However, he did lose his temper in a hurry just now, even if he said that out of his own bad taste and practical needs, it was a bit... While Ping Xin was reflecting, he didn't notice that the corners of the girl's mouth opposite him slightly raised and then immediately returned to their original position. It seems that he does not have the talent to become a Saint Seiya.

His brain was working rapidly at this moment, wondering how he could capture the heart of a literary girl.

"...Poetry collection! I read the poems you published in the literature club's journal. Although you didn't actually publish much, it seems you were always writing poetry when you were there. Although my research on poetry is limited, I do have some knowledge of the field of literature."

This is the "optimal solution" that Pingxin came up with, and what he believes is the only solution. So what is Noah's answer?

"...I understand. Let's decide the specific time later on the messaging app. My apologies."

Namishio Noa trotted around the corner, while Hirayukoshi stood still, waiting for her footsteps to fade before moving. While he showed respect, he also lost some information, such as the girl's flushed face and... her heart, which seemed ready to flee.

Poetry... He actually read my poem carefully!

Chapter 40: Weekend Meetup

"If I were to evaluate your article in one sentence, it would be..."

"...that is?"

"That's bullshit!"

Calling the other person's article bullshit on a first date?

Noah Road, serialized later!

......

...

..

Back in the previous section, Ping Xin used a little "East Country Talk" to force a date with Noah (to discuss student council matters). He could have had more time to prepare, and the reason he had to resort to this tactic was because his Stand suddenly lost its power.

After returning home, Ping Xin was first examined with the most advanced and sophisticated instruments. These machines had been put into use for a while since he recovered from his previous strange illness, and the examination results showed no abnormalities except that he looked healthier and all the data were so strong that they were completely unlike a human.

Good health makes everything delicious. After returning home, we all went to Qianlong Pavilion for a hot pot buffet. Finally, we had a long-awaited binge. Aside from the resentful looks from the kitchen staff, everything was fine (I'm sure). Heishin also took this opportunity to gather his Avengers (crossed out)... the girls he knew.

About three weeks had passed and the sunburn marks of the beach group had almost healed, and even most of the five people from Roselia were unwilling to come. This situation really puzzled Ping Xin, so he secretly asked Ako Udagawa who came to eat for free.

When he heard that they had been eating mostly vegetarian dishes at home these days, Ping Xin immediately understood. It's okay for young people to be a little fat, after all, they are still growing. However, showing such a figure in front of friends and family is embarrassing enough, but what about in front of enemies (competitors)...

Hehe, no wonder Afterglow and Roselia didn't show up. This time, the low tide revealed not who was swimming, but who was wearing a "swimming ring"~

While strolling after dinner, Hirayobu smiled strangely and stroked his chin. If it was his younger sister, Xiaoxiao would have known at a glance that he must have had some bad ideas again, such as making junk food like French fries in front of Hikawa Sayo, or making Baku Baku desserts in front of Himari, or something like that—

No, maybe Aoba Mocha, who can't gain weight, has already jumped in front of me. This is bad timing...

After strolling for a while, Pingxin came to the familiar old park again. Everything seemed the same as before, but when he came to the two "mailboxes", he could find reply letters from "Asakura" and "Higuchi" respectively.

We should engage in both online and traditional friendships, only then can we say it is a healthy life!

As usual, I'll read Asakura's reply first——

"Hmmmm... Hmm, I see."

It is still very reserved, but apart from daily life, there are obviously more words about career direction. Although there is no word of hardship or tiredness, it gives people a feeling of "I am seeking comfort" everywhere. The overall text still gives people the feeling of electromagnetic waves, but the two people can just communicate with each other.

Then came Higuchi's reply—

When communicating with her, it was more like a circulated book and message board than a letter and reply. Ever since the famous detective Hiranobu pointed out from some details that she and Asakura knew each other, she no longer concealed it. The text that originally mixed complaints and aspirations gradually included more news about Higuchi and other friends.

Compared to when communicating with Asakura, Hirashin pays more attention to details when "talking" to her, because Higuchi is much more awkward than Asakura. If all of this was written by herself, she must be a tsundere, or maybe even a cold one.

The evidence is probably that Asakura is constantly acting cute, while Higuchi will confront you directly. If you don't offer comfort, her words will become increasingly irritable depending on how long it's been since she last offered comfort, and the sarcasm in her writing will also increase. If a real girl were to mock you in person, it might be endearing, but it's definitely unnecessary in a correspondence.

If you choose the comfort option, she will give you some nicknames such as "Mr. Love Saint" and "Mr. Life Coach" when you comfort her. By now, she has lost count of them.

"...Okay, it was fun chatting!"

After collecting the letter, he set out on his journey home. Although each day now seemed incredibly fulfilling, he still passed through the same few places. Everything seemed to have changed, yet it also seemed to have remained the same. Human change is rarely achieved overnight, but rather stems from every corner of our ordinary lives, ultimately forming an "effect" from countless "causes."

When he was living a precarious life where he didn't know when he would die, he didn't care about anything else except his sister's childhood. When his body gradually recovered, he thought about trying some new lifestyles, but in the end, his inner desire for stability made him return to his daily life. However, as this daily life continued, the feeling of "wasting time" and the anxiety that had accumulated unknowingly were about to disturb him again.

Maybe it's time to make some changes, more changes than before, to do something more proactive, more uncertain, and more risky (challenging), such as... finding Asakura and Higuchi who have been deliberately turning a blind eye to me all this time -

If Hirayama had to choose someone he'd find interesting to discuss new projects with, it'd be hard to choose. But if he had to choose someone he'd meet in person, he'd definitely choose Higuchi. The reason for this is probably because he truly needs some necessary criticism and advice; otherwise, he'd be prone to bloating and exploding. He already has several people around him with unconventional ideas, so if he added one more...

"Hehe... while it should be fun and challenging, it might not be good for your blood pressure or heart rate..." He smiled and shook his head, as if wanting to pour out all his thoughts, though everyone knew that wouldn't be effective. He also shouldn't open the box with his two pen pals. If they didn't want to meet, then it would be best to keep it that way. Sometimes, this "backward" approach can actually bring peace of mind.

But in the end, he is still confused. What kind of life and what kind of life is he pursuing?

Whether it is money, wealth, status, looks, strength, or women, he has already possessed everything he should have, even to a level that others cannot catch up with in several lifetimes, but what does he really want?

"If I had a choice, what I would want most is..."

......

...

..

"...I, Asuka Maheishin, just want to live a peaceful life."

"......ha?"

Even the well-educated Noah couldn't help but sigh in a way that sounded unladylike. First, she was inexplicably "forced" to go on a date, then when discussing the article, she started with "bullshit." And when I asked you how to do it, you told me this!?

Noah, the raw salt, was angry.

Chapter 41: Discussion in a Coffee Shop

"...I, Asuka Maheishin, just want to live a peaceful life."

"...So...what do you mean?"

Let's put aside the question of whether she can win or not. As a literary girl and a well-educated person, Noah Shengyan naturally would not think of solving everything with violence. It's just that there was no teasing or perfunctory in Ping Xin's words. This unique answer actually aroused her curiosity in a sense.

If the guy on the other side was an ordinary scumbag, she would have stepped into a carefully prepared trap. Unfortunately, the guy on the other side was just complaining about her.

"Ms. Raw Salt Noah..."

"I'm here!"

"Do you just want to entertain yourself, or do you want to write something that has real value in the eyes of others?" Ping Xin took a sip of coffee. Hmm... a bit bitter. Add two more sugars, no, four!

"...Can't we have both?"

"Good, you're ambitious! ... I like kids like you, but it's a pity you're not on either side right now."

Seeing him speak so seriously, Noah, who was sitting opposite him, began to doubt himself. Could it be that what I wrote was really that bad?

"It's not that bad actually—"

The frown relaxed.

"The writing is fluent, the format is neat, and the wording and sentence structure are flawless. You occasionally bring up some allusions, which makes you feel like you've read a lot. Also, your handwriting is good, and you can tell you've practiced."

"...No more?"

Ping Xin didn't say anything, just gave her a look and let her figure it out for herself. So, apart from these so-called "advantages," was there really nothing worth mentioning about the content?

"The content isn't actually that bad. It contains some of your inner thoughts and reflections on social phenomena. Even experts can find no fault with it and it's 'safe' enough for children to watch. It's just that..."

"...only?"

"It's just not interesting, that's all."

"...boring?"

Raw Salt Noah's hands tightly gripped the corner of her clothes under the table. She had thought it would be a "romantic" date between a man and a woman, but the content was completely different from what she had imagined. Not only was her work not praised, but it was almost worthless.

Although it is nice to be taken seriously, it is still sad to be rejected by someone you respect.

"Boring?... If I have to choose between 'yes' and 'no', I think it's definitely the former. Because from what I feel, your work is like... silver."

"silver?"

"Simply put, it's stuck there, unable to move forward or downward... Your poems contain your own feelings and thoughts, but they are not just your feelings and thoughts. There are too many impurities in them!"

Purity is too low!

"Impurities...?"

Raw Salt Noah was curious.

Because even if she showed her masterpiece to her parents or the servants at home, she would only get some ambiguous or perfunctory answers. There were too many idlers in the literature department and no real friends, so this was the first time she was evaluated so seriously.

"I think it might be the influence of your upbringing. When you interact with others, do you always consider etiquette and your image, and then think about all sorts of things, but ultimately say nothing? Do you tend to point fingers at this hot topic or that mess, but that's all you do?"

"..."

“So the conclusion is—

When you think of yourself as a student, you are always disturbed by impurities that do not belong to this age group. It is difficult for you to think and feel like people of this age. You do not have the carefree happiness of childhood, the gradually enriched self of junior high school, and there is still nothing worth mentioning in high school. Therefore, your works do not have the kind of true feelings that can resonate with people's hearts.

Although you try to elevate your perspective to that of an adult, or even a higher level, you're still stuck within the limitations of your student status, personality, and abilities. While you might have something that might be considered a reflection of your personality or thoughts, like "not chasing trends like other girls," your limited social and life experience prevents you from truly describing things or reflecting on them. Ultimately, you're just following your own likes and dislikes, with nothing more to offer.

You want to be everything but you're not good at anything. That's why I call you a 'Silver'... There's a writer who said something that really fits you... 'You can't say you hate things you hate, and you're always sneaky about things you like.' Silver Noah, in the 16 years of your life up to now, how many minutes and seconds have you actually lived for yourself? Have you truly...lived out your true self?"

"!"

Who is my true self? This is a question that countless people have pondered since ancient times.

From children who have just awakened their self-awareness to elderly people in their octogenarians, beggars as humble as dust struggling on the line between life and death, billionaires with assets of over 100 million and abundant material wealth, students who have eaten their fill and dream in peacetime, soldiers rolling in the trenches in wartime...many, many people have thought about it.

Oh, yes, of course there are some philosophers who think all the time and everywhere.

"Nanoshio Noah, the real you can't just be this good girl with nothing special about you. The real you should have much greater potential. How is it possible that even the people in the literature department can't remember your characteristics other than your looks and figure? Are you willing to live like this?"

"..."

She didn't reply, but her eyes and demeanor changed. An unknown fire gradually ignited in her heart. Was it anger?

No, it's not.

Although she hated her own powerlessness and weakness, she wasn't one to get carried away. Even though she had a sentimental side, she was someone who understood what she could and should do. It was natural for her to doubt and question herself after Ping Xin's previous actions.

It is precisely because she has always acted, lived, and done everything rationally that she chose poetry as a way to express her inner feelings. However, her entire existence has been unconsciously "rationalized." However, acting entirely on rationality is something humans cannot do, so she constantly repeats the conflict between rational action and emotional thinking.

This contradiction is also reflected in her literary works, that is, in her poems. It is precisely because of this that her works are said to be completely meaningless and nonsense. If even the author herself cannot stand up and admit it, how can such works be recognized by others?

"...So what should I do now?"

Chapter 42: Noah's Hand

"...So what should I do now?"

"'What should I do'?... No, that's not right. It's not about what I should do, but what I want to do! Only you can fully understand your own heart. This is something no one else can do or do for you. Humans are separated from others by the existence of their inner hearts, and thus become unique individuals.

We experience joy, disappointment, fear, recklessness, complacency, and loss. Every person is unique. Even if they do the same thing, the thinking behind it and the specific actions may be completely different. This difference is the essence of a person's "personality," and it is what you need to discover now.

Just like when I said I wanted a 'peaceful life', you must have something in mind. Something different from the empty words embellished with hypocritical rhetoric before, something you truly yearn for, something you truly want to do, something you can't bear even for a moment!

"I see... Then - what you are doing to me now is just what you really want?"

......

...

..

Noah's hands weren't small, but they weren't oversized either. They comfortably hugged her, perhaps part of the "perfection" of their perfect height difference. Living in a more privileged environment, her hands felt even more delicate and smooth than Yuka's, with no visible marks or damage from manual labor or accidents, save for the calluses on her fingers from years of holding a pen.

Overall, her hands weren't as plump and delicate as Akane's, but they weren't as bony as Nel's, making you worry about whether she was eating properly. They weren't as lively and elastic as Asuna's, nor as textured as Karin's. Instead, they had a slenderness and softness that was unique to her.

Although she doesn't enjoy makeup and dressing up like the average JK, she's been meticulously caring for her skin for the past decade. Her skin, already fair, has taken on a delicate, melancholic beauty from spending so much time indoors. Her slender hands once danced across the distinct black and white keys of the piano, but she can't find her own place, whether at school, at home, or right now.

She has been a "sensible" child since she was young. She obeyed her parents' teachings and the guidance of her tutor, and understood what was right and wrong. However, she could not understand this confusing world with only black and white words. Little by little, she grew up with confusion, and eventually created her current contradictory self -

Just like now, the feeling of Ping Xin's face caressing her hand made her feel itchy. Rationally, she should have shaken him off and called the police immediately, but for some reason she couldn't understand, she chose to let him do it. Even though Ping Xin was a married man with four girlfriends, even though this was absolutely wrong and "black" in the eyes of the world and her own rationality, she did it...

Because she wanted to do this, and had wanted to try it out for a long time!

As mentioned before, Hayase Yuuka once discovered that Namishio Noah was sometimes looking at her, but even when she was discovered, she did not panic or get confused, because in Noah's view, this was just a hobby called "human observation" and not "black" called voyeurism.

It's not "black," but it's not "white" like her either, more like a gray that lingers on the edge. Perhaps because she's been suppressed for too long, she's developed some rebellious thoughts and a desire to "do wrong," but ultimately rationality suppresses these emotions within a gray feeling, but even so, she's addicted.

She has observed many people—

My parents, the servants at home, the teachers at home and at school, the students at school and those I met occasionally, the relatives who came to visit my home to build connections... the beautiful, the warm, the ugly, the selfish, the humble, the twisted, the hateful, the envious, the loving, the lustful, the indulgent, the free, the hypocritical, the greedy, the false, the crazy...

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