she received unreasonable overtime requests from her boss and assigned a tragically dead body to herself, the newcomer, it was her who stood up to defend her.

When faced with business communications that she is not good at, she will communicate with customers on her behalf... Thanks to her, work has actually become a lot easier.

This is a fantasy that everyone has had. It would be great if there was another self to go to work for you and solve all your troubles for you. Then you can enjoy yourself easily and happily.

The problem is that after I learned about her experience, I sympathized with her and felt compassion for her.

Tashiro Hongxiang bought a pair of high heels for her other self and gave her other body free time to move around.

There was no problem at first, but gradually, as she watched her get along better and better with her colleagues, and build good relationships with other colleagues at home, and even when she was invited by Hei Yuming to change jobs, she had to realize...

She is her 'better self'.

Tashiro Hongxiang's eyes turned red from crying. She hugged her aching knees, curled up her body and complained to herself.

"I... am just a coward..."

"I can't do it... I can't do anything... I can only hide in the corner... and push all the problems onto her..."

"But she...she would consider me, would think about me...she felt that this was my life...but she was clearly the better me..."

Listening to her inner thoughts, Hei Yuming roughly understood where the problem lay.

It's actually dissociative disorder.

My self-identity is confused, and I lose my sense of reality. I see myself as if I were looking at someone else, that is, I am no longer myself...

This symptom is particularly obvious when it happens to her because there is really another self living in her heart.

In fact, everyone has times when they hate themselves, and this happens more often when they feel regretful and think that they were extremely stupid before.

Looking back on the past, Hei Yuming only felt that his former self was an immature S13. If he could go back to the past, he would definitely give himself two punches to wake himself up.

Tashiro Hongxiang has herself from another world as a comparison, so she feels her own "stupidity" more directly.

However, when she said she wanted to disappear, she was just giving up and trying to escape reality. What she said was for another self was all an excuse.

So now he has to ruthlessly expose this hypocritical lie.

Bakayaloo! Stop being so hypocritical!

"Stop talking nonsense, Miss Hongxiang, you also want to live a better life, right?"

"What are you talking about... I already...!"

"The evidence is that you waited until I came home to look for you before running away. If you really had wanted to disappear a long time ago, there would be no need to wait for me to find you before taking action. As long as you don't tell anyone, no one will know where you will hang yourself, right?"

"Well……!"

"So in my opinion, that was your distress signal to me."

"I'm not...I didn't!"

"To put it bluntly, Tashiro Hongxiang, you're just jealous of your other self."

"No...! I didn't think about that!"

Hei Yuming continued to say words that hurt her heart.

"Really? Isn't it because you feel that you are obviously inferior to her that you want to disappear?"

"Ugh...!"

Tears welled up in my eyes again.

She felt extremely wronged.

Because... there's no way to refute it.

What he said was actually right. I shouldn’t think that way, but I couldn’t help but think about it.

My life... was taken away by her.

The moment this idea came to her mind was also the moment when Tashiro Hongxiang hated herself the most in her life.

I feel sick and want to vomit at my weak and despicable self.

This is the contradiction between Tashiro Hongxiang and herself.

Hei Yuming didn't say this to hit her so hard that she couldn't get up again. The following words were the key to this combination of punches.

"But Miss Hongxiang, you forgot one thing. The other you is not a 24-year-old young man, but a 39-year-old veteran."

The Tashiro Hongxiang in this world is a real 24-year-old woman in her prime.

He is even younger than Hei Yuming in his previous life, and is just a rookie in the workplace who just graduated from college.

The body may be mature, but the mind is still immature.

Without experiencing major storms, one's psychological endurance is much weaker.

"……Why?"

"She has experienced much more than you, so she is bound to be more mature and better at dealing with people than you, because she is not just another you, but also the 'future you'."

"My future self..."

"Yeah, no one becomes mature right from the start. Have you ever really had a good talk with your other self?"

"Of course we did! I know she's quite pitiful. She got into an accident right after she started working and became blind...but she still managed to pull through!"

"Yes, she tried her best, so why can't you do it? You have to know that she didn't have another self to help her share the pressure of life."

"what……"

Hei Yuming can only play a guiding role.

The only one who can save her is herself.

She is unfortunate because she becomes even more humble compared to her other self.

But she is also lucky because there is another self who can help her avoid various crises and prevent her from stepping on the same landmines as before.

"The other Miss Hongxiang, did you hear that? Why don't you tell her how you grew up?"

Tashiro Hongxiang closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, the aura had changed drastically, and it was the personality of the royal sister Hongxiang that came out.

She smiled bitterly, touched her chest, and said to her other self.

"I'm sorry, Hongxiang, it seems I went too far... I just don't want you to suffer as much as I did, but I didn't expect this would make you feel unwanted..."

"Maybe I shouldn't just come forward and solve your problem, but should teach you how to solve it..."

"I didn't tell you about the setbacks I went through because I was embarrassed... because I think you are different from me, and you can become better than me."

She glanced at Hei Yuming, her eyes revealing determination.

"Amin is right... I used to be as afraid of humans as you are, because I also experienced 'that incident'."

For her and them, that was the most painful past and the source of their distorted personality.

"Like you, I was once held hostage by a murderer."

Chapter 145 Let’s Believe in Money Together

"Twenty-five years ago... for me in this world, that should have been ten years ago."

In other words, this happened when she was fourteen years old.

"It was just an ordinary school day. When I was walking home from school, I was kidnapped by a woman. She was my neighbor who always greeted me with a smile every day. That's why I let my guard down..."

"Being kidnapped by a woman?... That's really rare."

Generally speaking, it is more common for men to kidnap young girls, either for money or for sex.

It is difficult for women to carry out kidnapping alone due to their physical strength, so not many of them directly participate in violent crimes, but many of them serve as accomplices.

"That woman is a lunatic. She's superstitious about some strange ritual and believes that as long as she transfuses the blood of three young girls into her, she can maintain eternal youth."

"Uh……"

It's really unlucky to meet such a lunatic.

Just by listening to her description of the crazy woman, you can know what happened to her next.

It must have been because of the blood being drawn. He wasn't killed instantly, but watched himself slowly approach death...

"She had planned this for a long time. She investigated three girls living nearby who had the same blood type as her. She prepared the props in advance and tied the three of us up at her house, intending to draw enough blood for the ritual in one go."

"Because that woman attacked them in order of their surnames, and my surname starts with T, making me the last one in line, so in the end, I was the only one who survived..."

"However, the other two girls were not as lucky as me. They were drained of blood by that woman right in front of me..."

Having read the manga Legend of the Card Fighters, in which the second half is all about playing blood-drawing mahjong, Kuroba knew that a person's blood volume is usually 3500-4000cc. If 1000cc of blood is drawn, the person will fall into a coma due to excessive blood loss, and if 1600cc of blood is lost, the person will die.

After a person dies, blood circulation stops and it becomes difficult to draw blood.

That's why the crazy woman wanted to prepare the amount of blood for three girls, because the blood of three girls can almost replace all the blood in her body, although it is meaningless.

"When it was my turn, I thought I would die there too. But just as I was about to lose consciousness, I saw the police rush in and subdue the crazy woman. I was rushed to the hospital for a blood transfusion and eventually saved my life."

After telling her story, the royal sister Hongxiang said with a wry smile.

"Since then, I've lost the ability to trust anyone. I even feel scared when facing my parents... Because every time people look at me with a smile, I always think of that woman. I don't know what kind of twisted thoughts are hidden behind people's kind expressions."

This is what is called once bitten by a snake, one will be afraid of ropes for ten years.

Social phobia is mostly caused by the original family or extreme experiences, and she belongs to the latter.

This experience was deeply ingrained in her memory and caused her long-lasting pain.

"So when I was young, I was actually a coward like you, afraid of interacting with people. But then, due to an accident, I became blind. That really made my life completely dark, but for me... it was actually a kind of relief."

"I became blind, so my fear of humans became a fear of the dark. I didn't actually get out of it, I just replaced the original fear with another one."

"However, it is precisely because I can't see that I can communicate with people normally... But I am really glad that you are not blind, because as long as you can overcome your fear, you will definitely live a better life than me."

The royal sister Hongxiang told her what was really in her heart.

She is just like those reborn people who go back to the past, just wanting to make up for their regrets.

After saying these words, the royal sister Hongxiang closed her eyes and returned her body to her other self.

"..."

After the socially anxious Hongxiang lowered her head in silence for a while, she raised her head and looked at Hei Yuming and asked.

"So... what should I do? How can I overcome my fear of people?"

The tone of the last sentence rose slightly, as if asking herself, but also as if asking him.

Hei Yuming was very relieved. After two rounds of persuasion, he finally made her give up her extreme ideas.

He even opened up a little and was willing to make changes, which is a good start.