Tokyo Soft Rice King

Shirai Shiori must have referred to many popular works nowadays and combined the elements she thought were good, but she failed to sew them together well, so there is a strong sense of disconnection when reading it.

But her writing style is really good, and she is very experienced in story logic and character creation, so the overall impression is okay.

After reading it, Kuroba Akira had a rough judgment. Shirai Shiori's writing was not bad. What she lacked was the sense of popularity, the use of gimmicks, the combination of content elements, and the control of the story rhythm.

At the same time, on the other side, Shiori Shirai felt a huge sense of shame in her heart when Kuroba Akira was looking through her works. It was much more shameful than when he saw her naked body just now!

Is it because he is reading my heart?

Shirai Shiori's toes curled up unconsciously, she was so nervous that her palms were sweating, and her bladder was at the point of bursting.

She felt like going to the bathroom, but didn't want to miss Kuroba Akira's comments. She was tormented like someone waiting for the results of an operation.

If creation is like exposing one's inner self, then every time I show him my work, my inner self will be laid bare before him, for him to admire... and to be evaluated and even transformed...

"Um……"

Hei Yuming's groaning voice made her heart beat faster, and the electric current ran from her abdomen to her whole body, almost leaking out.

"How, how is it?"

"First of all, the beginning is not very good. It fails to get to the point quickly and does not have a strong enough gimmick."

"Well……!"

"In traditional literature, the role of a prologue is to guide readers into the story's background, set the stage for subsequent plots, introduce character relationships, and so on... However, in the field of light novels, the prologue's role is simply to pique the reader's interest."

"I see... Wait a minute, I need to take notes!"

Shirai Shiori picked up the paper and pen, and said to Kuroba Akira seriously.

"Okay, keep talking!"

"Well, the rest of the sentence..."

Hei Yuming continued to list a lot of "shortcomings", but in fact those were not shortcomings, they were just not "popular" enough.

Mori Keima's evaluation of her was indeed not a compliment. The light novel written by Shiori Shirai is indeed of a publishable quality, but it is a bit "outdated".

When I read Kuroba Akira, I always feel like I am reading a work from twenty years ago. Of course, for this world, it is a work that has been popular in recent years.

This time, Shiori Shirai is mainly imitating her predecessors, but what is commendable is that the core of this book is still her own.

She is different from me. She has not yet degenerated into a follower writer...

In time, she will surely surpass herself and become an author of her own style.

At this time, Hei Yuming suddenly came up with a brilliant idea.

In the name of training, let Shiori Shirai be the 'gunman' of this light novel!

Chapter 124: I'll Give You the Name

Hei Yuming already had some evil thoughts in his mind, but he spoke seriously on the surface.

"However, what I have said above is only my personal opinion. It is not an absolutely correct evaluation. You don't have to accept it completely, and I hope you don't accept it completely."

"Huh? Why? I think what you said makes sense."

Shirai Shiori, who was recording, looked up with a puzzled look.

"Because I don't want you to become a slave to popularity."

"Slave to popularity..."

"Well, while sales are important, if you only focus on sales, you'll end up just following the crowd and losing your own ideas, becoming a second-rate author who just parrots what others have said."

"what……"

Shiori Shirai completely understood what he meant, because there was a time when everything she wrote seemed like something written by someone else. It was because she borrowed too much, resulting in there being no trace of her own in her work.

When writing this work, Shiori Shirai was reading light novels crazily, absorbing the essence from them, and by the time she started writing, she had that tendency.

Fortunately, Shiori Shirai decided what she wanted to write before she started writing, so this work did not deviate from the core.

But looking back now, I realized that I had indeed added too much irrelevant content, which distracted from the main points of the work.

"I think one good thing about your work is that I see what you want to express in it. That kind of sincere emotion is very contagious and is the soul of this book."

"Uh, thank you?"

After hearing a lot of shortcomings just now, Shiori Shirai felt a little embarrassed when she was suddenly praised.

She thought she was tired of hearing the praise and flattery from others when she won the award.

It seems that the recognition of those people is not important to me...but the recognition of Hei Yuming touched my heart.

Ah... That's what he said. It's a blessing to meet a confidant...

It feels like I have a confidant... but it's quite different from having friends.

Shirai Shiori silently experienced this feeling, hoping to receive more recognition and praise from him in the future.

"Creation cannot be divorced from reality, life, or reality. Even fantasy novels are meant to make up for the shortcomings of reality, and what you lack right now is 'groundedness.'"

Having said that, Hei Yuming suddenly added something in a very mischievous way.

"Then I'll take it off too!"

"Hey? Hey hey hey?! Wait! Wait a minute! Why are you taking it off too?!"

Shirai Shiori was shocked. She couldn't understand why Kuroba Akira suddenly wanted to take off his clothes.

Is it because I took it off, so he has to retaliate?

But he is the winner... Is it to avoid embarrassing himself?

I have indeed never seen a boy's naked body, so I am a little curious... But if I take off my clothes at this point, wouldn't it be like asking for that?

All kinds of chaotic thoughts flashed through her mind, and Shiori Shirai quickly covered her eyes with her arms and shouted nervously.

"If you take off your clothes too, won't that mean we're really going to do that? Are you really going to..."

"Hey, what are you thinking about? Open your eyes first."

Shirai Shiori felt the touch of paper on her forehead and secretly opened her eyes in confusion.

He found that Kuroba Ming was looking at him with a smirk on his face, holding a stack of manuscripts taken out of his schoolbag.

"Here, let's take a look."

"This is?"

"The manuscript of my novel."

"what……"

Shirai Shiori immediately understood that what he meant by 'taking off' was to show her the work.

Kuroba Ming also explained.

"You know that? There's a very special way for close friends to communicate. They draw each other's naked bodies. It's a chance to be honest with each other and face their inner selves."

Must be friends, not lovers.

There is only one thing lovers will do when they are naked, but only friends can do it without any other thoughts and examine each other's selves.

"I've heard of that... So you're thinking that exchanging our works is similar to that kind of communication?"

"That's right, but it's not just about communication, more importantly, it's about giving you a 'reference'."

"refer to……"

"Well, you can read it first. You don't have to finish it. Just read the prologue and the first chapter."

Shirai Shiori nodded, swallowed her saliva, and began to concentrate on reading "Sister Yu" written by Kuroba Akira.

……

"...so interesting! So interestingly written!"

After reading the first chapter, Shiori Shirai couldn't help but exclaim in admiration.

Because she has read so many light novels recently, she can better appreciate the fun of this book, and it is much more interesting than the light novels she has read.

"Although some parts are a bit...sensual...but! That part is also great! It makes you feel itchy!"

"Oh huh? You really understand."

Kuroba Akira thought that Shirai Shiori would frown when she saw the part that was close to the mark, but unexpectedly it was well received.

Shirai Shiori also calmed down, put her fist to her mouth, coughed, and explained.

"Well... after all, many famous works also have sensual plots to portray the characters' desires... but in your book, this plot makes the plot conflict even more dramatic! Amazing...!"

Shiori Shirai never thought that novels could be written like this. It was like riding a roller coaster, with exciting plots that continued and made people unable to stop.

If Hei Yuming hadn't told her in advance that she only needed to read the first chapter, she would have been unable to resist reading it all in one go.

"However, my book also has a big shortcoming."

"Um……"

Shirai Shiori nodded, she also noticed it.

This is also the most regrettable part of this work for her.

The writing is a little bit poor.

In fact, the dialogue part is okay, but when it comes to the various descriptions, there is an awkward feeling.

It's a bit like works translated by foreigners. It's inevitable to have this feeling when you buy novels from neighboring countries, because the content of the novels is degraded due to inadequate translation.

However, because this light novel is mainly based on character dialogues, it does not have a big impact on the reading experience.

Having come to this point, Hei Yuming's true intentions became clear, and he proposed with a kind smile.

"So I have an idea now... Shiori, how about you complete this work?"

"Hey?! Me?"

"That's right! Shiori, what you need now is to master the popular elements and story rhythm of light novels, and what my work lacks is writing style. So if the two of us work together to complete this work, you can improve, and my light novel can also be further improved... Isn't this killing two birds with one stone?"

"..."

Shirai Shiori is really a little moved.

To be honest, she really likes this light novel by Kuroba Akira. If she can write this work more excitingly, she will be happier as a reader.

But...is this really a good idea?

This story is his hard work... If I interfere, wouldn't it be like stealing someone else's work?

Kuroba Akira didn't know what she was thinking. He felt that Shirai Shiori's hesitation was mostly due to the "right of authorship". The proud author cared most about "reputation" and would definitely not be willing to work for others in vain.

So he unleashed the ultimate move he had prepared.

"Hehe, I know what you're hesitating about... When this book is published, I'll give you the copyright!"

Kuroba Akira only cares about profit, fame and such are completely unimportant, so I'll give it to you! Shirai Shiori!

Chapter 125 I Prefer White

"what?!"

Shirai Shiori made a sound of disbelief, her eyes widened, and she stood there in a daze.

She understood everything that Hei Yuming had said before, and felt that she had a strong resonance with his thoughts, but at this moment, she suddenly didn't understand.

What on earth is this person talking about?

However, Hei Yuming hadn't finished speaking yet, he continued to increase his bet.

He stretched out first one finger, then a second, and spoke as if he had made a great sacrifice.

"Okay, I know it's a bit stingy to just give you a pen name... so I'll give you 10%... No! 20%!"

Kuroba Ming continued while giving her a "V" sign.

"I'll give you 20% of the royalties!"